Day 191: I can no longer count on my father helping me

The new measures that I implemented in recent weeks, as described in my previous blog post, assisted me in calming down my heart area. Since I stopped spending many hours online following coronavirus related to mainstream and alternative news and long videos about all the possible background happenings, my mental state became sufficiently stable. I now have a routine of checking emails and social media messages only twice per day and I read national media news articles once per day, just to be properly informed about the economic and social changes in our country. I do daily planning of my activities and then I execute them one after another without any deviation. That assisted me in becoming very motivated to wake up in the morning, knowing that I have enough work for more than the whole day. And I get satisfaction from ticking off the tasks that I completed and reviewing the list of all completed daily achievements before I go to sleep. However, I noticed also one relapse that I see connected to a fear point due to some other new situation.

That new situation is the realization that my father is currently not able to assist me financially wise. In the last several years, I have been with approximately constant quantity doing some graphic design and administrative work every single month. And usually, he has been paying me for my executed work pretty regularly every single month. In February 2020 I worked especially a lot for him and I have been looking forward to the earned money. However, that is also the months when our government started to implement the lockdown and his clients did not pay him for the services that he charged. Consequently the following month he was not able to pay me. However, I then also assisted him by preparing the application for the extended financial limit on his bank account. I assumed that he will also pay for what he owns me when the bank will grant him the limit. So I waited and waited and then I called him to check the state of the application. I was quite shocked to hear from him that the bank approved the limit however he already spent all the money on his personal needs like extending the registration of the car and similar.

My father liked to play the character of a savior and has effectively assisted me a couple of times when I was in financial troubles. He is very ingenious and innovative however it looks that the current situation was also too much for him to handle since it is a massive global event that changed the situation in basically all the people on this planet. I often considered how I am relying on him saving me every time I am in trouble and how I also still was playing the polarity character of a victim just to keep some relationship with him as my father. And I often wished for some event to happen so that I could have a good reason to break this attachment to him and become more self-reliant. And now it seems that this global shutdown is exactly what I wished for and I actually am now very focused on developing my own Life Coaching business services that should generate sufficient source of income for me in order not to have to rely on my father anymore.

So I had been pushing my business point forward however I do not find it so easy. The most challenging point for me currently is getting clients. I have been studying any ways of how to get them and have invested many days of researching and testing methods and apps for booking and customer relationship management. I have thousand of contact in my address book, thousand of Facebook friends, and thousands of LinkedIn connections that I am able to use to get for marketing. The challenge is how to merge all the contacts to have a complete overview of all my previous communication with any of my contacts and how to systematically follow-up with each of them without anyone falling out of the sales funnel and to avoid any embarrassment due to forgetting any of my past communication with any of them. So far I could not find and CRM that is able to amalgamate all these sources of information and it seems that I will have to develop some kind of CRM system on my own. And then there are all sorts of decisions I have to make like assessing who would be most prospective contacts and to sort them for the purpose of sequential drill-down.

But the most disturbing thing for me currently is that I have not been able to pay for my rent for the past two months. The rent is being collected in cash by the son of the landlord that also lives in my apartment building. I am meeting him several times per month since he often works in his shed fixing his bikes and experimenting with housing construction using natural materials. Last month when I was not able to pay for the rent the son of the landlord expressed quite a lot of anger about being late with the rent because his father also urgently needed money. I felt very uncomfortable because of that and went into fear. I asked for government support in regards to the rent and I was approved however only for one month and I expect to get the money only the next month. So when the son of the landlord called me if he can visit me to collect the rent for this month I again went in fear about him becoming angry again. Luckily he comprehended the situation and he also showed no signs of resentment while I have been meeting him at the backyard where he has been doing extensive cleaning of the clutter from the attic.

The relapse that is probably connected with all this additional fear of survival manifested as problems with skin cracks between my toes, especially on my right foot. It seems that the circulation and energy flow through my legs again decreased to an insufficient level. I took care to walk a lot barefoot through each day and I even started to do barefoot hiking to the nearby mountain each weekend however it looks like that was not enough. So I decided for additional support in the form of toe socks which I already wore in the past. I ordered a dozen of such cheap socks from China and a couple of more expensive socks from local online stores that would get me through until the overseas shipment arrives. It is not a permanent solution however toe socks effectively prevent shin of the toes to press on each other the moisture between toes to accumulate there. I figured out that my week leg circulation is mostly genetic due to inherited fear patterns from my father. And my job has been mostly related to working with a desktop computer in a sitting position on a chair or with a laptop computer in a lotus sitting position on my bed with my legs crossed. So I do generally do a lot of mental intellectual work where my legs are still and I can not move them a lot. However, I have a plan for my Life Coaching services to be executed also in a standing position or while I walk around my office or even at the nearby path along the bank of Drava river.

I just heard today that the lockdown is slowly being lifter in our country. From today we are able to freely travel to other municipalities without going through the checkpoints with a special permit on their borders and also libraries and schools will start to open gradually with the beginning of the next week. Hopefully, also other businesses will start to be opened again and the financial transfers will get back to normal soon. I heard some predictions that the global economic situation will become even worse due to plans to completely collapse the current fiat financial system in order to then implement a completely new one that will be much better for all being on this planet. So let's see what will actually happen.

And here are some related suggested supportive audios from the Eqafe webstore with basically Every Question Answered For Everyone:

Why Fear Feels Different to Different People
Money Fears
Why we create Fear instead of Solutions
The Design of Fear of Loss
In Fear of the Future
Adaptation and Survival
Internal & External Process

Day 188: A balance between the inner and outer

This is a reflection on my current experience of myself in relation to recent events in my personal life and news about global events. The biggest points are engagement in online dating, dental issues, legal threats, developing my new business services, visiting the gym, inner transformation process, Coronavirus, U.S. elections, new Slovenian government, and the global money system.

It has been about two weeks since I reengaged in an active online dating. I updated my existing profiles at some of the dating websites and created new profiles at most promising dating sites and apps. It has been a massive investment of my time and also some money to present myself in the best way possible to single women, to browse their profiles and like the ones that I found to be most compatible with me. With some that responded positively, I engaged in extensive online conversations, voice chats and in some cases even traveling and meeting them live. The process of weeding out all the fake scamming and phishing profiles has been quite frustrating and the percentage of those who actually responded was very low. In the chats with those that responded I learned many new things and had to make decisions in regards to the level of compatibility and predictions how my life in a long-term relationship with them would influence me personally and business-wise. And mostly I have been wondering about my motivation and expectations about wanting to be in a relationship in the first place or do I actually need to be in a relationship to achieve the effects that I expect from being in a relationship with someone else. For example how much would someone else contribute to me becoming more motivated in doing something and suggesting to me what to do in order to compensate my indecisiveness as a typical Libra? And to what level is dating possibly for the most part just a distraction from empowering myself on my own and becoming able to function without the need of being directed and approved by someone outside of myself?

The tooth pain and a visit to the dentist made me think about my current dental state, the future of losing even more teeth by getting older and the general role of the teeth for practical processing of the food and the social acceptance while smiling and thus displaying own teeth to others. For example, even though dating the feedback of the girls showed how much value they give to an outer presentation, including how the teeth look. And that also created concern about the relationship dynamic if the situation of my teeth would worsen a lot. Then I wondered about the national medical insurance, how our dental system works and the long waiting periods or high costs of dental appointments if deciding to pay it all by myself and the option to travel to Croatia where they have better dental equipment and much lower prices. I even considered if I could apply any of the other dental options that I heard about like stell cell implants for the extracted teeth to regrow or to initiate the process of growing the complete new set of teeth like some were able to achieve when transitioned to breatharianism. Or how the new plasma science that the Keshe Foundation has been developing has a similar potential of directly providing the necessary energy that we extract by eating food and thus we would not any longer have the need to use the teeth for food crushing and consequently they would stay in perfect condition.

Some level of anxiety that I experienced in the past couple of years was also due to legal threats and discovering how the global system of money, religion, law, and enforcement works. Like how the birth certificates are being used to create fictions, value for the banking system, a life of bondage by the assumption of consent and expanding the monarchistic dictatorship of the Roman Catholic Church all over the globe by creating wars and killing millions of people. And how each one of us has the power of claiming own life by taking similar procedure that has been almost literally exposed in the Jupiter Ascending moving and transitioning from using national languages that have been deliberately corrupted into babble into using the Correct-Sentance-Structure-Communication-Parse-Syntax-Grammar-Performance. I was glad to see that withing the current U.S. elections presidential candidate Andrew Yang talked so much about the importance of transitioning from the current system of consumerism, perpetual growth, and debt into making the quality of life as the primary objective by providing Unconditional Basic Income in form of a Freedom Dividend and finally enjoying the fruits of all kind of automation, robots and artificial intelligence that we have developed. Even the leader of the new Slovenian government has expressed plans to move in this direction and supposedly the global news obsession about the New Human Coronavirus, fake or not, could be the additional motivation or just a public distraction in order for the new global financial system to be implemented that would finally free the humanity.

With the development of computers and the internet, we are increasingly becoming connected and able to share information with anyone all over the globe in a matter of milliseconds. However, digitalization also presents the challenge of creating illusions and fake news so one needs to be very cautious about everything that is online. It is all a reflection of our own mind where we equally create parallel virtual worlds in our imagination where we hide and pretend and think that our actions there has no consequence. That can be addictive and if we apply the same principle also in this physical world that we all share, the result is the destruction of our life sources that has become more and more evident. Since what we can see out there is merely a reflection of what is within us, it is best for all to walk the path towards manifesting a Virus Free Mind. So while we can all satisfy our curiosity about what is going on in this world it is best to stay balanced and spend at least equal time walking the process of self-reflection, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and self-commitments with the support of online courses like the completely free DIP Lite course with experienced live buddies. And while we can not change the basic structure of our physical body and all of its characteristics that we inherited, we still can improve it by selecting a diet that would best support our physical body and exercising in order to stay fit the best way possible. Thus I also have improved my eating habits and increased the frequency and visiting the gym in order to make the best of all the potentials that I have within all the limitations that are beyond my power of conscious influence.

The field in my life that needs more movement has remained my business activities. It is interesting how I become excited about something like becoming a Certified Life Coach and imagining how offering such services would best fit my lifestyle and would support others the most and they observed how things are not moving as fast as I hoped to. There is a question of how actually I am influencing this world by my current activities and if there are actually positive consequences that I am not even aware of. Like is it more effective to be politically active out there, is talking and assisting others face to face personally or in group formation more important, should I blog and vlog more, especially in the English language, or is my inner process of transforming my own mind patterns the most important since it resonates on a subtle level and creates a ripple effect on all levels of existence? Well so far I am moving slowly but steadily in all those areas and I just wish that it will create a synergetic accumulative effect that would result in a better world for all as soon as possible. I definitely feel resistances in the form of physical tiredness and it is not easy to identify what portion of it is simply muscle tiredness from lifting weights at the gym, how much of it is the mental tiredness due to absorbing and processing an incredible amount of information on a daily basis, to what extend my awareness is just becoming more integrated with my physical body that is under influence of planetary gravitational force, how much the two teeth with root canals in my mouth contribute to the feeling of lack of energy, does the electromagnetic fields from all the cell towers, wifi networks, and other possible influences play I significant role in how I currently feel, and what am I able to do to feel more light, energized and productive. Anyway, I simply do my best in every single moment and make sure that I remain emotionally stable as much as possible within the realization that we are all in this together, that we are all one and that if I keep such awareness, I will be just fine no matter what happens.

Suggested related supportive educational audios:
Balance
Creating Balance in Change
The Balance in Support
The Good Times & the Bad
In Balance with your Body
Creating Balance while Changing Yourself
The Trinity of Dependence, Independence and Interdependence
Over Disciplined and Overindulging
Me Time and We Time
When You Change & When You Don't
Split into Two Worlds
Insecurity-Confidence Polarity
My Intelligence is my Only Friend
Mind-Made Choices

Day 152: My relationship with money

For the last 4 years I have been living on the public social support money and have been making some additional income by working for my father. However this does not mean that I have become lazy. I have been actually very busy for 3 years doing the sales activity for overpriced learning software that no one was able to afford and then I engaged for 1 year in promoting a new digital currency where I did earn a lot of money however it has not yet become convertible despite the initial speculations that it will become liquid asset by the end of 2016. Now I am thinking about what to do because I am tired of doing businesses that other control and where promises of earning do not come true.

My relationship with money started of course when I was a child and parents would firstly start to give me pocket money. After I finished the middle school, I became employee of my father who started to develop our family business. However initially I did not receive any direct salary but had to ask my parents to buy me what I needed. It was only after I met my first girlfriend and moved out of my parents' house when I enforced my salary to be payed directly to me. After I broke off with my girlfriend, I started to work as a sole proprietor and a freelancer where I earned more than enough for my needs. However I never decided to create a big business and employ many people due to different reasons.

One thing was that I cherished the freedom of working alone where I could take brakes whenever I wanted and spend a lot of my free time for personal growth. I also was not exposed to environment where I could learn from others how to manage big business and many employees. And I have been influenced my father who also preferred to work alone and had ideology to earn only just enough to be debt-free and disregard situations of those who are not part of our family. In recent years I have also studied extensively how money is actually made in our society where firstly precious metals and stones were used as main means of exchange, then gold-backed currencies were introduced to global economy and where now we are using fiat currency that is created out of thin air and are not backed by any real assets. Not only that, but currencies like Dollar and Euro are debt-base and have been designed specifically to create inequality, scarcity and economic slavery. And some explain that even Euro that is used in our country is not a currency but technically a United States Military Script and legally when used one actually engages in a act of war.

So I have been lately torn between promoting the Spurt new debt-free asset-backed currency that has a stable nominal value but almost none practical usability and using Euro debt-based fiat currency without any backing where I would wage war agains others by using it. But this is not the only problem, because even when considering the benefits of many new digital crypto and non-crypto currencies, there is still a challenge of defining a value to any resource, product and service. Because in recent era humanity has been given highest value only to rare inanimate objects like gold and diamonds where life had none value at all and many beings have been killed for the sake of making profit. This is also why I am a strong supporter of the Equal Money System where life has the highest value and a dignified living conditions for all form of life are the top priority.

Money has in many ways been used as form of enslavement however I am happy to see that massive change is happening on a global scale where many global leaders have decided to provide prosperity to the whole humanity and do not want any more wars. Malicious members of global elite have been neutered and their secret undergrounds blown up. Chinese Red Dragon Family are distributing their massive stocks of gold around the world for the currency to become backed by assets again. Thus global currency revaluation and reset is on the way. Some say that despite that the popping of global financial bubble will not be able to be prevented and that we are to prepare ourselves for the time of big turbulence. And with potentials of the new plasma technology developed by Keshe Foundation abundance of electricity, any chemical element, physical body regeneration and space travel potentials beyond human imagination are being made available to all.  

With enormous amount of information accessible over the internet and increasing number of opportunities, it has been a great challenge for me what path to choose. Learning about the new ways of removing any attachment to physicality and becoming emotionally non-reactive by using Keshe box in order to be able to travel space and aligning our physical body to every galactic environment had stirred my imagination. However each of those now discoveries is constantly being developed and there is large amount of information being produced on a daily basis that would require lot of time to digest and integrate. And the problem is also that lot of information is deliberately deceptive and so one can become quickly frustrated by conflicting claims. So in order to prevent going insane, one has no other option but to limit their field of study and operation and also use common sense to filter fake news.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to stop engaging in commercial activities in order to be payed in Euro currency due to learning that Euro is a military script and using it is an act of war. Thus since I want to be in peace and have also signed the Keshe World Peace Treaty I wanted to keep using Euro to the minimum and mostly use only a peaceful currencies like Spurt. I realise that even though using Euro is legally an act of war, it is still the main financial mean of exchange that most people in my and surrounding countries accept without any objection and that it would take enormous amount of time and resources before Spurt will become significantly recognisable in order to stop using Euro completely. I commit myself to when and as I want to earn Euros and my mind is producing thoughts like: “Do not accept Euro or else you will be waging war against others!” to stop end breathe. I then allow myself to accept Euros and understand the current imperfect reality in this world and the fact that we must firstly stop the war within us that we are waging war agains self and others by using energetic weapons of our feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become distracted by all sorts of new information that I stumble upon when participating on Facebook and other web sites. I realise that while it is important to be open-minded and to understand the full picture of how this existence works, by trying to understand and control what is going on outside of myself, I will not be able to keep a sane mind. I commit myself to when and as I stumble upon a new fantastic discovery and my mind goes like: “You must research this in depth since this source might completely change your life and free you from all the misery that you experience currently!” to stop and breathe. I then check the new discovery only to the level of becoming aware of its existence and continue to discover what is within me since everything out there exists only as the manifested consequence of what I allow and accept to be within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for some tool outside of me like the Keshe Plasma Emotion Box that would assist me in changing myself faster. I realise that my human physical body already is The Box that reflects my emotions and feelings by pain and other sensations that I can experience and that it is everything that I actually need to change myself. When and as I hear about some scientific discovery that is promising for the man to understand the mind and I notice thought like: “You must research this since there must be a faster and more effective method that writing!” to stop and breathe. I then rather use the proven Desteni tools of introspection and become self-reliant within the process of looking within me and transforming myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of creating a big business and having to provide enough monthly income to pay the salaries because I see that global economic situation is very unstable. I realise that one can not know how the business situation will actually develop in real world situation and that all predictions are nothing but creation of my imagination. When and as I decide to employ any people and my mind is producing thoughts like: “Do not employ anybody since if there will not be enough income to pay for the salaries, they will tear you apart from anger!” to stop and breathe. I then with realisation that hiring and firing people is a natural process of every big business take on board additional help and let them go if necessary without hard feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that by creating an organisation with many employees I will loose my freedom and become overwhelmed with trying to manage the business. I realise that there are many owners of companies that employ hundreds of thousands of people however they still manage to organise their life the way they want. I commit myself to when and as I think about creating a large organisation and my mind goes like: “Are you totally crazy, this would be an act of suicide!” to stop and breathe. I then plan to grow my business step by step and distribute all the tasks among the employees so that I can direct the projects with a peaceful mind. 

In relation to this blog post, I invite you to assist also yourself with awesome self-perfecting tools within free online DIP Lite course and to listen to educational audio titled Freeing your Mind from Money from The Soul of Money series at Eqafe web store with hundreds of extremely supportive educational items that hold answers to any imaginable question about life and this existence.

Day 133: Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Couple of years ago I discovered recordings of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares television series. The main star is a chef Gordon Ramsay and the mission is to within one week convert a failing restaurant into a successful business. I become inspired about Gordon since he does not fear to say what he has noticed to be the cause of the unsuccessful business. He is fair about his observations, does not prejudge, listens firstly carefully, does detailed research, observes and communicates and then only faces the troublemakers with the facts. In order to get to the person, he is not afraid of speaking loudly, shouting and using the F word. His approach proved to be very successful so he became a sort of a role model to me. It reminds me on Bernard Poolman who also supported people effectively by using very loud and direct voice if necessary.

Lately I started to watch Gordon's TV series again and discovered his additional series. In order to research what contributed to development of his intense character, I found out by reading Gordon Ramsay's Wikipedia page that he had a violent alcoholic father, they moved a lot and his initial football career was full of injuries and disappointments. Gordon's face also looks swollen and capable of receiving strong punches. While in his shows he assisted many people, his cooking perfectionism and short temper are quite concerning. I enjoy watching his shows however they seem to me over dramatized and do not show all the important life perspectives in order to gain full awareness about how this world system actually operates.

What I learned from Gordon and Bernard is that standing up and facing others with their bullshit is very important to achieve a personal transformation. I have for too long been afraid of speaking up due to having a father with a short temper that resulted in me developing as introverted person. So it is time for me to step up and take charge of my life. Only if I develop fearlessness I will be able to assist others. However I realized that supporting others in such intense way can not be faked. One needs to developed a high level of self-honesty in order not to pre-judge others and support them as one and equal. And what is the most important is to teach by your own example.

However what I miss at Gordon's approach is hiding the bigger picture. For example in his shows he analyzes and fixes failed restaurants and hotel in just several days. The breaking point is when his design team magically refurbishes the interior of the business over night into a fresh and appealing space. However they do not explain the details about where does the money come from, how come that architectural transformation can be done is such quick time and if the business owners are then bound to pay for the renovation. So this is generally the problem with the public display where only the shocking details are exposed and then how mystically one hero is turning the situation around like he is a sort of god or magician.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to investigate what is behind the scenes of every situation that I face in my life. I realize that thinks do not just magically function and that there are many dimensions involved in order for some structure to exist and operates. When and as I observe some organization and my mind starts to produce thoughts that things in this world are just he way they are and that is is not for me to mess with them, I stop and breathe. I commit myself to become a detective of life and to investigate every detail about how this existence works in order to gain full perspective and awareness that will enable me to be effective in making this world the best place for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in watching TV series where the shows are specifically edited in a way to create emotions and to present only several perspectives of the situation in order to not question the current global system. I realize that reality is much more complex and that if I am to live in this world effectively, I have to know as many details as possible. When and as want to relax and my mind would invite me to watch some entertaining TV show, I stop such thoughts and breathe. Instead I rather get a book that would expand my awareness, like autobiography of a person that I admire in order to become familiar with all the timeline that resulted into creation of a particular character.