Day 188: A balance between the inner and outer

This is a reflection on my current experience of myself in relation to recent events in my personal life and news about global events. The biggest points are engagement in online dating, dental issues, legal threats, developing my new business services, visiting the gym, inner transformation process, Coronavirus, U.S. elections, new Slovenian government, and the global money system.

It has been about two weeks since I reengaged in an active online dating. I updated my existing profiles at some of the dating websites and created new profiles at most promising dating sites and apps. It has been a massive investment of my time and also some money to present myself in the best way possible to single women, to browse their profiles and like the ones that I found to be most compatible with me. With some that responded positively, I engaged in extensive online conversations, voice chats and in some cases even traveling and meeting them live. The process of weeding out all the fake scamming and phishing profiles has been quite frustrating and the percentage of those who actually responded was very low. In the chats with those that responded I learned many new things and had to make decisions in regards to the level of compatibility and predictions how my life in a long-term relationship with them would influence me personally and business-wise. And mostly I have been wondering about my motivation and expectations about wanting to be in a relationship in the first place or do I actually need to be in a relationship to achieve the effects that I expect from being in a relationship with someone else. For example how much would someone else contribute to me becoming more motivated in doing something and suggesting to me what to do in order to compensate my indecisiveness as a typical Libra? And to what level is dating possibly for the most part just a distraction from empowering myself on my own and becoming able to function without the need of being directed and approved by someone outside of myself?

The tooth pain and a visit to the dentist made me think about my current dental state, the future of losing even more teeth by getting older and the general role of the teeth for practical processing of the food and the social acceptance while smiling and thus displaying own teeth to others. For example, even though dating the feedback of the girls showed how much value they give to an outer presentation, including how the teeth look. And that also created concern about the relationship dynamic if the situation of my teeth would worsen a lot. Then I wondered about the national medical insurance, how our dental system works and the long waiting periods or high costs of dental appointments if deciding to pay it all by myself and the option to travel to Croatia where they have better dental equipment and much lower prices. I even considered if I could apply any of the other dental options that I heard about like stell cell implants for the extracted teeth to regrow or to initiate the process of growing the complete new set of teeth like some were able to achieve when transitioned to breatharianism. Or how the new plasma science that the Keshe Foundation has been developing has a similar potential of directly providing the necessary energy that we extract by eating food and thus we would not any longer have the need to use the teeth for food crushing and consequently they would stay in perfect condition.

Some level of anxiety that I experienced in the past couple of years was also due to legal threats and discovering how the global system of money, religion, law, and enforcement works. Like how the birth certificates are being used to create fictions, value for the banking system, a life of bondage by the assumption of consent and expanding the monarchistic dictatorship of the Roman Catholic Church all over the globe by creating wars and killing millions of people. And how each one of us has the power of claiming own life by taking similar procedure that has been almost literally exposed in the Jupiter Ascending moving and transitioning from using national languages that have been deliberately corrupted into babble into using the Correct-Sentance-Structure-Communication-Parse-Syntax-Grammar-Performance. I was glad to see that withing the current U.S. elections presidential candidate Andrew Yang talked so much about the importance of transitioning from the current system of consumerism, perpetual growth, and debt into making the quality of life as the primary objective by providing Unconditional Basic Income in form of a Freedom Dividend and finally enjoying the fruits of all kind of automation, robots and artificial intelligence that we have developed. Even the leader of the new Slovenian government has expressed plans to move in this direction and supposedly the global news obsession about the New Human Coronavirus, fake or not, could be the additional motivation or just a public distraction in order for the new global financial system to be implemented that would finally free the humanity.

With the development of computers and the internet, we are increasingly becoming connected and able to share information with anyone all over the globe in a matter of milliseconds. However, digitalization also presents the challenge of creating illusions and fake news so one needs to be very cautious about everything that is online. It is all a reflection of our own mind where we equally create parallel virtual worlds in our imagination where we hide and pretend and think that our actions there has no consequence. That can be addictive and if we apply the same principle also in this physical world that we all share, the result is the destruction of our life sources that has become more and more evident. Since what we can see out there is merely a reflection of what is within us, it is best for all to walk the path towards manifesting a Virus Free Mind. So while we can all satisfy our curiosity about what is going on in this world it is best to stay balanced and spend at least equal time walking the process of self-reflection, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and self-commitments with the support of online courses like the completely free DIP Lite course with experienced live buddies. And while we can not change the basic structure of our physical body and all of its characteristics that we inherited, we still can improve it by selecting a diet that would best support our physical body and exercising in order to stay fit the best way possible. Thus I also have improved my eating habits and increased the frequency and visiting the gym in order to make the best of all the potentials that I have within all the limitations that are beyond my power of conscious influence.

The field in my life that needs more movement has remained my business activities. It is interesting how I become excited about something like becoming a Certified Life Coach and imagining how offering such services would best fit my lifestyle and would support others the most and they observed how things are not moving as fast as I hoped to. There is a question of how actually I am influencing this world by my current activities and if there are actually positive consequences that I am not even aware of. Like is it more effective to be politically active out there, is talking and assisting others face to face personally or in group formation more important, should I blog and vlog more, especially in the English language, or is my inner process of transforming my own mind patterns the most important since it resonates on a subtle level and creates a ripple effect on all levels of existence? Well so far I am moving slowly but steadily in all those areas and I just wish that it will create a synergetic accumulative effect that would result in a better world for all as soon as possible. I definitely feel resistances in the form of physical tiredness and it is not easy to identify what portion of it is simply muscle tiredness from lifting weights at the gym, how much of it is the mental tiredness due to absorbing and processing an incredible amount of information on a daily basis, to what extend my awareness is just becoming more integrated with my physical body that is under influence of planetary gravitational force, how much the two teeth with root canals in my mouth contribute to the feeling of lack of energy, does the electromagnetic fields from all the cell towers, wifi networks, and other possible influences play I significant role in how I currently feel, and what am I able to do to feel more light, energized and productive. Anyway, I simply do my best in every single moment and make sure that I remain emotionally stable as much as possible within the realization that we are all in this together, that we are all one and that if I keep such awareness, I will be just fine no matter what happens.

Suggested related supportive educational audios:
Balance
Creating Balance in Change
The Balance in Support
The Good Times & the Bad
In Balance with your Body
Creating Balance while Changing Yourself
The Trinity of Dependence, Independence and Interdependence
Over Disciplined and Overindulging
Me Time and We Time
When You Change & When You Don't
Split into Two Worlds
Insecurity-Confidence Polarity
My Intelligence is my Only Friend
Mind-Made Choices

Day 164: Fear due to increased public exposure

Recently I have become a candidate for Slovenian parliament on behalf of one of the new political parties. The president of the party sent me a friendship request after I liked their Facebook page. Soon after that, we had a personal meeting at my home where he invited me to become their candidate and represent their agenda in the parliament possibly or even become a minister. I definitely am interested in politics since I want to make this world the best place for all. In the recent years, I joined one of the newest political parties in Slovenia, however, there was no real movement. My friends and I even attempted to establish our own political party, however, we lacked the motivation and resources to even gather 100 signatures of supporters to register it. I did not research much in detail how the political system in our country works and I have never imagined becoming a member of parliament. I wonder if I have what it takes to be in such demanding, responsible and exposed position. And I sense how a kind of subconscious fear started to creep in due to the potential of being scrutinized by public media.

The political party that I started to represent has a very advanced program and not a lot of people resonate with what it stands for. It consists of members that show by their own example how it is possible to change and how to live a healthy and sustainable lifestyle. Established political parties have a lot of control over public media and use it as a tool to diminish any new party that starts to compete with them. So the strategy of our party is to address that 60% of the population that do not attend elections since none of the programs of existing parties is attractive enough to them. And we are also instructed not to criticise anything from the past or other political parties. The plan is to connect with local organic stores, Yoga societies, and similar organizations who are able to fully resonate with our program and will definitely vote for what we stand for. We are also the only party that is equally represented in terms of sex since we have one female and one male president and one female and one male vice-president.

Our party so far has participated only in one public confrontation which was hosted by our national TV station. Presidents of all political parties in Slovenia were assembled in the studio and given just a couple of dozen seconds to answer questions of the hosts. Our male president was also there and was given a visibly shorter written review of his speech than presidents of other parties. Three days ago we had the first party meeting in the middle of capital city forest park where all the candidates for the parliament were presented and the event was covered by the national TV. I found out that our female president was during this event quite in shock because she had an interview where one of the reporters asked her a question about the party where the program of the party was diminished and made fun of. That made me think how well I would respond if being in the same position since I definitely do not want to be laughed at or made fun of by public media.

In past decades I went through a radical personal transformation from a very shy unsocialized introvert who could barely speak and feared criticism into an outspoken blogger and vlogger who mastered many fears and is willing to expand even more. Despite producing over 500 vlogs in the past 3 years I have been noticed by media only several months ago and invited to 3 interviews at one of the Slovenian commercial TV stations. However, I was able to speak even about the most advanced esoteric knowledge which surprised even myself. Of course, at those interviews I have been speaking about that I was an expert at and was not expected to memorize a lot of specific information. However, as the politician, I assume that I would be expected to learn many historical data about our country and to know the constitution, country and international laws by heart. And memorizing a lot of exact data is not what I am very fun of. Also until now I have studied politics more from a global and secret esoteric perspective and did not follow local political happenings very much.

So now I will be facing some of the subconscious and mind patterns that can trigger reactions of fear using tools learned at the Desteni I Process online courses:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being taken seriously when interviewed by public media. I realize that when one is becoming more of a public figure media will want to know more about them in order to satisfy the curiosity of the masses. However, even such influential people as the president of USA is being ridiculed by even most popular comedy shows and yet he proves how it is possible any opinion from whoever not to be taken personally. Thus I commit myself when someone, especially a reporter of the most influential media is interviewing me and my mind is producing thought like: “It is inappropriate to ask me any disrespectful questions in the attempt to trigger an emotional reaction in me.” to stop and breathe. In such cases I stay true to myself, speak openly based on the principle of equality and what is best for all and not care what others think about me since most are their projections of own limiting mind patterns, limitations, and separations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that becoming member of parliament is a function that I will not be able to handle due to current lack of knowledge of national legislation and international politics. I realize that whatever challenge I have faced so far, I proved to myself that I am capable of acquiring necessary knowledge and skills in order to perform my function with great excellence. And above all, I have been in the past years developing a strong integrity which is the most important quality in a political position so I definitely have something to offer. Thus I commit myself to when and as I think about becoming a politician and my mind is producing thought like: “You have little experience in politics and you are definitely incapable to know or learn what it takes to be part of a parliament!” to stop and breathe. I then rather start to study parts of the legislation and the current political situation with my own pace and prepare myself in the best way possible to be as ready for my job as I am capable of.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried what my father will think about me and that he will be ashamed of me if I go into politics and then make some mistake that will be blown out of proportions by media. I realize that while my father still wrongly considers me an extension of him and wants to be proud of me, it is his responsibility to face his lack of self-confidence and projections of his inferiority onto me. Thus when and as I am facing to be portrayed by public media as a loser and my mind produces thoughts like: “Oh no, what will my father think of me!” to stop and breathe. Then within awareness that parents are the one that instills the most limitations into their children, I disregard my family relationships based on self-interest and act from the starting point of what is best for all life in the long term. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a serious person that has to be addressed with all the respect, especially when I am in a role of a politician on highest position. I realize that better than respect based on the position it is far more sustainable to earn the respect of others by your own deeds and action that are best for all. Thus when and as I am in conversation with someone and my mind starts to produce thoughts like: “They better respect me and talk to me according to my formal position or I will show them how nasty I can be!” to stop and breathe. I then rather communicate with anyone with consideration of their own state of mind and within the realization that we will all die and leave our bodies and physical possessions behind. The only thing that will count is how much we have made progress in facing limitations of our own mind, how much we have transcended our self-interest and what is the long-term outflow of our actions on other living beings while we were making decisions in this physical realm.

For all who are in a political position or are planning to enter the politics but have fears, I recommend to take the free online course DIP Lite and listen to many supportive audios from Eqafe related to politics especially the one titled What Your Mind Doesn't Want You to Know About Fear of Authority.