12 October 2013

Day 120: Undecided due to unknown future

Several days ago I decided to start a new online project that I expect to become an additional source of income since I would be offering services that anyone can order online from anywhere in the world and I would also deliver the final product electronically. But then I started to wonder if it would be wise to create another project since that would divide my attention ever further. Also there is some competition in the targeted field and I am not sure if it would be worth the effort.

Recently I decided to move to another apartment and I picked preferred region, however moving would again mean a lot of stress and costs. I want to sell the stock of my goods that were left from the online store and I organized an auction but no from the companies that I invited to participate bided yet. So I plan to call them on monday and urge them. Basically I will have to come up with some money in order to organize the move and also to pay some bills.

But what possessed me lately was the urge to find some compatible life partner. So I reengaged in online social and dating sites and started to connect with some people. It would be cool if I would find soon some partner which I could collaborate on the projects with and I already have one date in couple of days. There sure is a possibility that I would connect with someone very quick and maybe also move to her apartment or move together to some new location. So I am opened for any opportunity and am not fixed on moving to any particular location.

Since anything can happen in next several days I am also procrastinating with developing the new project and searching appropriate new place to move to. Also I am waiting for the confirmation of the new legal entity that I filed documents for one week ago. When the papers will be received, I would be able to move very fast in direction of developing current projects. And almost any day I also connect with a new potential business partner globally so the opportunities and potentials are wast.

All this makes me hard to decide which point to prioritize and in which direction to move. I slip into state of mind where I just want to fast forward the time and research the new potentials. However since I can not speed up time, I make myself busy by surfing the web, watching movies, hiking and other stuff. I am aware that I could use the time to do all sorts of useful things, but I am so restless inside that I want to distract myself and just kill the time.

I feel confident that everything will turn out just right and that whatever will happen could be turned around somehow and make something that would enable me to move on towards my goals. I do not allow myself to experience fear or anxiety. I know that I will be able to make it regardless of what will happen. I have always had a lot of ideas and I made good use of them. I know that even if I loose everything, I can simply connect with other people, share my concerns and desires and they will assist me. I have even made peace with the death already so basically nothing is able to frighten me.

Writing all this down, I see that I just needed to sort out my thought and that I am fully capable of moving myself towards my goals. After I finish this post, I will clean the kitchen and work on the new project. Writing really assists and it is cool that I have started to use this tool to support myself.

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