Day 218: Focusing on arboriculture was not a remedy for the pain

After writing my previous blog post, I made a decision that will not be pulled in two directions, hoping that this will also end the pain in the elbow of my right arm. I stopped following certain alternative media that I was subscribed to and made arboriculture my one and only focus. Immediately after making that decision, I felt like the pain diminished significantly, however it did not go away completely, and has persisted with a constant intensity to this day. I also visited two therapists and have received two different manual therapies, however the effects in terms of reduction of pain were almost none. One of my neigbours suggested me to visit a doctor and get the X-rays so that it would be more clear about the phsical state of my elbow and if some other method of assistance would be more effective. I do plan to do that, however, I also wonder if the pain in its core actually is of a resonant origin that requires me to dig deep into my mind and execute some specific self-forgiveness. So will be working on both fronts with the goal to become pain-free as soon as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that by focusing on arbolicuture I am suppresing my potentials of assisting others to become more self-aware. I realize that I am assisting some of my close friends in terms of self-reflection according to my capacity and ability, and that choosing arboriculture as my profession is important for me to stay sufficiently mentally grounded and to at the same time, experience sufficient physical activity. When and as my mind is producing thoughts of doubt about my professional decision, I stop and breathe, since such thoughts are produced only to distract me. I commit myself to staying focused on arboriculture and advancing step by step.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my function in this world as having to save as many people from the illusion of separation instead of realizing that each one has incarnated for a specific reason that I am not aware of, and every person has many different options available to transcend themselves according to their will. I commit myself to the case of desire to save everyone on this world to stop and rather focus on changing myself since there are still a lot of mind patterns within myself that are points of separation and require my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike the fact that I am in the illusion of separation and to wonder if, in relation to my self-realization, I am still be in it or exit it in some way. Because exiting it usually means death in one way or another, eventually due to old age, and I have a premonition that my destiny is being incarnated in this human physical body until age of 130 years. I realize that the game each od us is to play in this separation matrix is mainly to be focused on what is here it this very moment and to accept others as one end equal. Thus, I commit myself to instead of thinking about how to change the matrix to rather focus on being more present in every single moment and wait for the eventual exit as it will be presented to me without me demanding it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tolerate my messy room and to procrastinate with tidying it up due to the belief that this is not a priority and that no one but me is using it. I realize that organizing one's own personal physical space is an equally important part of having an organized life and crutial key for success in all areas of life. I commit myself to tidy up my room and then to constantly maintaining it clean and organized.