That description definitely made sense to me since I have also researched the point about the existence of physical attraction and beauty in the past and produced a vlog in the Slovenian language. So equally to how some have problems with feeling unattractive and struggling to connect with others, some have the opposite challenge due to just the shape of their physical body experiencing too much of attention from others. And I know that it is very common that such women get hit intensely by men who then show to be very jealous and possessive towards them which creates a lot of conflict and pain in a relationship. However, I have never been jealous in regards to my girlfriends and have imagined how I would actually be a good partner for very attractive women since I would treat them as equals, as who they are as a being, seeing them beyond the mask from flesh and bones. Actually, I had experience with some girl that fit this description quite good, we were partners at Kriya Tantra class for two years, we tried to become also life partners but proved that she was extremely emotionally reactive so we parted.
So I was very pleasantly surprised that this blond woman wrote back to me at the dating website and said that based on my profile it seems that I am the only normal man there. We started to communicate firstly via the chat function at the dating website and then soon transitioned to texting via the Viber app. Also there she had a different picture of a woman with blond hair but with a completely blurred face and a profile name of some animal species. She herself even suggested that I am definitely wondering why she has her face blurred and why she is hiding her actual looks however that was in fact not very important for me at that time. For the first couple of days during the week, she was quite busy with work and had not a lot of time to communicate with me. However, during the weekend, she spent time relaxing at her mountain cottage and we exchanged a lot of information.
It looked very promising at the beginning and I was surprised about her ability her wide perspective about the global events and deep understanding of life. I discovered that not many people with good looks develop into intellectuals since their physical attraction is what they mostly use to get what they want in their lives. Thus I enjoyed very much communicating with this blond woman and sharing a lot of supportive information and resources that I stumble upon since I am walking on the path of self-perfection. She said that her father is very into spirituality, aliens, the afterlife and global politics so it made sense that she is also quite open about it. After I asked her if she also has a Facebook profile she said yes, however, that it is also a fake one and used only to check other profiles there.
Eventually, she expressed her thoughts about also started to communicate via the phone or possibly even meeting face to face. However she immediately also said that she fears that after I hear or see her that could change our relationship. Days went by and we still just continued with texting. Soon she again became busy with work and explained how she frequently has to relax by going to a spa or to have a retreat in the mountains. She never expands what she actually does for her business however she did say she is freelancing and managing some business projects that require her to also travel abroad often. That she lived in the USA for some time but then decided to return back to Slovenia. Here she has her own apartment but uses it also as a retreat and never invites any man to spend the night there with her.
Then another woman also contacted me via the dating website and she had some photos which pointed out that she has more courage about showing her face and body. We also started to text firstly there, transitioned to Messanger soon and then we already had our very long voice conversation. I wanted to be open about that and informed the blond girl that I have started to communicate with another girl. Because of my purpose with dating actually is finding a life partner and I am not interested in just chatting for hours and hours with someone who wants to be anonymous. So I asked the blond girl if what she thinks about also ourselves having a phone conversation or meeting live. Surprisingly she soon after that responded that she wants to end communicating with me since I hurt her feelings a day before by suggesting her to see if possibly she has OCD since she also explained how she is disinfecting objects that she uses on a regular basis in order to kill all the bacteria.
That was quite surprising for me since I imagined that based on her level of awareness she would by now know that each of us is responsible for our emotional reactions and accusing others to be the cause of how we feel in the act of projection and self-dishonesty. I wrote her back with my perspective on the situation however the message at this moment still shows as being unread and it seems like she blocked me on Viber. I can just guess what actually influenced her to stop communicating with me. I see that it could be a point of jealousy due to the start of talking to a new girl, her own fears of exposing herself to others, her work-related stress, and she also mentioned how she is looking for a more influential and powerful man and I currently really do not fit that description. I think she was not fit for my desired form of a relationship where partners treat each other as equals and wanted someone different.
Additional related supportive educational audios:
Escaping from the Harshness of Reality into the Beauty of Nature
You are Gorgeous
Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover
War of Women
Appearances Aren't Everything
Warped Self Image
Appearances
The Consciousness of the Peacock
