Day 120: Undecided due to unknown future

Several days ago I decided to start a new online project that I expect to become an additional source of income since I would be offering services that anyone can order online from anywhere in the world and I would also deliver the final product electronically. But then I started to wonder if it would be wise to create another project since that would divide my attention ever further. Also there is some competition in the targeted field and I am not sure if it would be worth the effort.

Recently I decided to move to another apartment and I picked preferred region, however moving would again mean a lot of stress and costs. I want to sell the stock of my goods that were left from the online store and I organized an auction but no from the companies that I invited to participate bided yet. So I plan to call them on monday and urge them. Basically I will have to come up with some money in order to organize the move and also to pay some bills.

But what possessed me lately was the urge to find some compatible life partner. So I reengaged in online social and dating sites and started to connect with some people. It would be cool if I would find soon some partner which I could collaborate on the projects with and I already have one date in couple of days. There sure is a possibility that I would connect with someone very quick and maybe also move to her apartment or move together to some new location. So I am opened for any opportunity and am not fixed on moving to any particular location.

Since anything can happen in next several days I am also procrastinating with developing the new project and searching appropriate new place to move to. Also I am waiting for the confirmation of the new legal entity that I filed documents for one week ago. When the papers will be received, I would be able to move very fast in direction of developing current projects. And almost any day I also connect with a new potential business partner globally so the opportunities and potentials are wast.

All this makes me hard to decide which point to prioritize and in which direction to move. I slip into state of mind where I just want to fast forward the time and research the new potentials. However since I can not speed up time, I make myself busy by surfing the web, watching movies, hiking and other stuff. I am aware that I could use the time to do all sorts of useful things, but I am so restless inside that I want to distract myself and just kill the time.

I feel confident that everything will turn out just right and that whatever will happen could be turned around somehow and make something that would enable me to move on towards my goals. I do not allow myself to experience fear or anxiety. I know that I will be able to make it regardless of what will happen. I have always had a lot of ideas and I made good use of them. I know that even if I loose everything, I can simply connect with other people, share my concerns and desires and they will assist me. I have even made peace with the death already so basically nothing is able to frighten me.

Writing all this down, I see that I just needed to sort out my thought and that I am fully capable of moving myself towards my goals. After I finish this post, I will clean the kitchen and work on the new project. Writing really assists and it is cool that I have started to use this tool to support myself.

Day 111: The time is now

Has it really been already 3 days since I wrote my last blog post? Time moves fast! So much to do and such a short day. But I could do it more. I plan each day but plans then change. Some people change their minds, something else comes up, the weather goes bad, there are accidents. And so each day passes with me asking myself what I could do different? How could I make better use of daily potentials?

A good friend today reminded me: There is no one except us. We are the one. We have the possibility to do everything, to do anything. So I think big, make great plans, but they need to be executed step by step, breath by breath. All this brings great responsibility, but also many potentials. Awareness that one can create whatever it imagines and beyond.

Being master of yourself, a self-directive principle, boss of your every single move, this is a big challenge. In a way I wish there to be some others who would make a decisions and then just tell me what to do, however that would also diminish me, make me a slave. I picked the hard way noe, the narrow path, however I can go wherever I want. I am free now, but also responsible for everything I do.

No more excuses are possible, no more blame, no more anger, no more envy. Enemies from outsides have disappeared. Now the only enemy that is left is inside. The mind, the energy, the force that pulls me down, that makes me feel heavy and tired. I could fight it with lighter, brighter positive energy, however this would not be permanent solution. A polarity of positive and negative, of ups and downs is no way to live life. This is no solution.

Thus one can face it only one bite at a time, becoming aware of it, breathing it deeply in and distributing it equally. Yes, this is the answer. Equality is the way. Doing what is best for all, not allowing any more energy to move me. Just moving yourself as the physical. Based on simple decision. Following ones own principle. The principle that is best for all. Braves are the one who pick this path. An agenda of Heaven on Earth. But it can be done.

It can be done if we stand up together. It can be done if we remove all fear and create ultimate trust. It can be done if we all collaborate towards one single goal. And if that goal is best for all, then it is also best for every individual. A simple plan, the only way to solve all the mess in this world once and for all. Fortunately we are now facing time where possibility of reaching this goals is greater than ever. Thanks to technology, we are able to connect, to see big picture, to become aware of what we have done.

There are no more excuses now. All have equal opportunity to understand, to see what are the consequences of our actions. Selfishness can not be tolerated anymore. We are all in this together. We all share the same existence and we all influence each other. There is no more place for the separation, for the illusion that mind has inflicted. We must not be blind anymore, but opened our eyes wide and face it all courageously. So let's do it while there is still time.

2011 - Running out of time for doing all the things that I plan

My experience at Desteni farm while I was staying there was that a day is very long, and I had a lot of time to do many things. Well in fact I was there on holidays, the internet was slow, and I focused on my process and resting. From beginning the days passed slowly, but towards the end, I had perception that days go bye very quickly. And there were a lot of people and animals and a large space to move around.

Now when I returned, I am back in the upper apartment at my father's house, rooms and surrounding area seems so small, I am alone and I have to make decisions, make plans and execute it all by myself. I have here a fast internet, new computer and software, and many things to do. And there is also father who wants me to do designs for his clients occasionally. I constantly do something, a day goes bye so quickly, but I have perception that I have done nothing, that I am not moving anywhere. These are some of many things that I can do:

Daily errands:
- checking and answering new Gmail messages
- checking and answering new FaceBook messages
- checking new Twitter feeds and interesting links
- checking Desteni Slovenia open forum
- checking Desteni open forum
- checking Desteni subscription forum
- checking Desteni private forum
- checking Desteni money forum
- checking Desteni DIP forum
- checking Desteni demons forum
- checking Desteni YouTube channels
- watching, liking, commenting and sharing new Desteni video
- liking Destonian blogs and vlog
- inviting 16 new people to follow my blog
- watching and commenting interesting Destonian blog and vlogs
- writing blogs
- writing backchats
- shooting vlogs
- doing Desteni I Process assignments
- preparing food, eating, washing dishes
- shaving, taking shower
- shitting, pissing
- responding to FaceBook chat request
- commenting on several FaceBook groups
- asking potential people for FaceBook friendship
- BREATHING

Occasional errands:
- participating at Desteni chats twice a week
- washing and ironing laundry once a week
- visiting grandmother once a week
- meeting with new people several times a week
- doing photo and design work for my father
- visiting fairs and lectures

Current errands:
- learning how to use new iMac hardware and OS
- learning how to use new Adobe Creative Suite software
- organizing things from moving into father's apartment
- searching for new apartment in Ljubljana
- informing myself how to best run business in Ljubljana
- translating Equal Money Book
- applying for psychology study
- doing extra White Light mind construct
- developing Desteni accessories business
- dating/searching for partner/agreement/wife
- considering establishing my own farm

Lately I gave priority to research new computer and software, especially video editing software, I like very much sharing new Desteni videos and communicating with my FaceBook friend and sharing relevant Desteni links, I make sure to do all my Desteni I Process assignments, I regularly follow Desteni Subscription forum and watch all unlisted videos, I also started to participate in private chats and do some blogs. But I am short of time for producing vlogs and participating on forums. I feel a bit confused and uncertain due to plan of moving to Ljubljana and starting business and additional study there. I have to decide where to move, to how large apartment, how much do I want to pay, will I be living there alone, or will I be able to find some partner to move in together. Every day I meet new people, additional potentials are created and I have to decide about everything all over again. I want to be as effective as possible, do my process, support others and also support myself financially. So if someone has I magic formula, how to slow down the time, please let me know.
.