Day 139: Solution for perpetually cold feet

For those who have perpetual cold feet and legs like me and have discovered this blog let me firstly explain what kind of remedy I am going to talk about. It has been proven that our minds plays a major role in creating medical conditions and that our thinking patterns are in most cases also the cause for cool feet and legs. To understand why is that and to get a broader context, I invite you to firstly read my first two related blog posts titled The cause for cold legs and Home remedy for cold feet. After cross-referencing my writing in the latter blog post with the New Kinesiology practitioner who is also my Desteni I Process life skills and self-mastery online course buddy, I will be in this blog post walking deeper dimension of my past experience that contributed to manifestation of my cold legs that she pointed out. While in the previous post I released all emotional attachments to traumatic childhood events where I was painfully punished by my father, I will be in this post deconstructing the other part of the consequence where I have created a specific self-definition and self judgement in order to punish myself.

So in the previous blog post I explained, how the result of my father punishing me using painful methods was my reaction with anger and resentment as immediate response. However the other long-term consequence was creation of prevention and avoidance mechanism in order to protect myself from experiencing pain again in the future. Parents usually do not take time and patience to openly and clearly communicate with their children, often due to their believe that children will not be able to understand the explanation. They mostly use only orders and commands and justify them as they are the the parents and authority. This results is suppression within the child and creation of coping and survival mechanism. In relation to my parents punishing me without me fully understanding why, I also developed a character of being an obedient servant or a slave that immediately does exactly what other say without any objection.

I have lost my power as a men and have in a sense been castrated and turned into eunuch. I have become a policeman where in my head I would constantly hear voices of my father that police and criticise all of my actions. I have started to suppress myself; my expression, wants and desires and began to look only about how I can please others, especially my father. I have lost my voice and became quiet introverted person that is not able to be heard by others. I have lost my footing and grounding, that literally manifested as my cold feet, showing me that I have no capacity to stand and have thus been constantly falling when attempting to achieve anything in my life. This also explains my vision during first hypnotic regression session into past life where I found myself in a female body, recently raped by violent invading viking and I have then allowed myself to be publicly lynched by hanging due to being labeled as impure without ever taking an opportunity to say a single word in my defence. With use of specific tools as anyone can learn to use them by enrolling into free online course DIP Lite, I am now going to release this construct of self-suppression:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to being punished by my father by developing a introverted personality where I would stop trying to voice myself in order to protect my integrity and capacity. I realise that while as I child I had much less physical power and limited vocabulary to express myself, I am now a gown man with ability to voice myself and fully communicate with others. I commit myself to when and as I feel that I have been misunderstood by others and my mind starts to produce thoughts like: “Better not say anything that would anger them since this will only make situation worse!” or “There is no point is saying anything since they are not be able to understand me.“ to stop and breathe. In situations where others wrongly accuse me, I am taking power back by clearly, directly and strongly stand my ground and defend what I feel is true and right. I am no more protecting my outer character of being a nice person while my true inner being is being diminished more and more. I say till here no further, I am drawing the line and no one is ever again allowed to infiltrate my personal space.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to parts of my father enter my mind where he has started to police, criticise and control every of my action with thoughts or voices in my head that prevent my full and unlimited expression. I realise that by allowing and accepting such viruses in my mind, I have become mentally sick and thus incapable of reaching my true potential. I commit myself to when and as I live my daily life and my mind is coming out with thoughts like: “Are you sure that you are doing it right? What about if you are wrong? What will the others think about you?” to immediately stop such thoughts by focusing on my breath. Instead of being directed by automatic voices in my head, I rather for a measure of what I should do and what not use the principle of what is best for all with consideration of all beings being one and equal as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear criticism of others, thinking that if others will not like me, I will not be able to survive in this world. I realise that while such might be true in my first several years after my birth where I actually my sole survival was completely dependant on my parents, I have slowly grown into a boy that is able to find food, shelter and whatever needed to survive in this world. I commit myself to when and as others have something to say about me to listen, hear and see if what they are saying is an actual fact and a precious feedback about my past actions or is it their own mind projection, based on their own accepted and allowed limitations, lies and believes that have nothing in common with the truth as universal physical reality. If someone shows me something, I commit to always use mu self-honesty to look into myself and to use principles of what is best for all and equality and oneness and give that person a feedback where from my perspective they are correct in their observations and where and why I see that in other statements they are not aligned with reality and acting based on their pure self-interest and separation from life as the illusion of the mind.

In relation to this blog post, I again invite you to assist also yourself with awesome self-realisation tools within DIP Lite course and to listen to educational audio titled Emotional Manipulation Games from the Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race series at Eqafe web store with hundreds of extremely supportive educational material that hold answer to any imaginable question about life and this existence.

Day 133: Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Couple of years ago I discovered recordings of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares television series. The main star is a chef Gordon Ramsay and the mission is to within one week convert a failing restaurant into a successful business. I become inspired about Gordon since he does not fear to say what he has noticed to be the cause of the unsuccessful business. He is fair about his observations, does not prejudge, listens firstly carefully, does detailed research, observes and communicates and then only faces the troublemakers with the facts. In order to get to the person, he is not afraid of speaking loudly, shouting and using the F word. His approach proved to be very successful so he became a sort of a role model to me. It reminds me on Bernard Poolman who also supported people effectively by using very loud and direct voice if necessary.

Lately I started to watch Gordon's TV series again and discovered his additional series. In order to research what contributed to development of his intense character, I found out by reading Gordon Ramsay's Wikipedia page that he had a violent alcoholic father, they moved a lot and his initial football career was full of injuries and disappointments. Gordon's face also looks swollen and capable of receiving strong punches. While in his shows he assisted many people, his cooking perfectionism and short temper are quite concerning. I enjoy watching his shows however they seem to me over dramatized and do not show all the important life perspectives in order to gain full awareness about how this world system actually operates.

What I learned from Gordon and Bernard is that standing up and facing others with their bullshit is very important to achieve a personal transformation. I have for too long been afraid of speaking up due to having a father with a short temper that resulted in me developing as introverted person. So it is time for me to step up and take charge of my life. Only if I develop fearlessness I will be able to assist others. However I realized that supporting others in such intense way can not be faked. One needs to developed a high level of self-honesty in order not to pre-judge others and support them as one and equal. And what is the most important is to teach by your own example.

However what I miss at Gordon's approach is hiding the bigger picture. For example in his shows he analyzes and fixes failed restaurants and hotel in just several days. The breaking point is when his design team magically refurbishes the interior of the business over night into a fresh and appealing space. However they do not explain the details about where does the money come from, how come that architectural transformation can be done is such quick time and if the business owners are then bound to pay for the renovation. So this is generally the problem with the public display where only the shocking details are exposed and then how mystically one hero is turning the situation around like he is a sort of god or magician.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to investigate what is behind the scenes of every situation that I face in my life. I realize that thinks do not just magically function and that there are many dimensions involved in order for some structure to exist and operates. When and as I observe some organization and my mind starts to produce thoughts that things in this world are just he way they are and that is is not for me to mess with them, I stop and breathe. I commit myself to become a detective of life and to investigate every detail about how this existence works in order to gain full perspective and awareness that will enable me to be effective in making this world the best place for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in watching TV series where the shows are specifically edited in a way to create emotions and to present only several perspectives of the situation in order to not question the current global system. I realize that reality is much more complex and that if I am to live in this world effectively, I have to know as many details as possible. When and as want to relax and my mind would invite me to watch some entertaining TV show, I stop such thoughts and breathe. Instead I rather get a book that would expand my awareness, like autobiography of a person that I admire in order to become familiar with all the timeline that resulted into creation of a particular character.