Day 204: Directing myself to do what matters

There has been a major shift in my starting point, priorities, and focus. What I realized is that so far I have been doing activities where I would in the eyes of others look busy, diligent, and organized. That means that I have been doing a lot of documentary photos of all the events that I attended and other things that happened in my life. I would then spend a lot of time to download the photos from my phone, edit them in the most professional way, renamed and organized the files, and then upload them to my Facebook profile. I found great pleasure in taking pictures, making them perfect and sharing them with others so that they can also get some useful information and for them to have a reference for what I have been doing. Years ago when I worked as a professional photographer others paid me to do the shooting and editing, however in recent years I took pictures only for my personal interest. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that continuing the old habit like this is something that I am wasting my potentials by and that I am not adding much value to this world. It was mostly about presenting myself to others in order to play a certain character and to receive recognition from them. Now I have changed this point in terms of restraining myself from taking photos of every single thing that attracts my attention. And if I take some photos for the sake of documenting some event for the possibility of having to prove to others that it happened, I simply download the photos to my computer and keep them in a raw unedited form.

The next point that I looked at was the time I spend on social media, attending hangouts, participating in some groups, and watching movies. I noticed how quickly I get drawn to watching something, especially in form of moving pictures which creates a certain feeling of satisfaction by discovering something new. And how participation in social groups makes me feel noticed, accepted, valued, and part of something that will make a difference in this world. Yet the amount of digital content and online groups is increasing every second so I had to prioritize my involvement in order to make the best use of my limited time. I decided to increase the focus on my business of distributing new learning technology and using it also myself on a daily basis to increase my capacity for processing information and increasing the quality and quantity of my vocabulary. So I defined my mission to perfect myself by developing the skills of communication and influencing others and also showing others how they can do the same in order for as many people in this word to become highly capable and responsible in order to bring forth a world that is best for all life.

In recent weeks after using the said learning technology regularly for at least 2 hours per day, I noticed a substantial increase in my focus, clarity, determination, will, and bravery. What also started to happen is that I would wake up naturally after sleeping only around 4 hours. Initially, my mind would immediately produce a thought convincing me that humans need around 8 hours of sleep so I made myself continue sleeping for the additional 4 hours. However, I learned before that the human physical body requires only around 4 hours to rest, and the additional time of sleeping only results in the mind regenerating itself and thus gaining more power to distract and suppress us. And I also learned how the words leaders and the most successful people sleep very little, some even just 2 hours and then doing short naps during the day. So I decided also to get out of the bed immediately after I would wake up naturally, no matter what duration of my sleep has been. I have been experimenting with different ways of taking charge of my physical body and to actually get out of bed and fully wake up. It has been challenging to get out of such an appealing comfort zone like a warm cozy bed and I was not always fully successful. However, I am pushing myself to cut down the time of my sleep to as little as possible in order to have more time in a day to be productive.

What I also noticed is how often I check the time and to what extent I allow it to influence me. When doing business and collaborating with others time certainly is a factor that needs to be considered. We do measure time in days which are then sliced into hours and minutes. Thus some consider time as their most valuable asset since each of our lives only so many years and we can achieve in one lifetime only so much. Many successful people use the time management system where every single activity is being scheduled in slots as small as a couple of minutes. While I was doing creative work time was not so much of an issue since the deadlines were quite long and the main objective was to come with a unique creative solution that was not so much valued in the time spend to produce it but in effect that it produced. And this is why I had resistance to organize my life based on time. Even with sleeping, I noticed how by just looking at a clock I am already giving my mind the information in order to calculate the duration of my sleep and based on then create a feeling of being rested enough or needing some more sleep instead of me communicating with my physical body and directly seeing it had rested sufficiently. So in the morning I now refrain from checking the time immediately. And when I create my first daily log entry I am careful about my mind not to create any comparison and estimation if I have slept enough or not.

An additional point was developing a habit and support system of following up with people and directing them in the long-term in order to achieve a specific objective. Previously I defined myself as an introvert, I did creative jobs where I needed a quiet and peaceful environment in order to concentrate on designing and programming with computers uninterrupted for hours. And now my mission is to influence and change others which means frequent and persistent communication with many individuals which is the exact opposite of what I have been used to do. This again pushes me intensely out of my comfort zone and creates a lot of resistance. It makes me have to decide about many more things that are far less predictable since every mind of other humans is a world of its own. I have to evaluate every individual on many levels and then decide when in by which means, using what word and exposing them to which information would result in directing them towards increasing their awareness, self-responsibility, and capacity. Each person is with a unique history of experience that shapes them and on at different location points. And it takes many years for everyone to grow and expand into an exemplary human being. So I am developing and applying a system of making a lot of notes in regards to every individual that I communicate with and then to follow-up with them on a regular basis.

Now what I have to be careful about all of this is to maintain a balance of self-care and care for others in order not to lose my personal power. The manifestation of pain at points in my spine is a reminder that I have gone too far from the track. Recently some pain has manifested in my lower back. And even a more prominent pain manifested in my neck. The contributing factors for this can be the increased time spent calling people on the phone in a standing position where the weight of my hands creates much more pull comparing to my usual way of working in a sitting or partially lying position. However, I am familiar also with the back neck point structural resonance. It explains how the pain in that area is connected to the ability to change things and stand up for yourself. And I am able to track back the start of pain developing in that area especially when some older lady that just became my Facebook friend called me via Messenger video and started to engage in an extensive and long conversation without consideration of my time and what I was doing. I find a direct unannounced video call not very considerate and intrusive and it was a new experience that I had to respond to.

While my objective is to increase communication with other people I am making sure to be as considerate as possible. So when I call somebody on the phone, I immediately ask them how they are, where they are, and what they are doing. This gives them the opportunity to explain if it is a good time to speak and enables me to decide if I should continue the conversation and for how long. Other people usually do not call me with exception of my father who calls me on the phone a few times per month. And usually, he wants me to immediately or very soon to do some design work for him end eventually pays me for that. However, when others call me I can not tell so sure what they want from me, for how long they want to speak to me, and what would be the result of communication. I see how I prefer for any call to be scheduled with me in advance by firstly contacting me via social media or text messaging which is less intrusive and does not disturb my own schedule. While previously I had my phone turned on all the time, I am now also turning it off completely when I need to focus on something like writing this blog post.

Here are some related suggested educational Eqafe audios for listening:
Stiff Neck
Stiff Neck Practical Support
Pain and Process
The History and Purpose of Sleep
Do Beings on the Other Side Sleep
Mental Tiredness vs. Physical Tiredness
Mind Asleep, Mind Awake
Why do I Wake Up in a Mood?
Do You Only Rest When You Sleep?
Mind Feeding Routines Feeding Mind

Day 8: My sleeping habits analysis continued

Post for Day 7 is in my Slovenian blog

Today was a day when I watched movies until 1 am and I went to sleep feeling great since I watched a very fun sweet 16 movie with a great life lesson. But at the same time I felt bad and guilty since I went to sleep so late. I set my alarm clock to wake up at 7 am, so just after 6 hours of sleep. But when it rang I started thinking that I have not received enough sleep so I pressed snooze a couple of times and was able to get out of bed not before 8 am.

It is funny how strong I believe that I need at least 7 hours of sleep. And this is simply due to mental perception and calculation. I read once that people who sleep 8 to 9 hours a day look better, age slower and look younger. And this is also why I want to sleep around 8 hours every night. I fell great when people ask about how old I am and I invite them to guess. Most people give me 10 years less that my real age and I give the contribution for this to my sleeping habits.

I don't know when and why I got this, but as long as I remember, I have some kind of vision that I will live about 130 years. And according to this vision, I also treat myself good, meaning that I care for my physical and emotion body, assure low level of stress, quality food and then of course quality sleeping time. I perceive sleeping as a very big contributor to my younger looks. I read that proper sleeping length has a very rejuvenating effect and I definitely want to apply it.

Then I have noticed, how the time system, the watches and clocks influence my daily activities extensively. I wish my life would be as simple as the life of animals, who do not have any time measuring instruments and can still live a full life. But people, we have invented devices that slice each day to hours, to minutes and to seconds. And 24 hours day and 365 days year system is nor perfect nor the only one in existence. Different countries measure time and days differently and it is only in near past where we began unifying time measuring systems.

I have researched other time measuring methods like Vedic and Mayan calendars and they are much more holistic and do not diminish the perception of cyclic cosmic events to such limited way as our 24/365 system that needs to leave out a whole day in every several years in order to realign. Measuring each day with the same clock has a great psychological effect. It creates a perception that each day is the same as the day before, while the Mayan calendar defines each day as very different, with different cosmic and planetary influences and is thus not to be treated equal.

My day is based on the visual perception the 12 hour clock image in my mind and perceive the movements of clock hands as climbing or descending. At 6 am the hand is at its lowest point and thus at 6 am want to stay in the bed. When clock hand starts its climb, I also get out of the bed. At noon I am full up and running. However at 3 pm the clock hand is in the middle of descend and I want to take a midday nap. At 6 pm the clock is again at its lowest and I prepare for fun activities. At 9 pm my mental activities diminish. However I do not want to go to bed yet. I want to experience the midnight hour since it is an important event of transition into a whole new day.

I wonder how would my life be if I would not have any clocks or watches, if I would not be able to know what time it is. Would I fell the same during the day? Definitely not. Currently I become tired basically because I see what time it is, then in my mind I immediately calculate how much time I have worked and conclude that I must be tired and I deserve the rest simply due to elapsed time that I calculated. This definitely is not the best way to live a life. I must figure out a different method of managing my life. I must not allow this to continue, for digits on the watch and hand of the clock to control my life to such extend. I will research alternatives in my next blog post.