Day 215: Update on the pain in my back and elbow

The pain in the middle of my back, as described in my previous post, started to gradually dissipate with time. However, it intensified a couple of days before I was to travel to Vienna for a 6-day Tree Climbing Course Level B. That created worry about whether I would be able to take part in the course, and I have been wondering even about cancelling my participation in the course. Last time when I attended the Level A course, I was able to pack the inversion table in my car in order to use it every day for back pain relief. However, this time I had much more climbing and rigging equipment with me, and there was no space left to take the inversion table with me. I took a gamble and departed for Vienna, and luckily the 2nd day of the course, the back pain was gone, and it did not come back again, not even in the weeks that followed after I returned home.

I got a slight back pain a week ago, but it was not located in the lower back, but in the middle of my back, below the scapula, where the limitation system is located. The pain started to emerge slowly, and I correlated it with my thought patterns at the time. I have been thinking about how the fall season started and how it is not good to prune trees during the period of releasing the leaves. Consequently, I was not sure if I would be getting enough orders to earn the money for fixed monthly expenses and by January 2026 save enough money to pay for the certified European Tree Worker course, which is one of my goals. However, that pain went away in a couple of days after I did some self-reflection on that point and aligned myself again with the fact that I am able to find work and earn money very quickly.

The next chronic pain point that I have been facing for about 2 months is the pain in my right elbow. I already wrote about such a point two posts ago however, at that time it manifested at my left elbow. Initially, I considered that pain as the consequence of doing two physically very exhausting pruning projects. The first one was in regards to a large old cherry tree where I spent 8 hours in the canopy and 15 total working hours the first day, and 6 hours of ground work the following day, where I would, towards the end, hold a top-handle chainsaw in my right hand while cutting thick branches to hundreds of firewood logs. And in the following week, I completed 4 projects, including pruning and partial removal of a cypress hedge that took 8 hours in total. During that time, I held my right hand raised high while holding a battery pruner for several hours.

Since the pain in my right hand persisted for a long period of time, I concluded that I had overburdened specific muscles and that I simply needed to give them enough time in order for sufficient healing to take place. But now it has already been 3 months after those two exhausting projects took place, and I started to become suspicious that there is some other reason for that pain. There is also a psychological aspect to the large old cherry tree project since I also was not paid for it as initially expected. When I visited the client after the project was completed, she somehow expected a lower sum to pay, which was not aligned with my hourly rate that I had informed her about in the beginning. She also had a company related to trees, and I expected a fair and honest attitude, but she diminished the value of my work. At the end, we established a middle ground, but I was still disappointed about losing some income.

I have again read the article about how the elbow points represent our structural resonance controlled direction antennas, referred to also as the The Choice System order to make sense of it. So let me take a look at how I am currently experiencing pre-programming of my life and the illusion of choice while I am in the system, where the main program is survival. What I conclude is that I am keeping a detailed record of income and expenses, account balances, fixed monthly expenses, and planned expenses. In terms of survival, I am constantly estimating how many months my current savings can keep me afloat in case I do not have and new income. This reflects in my motivation to get new jobs and earn more money. And then I also made investment plans in order to develop myself professionally and progress towards offering a higher quality of my services.

At the beginning of next year, I plan to invest in training and testing in order to complete certification for the European Tree Worker. I calculated how much money and time I would have to invest, and currently I only have enough savings to cover that expenses if I disregard fixed monthly expenses. So I would have to, in the following 2 months, additionally get at least the same amount of money just to break even. In terms of the possibilities of how to get the money, I am currently focused only on earning money by offering my arboricultural services. I am aware that there are countless possibilities of getting the money, but I do not want to think about them. I am getting frequent phone calls with invitations to different investments, but I consider them very risky. Getting new jobs in my line of business is relatively easy, and the money is practically guaranteed, but it is still a business of exchanging time for money and thus enables a limited possible highest monthly income. 

Currently, we are entering the season of fall, in which it is typical that tree climbers are starting to experience a reduced amount of orders, and there is usually even less work for them in the winter. Also, it is not recommended to prune deciduous trees while they are in the phase of releasing their leaves. During this phase, it would be best if people would call me for tree removals, and I am wondering how many of them will consider this and create sufficient orders for me. Thus, there is constant worry about how things will turn out and what actions to take in order to guarantee survival. But at the end, I am confident enough in my ability to earn money, and of course, there is also the option to terminate my business and again start to receive unemployment benefits from the government. And if I look at my situation from the holistic perspective, I can conclude that I have entered this illusion of separation and I am able to exit it any time I decide to and leave everything behind, including the system of survival altogether.

But there is also another point where I am considering my main movement altogether. Regardless of what I do, no matter where I am and with whom I am in contact, there is always the same underlying point of experiencing myself and others as systems with thinking and acting patterns. So I have been wondering if arboriculture should actually be my main occupation, or am I by deciding for it compromising and limiting myself due to the system of survival. I have been considering what other paths I could take in order to have a greater impact in this world in terms of assisting me and others to remove all points of separation from our minds faster and with greater efficiency. For example, I could be part of a group that develops an AI agent, like there already exist many of them in the form of virtual psychotherapists and life coaches. Because I see how many people struggle and suffer for years circling in the same patterns of coping, self-abuse, and conflictual relationships, and having resistance to using tools as Desteni I Process.

There, however, are also many other Destonians who have picked many different main occupations, like art, and are walking through the process of self-perfection at the same time. And considering how many different jobs I took in the past, I do not want to be known as someone who, after a couple of years working on something, changes direction and lacks professional consistency. I have tried before to work as a life coach in order to assist others with Desteni tools and resources; however, I concluded that listening to problems of others burdened me too much. I could also consider a point of savior that was my pattern in the past, where I was focused on saving others instead of saving myself by being focused on my own issues. So it definitely is the best if working on oneself is the priority, and then by being an example of how one is able to change, I then influence others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait so long that the point of separation manifests as physical body pain or other form of physical manifestation instead of processing points regularly while they are still on the level of information and energy. I commit myself to whenever I sense a point of separation and my mind is producing thoughts like: “This point is so small and it would be a waste of time if you do writing or quantum self-forgiveness.” to stop such thoughts, write down the point in my small notebook. I commit myself to constantly paying attention to my thinking patterns and processing them regularly in an effective way in order to prevent the manifestation of any physical body pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to indulge in watching movies for several hours per day instead of investing time in myself by doing more writing. I commit myself to whenever I feel blue and my mind is producing thoughts like: “You are not in any pain, so there is no urgent need to do any writing, and you are free to relax and enjoy watching some movies.” to stop and breathe. I commit myself to reducing the amount of time that I spend on watching movies and dedicate more time to self-reflect and process a greater number of points that are located on deeper levels of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted by social media and different online content instead of paying attention to what is happening inside me. I commit myself to whenever I feel blue and my mind is producing thoughts like: “In any instance that you feel bored quickly turn on the phone, check social messages, emails, and at least short YouTube videos in order to entertain yourself.” to stop and breathe. I commit myself to prioritising staying here and rather look around myself in order to see how I can improve my physical surroundings, instead of escaping into virtual reality.

Day 215: Change in chronic resonant condition

Since two years ago ever so slight pain persisted in my lower back that extended towards the right side. This pain would often increase or reactivate when I would prune or remove tall trees using climbing ropes and a tree harness or saddle. About a month ago a noticed that this pain point went away and I have not felt any pain in that lower right back area no matter how physically exhausting work I would perform.

A week ago I new pain activated in my lower back in a quite surprising event. I went up to the attic to collect the dried laundry. Then I went downstairs with the laundry basket until I reached the doors of the  1st floor hallway. I opend the door, went through it and closed it. A moment after that I started to think if I have turned the attic light off because the switch was right behind the door that I closed and I was not sure if I flipped the switch before I opened the door or not.

I started to think if I should bother to open the door again and check the position of the switch or not. At that time this apperant simple task that takes only couple of seconds seemed to me as an enormous effot. However since I wanted to assure that the lights at the attic are off, I have put the laundry basked on the floor, opened the door to the attic and checked the swith. After I saw that the swith indicated that the lights are off, I started to experience a sharp pain in the lower back. The pain however was not spreading towards the right side but was in the middle of my vertibra.

This pain came as a shock to me since I perceived it as something completely unnecessary and for no good reason. I just could not understand why I would experince such a big pain in while performing such small and easy everyday tasks. And the other fascinating fact is that that pain did not go away even after several day. Occasionaly it diminished almost completely, then it would increase again. So figured out that it wants to tell me something and thus I decided to do some writing again in order to get to the bottom of this.

Firstly I am not sure if the latest pain in the middle of my lower back is connected specifically to the thougth pattern or if it was just one drop too many. Because in relation to that thinkin was also past events where my drunk neigbout would oftern leave attic lights on after he would finish washing and hanging the laundy and other neigbout complaind about that. And other frequent thoughts in my recent time are related to my business and additional professional training that I plant to attend in the following few days.

Considering that pain in the back is related to overthinking, I can conslude that I was overthinking the point of cheking if the attic light are turned of or off. Thus I commit myself that whenever I return from the attic that I check if the light are turned off without any self-pity. In case that while I return from the attic I am thinking about something else and forget if I have during desent turned the lights off, I accept this as the fact without self-judgement and simply check the switch within emotinal stability.

In regards to the back pain being related to overcommitment and perfectionism, I can point towards my commitment to attend all available arboricultiural trainings and receive all the available certifications in that profession. In this year I completed te aerial rescue training and arborist rope access techniques level A in Vienna. And soon I will be in Vienna attending a 6-day arborist rope access techniques level B training. Initially I planned to also complete the arborist aerial lift training however I have then cancelled it because I estimated that it would be a too big money and time investment for me in this year.

Considering that I am in this illusion of separation and that I will leave everthing that is here behind, I am realizing how it does not matter what I do, because the sort of doing is irrelevant. I only am able to choose what I will do by picking from many available options and based on my ablilities, needs and desires.

Day 214: Pain in the middle of my back

Currently, the biggest point that calls for my attention is a pain in the middle of my back that has persisted for 3 weeks despite me already resting for 2 weeks due to rainy days and holidays. The vertebra in the middle of the spine also usually cracked after a minute or two when I would put myself in the upside-down hanging position using the inversion table. Also, the pain in my lower back has been occurring lately, and I feel it also during my work as a tree-climbing arborist while I am not in a very ergonomic position. A strong pain in my lower back occurred 2 years ago when I was doing height reduction of a big cherry tree with a harness that was not set properly, and I underquoted the project. So, the cause of the pain was a combination of physical and mental stress.

If I look at what could be the contributing factors for the pain in the middle of my back, I can also point out physical strain due to a period of intensive late winter and early spring work period when I would prune and cut down a lot of trees. I usually took only a day of rest after an exhausting project that lasted one or two days. Besides the back pain, I have been also experiencing tingling in my hands while I was lying down in my bed. The mental or psychosomatic factor is definitely the big step that I decided to make by ending a long period of me having the status of an unemployed person by becoming a self-employed sole entrepreneur. That change meant a loss of reliable monthly income and additional monthly expenses due to having to pay for healthcare, social insurance, and income tax.

While I was researching the significance of the pain point in the middle of the back I learned that it is also related to carrying burdens whether emotional or practical. Related emotions are guilt, responsibility, overcommitment, or feeling unsupported. Mental factors are chronic worry or overthinking, beliefs around self-worth and approval, internalized pressure and perfectionism, the mental conflict between wanting help and resisting it, and repressed or unprocessed thoughts. I perceived myself to be in a sufficient awareness of oneness and equality in order to process all the points that I am facing effectively in quantum time however it seems this not to be the truth. So it looks like I need to make a deep dive into my current state.

The reason for me to officially restart my own business is that I wanted to fit into the general population that accepts the enforced law and work for a wider range of customers. While I am aware that the public order is maintained using violence by the ruling government using implied consent and deception, I recognize the collective and personal benefits of such social structure. Thus instead of resisting everything that I do not agree with completely and specifically, I decide to again be part of the world system yet inform and educate others about better alternatives in a more subtle way. I also recognize that while the removal of all self-imposed limitations is the final goal, reaching that goal would also mean the end of all illusions and the start of a new age of darkness due to the boredom of experiencing limitlessness.

So I decide to take it slow and enjoy the journey of aware self-deception in the most balanced way that I am able to. One of the steps is also to pay the debt to the tax authority as compensation for being supported in the past several years. I realize that life and existence have no inherent meaning so I am simply moving myself forward in the frame of my current incarnation and according to the abilities of my human physical body towards what I am enjoying doing. I set my personal and professional goals as motivation for my movement since change is the only constant in life. I recognize the benefit of planned obsolescence since only things that degrade in time are able to create an infinite playground where I can experience all that is as myself in all possible combinations and varieties.

I decide to accept and allow the law as a self-imposed limitation and play the game of commercial activities by the book while I am also allowing myself the flexibility of movement as I am the ultimate limitless creator and creation. I allow others as parts of me to experience their own game of self-deception and suffering in this illusion of separation as this is the will of me as all that I am. I accept challenges that I experience in the game of self with self, having no other option but to operate in the spectrum between the extremes of complete forgetfulness and complete knowingness. While I express myself I am free from the approval of others and strive to do things best aligned with the industry standards, mainly for the purpose of self-enjoyment due to overcoming the resistance of all the elements that play a role as my opponents.

Besides keeping my mental state in balance I also take good care of my human physical body. I make sure that both sides of my body experience an equal amount of physical strain by mirroring the setup of my tree climbing harness and interchangeably using heavy tools on the left and right sides. While my profit will be income minus all taxes and fixed monthly expenses my priority is to earn enough money to cover my basic needs and the remaining funds will go towards my professional development. I take care to walk my life relaxed and take it as slowly as needed in order to avoid as many painful lessons as possible. I commit myself to do more frequent writing in order to process points with a greater level of success by bringing fast-moving parts of myself here and seeing them for what they are in full detail.

Day 213: Pinched nerve in my left elbow

For several weeks I have been experiencing chronic pain in my left elbow. The situation stayed the same regardless of what physical activities I did or how many days I rested. The pain is not constant and I do not feel it when my left arm is in certain positions, like if I am standing up, walking and my arm is just naturally hanging down. There is also no pain if I am lying in my bed in almost any position and the arm is not moving. I only feel the pain when I lift the lower part of the arm up or when I rotate it in a specific manner. I have been wondering if there is some nerve that has been pinched that produces such a feeling at certain movements of my left arm. It definitely is not muscle fatigue or the consequence of something hitting my arm or elbow. I tried to remember when the pain started to occur and there is some correlation with an event of me pruning a cherry tree on 10th June 2024. I spent 6 hours on the tree with a height of 6 meters and I used my arms a lot. In the middle of work, I took a break due to a short but heavy rain shower. So after I climbed back on the tree I had to be extremely careful not to slip on a wet bark.

The pain in my left elbow could be related to this pruning event or not. In a way, it does not make much sense since that pruning event was nothing out of the ordinary for me and I have done even more demanding tree care activities before and my elbows were fine. It is also strange that this particular pain did no go away like any other pain that occurred as the consequence of my physical muscle strain or injury due to some object hitting my body. So I have started to wonder if the origin of the pain is something related to what I have been experiencing on a non-physical level. I checked the information in the Desteni Structural Resonance document by Veno and found that the elbow points represent the antennas that control the direction of a move within the White Light gridline structure of the world according to conscious and subconscious mind personalized and individualized development and design during the experience of here on earth, also referred as The Choice System.



I do in fact am becoming more and more aware of how our lives have been preprogrammed and directed/limited by many systems, externally especially by the legal and money system. I am currently at a cross path when I have been deciding when if ever there will be a proper moment for me to transition from formally being unemployed to becoming self-employed again. In the current stage, I have more financial benefits however I am limited with how I can work and am not able to directly participate in larger arboricultural projects of the national budget consumers. I am in the final liquidation stages of my private institution where I have been in a position of a director. I am trying to remove all the tax debts so that I can register as a sole entrepreneur again. However, I am not happy about the fact that when I do register the government could issue any kind of fine due to breaking any of thousands of laws that I have even no capacity to hold in my memory.



Thus I have been looking at solutions related to the Quantum Grammar and Claim of the Life. I have already provided a document for myself that proves I am a fact and no longer a legal fiction in 2019. However, during the COVID-19 plandemic, I had limited success in using it to protect myself from the government. And also when the police came to my apartment on the order of the tax authority they ignored my documents and took me by force. I feel so much at a disadvantage considering law enforcement and how I can work hard to earn money for many years and then someone charges me for breaking some law and takes all my money, possessions, and freedom in an instant. I am thinking why bother doing anything in this world when it can be taken away or destroyed so quickly?

Also, it is hard to comprehend how existence works in totality since new things are being discovered every single moment. I initially learned a lot from the resources on the Eqafe website about the real history of mankind and the universe. After Bernard Poolmand passed I have been listening to United Network News reports of Kimberly Ann Goguen from The Office of the Guardian on how the systems are being removed, changed, and replaced with the goal of providing everything necessary to start the process of restoring our planet. Yet while it is cool to know that initial Alfa and Omega systems no longer exist and that a Golden Age system has been created, it is still not clear when if ever the promised funds from the KIMS - Key Integrated Monetary System will be available for all of us.

Recently I asked for assistance from the quantum change kinesiologist from the Space of Grace in order to gain additional perspective related to the pain in my elbow. The feedback stated that it is a personality activation of how I maneuver myself in my reality based on feelings/emotions of being used to getting what I want. She is seeing my relationship with my mother there as well so that is specific as in something I've copied from her or developed in relation to her for example she used to coddle me in some way, make me feel special in that way that I developed that belief or habitual pattern of just being used to getting what I want. It's a pattern of relating to my reality in a way that's based on a feeling experience of feeling/believing you need to get what you want. It's also testing out as a work-related injury but this point is also coming up as related to it.

If I look at my relationship with my mother who passed away several years ago due to suicide I can see that I was very close to her while my younger brother was very close to my father. My mother used to listen, understand, and protect me, including against the lies and deceptions of my brother and the pressures of my father. I am not able to recall any specifics of how she was able to assist me in getting what I wanted, however, she indeed was a general emotional support for me. It was more the father who projected power, directed our family business, and used the money to provide us with many of the material things that I desired. I am not sure to what level my mother played a role in convincing my father to buy me things that I wanted. When becoming sole entrepreneur for the first time in the year 2000 I was able to earn significant money and live a good life. I do not see the death of my mother as any pivotal point that influenced my ability to get things that I desire.

Currently, I am looking at what role I should play in my life considering my abilities, capacity, and gained perspectives. The profession of an arborist is something that I enjoy for different reasons however it also has downsides. It definitely enables me to exercise my physical body. Thus instead of me going to the gym and paying for lifting weights, other people are paying me for doing physical work of climbing and cutting trees. However, what I do not like is how the pressure of the climbing harness is stressing my physical body and also occasionally causing painful acne on the skin of my butt and hamstrings that heal very slowly. Also after several hours of heavy work, I need at least a day of rest in order to recuperate. My fingers especially need longer periods of healing due to pain in the joints after I do a lot of grabbing and pulling. I wonder how long and how much I will be able to endure due to aging so I am already moving towards diversification of my services and plan to do more counseling work in the future.

Day 212: Challanges of the arborist profession

It has been more than one year since I started developing myself as a climbing arborist. Tree care is mentally and physically one one of the most demanding rope access variants and my body had to go through a lot of adjustments. Muscle pains were a constant and the most persistant pain is in the small joints of my palms. Several months ago I experienced also a major back pain after s long period that took quite a while to diminish. And recently it came back aga recently due to additional stress factors. The first occurance was related to exhausting job of high cherry tree reduction and underestimating the charge for it. Also I was at that time not aware that the tree saddle can be adjusted much more ergonomically in order to eleviate the pressure at my lower back.

A week ago I got a new saddle that was suppose to be much better however it did not feel that way where wearing it. Sure it offered a lot of options for custimization in order to attach different tool holders however the texture of the inner padding was much more smoother and slippery. Thus there was less friction between the saddle and my back, causing the weight of the saddle to press on my hips instead of being distributer equally around my belt region. I did some additional adjustments recently that should correct the issue so I will see how it feels in the future climbings. That was the first contributory factor for reacurrance of the lowe back pain.

The second factor however was of a mental origin due to my decisions in terms of future development of my arborist career. One point is the cost of arborist equipment and my constant increasing investments. One can start climbing trees with basic tools that cost just several hundred euros. However considering the veriety of jobs that and arborist can face, it requires one to have larger arsenal of equipment that is aligned with professional standards that costs tens of thousands of euros. And most of it needs to be replaced every several years if not sooner due to war and tear, legislation of due to manufacturer instructions. It is equally with the knowledge and training. One can get some information from free or low-cost sources however the professional body of knowledge of arborists is vast and constantly expanding. Professional courses, trainings and certificates alse cost a lot of money.

Currently I am attending a 5-days aborist course at a middle school that is 2 hours of driving away. Since the classes start at 07:30 every monrning I decided to reserve a room at their hostel which was the cheapest way of lodging available. We are done with 2 days of lessons and there was a day off between the day 1 and 2. Instead of returning home I decided to stay for the intemediant day. Now I am back home since there was a 3 days of pause before we are to continue. So if I calculate the cost of the course alone and add the costs of lodging, food and travel it sums to a significant monetalty investment. Not only that but while I am attending the course I also am not able to work for profit and thus there is also the cost of loss of potential income. And the practical part of the course includes physically exhausting exercises of climbing and pruning trees that also take tall on my body, requiring me to rest for at least day or two after the course. Consequently my mind in producing a lot of thoughs of concers and worries that contributed to my current experience of the back pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for my mind to produce thought like: “The arborist course is a waste of time, energy and money since you already have all the knowledge thay you require to exectute jobs that the clients ordered.” instead of realising that I do not know what I do not know and I definitely already gaind very useful knowledge after attending just first 2 days of the course. I commit myself to when and as my mind is creating doubts about investments in professional training to constantly gradually invest in becoming a better professional considering the available savings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for my mind to produce thought like: “You are already a middle-aged man and it does not make sense to star with arboriculture due to your body slowly becoming weaker and weaker.” insetad of realising that I am in relatively good shape and am getting old very slowly. I commit myself to take on loads aligned with the capacity of my physical body and to have enough rest while stopping and b reathing every time my mind starts worring due to loss of income in time of rest.

Day 211: Finally got a laptop replacement

It has been one month since I visited the Planet of Health and got diagnosed with energy blockage in the bottom part of my human physical body. I was prescribed certain essential and cold pressed oils to take couple of times per day and a specific vegan diet. Two weeks later my back pain significantly diminished however it still did not go away completely. A day before yesterday while I went around the Maribor city suburbs on foot it looked liked the back pain was completely gone however the next day the pain was back in the morning while I was still in bed. Yesterday I decided to finally invest in a used laptop computer in order to have a comfortable enough tool to restart writing in this blog. Now I plan to write more regularly so that my unconscious mind patterns are processed effectively.

If I go back in time and look at the the events before my back pain occured I can see that it was related to several incidents. One was my general decision to start working as a climbing arborist that involved hard physical work in tall trees doing pruning or complete removal of a tree. In relation to that point I have been experiencing muscle pains due to new body movements however they were soon gone as the muscles adapted to such forces. More concerning thing was the chronic pain in my finger joints that started last year after doing very demanding hedge trimming for several weeks. At the end of November 2022 the joints on my fingers became so swollen and painful that I had to rest for the whole of December in order to regain normal movement. Thus in the beginning of 2023 I was very careful to slowly introduce strain to my fingers in order not to cause any permanent damage. However after doing heavy physical work with my hands the pain reoccurs and persists up to 2 weeks or more after I stop with such work.

The second incident was a specific job where I had to remove one cherry tree that was 10 meters tall, make another similar cherry tree half of its original size, and reduce several other beech trees. The weather in time of project execution was very unstable and it offered only small windows of time when the rain was not falling. So I did the removal of first cherry tree one afternoon and reduced the other cherry tree the following week. Just after I completed the reduction that was the time when I started to experience current lower back pain for the first time. I hoped that the pain will be gone after a night of rest and that next day I would be able to continue with finshing the project. However the next morning the back pain persisted so I decided to have a talk with the client. I wanted to renegotiate the fee since I realised that my quote was several times lower regarding the quantity of time or work needed to complete the project. The meetring resulted in client's decision to stop the project and I was payed for the so far completed part much less than I wished for. If I look at the thoughs that was going on in my mind during that time that eventually resulted in my back pain I can describe them like this:

1. I see that a climbing arborist work is very physically demanding. In recent years I have been working much less physically exhausting tasks since I mostly worked with computers. I will be 50 years old this year and I wonder if my body will be able in time to adapt to much more phsycally havy tasks.

2. I see that my fingers get painful already after couple of days of hard work and they take weeks to heal. Will this situation in time improve and my fingers will get more resilient? Will change in my diet contribute to decrease or complete removal of pain in small joints?

3. I see that investment in arborist knowledge and equipement demands time and money. Will it be worth it, and is working with trees something that I am pasionate enough to do it for many years to come? Or will I loose the interest if some better opportunity comes along?

4. I see that quoting tree jobs is quite tricky since one similar tree can take several times more work to trim or remove that the other due to situation that can not be identified by just observing it from the ground. What to do when the actuall work necessary is far greated that originally predicted?

5. I see that in tree work weather is a significant factor that limits the time available to work on trees. Will I be able to earn enough in days of good weather? Will I get enough jobs in winter? Should I also work on trees while raining like they do in some other, especially northern countries?

Day 210: Restarted writing

It has been almost 2 years since I last supported myself with writing and I see that things accumulated to the point where I need to look at my situation and make some resolutions. I did start with a blog post last year during the plandemic, however, I did not have enough motivation to finish it. One of the contributing factors for not writing sooner is that several months ago my laptop computer got damaged beyond repair so only my desktop computer is available now. I tried to write on it however being in a sitting or standing position is so unpleasant for me that I can not do proper self-reflection. I also tried writing using pen and paper however I found it similarly odd and ineffective. I now finally created a solution where I am in a similar relaxed position as using a laptop computer while using a desktop computer. So the things that I need to address are related to a drastic change in my professional career where I switched from working behind computers to doing manual jobs in people's gardens. In the summer of 2022, I started trimming hedges and I slowly transitioned to bigger trees. The new type of job came with many uncertainties and concerns. One of them was observing the capacity of my physical body to do manual work. While I considered that I gave myself enough rest between jobs I started to experience massive pain in my palm joints on both hands at the end of November.

Since besides the pain my joints also were not closing smoothly it was a very unpleasant feeling grabbing thing and I became worried that I permanently damage my fingers. Luckily after resting for the whole of December the pain slowly diminished and the functioning of the joints became normal again. Thus in January 2023 I slowly started to increase loads to my fingers and observed how they would respond. Sadly the pain came back after doing manual work only for a couple of days and persisted for up to two weeks. Such is the situation until now despite already making some dietary changes that should result in betterment. In February I did research about the causes of pain in small joints. What I found was the information explaining that humans after certain age produce 1% less collagen every year which is necessary for the regeneration of cartilage. So I started to take liquid collagen supplements in the form of ampoules every day that I purchased in a local cosmetics shop. Until now did not experience any noticeable improvement in my joints becoming more resilient so I searched for different options. A clerk at the city pharmacy recommended me some pills with glucosamine that should be more effective and I am looking forward to the effects.

Yesterday I also went to a holistic center called Planet of Health for overall body situation analysis. They are using a special method where at the same time a temperature is measured on the left and right side of your neck, from the left and right armpit and the belly button. After 3 minutes of measurement computer prints 4 pages of data where around 150 parameters are being evaluated. If levels are normal they are colored green, if they are too low, they are blue, and if levels are too high, they are colored red. Then the therapist explains the results in simple terms and makes some questions. The results showed that my blood is pretty good, and that division of my cells is very fact however that I am not digesting and eliminating very well. Also that the temperature in the lower part of my body is too high which also explains the manifestation of lower back pain a couple of weeks ago which is also the reason why I came for a diagnosis. After receiving also some other helpful feedback the therapist recommended starting using some of their products which were cold-pressed oils and high-quality essential oils. I got detailed instructions on how to apply those oils whether by ingesting them pure or mixed with water or rubbing them onto my skin on certain areas. Besides that, I also got extensive nutritional instructions that included a specific vegan diet. Starting today, I am now changing my eating habits to even healthier with the expectation that it will result in me being able to handle physical body strains much better.

However since I realized how the biggest contributing factor to inner imbalance and consequent pain is mind patterns, I am now going to look also into this dimension of my existence. So the general result of the plandemic for me was losing trust in the government even more and thus my willingness to obey laws diminished even further. It is not that I am breaking laws that I see beneficial for public order and safety however I do not have the will to study every single new law and follow it since I even do not possess the capacity to remember them all. Thus I find myself in a position of constant danger that someone would at any time charge me with breaking some law and they would take my money or possessions or put me in jail. As a result, the only effective defense I see is to have as little in my bank account and own as few things as possible. Thus I am here also limiting myself in terms of being able to work commercially so I have to find other ways of covering my needs.