Day 204: Directing myself to do what matters

There has been a major shift in my starting point, priorities, and focus. What I realized is that so far I have been doing activities where I would in the eyes of others look busy, diligent, and organized. That means that I have been doing a lot of documentary photos of all the events that I attended and other things that happened in my life. I would then spend a lot of time to download the photos from my phone, edit them in the most professional way, renamed and organized the files, and then upload them to my Facebook profile. I found great pleasure in taking pictures, making them perfect and sharing them with others so that they can also get some useful information and for them to have a reference for what I have been doing. Years ago when I worked as a professional photographer others paid me to do the shooting and editing, however in recent years I took pictures only for my personal interest. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that continuing the old habit like this is something that I am wasting my potentials by and that I am not adding much value to this world. It was mostly about presenting myself to others in order to play a certain character and to receive recognition from them. Now I have changed this point in terms of restraining myself from taking photos of every single thing that attracts my attention. And if I take some photos for the sake of documenting some event for the possibility of having to prove to others that it happened, I simply download the photos to my computer and keep them in a raw unedited form.

The next point that I looked at was the time I spend on social media, attending hangouts, participating in some groups, and watching movies. I noticed how quickly I get drawn to watching something, especially in form of moving pictures which creates a certain feeling of satisfaction by discovering something new. And how participation in social groups makes me feel noticed, accepted, valued, and part of something that will make a difference in this world. Yet the amount of digital content and online groups is increasing every second so I had to prioritize my involvement in order to make the best use of my limited time. I decided to increase the focus on my business of distributing new learning technology and using it also myself on a daily basis to increase my capacity for processing information and increasing the quality and quantity of my vocabulary. So I defined my mission to perfect myself by developing the skills of communication and influencing others and also showing others how they can do the same in order for as many people in this word to become highly capable and responsible in order to bring forth a world that is best for all life.

In recent weeks after using the said learning technology regularly for at least 2 hours per day, I noticed a substantial increase in my focus, clarity, determination, will, and bravery. What also started to happen is that I would wake up naturally after sleeping only around 4 hours. Initially, my mind would immediately produce a thought convincing me that humans need around 8 hours of sleep so I made myself continue sleeping for the additional 4 hours. However, I learned before that the human physical body requires only around 4 hours to rest, and the additional time of sleeping only results in the mind regenerating itself and thus gaining more power to distract and suppress us. And I also learned how the words leaders and the most successful people sleep very little, some even just 2 hours and then doing short naps during the day. So I decided also to get out of the bed immediately after I would wake up naturally, no matter what duration of my sleep has been. I have been experimenting with different ways of taking charge of my physical body and to actually get out of bed and fully wake up. It has been challenging to get out of such an appealing comfort zone like a warm cozy bed and I was not always fully successful. However, I am pushing myself to cut down the time of my sleep to as little as possible in order to have more time in a day to be productive.

What I also noticed is how often I check the time and to what extent I allow it to influence me. When doing business and collaborating with others time certainly is a factor that needs to be considered. We do measure time in days which are then sliced into hours and minutes. Thus some consider time as their most valuable asset since each of our lives only so many years and we can achieve in one lifetime only so much. Many successful people use the time management system where every single activity is being scheduled in slots as small as a couple of minutes. While I was doing creative work time was not so much of an issue since the deadlines were quite long and the main objective was to come with a unique creative solution that was not so much valued in the time spend to produce it but in effect that it produced. And this is why I had resistance to organize my life based on time. Even with sleeping, I noticed how by just looking at a clock I am already giving my mind the information in order to calculate the duration of my sleep and based on then create a feeling of being rested enough or needing some more sleep instead of me communicating with my physical body and directly seeing it had rested sufficiently. So in the morning I now refrain from checking the time immediately. And when I create my first daily log entry I am careful about my mind not to create any comparison and estimation if I have slept enough or not.

An additional point was developing a habit and support system of following up with people and directing them in the long-term in order to achieve a specific objective. Previously I defined myself as an introvert, I did creative jobs where I needed a quiet and peaceful environment in order to concentrate on designing and programming with computers uninterrupted for hours. And now my mission is to influence and change others which means frequent and persistent communication with many individuals which is the exact opposite of what I have been used to do. This again pushes me intensely out of my comfort zone and creates a lot of resistance. It makes me have to decide about many more things that are far less predictable since every mind of other humans is a world of its own. I have to evaluate every individual on many levels and then decide when in by which means, using what word and exposing them to which information would result in directing them towards increasing their awareness, self-responsibility, and capacity. Each person is with a unique history of experience that shapes them and on at different location points. And it takes many years for everyone to grow and expand into an exemplary human being. So I am developing and applying a system of making a lot of notes in regards to every individual that I communicate with and then to follow-up with them on a regular basis.

Now what I have to be careful about all of this is to maintain a balance of self-care and care for others in order not to lose my personal power. The manifestation of pain at points in my spine is a reminder that I have gone too far from the track. Recently some pain has manifested in my lower back. And even a more prominent pain manifested in my neck. The contributing factors for this can be the increased time spent calling people on the phone in a standing position where the weight of my hands creates much more pull comparing to my usual way of working in a sitting or partially lying position. However, I am familiar also with the back neck point structural resonance. It explains how the pain in that area is connected to the ability to change things and stand up for yourself. And I am able to track back the start of pain developing in that area especially when some older lady that just became my Facebook friend called me via Messenger video and started to engage in an extensive and long conversation without consideration of my time and what I was doing. I find a direct unannounced video call not very considerate and intrusive and it was a new experience that I had to respond to.

While my objective is to increase communication with other people I am making sure to be as considerate as possible. So when I call somebody on the phone, I immediately ask them how they are, where they are, and what they are doing. This gives them the opportunity to explain if it is a good time to speak and enables me to decide if I should continue the conversation and for how long. Other people usually do not call me with exception of my father who calls me on the phone a few times per month. And usually, he wants me to immediately or very soon to do some design work for him end eventually pays me for that. However, when others call me I can not tell so sure what they want from me, for how long they want to speak to me, and what would be the result of communication. I see how I prefer for any call to be scheduled with me in advance by firstly contacting me via social media or text messaging which is less intrusive and does not disturb my own schedule. While previously I had my phone turned on all the time, I am now also turning it off completely when I need to focus on something like writing this blog post.

Here are some related suggested educational Eqafe audios for listening:
Stiff Neck
Stiff Neck Practical Support
Pain and Process
The History and Purpose of Sleep
Do Beings on the Other Side Sleep
Mental Tiredness vs. Physical Tiredness
Mind Asleep, Mind Awake
Why do I Wake Up in a Mood?
Do You Only Rest When You Sleep?
Mind Feeding Routines Feeding Mind

2012 Aligning myself to be more successful in handling money

In the past few days I have been reviewing my current financial situation and it is not looking very well. It looks like I will be not able to pay my monthly rent on time and yesterday I had a conversation with my landlord in order to find out how she is dependent on my rent money. She gave me the opportunity to delay the payment for a couple of months if necessary. This situation is a bit embarrassing for me since I am used to keep all my promises and never owe anything to anyone. It is one of my perfectionistic behavior patterns that I execute in my daily life that I created due to my very demanding father.

I listened today a weekly audio from Global Information Network where Kevin Trudeau was emphasized how keeping a strong focus is a key for success. He made several examples about how some people do not keep focus long enough consistently in order to produce desired results but grab any new opportunity that comes along, thinking that it is best to be involved in several business opportunities at once. But since every business takes time and money investment for several months or years before the money starts coming back, it is not possible for any business to succeed without a proper focus.

While listening to this audio I asked myself if my current situation is also a result of not enough focus? And yes, I am able to see how in past years I have been jumping from one business and opportunity to another. However some businesses also fall apart due to rigidity and inability to adjust to new market situation. So the question is now were my decisions the result of inability to keep focus or was I simply adjusting myself to the new experiences. I could say that every decision I made was the result of my understanding, past experience, accumulated knowledge and perspective at that time. And each individual is constantly evolving and expanding itself do to many new daily experiences.

I definitely accumulated a lot professional knowledge that made me successful in my line of business but I am lacking of some business skills that make me not very successful in regards to handling money. I must have copied this behavior pattern from my father who also did not keep any detailed records about his money flow, as far as I know. It was my mother who handled the financials of our family business and she often complained to me, how my father was careless about money and how she prevented him for several times in order not to loose a lot o money by his decisions. Since my mother died several years ago, his behavior patterns resulted in me landing him my money and now he is not able to return it by the date as he promised. So this also contributed in me currently not having enough money for my expenses.

Knowing how to handle money is a very important skill in everyone's life, but we are not taught that in schools, except if you studied any business or accounting school. It do not find very fun tracking all my expenses and I have been in the past able to earn enough money without tracking every cent I spent or earned. I was under influence of believe that money will keep coming automatically by simply doing what I like and do best and my business will always generate enough income for all my expenses. It seems that this kind of approach does not work very well for me anymore and I will have to change it. So I will be keeping now detailed track of all my business and personal financials in order to avoid getting in debt again.

I was tempted by believe that money is not important and that we need to get rid of money since money is evil and couse of all problems in the world. Some people who allowed and accepted this believe soon lost all their money and now they are struggling to survive. Until we implement an Equal Money System that will guarantee a dignified life for all living beings on this planet, one still needs to be functional in current money system and take care for itself properly. I am definitely also tired od having to compete with others to sell some products and services to others in order to earn money. I do not want to be constantly careful if activities that I do are lucrative enough. I want to enjoy life, to live in environment that takes care for my basic needs so I can express myself fully. But this is not possible currently and we will have to change the current system in order to remove the fear of survival.
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