Showing posts with label kinesiology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kinesiology. Show all posts

07 November 2016

Day 137: The cause for cold legs

I have had cold legs and feet for many years. I do not know exactly how long ago this cold legs syndrome became part of my life but it appeared around 10 years ago when I was about 30 year of age. I remember visiting a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner for a treatment and he was surprised how cold and dripping wet my legs were. I also had massive back pain at that time. I received a cupping treatment and a leg massage and I have been prescribed a special tea to drink. I also visited an Ayurvedic doctor that checked my ayes, tongue and pulse and gave me a back massage with a stick, she sticked acupressure balls to my auricle, prescribed a regular Abhyanga fully body self massage with warm oil and I was suggested a regular participation at her Yoga classes. I assisted myself also with purchasing a electric heating pad for under my feet while I was sitting at my office desk. And at that time I experimented with acupressure foot massage, and started to take barefoot walks and hikes in nature and took warm leg baths occasionally. The cold legs situation might have decreased slightly but it never went away and I am again experiencing cold legs to such a level that it strongly distracts me from my tasks, especially during working for many hours with my computer while sitting on the chair behind my home office desk. So I started to research in depth what might be the real cause for my cold legs and what would be the effective cure for that.




Around 6 years ago I stumbled on Desteni group that amazed me with detailed description of the cause for current situation in this world, including the state of humanity. They also assist with explaining about the cause for illnesses and diseases and most of such knowledge is accessible in form of audio recordings at Eqafe web site. The closest explanation that I found was the 3 part audio series about the Restless Legs Syndrome. But since my legs were not restless but cold, I needed to find more specific explanation. Luckily at Desteni they are also training a New Kinesiology practitioners that are able to connect and look at the situation of your own physical body also at long distance. So I arranged a session with such practitioner and she pinpointed two primary points that contributed to my cold legs condition.

It tested out that the first point was the projection towards myself. I must have experienced some desire or fear about 5 years ago and projected it in my mind onto another person or the future or a thing in my environment. I must have seen something happened to somebody else and I interlaced the fear onto myself. My mind then created a connection - saying: “This will become me or might become me”. Within my personality design it uses fear at specific points in time to compound experiences. So even though the cold feet has been part o my mind-physical relationship for more than 20 years, the reason why it tested as 5 years ago is that it is showing predominant personality design but the fear aspect of it solidified entire design into quantum physical state of existence. It is a multi faceted dimension that goes beyond just the physical symptoms of cold legs and feet. So it is not that it happened 5 years ago but that a memory from that time pertaining to this design is what I am to look at.

The first memory that I proposed was an event where ex boyfriends of my last ex girlfriend called me on the phone and announced that he is about to get in his car, come to my place, kiss me on my cheek and put a bullet through my forehead. It was the most intense life threatening situation that I can remember. However the practitioner tested this and said that is not the relevant memory. I am to look at a memory where I came face to face with seeing myself and said: “Oh god, is that who I have became?”. It must be something that I can relate in the last few years of having some judgement in a moment where I did not like what I saw within me in some way from a perspective of me as a person or a personality. The next memory that came up within me was that I spend all the money from selling of my apartment and not managed to establish a business that would generate a reliable and steady income for me. Practitioner tested again and said that the relevant memory is not about money but a point where I looked myself as a person, as my personality: “Valentin”.

Then I suggested a memory of my decision after I have for the first time established my own business to rather work alone than employ other people. The practitioner said that this is one aspect of it as me “Valentin” as self provider and worker and contributor but that there are other aspects as well. I am to look at my entire personality as who I am as a partner, a friend to others, as my thoughts, as I saw myself when I was alone. It is a situation where we don't even know if we like ourselves, when one knows the truth of yourselves, our fears and thoughts and desires and we don't like what we see. And then when I was to look myself like this a shift had to happen where for a moment I did not like what I saw. What the mind then did was to create this into a self-judgement where I separated away from myself based on that dislike of self. Where the fear came in is where my mind firstly used my personality design that came from my father which is difficulty to accept self and difficulty with the unification and acceptance of all parts of self. So it is to be a personality design that came from my father's side as being very strict and stringent with self and in the mind holding onto the judgements of self and moving farther away from real intimacy with self.

I then looked at myself and said that generally I do not like what I do, not knowing who I am, how the existence functions, all the lacking bricks in the wall, not knowing what is true and thus not having a solid ground for my decisions and thus also consequences of my decisions were not as what I expected. Finally practitioner confirmed that this is the primary cold leg design which originates from the experience of separation of self. She explained that what the mind did when I was more like early teens is that it developed onto this platform personality and it started developing my self view and relationships with other people and money based on this uncomfortability with self as a basic foundation personality. Then what it did as one example of a projected fear is that it would use thoughts such as: “Oh no look at this thing I did wrong.” or: “Look at the way I look or why did I do that wrong.” and it charged it with fear energy and compounds that one thought towards self and projected it deep into the mind as a concrete self view. For example I might not even be that consciously aware of what I am saying because these fears have been more solidified into the deeper quantum layers of the mind and then into the quantum physical.

So when my legs and feet are cold and distant, what I am accessing are the residual personality effects which will at times get worse depending on how my self views and fears are personified. For example if one day I have a thought such as: “Valentin why cant you just get that right!” then the mind charges that thought with its energy and connects it into the personality design of: “Distance with self”. When this happens it would be very useful to look at the week or few days before it happened to see what subtle thoughts and experiences and judgments and self fear points did I participate in or experienced. Even if it is just one small very fast moving thought like fast judgment in a moment like: “Come on Valentin, just work harder man!” it will move fast. What is happening is a very big process in the background where the mind charges the personality design with that thought and this in effect exists equally inside the physical in the legs and feet as the physical location of that mind system.

Thus I am to look at who I am in relation to myself, which is relationship with self based on this design of separation from self. Because what is important to grasp here is that firstly a personality genetic design exists. This design creates thoughts and feelings and experiences to create separation from self. To work with it I am to acknowledge that this is a part of my primary personality. How it fuels itself in micro moments with thoughts and fear about myself into the personality. So I will work with writing out firstly how the personality design looks like and how it works as this is necessary to defuse the system. And the next part is to catch the thoughts and experiences that I have fed into the personality. Because usually these big personality designs, even if we understand them, they are more difficult and take years to defuse as one stops participating in it. What practitioner suggested was for me to see if I can look at what she described as this personality design of separation from self into my own words. Then I am to send my writing to her and she will add the information and assist with understanding as it is not always easy to see it fully.

In the following posts of this blog I plan to face and defuse this cold legs design. If anyone else is also struggling with cold legs and feet, I suggest to read my next posts about that. And if anyone is looking for a personal assistance about their cold legs design or any other health, relationship and similar issue, they are invited to connect with Desteni and their New Kinesiology practitioners by firstly introducing themselves at Desteni Forum.

19 March 2016

Day 135: Using kinesiology to identify mind patterns

Within our Desteni group there is now a cool support of two woman who mastered the new method of kinesiology by which it is possible to communicate with the physical body and get a feedback about the current challenges that someone if facing. So recently I had the first session with one of them due to my pain in the the lower back. What she tested out was firstly an archetype of engineer, which is someone who takes a concept and who then creates and works out schematics and designs that allow that concept to function and work in the way that it’s intended to, implying that in some area in my life within myself, I am embodying this definition.




A few positive expressions of the engineer are: (1) Wanting control over their environment so that they can manifest the plan and design and vision that they have in mind, thinking that their design is superior, (2) Believing self to be of superior intelligence, (3) Seeing other or most humans as emotional and irrational beings, (4) Seeing themselves as more stable and rational than others.

And the negative expressions are: (1) Dissociated from life by only seeing everything and everyone as cogs in a machine, (2) Lack of empathic skills, (3) Not hearing other beings by placing value onto their vision above all else, (4) Rigidness and inflexibility in thinking, (5) Not connecting with other people and beings, (6) Locked in intellect, (7) No sensitivity for nuanced social behaviour.

The point in my lower back, indicated that I am having positively charged backchat in relation to myself so positively charged backchat in relation to myself be like glorifying myself so now the issue that I am dealing with specifically is that I am having perceptions of the people around me which are creating internal conflict. I am to ask myself about the emotional conflict that I have been experiencing in relation to how I perceive the people around me in my immediate environment. Especially negative backchat about one specific person which is a negatively charged perception of that person which I then identified as my father. And then the positive backchat is in relation to myself and this a polarity is created. The issue is that I am essentially seeing an aspect of myself in my father that I don't really want to see or be honest about with myself which would be about the selfishness or being selfish. Thus the solution would be for me to look at where I am being selfish.

Another solution that tested out was to live a words care, direct and humility. Care seems pretty straightforward, indicating self-care, as in giving yourself the care that I am looking for from my father. Direct means to be direct with my father, meaning to be to the point when dealing with him, and not in the back of my mind, looking for support and care from him. So in other words, like taking the feelings or emotions out of the equation in my relationship with him.

Soon after my kinesiology session I started to apply some of the suggested change. So when I had a business Skype conversation with my father I was careful not to want to impress him or seek his attention and I simply asked him what he wants from me. I then focused on execution of what he required and when he after that engaged in some emotional discussion with me, I payed attention not to play his game anymore. I simply redirected his attention by asking him if there is something else that I am able to assist him. This approach worked as he calmed down and we ended a conversation for that day.

I am now also going to write some additional self forgiveness statements which will assist me in transcending my mind patterns:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to desire care and attention from my father. I realise that being dependant from others to care for me is creating a starting point of lack within me and constant requirement of seeking attention which is the exact word that my father is living. I commit myself that whenever I would communicate with others and my mind would produce thought that start to persuade me that I have to impress others I stop and breathe. I then change my communication with others from starting point of equality and awareness that I am the only thing that I need to be fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for being selfish. I realise that I have been blaming him for something that I also have been doing in my life. For example I am not accustomed to give tips to servers or to give gifts to others and I do not celebrate birthdays anymore. But if I look at my father, despite of mostly caring also for his self interest and doing things generally to get attention from others, he always gave me some more money than I requested and he made sure that me and my brother had our needs more that covered. So I commit myself to be more generous, to give more and not to be scared anymore that I will lack things as we are living in the world of great abundance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave like what I do is the best and that others must join me and follow my lead as my plan is perfect. I realise that others equally participate in co creation of this world and that they have their own ways of perceiving what is best and what path is optimal for them. When and as I communicate with others and my mind wants me to explain my perfect plans to them, I stop end breathe. I rather ask them what their current situation in life is, what are their challenges and how they plane to achieve their goal. I commit to only give them my perspective if they request for it or if I see that their plans have some mistake that would cause them or others big problems if not changed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others only as cogs in the machine. I realise that we all have our own baggage and that we all, including myself, have I lot of work to do before we stop acting as insensitive machines. I commit myself that whenever I meet other people and my mind would start analysing them and finding nothing but flaws, to stop and breathe. I then open myself and communicate with them in a relaxed and gentle way, have some fun and make sure that others feel comfortable in my surrounding. I decide to evolve my social life by going out, visit clubs, mingle and fit more in with the rest of the crowd.

If you want to learn more about the process of self realisation that will speed also the transformation of your life into something better, I invite you to sign up for DIP Lite course > http://lite.desteniiprocess.com