Day 24: I decided to brake up with my girlfriend

In the previous post of this blog I wrote how the visit of my good friend opened up my eyes and assisted me in becoming aware how detrimental a relationship is where your partner is constantly telling you that it can not be done, that you will not succeed, that money is root of all evil and a lot of similar limiting and unsupportive claims. One can try consciously telling itself that these statements are not true, however when hearing them every single day for several times, they slip to the subconscious and unconscious mind and start to sabotage you without being aware of.

Yesterday I decided to have a talk with my girlfriend and told her that I suggest to part. She agreed and told me that she also expected me to come to this decision sooner or later since she also was not very committed to our relationships and desired a different lifestyle. I am planning to prepare myself for political an leadership activities and I need a capable and supportive partner who does want the same. However my girlfriend did not want even to dress different, but was always in casual new age clothes and wanted to live without any big responsibilities in the nature and do some agriculture or similar activities.

Our relationship was beneficial for both of us, we learned and realized a lot. I gain experience about how is to be fully physically loved and accepted and I saved here from previous violent relationship and showed her how man can communicate and act peacefully. However now is time to move one. I need a more supportive environment, friends who build me up, who see the solutions instead of problems, who realize that each one of us has power to achieve incredible things and that with dedication and focus we can relatively quickly turn this world into what is best for all.

So today my girlfriend is moving out to her parents place and will focus on finishing the exams for her high school of cosmetics before she graduates in one or two months. My business will thus also stop offering her massage services and I will from now on focus on counseling, educational and informational products that support life. I plan to develop my connections with groups of successful and responsible people that I have been involved in and use my time and abilities to create as big social impact as possible.

I see what are my next challenges and there are a lot of mountains to climb yet. I am looking forward to transform myself to more open, collaborative and successful person, meet new people, expand my perspective and activate unlimited potentials that await me. There are people out there with mentality that speed up creative process to unimaginable levels and there are possibilities that no one would ever dream of.

2012 Improving communication and understanding

Miscommunication is a big problem in this word, especially since there are so many languages out there. But even when two people speak the same language there are still many occasions when they can not understand each other. Even when we thing that we understand other person, this could in fact not be true.

If we want to understand the cause off all this, we need to go back in our childhood to the moment when we were born. We could go even more back in time, since the baby starts to hear sounds even when still being in the mothers womb. So from very early period of embryo development, we start to build associations and give meaning to physical feelings, sounds and pictures.

Artwork by Matti Freeman

This is the way the consciousness and our personality is being created. However since we have different experiences, we build different associations to the same objects, sounds and pictures and this is where points of separation are being created. For example two people can have different understanding of the same word and also different emotional reactions associated to this word.

The biggest problem among this are emotional reactions, attached to certain sounds and pictures. If we allow ourselves to emotionally react, the energy takes over control of our physical body and we are unable to stay here and direct ourselves as we want to. Thus self-forgiveness of any associated believes, ideals or any other perceptions is the primary suggested step to make in order to start living here as one with all life.

The next step is vocabulary purification or unification. If we do not have the same definitions that is meanings associated to the sounds and pictures, we are unable to communicate effectively. If we look at other living beings, like animals, we can see, that they are able to understand each other more clearly than humans are able to understand each other. This is definitely worth of consideration.

Improving communication is definitely a challenge that can be solved with different solutions. One could be development of a brand new spoken language that would be used all over the world. Some attempts like Esperanto has been made, but it is not the most effective way of understanding each other. Also a non-verbal way of communication is an option, like it is currently used by people with hearing and speaking disabilities.

However until we unite as one nation, as citizens of planet Earth and all speak the same language, we can start improving communication by removing our mind reactive behavior and focus attention on what the other person is in fact trying to communicate instead of allowing our mind to distract us by backchat and emotional reactions. Also when attempting to communicate a careful selection of world and precise description of the subject is very important in order for message to be delivered as intended.

So when starting communication it is important to breathe, slow down the mind, speak clearly and take time to bring proper message to other person. And when receiving the message it is important not to react on every single word, based on our vocabulary definition, but to firstly check an double check using questions to come to clear confirmation that what your perception of received communication is aligned with what other person actually wanted to communicate.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to speaking fast in order to save time and thus compromise the quality of communication with other people instead of realizing that it is not quantity of information that counts but the amount of clearly transmited pieces of information.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hear or read the words spoken or written by other people and immediately reacting based on my own perception of what the other person is saying instead of firstly making sure that my understanding what other person was communicating is correct.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to immediately to react to all messages that I defined as love & light deception by posting Desteni material as comments and replies instead of taking time to understand the perpective and understanding of the person that posted the message and directing the communication as one and equal with other person until mutual understanding of all facts is achieved.
   
   
4. I commit myself to slow down and take all the necessary time and detailed vocabulary while communicating with others in order to effectively expose all points of separation, illusion and deception until we become able to understand each other clearly and realize the necessity of supporting all life here equally.

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2012 Spirituality Exposed - Ignorance and apathy of Zen and Tao

The other day some guy came to visit me in order for us to know each other better. We shared our life story and our future plans. What surprised me was his decision to go on a sailboat and sail around a world in couple of weeks. This decision was based on his understanding that life is very simple and that you can life a fulfilling and joyful life if you reduce your personal needs on the minimum and not to possess a lot of things. He was inspired by his past spiritual experiences like Zen and Tao and he learned to a modest life to be the key to happiness.

Artwork by Ann Van den Broeck

Well, I also have a lot of colorful spiritual experiences. Zen, Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity and many other religions and spiritual paths was also what I studied in depth. There was I moment in my life when I was obsessive Hare Krishna fanatic, dressed myself in sheets and preached the high knowledge of Vedas from door to door with my lap full of precious books. I was prepared to sell all my propriety and live in the temple to live as servant to my lord Krishna and other living beings. From my perspective I knew what life is, what is purpose of life and what is my mission in this life.

I felt safe in Hare Krishna society, there was food, lectures, prayers, dancing, mixing, having fun and feeling good. I started to watch people who were out there in the matrix as lost and delusional and in great need of help from our side in order to save them from their ignorance. However I slowly started to realize that even Hare Krishna society needed the source of income. We had to sold books and charge fees for events and then the society also opened a Govinda's franchise restaurant. So religions are not much different from any other business since money is the essential means of exchange and without money there is no god that can keep you alive in current world system.

Of course one can then decide for a path of a loner, find some place in this world when governments allow individuals to pick a part of land and live there in separation. But even this can not last very long. Ruling elite can swap, change laws and they drive you away from the land. In this word, anyone can use the system to raise himself up to the top power position and use money to do whatever they want, even kill millions of people for the protection of their self-interest. So becoming a loner is not the highest and best way of living that can be applied to any single person, only for those who were born in elite part of the world, who know how the system functions and who know how to get from the system whatever and whenever they need.

But this kind of attitude is not the highest realization and certainly not the final point of self-development that one can achieve. It is only a celebration of your ego and your individuality by totally ignoring other individuals and leaving them with their own problems. Even further, individuality and self-interest is the cause of all suffering in this world since we ignore the needs of other and advertise only the free will and free enterprise and thus leaving also a space for the freedom of abuse. The free will and free enterprise means also a freedom to do whatever you want without consequence and without any limitation. However since we live in limited physical reality on one planet where billions of other beings live, you always influence others with your own actions.

Thus the highest realization is that if you want to properly be taken care of, you have to consider also other fellow beings. Eventually a new system will have to be implemented that takes care for each individual and prevents any person who want to practice his free choice by deliberately hurting others. This system is already being developed and is called an Equal Money System. It is a practical functional peaceful political program that will change the world laws so that a dignified life for all humans, plants and animals will be guaranteed from life to death. Join the EMS forum and participate if you also want to support practical oneness and equality.
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2012 Slowing down and taking self-responsibility

The prominent point in my life is being restless, inpatient, doing things in a hurry, walking and talking fast and signing documents with ineligible scribble. I see there is so much things to do in my limited life time, and there are also monthly expenses that I need to cover so I have to also do many things to earn money. I want to do many things, express myself, enjoy life but I constantly estimate if or how much certain activity will bring me money. Thus I want to fully make use of available time to do as many things possible.

I give impression to others that I am a calm, peaceful guy, however there is fire within me that burns and wants to move fast. It is these mind patterns, accepted and allowed believes of perfection that make me restless inside. I notice that when I observe things, read books, watch movies and talk to other people, many subtle instant energies of anger are produced inside me that I feel as irritation on my skin. I feel it even now when I am writing this. And this is certainly not something that I want to experience in the future.

Within my desire to help and assist other people in also becoming a more stable and responsible human beings, I have noticed, that I am sometimes not very successful due to my impatience. I want them to realize the point quick and I do not make enough effort to assist them in a proper way. I wonder if it is worth of investing my time in explaining or is it best to leave them alone in order to other life experiences to give them proper lessons. I am asking myself how extensive should my support be in order not to become too occupied with assisting people and thus running out of time for properly supporting myself.

I learned recently how importnat is to write, especially in handwriting since this helps in exposing your secret mind and facing all your thoughts that run in our minds fast, too fast for understanding what is their role in our lives. What is also important is to live here practically in this system which means being careful of how you handle money. Until now I was not following very much my money flow, meaning income and outcome. When I had money, I would spend it, when I would not have it, I would do something to earn it. My application was not very contant and I was occasionally surprised when I did not have enough money to cover my expenses.

Next time I talk to people, I listen to them as one and equal and do not allow any emotions of anger. I note carefully every single income and outcome in my personal and professional life so am 100% on track about how money flows in and out. When I notice some energetic reaction within me, I stop, breathe and forgive all the points of polarity with writing or speaking our self-forgiveness out loud.

2012 Spirituality Under a Microscope - Sexual Exploitive Healers

In this blog post a part of Desteni campaign where we expose all sorts of spiritual and new age deceptions and abuse. From within 15 years of my spiritual research I am going to focus here on one experience where a Reiki healer tried to exploit me sexually.

Around year 2000 I noticed some rush on my skin. I went to my personal doctor and she prescribed me some ointment. After applying this medicine on the skin for several months nothing changed, so I started to research alternative medicine. The first book that I found was about Reiki energetic healing. From what I found in the book this healing technique was working miracles, so I decided to give it a try. After I finished reading the book, I asked in the public library if they knew any Reiki healer around. They told me that someone was doing this way of healing but they do not know if he is doing it anymore, but they gave me his contacts anyway in order for me to check it out.

I called this guy on the telephone and it was a man around 50 years old. He told me that he is still giving Reiki so we made an appointment at his place. I went there the next day and we invited me in his living room. After me describing him my problems and asking him if Reiki would help, he said that it definitely will and that it is worth a try. I asked him how to proceed and he told me to lie down on his sofa on the back. I gave him all my trust and he started to lay his hands on my body in order for Reiki energy to flow from his hands into my body and heal the problem. After few minutes he told me, that Reiki energy would flow much more easily if I am naked and he asked me if would be comfortable being naked. I said that I am used to take a sun bath at the sea naked and that I am not ashamed if somebody sees me naked.

Thus I removed all my clothes and lied back down on the sofa. I closed my eyes and allowed him to continue with laying his hands all over my body. Since the rush on my skin was around genital region, he asked me if he may lie down his hands on the rush. I allowed and he proceed. Soon he started to lie his hands also on my penis and he explained to me that it is fully ok if I get aroused which I soon did. Then I started to feel some unusual feeling on my penis. With my eyes closed I figured out that my penis was in his mouth so I told him: "Hey, this is not a Reiki healing anymore!" I opened my eyes, he approached my head and asked me if he may kiss me. I refused and told him that I am not interested in any gay sexual activities.

I put my clothes back on and then we had a talk. He admitted that he is using Reiki healing for the purpose of finding out gay sexual partners and he asked me for understanding and forgiveness and if I can keep this event for myself. I was a bit shocked and disappointed since I never thought of something like this could ever happen to me and I was also ashamed if others would find out what happened to me. However I promised him that I will not expose his identity in regards to this event to anyone. In next years some other female friends also shared with me how other healers tried to sexually exploit them so it seems that this kind of abuse is quite a frequent event.

Besides Reiki I tried out also other healers with different techniques, from Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, Natural Oil therapy, Taijiquan, Tantra, Meditation, Vegetarianism, Angelic healing and all have promised me quite fast definite removal of my health problems, but none had any significant effect. I found out that the cause for my problems are rooted deep into my unconscious mind patterns and that only with patient and dedicated self-honesty, I would be able to become aware and forgive myself all the points of separation and polarity that I accepted and allowed in my life. True healing starts with self-responsibility and equality. There is no fast escapes so let us all start now in order to get this done as soon as possible.

2012 Recent experiences of extreme pain in regards to my father and borrowed money

A week ago I also went to visit my father in order to talk about the money that I lent him about a year ago. Hi promised that he will return it to me by the end of past year which did not happened. In January this year I asked him how come that he let me down and where the money went to. He answered that he needed the money in order to buy the material for his handicraft business in order to prepare for this year's tourist season. He is already retired, but still active in mediaeval reenactment and history of print.

I was not fun of hearing that he invested my money is his own business instead of returning me the money as he promised in order for me to support development of my own business. So a week ago I visited him again with intention to check out the current financial status. He said that he expects to return all my money by the end of August this year, which I found unacceptable. I need money now and I have already started to sell my video and photography equipment in order to get the money.

I learned that basically everyone owns a lot of staff that it can be sold and thus converted to cash, and I also decided to sell some stuff that I do not need at this moment in order to cover my monthly expenses. My father own a wan, a motorhome, an apartment, a workshop and many of machines, devices, computers, old books and many more things. So I explained him that from what I see he could easily sell some stuff and get the money, so the excuses that he can not return my money is not real.

In fact I explained him that since he did not return my money, I had to sell my almost new video and photo equipment for at least with 30% of discount, thus I am loosing money since he does not return money that I lent him. I started to blame him for my money loss which in a way is true. However there is also many things that I could done different in order to protect my interest. I simply trusted him that he will return the money so we did not put it in writing and agreed about the details of what would be the consequences of he not returning me the money.

The next day something happened that I then defined to be as manifested consequence of the backchat in regards to this point. In the morning when I got out of my bed, I experienced I slight pain in my back. I had an appointment that day with some potential business partner, but the pain was not strong enough for me cancel the appointment. So I packed my heavy bag with the products samples and drove half un hour away to the house of that person. We sat down in her dining room and started a conversation. After about an hour of sitting, I got up and it that moment I experience immense pain in my back.

The pain was so strong that I could hardly breathe and I would rather die in that moment. It manifested not in the middle of vertical line in my back, but a few centimeters to my right, stretching about three decimeters from the level of my shoulder blade. I asked the person that I have been visiting to assist me with massage which she did. Then I asked her if I may lay down on her bed and she allowed. But it took half un hour for me to managed to lie down on the bed since initial attempts failed due to immense pain when trying to change the posture of my body. But finally I managed to lie down on my belly and rested.

After few hours of lying and being assisted with hot-water bottle on the pain area and additional massages, the pain decreased to the level where I would be able to stand up and go back home. Now, after one week I still feel a slight pain in that area so it diminishes very slowly. It was unusual experience, not the back pain that I experienced in the past, but as the vertical muscle at right side of my spine would be in cramp. I am not completely sure if the pain is connected to the point in regards to my father and money but this could explain the reason.

And yesterday another pain appeared in a very unusual place. In the evening I started to experience a pain on the inner side of my left left leg, a few centimeters above the ankle. At that time I had new pair of socks on and when I pulled the socks down, I noticed the dent on my skin around my leg from the elastic top of the socks. I started to wonder if the socks pressure was to strong and thus resulted in the swelling, but I am not sure. There was no visible change on the surface of the skin, but the area in size of an apple hurt if I would press it with my fingers.

I don't remember hitting my leg in that area that day and I see no great possibility for something to sting me in that spot so the cause for the pain still buffles me a lot. Today the area is still swollen and the minor portion of the skin is red. Could I have hit myself somehow and then forget this event? Strange things happen and make me wonder what to do in order to avoid any further pain and how to walk the process of self-realization in order be as effective as possible. I have a limited time and it is hard for me which way to move and how much time to invest in any activity in order to support myself financially and to be successful in terms of walking my process.

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling of anger and resentment towards my father for not returning my money instead of having the conversation based on facts and current situation and directing the point toward solution that would be best for both parties without allowing myself to create any energetic reaction.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply trust any person that everything that will turn out just fine, creating just a basic verbal agreement and thus allowing the possibility of misunderstanding and forgetting points, instead of taking time to specify all the details of agreement and putting in in writing so both parties have clear overview of what is expected and what will be the consequences if the agreement is not fulfilled.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to blame my father for causing the loss of my money since I decided to sold my video and photo equipment for much lesser price that I purchased it recently, instead of realizing that the decision of selling the equipment is solely my responsibility and has nothing to do with anyone else.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to properly record and manage the money incomes and outcomes in my personal life, not knowing knowing how much money I have and thus spending more than I can afford, instead of making sure that this point is clear so I can better plan my investments and ensure that I will not go into debt.

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2012 Analysis of all the opportunities that I have been exposed to

Two days ago I participated at great event in regards to one of two MLM business that I joined couple of weeks ago. This business just started in our country but two leaders of our group managed to create a very spectacular event that exceded even my wildest imagination. It is not that the size of the show was something that I never seen before, I just did not expect this level of excellence to be presented in such early development stage of this business. There were fabulous drum and singing acts involved, gorgeous slide and light shows and also the most luxurious models of Mercedes, Ferrari and Porsche cars were put in the middle of the stage and hall. This certainly impressed all the spectators, including me, who was also invited to the stage as one of the company distributors.

The next day we had a seminar for the distributors where one of the first European diamonds and millionaire taught us about the fastest way to earn a lot of money in this business the fastest way possible. Then also two of other leaders from abroad gave lecture about different points in that business. The coolest thing is that the leaders of our group also managed to come to agreement with leaders of the other group from the same business in our country so that we could work as one big family in order to reduce costs and increase overall effectiveness. What made me think the most was the fact that one can build their distributor network and become a diamond very fast if one fully dedicates to that business for couple of next weeks and focuses all the time and resources on supporting its downline.

This business opportunity has thus been presented to me as a very lucrative way of building a big passive residual income but one has to make some sacrifice and deliberately become totally blind for all other things in life for next couple of years on order to become millionaire. This fact made me consider about what I want to achieve and experience and if this would be the best way to reach these goals. Since my long term goal is implementation of the Equal Money System that would unconditionally guarantee a dignified life for all living beings in this world, and because it will take a lot of money to get into politics and change the system, this seems a cool opportunity to reach this goal faster.

There is also another MLM business that I started about 8 months ago that is also a very cool way of creating a large passive residual income. In comparison to the latest business, the first one is more about education, becoming an effective and responsible manager in you life, but it came out that it takes couple of months before you actually put your first dollar in your pocket versus the latest business where you are able to transfer commissions every single week. And in the first business the product is information in foreign language that many of people in our country do not understand, however in the latest business, the product is a much more healthy form of beverage that almost all people consume on daily basis in large quantities thus you can sell it to a lot more people than the first one.

And there also other money making opportunities that I could use. The primary one is of course my own business where I could offer services of graphic design, photography and counseling, not to mention the Equality Store online shop that i developed for the support of Equal Money System. However there are not many of Equal Money supporters currently and at Desteni they also opened Eqafe online shop with downloadable products that became the main focus in terms of creating their income. As an affiliate I could also participate in promoting Eqafe products and thus earning some money but I am not sure how much income could I generate and how to successfully market the products. The fact is that each one of has has a limited time and I will have to decide what will be my priorities in the future in order to support myself effectively and at the same time create a future that is best for all.

What troubles me the most is that I can not know how things will develop in the future and what path would lead to best results. World situation is a very unstable and everything could change very quickly. World economies could crash, natural disasters could happen, thus nothing is certain. What also troubles me is how the businesses that I am going to participate in will influence my life and lives of others. I realized that every business means building a strong relationship with customers and the line of product and the consequences of the consumption of this product will also influence the way and the sort of people that I will meet and how those people will then start to perceive me. And there is also the different mentality or awareness of associates connected to each of different businesses. So it is quite challenging for me to decide where to invest my time and money.

From what I currently see is that all of two MLM businesses will in the first couple of months or years take money and time before the income becomes larger than expenses and one can do this kind of businesses only if additional source of income has been established or if some money has been saved. I have invested thus far a lot of my money from selling of my apartment in all these businesses and now I have also started to sell all of my video and most of photography equipment to cover all my monthly costs and investments in the MLM businesses. So in order to establish for myself additional source of income I now decided also to restart my counseling services. Since I am now located in the center of our capital city I expect a great demand for my services and a stable income. The only thing that I need to do now is to invest time in redesign of my web site and promotion of my services.

It seems that the best way for me will be to prioritize my counseling business where I could also sell some Desteni or Eqafe products and the products from two of my MLM businesses to my counseling customers in regards to current situation, interests and goals in their lives. Since the rent for my large apartment is very high and since the woodblock floor is old and cracks, I also consider moving to a different apartment with stable floor and lower rent, at least until I also become a millionaire.
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2012 Urgency for slowing myself down

I experience myself overwhelmed with assignments in my life lately. The quantity of information to handle became so large, that I lost track of what to do. I got involved in too much projects that require my attention so I will have to do something to be able to handle everything. I talked about that with some of my friends today that gave me some very supportive suggestions. I will need to get grip of my life, become more disciplined and direct myself more effective.

When I look back at where I picked my current behavior patterns that make me to hurry constantly, I see that I picked this up in our family business where my role was to create graphic designs with computer and I was pushed by my father to work faster and faster on daily basis. In time new computers came and I was able to work even faster but even that was not fast enough. I have been bullied by my father and brother that I work to slow, that I needed to press those keys quicker and move the mouse swifter. And even though the fastest person that would come for test work would work by only half of my speed, I would still be perceived as working to slow. Thus I allowed myself to be pushed due to fear that I would not be liked if I work any slower.

The next related point is that when I would have to write something, I would use computer in order to create text faster and that the file could be searched for on the computer. I hardly wrote anything by hand in past 20 years except of my signature that is also a very ineligible sign. I observed some calligraphers and admired their ability for gorgeous scripts however at the same time I would thought how incredible waste of time this is and how this time could be used to do something much more productive. Thus my mind was and still is very restless due to constant estimation how thing could be done faster, quicker, swifter, more effective and productive, by investing as much time and creating as large quantity of products as possible.

Similar point is wanting to finish some job from start to finish as quicker as possible and then enjoying my free time to the fullest. So for example if someone would assign me some project, I would immediately put myself into action and I would work almost without break until I would finish this project and release it to the customer. And right after that I would stop being active and engage in enjoyable activities like resting, watching TV, hiking in the woods or something until the next order would appear. So I would do any job that came to me but generally enjoyed a free time and wanted to be free, without any long term obligations.

Now recently I have been exposed to some behavior patterns that a very successful people do and it is all the way around like I have been doing things in my life. For example it is suggested to write all things down with a blue ink on white paper and use computers as little as possible. This is because when writing by hand brain is stimulated very differently like when typing and one can remember a lot more when writing with pen then when pressing the keyboard. This is in so great contrast with my current habits that experience a great resistance towards starting to write by hand regularly. However it seems that this is something that I will have to do in order to slow my mind down and be able handle all the information and plan all things in my life successfully.

There is also a habit recommended in regards to using e-mail and social networks. Usually I have been checking e-mails and FaceBook messages many time per day, so many times that I am not able to come with a figure. It could be 20 or even 50 times per day. My computer is constantly on, day and night and I have been basically spending time on the computer from morning to evening, unless I would go out shopping on attending some events and meetings. I would use computer for business, for private chats, for watching TV news and entertaining movies, so basically I can not imagine my life without a computer. It is like a window to outer world, to the whole world, where I am connected with everyone and everything. Without it I am like isolated and cut off from others.

However I learned that computers can not replace face to face chats, and personal meetings are very important for successful private life as for a successful business. I became aware of that especially when I started to work in direct sales, since only meetings in flesh are where most of business deals are made and this is a rule that would probably never be broken. Computers, internet and phones do make some information exchange much easier and faster, but the big money is still made only in the industries that use personal touch, like direct sales. This is because when talking to people face to face, the level of dedication, attention and intimacy in communication is so high that it can not be replaced by even most sophisticated technological interface.

So from constantly hurrying, running towards the future and using other people just to get money and then enjoying the good feelings, I will have to learn how to slow myself down, reduce use of the computer, start planning my life with extensive use of pen and paper, dedicate a lot of time for personal meetings with other people and then patiently follow up and follow through with everybody with my sincere interest in order to build a strong bond and connection with as many people as possible. It is time to stop living in my fast moving mind where things are impossible to manage and live here in the physical, treating everyone as one and equal. It will be a tuff job to break those patterns but this is the only way to get rid of the current problems in my life. So let's do it.
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2012 Masturbation experience change report

I have been masturbating for many years regularly and it has been a sort of stress relief tool for me. Whenever I would become bored or tired of work, I would feel a desire to masturbate. In past couple of years since I started my Desteni process of self-realization, I have been experimenting with masturbation in order to transcend this habit. I year ago for example I managed not to masturbate for several months, but then I started again. Though I would consider the advice not to use any pornographic material while masturbating as much as possible.

In time the desire to masturbate would slowly diminish and due to habit of wanting to become more relaxed I often forced myself into masturbation in order to experience the energy of orgasm. Some times just stroking my penis would not be enough so I assisted myself by watching pornographic movie in order to become stimulated enough to activate orgasmic release. But for the last couple of weeks my penis became desensitized to extent that solely stroking penis would become a feeling not much different like stroking my finger or any other part of my body. So from my penis being a joy stick where touching would activate energy of extremely big pleasure, now these energies do not activate anymore and the penis does not erect after stroking it up and down.

I find this condition a great relief since I do not become horny anymore and do not need any energetic release that is explained to function as a fuel to ones mind-consciousness system. I am though a bit worried if stopping masturbation will somehow decrease my ability to have sex since some say that erecting penis and ejaculating from time to time keeps penis functional and in form. I worry that the skin around my penis head would loose its elasticity and volume so that when I would have sex and erect penis in future, the skin would not be able to move over the penis head and would inflict pain at sex penetration.

Anyway, I currently do not have any desire for sex so I will wait until the next sex opportunity emerges and see what happens then. Certainly if one observes the act of sex it is a very violent act since two bodies rub each other forcefully. I remember how painful the head of penis becomes right after I experience orgasm and ejaculation, so maybe this is a true physical feeling that is masked by the mind energy of good feeling until the ejaculation happens. And for the sake of pure practicality, we can see that functionality of sex penetration is purely for the sake of producing children and nothing more.

So from this perspective I do not need sex penetration anymore until I find some partner and we both decide to have some children. And since sex also takes a lot of time, especially if it has been executed several times per week or even couple of times per day, not having sex is extremel big time saver. One can then use all that spare time for something more productive, like changing the system and making this world the best place for all.

There has also been a change in regards to my feeling in the head, the blood pressure and it is all connected to breathing. I have been noticing for past several months, how sometimes my head or brain feels like tired or on low pressure. This feeling manifests often where there is a sunny cloudless weather with high air pressure. Especially in occasions like that I have been noticing, how my breathing is influencing the feeling in my head and how deep breath or stoping my breath is directly and strongly influencing my blood pressure and the feeling in my head. So I have to pay attention on my breathing constantly and direct it properly in order to keep my body stable.

This concludes my report of changes that I have been noticing in regards to my physical body. I might mention that I have also started to drink tea and hot chocolate with Ganoderma Lucidum healing mushroom two weeks ago since I got involved in another direct selling or multi level marketing business with Organo Gold brand. It could be that this Ganoderma, that is also called Reishi in Japan and Ling Zhi in China, is also influencing my physical body and triggering some reactions. And I have also made some big decisions in regards to my business that could also be a mental contributors to how I experience myself. There could be many factors that I am not aware of that influence me, including removal of some interdimensional systems from humanity that people at Desteni perform. But what matters most is that I walk my process and perfect myself constantly so that life on Earth can become more pleasant for me as for others.
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2012 Polarity feeling emotional mind energy exposed

I have been feeling very down and heavy in past several days. It felt like I weighted twice the normal weight, I just wanted to rest and was not able to do much work. This was because I have been exposed to information from TV news about financial crisis, recession, prices of gas going up and similar concerning events. Together with not having enough money to pay for my rent on time, I felt quite depressed and started to consider what are the options to go out of these heavy feelings.

I could have done some self-forgiveness, but I was soo down that I could not even type or speak the words. I searched for the solution and then I remembered that some physical exercise could move and release those energies. Since I am in the center of capital city of our Slovenia country, I am not very fun of running on the streets and woods and mountains are quite far away. I wanted to come with a solution that I would be able to use daily and that is very practical. Thus I remember that a rebounder was suggested as the jumping up and down an the elastic canvas is an exercise that also what has been recommended by NASA.

I searched local web site for used sports equipment and someone has been selling a 1,5 meter diameter round used rebounder for just 30 euros which I considered to be a very cool price. I immediately called the guy on the phone and asked if I may come and test the piece. He confirmed, I jumped into my car and in 20 minutes I was already doing the test jumps. What was also cool is that the device flopped twice so it fitted into my car very easily. When I returned home I washed all the pieces since they were slightly dusty due to outdoor use and soon I was already jumping up in the air like crazy.

I can say it assisted me a lot since a smile came to my face and I started to feel much more relaxed. Similar exercise are also what at Desteni was suggested within the Structural Resonance Alignment course and they also have a quite large trampoline at Desteni farm in South Africa where I payed them a visit last year. I now keep my rebounder as for of first aid right in the middle of anteroom and I use it several time a day. The next day after first use I experienced pain on top of my shoulders and on the belly. I was warned that after first use some muscles would hurt since this exercise activates many muscles, including some new ones that one does not use in usually.

In addition to this physical exercise I also took advice to stop listening only news about destruction and degradation on this world, and to watch some comedy movie or similar that would bring me joy and laughs. Thus I started to watch the YouTube clips of Talent Shows where different people would perform singing, magic and other variety acts. I enjoyed those clips a lot and I would watch day for couple of hours late into night. I started to become possessed with energy of good feelings and it was hard for me to stop watching those movies. So thus I started to slowly drift to the other polarity of emotional energy. Some acts moved me so much that even tears started to emerge from my eyes.

This is my pattern of exchange between bad emotions and good feelings that direct my life instead of me directing myself without influence of any energy. I noticed that when I have enough money I feel relaxed and I spend a lot and at that time I just want to enjoy and do not care much about future plans to establish the proper money flow in order to constantly have enough money for my needs. Only when it is almost too late, when it is the last chance to start digging myself out of deep shit, I became motivated enough by the fear of loss so that I take action and do something in order to earn some money again.

This time I decided to sell my video and photo equipment and I made an effort to prepare the ads and collect the emails of all the video production companies in our country. The next day after I sent them an email with my offer, several people already expressed interest in some pieces of my equipment. Thus I was able to transform my belongings into money very quickly. I learned lately that one should not be ashamed to sell some possessions that one does not need so it can be invested into projects that would soon bring back even more money. And I am also prepared to move to cheaper apartment and do whatever necessary in order to fix my life.

So the only thing that is completely detrimental for avery individual are mind patterns of constant worry about what all bad things might happen in the future and being afraid of loosing objects of possession. Some people who are currently very successful have gone bankrupt in the past but they raised themselves up again and rebuilt their lives again. Thus it is not important how many times you fall but that how many times you stand up. Of course going bankrupt is not a magic formula for success and I also have no intention to completely waste all my money but for some they need to go through this experience in order to change their thinking and behavior patterns.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself a good feeling when I have enough money and feeling of safety and thus not having motivation to move myself as life, instead of realizing that energies are what destroy life thus it is necessary to direct myself in every breath and do what is best for all and release any accumulated energy of bad or good feelings and emotions.

And this is a very supporting video from Sunette Spies in regards to becoming emotional when watching some movie scenes that I highly recommend:

2012 Aligning myself to be more successful in handling money

In the past few days I have been reviewing my current financial situation and it is not looking very well. It looks like I will be not able to pay my monthly rent on time and yesterday I had a conversation with my landlord in order to find out how she is dependent on my rent money. She gave me the opportunity to delay the payment for a couple of months if necessary. This situation is a bit embarrassing for me since I am used to keep all my promises and never owe anything to anyone. It is one of my perfectionistic behavior patterns that I execute in my daily life that I created due to my very demanding father.

I listened today a weekly audio from Global Information Network where Kevin Trudeau was emphasized how keeping a strong focus is a key for success. He made several examples about how some people do not keep focus long enough consistently in order to produce desired results but grab any new opportunity that comes along, thinking that it is best to be involved in several business opportunities at once. But since every business takes time and money investment for several months or years before the money starts coming back, it is not possible for any business to succeed without a proper focus.

While listening to this audio I asked myself if my current situation is also a result of not enough focus? And yes, I am able to see how in past years I have been jumping from one business and opportunity to another. However some businesses also fall apart due to rigidity and inability to adjust to new market situation. So the question is now were my decisions the result of inability to keep focus or was I simply adjusting myself to the new experiences. I could say that every decision I made was the result of my understanding, past experience, accumulated knowledge and perspective at that time. And each individual is constantly evolving and expanding itself do to many new daily experiences.

I definitely accumulated a lot professional knowledge that made me successful in my line of business but I am lacking of some business skills that make me not very successful in regards to handling money. I must have copied this behavior pattern from my father who also did not keep any detailed records about his money flow, as far as I know. It was my mother who handled the financials of our family business and she often complained to me, how my father was careless about money and how she prevented him for several times in order not to loose a lot o money by his decisions. Since my mother died several years ago, his behavior patterns resulted in me landing him my money and now he is not able to return it by the date as he promised. So this also contributed in me currently not having enough money for my expenses.

Knowing how to handle money is a very important skill in everyone's life, but we are not taught that in schools, except if you studied any business or accounting school. It do not find very fun tracking all my expenses and I have been in the past able to earn enough money without tracking every cent I spent or earned. I was under influence of believe that money will keep coming automatically by simply doing what I like and do best and my business will always generate enough income for all my expenses. It seems that this kind of approach does not work very well for me anymore and I will have to change it. So I will be keeping now detailed track of all my business and personal financials in order to avoid getting in debt again.

I was tempted by believe that money is not important and that we need to get rid of money since money is evil and couse of all problems in the world. Some people who allowed and accepted this believe soon lost all their money and now they are struggling to survive. Until we implement an Equal Money System that will guarantee a dignified life for all living beings on this planet, one still needs to be functional in current money system and take care for itself properly. I am definitely also tired od having to compete with others to sell some products and services to others in order to earn money. I do not want to be constantly careful if activities that I do are lucrative enough. I want to enjoy life, to live in environment that takes care for my basic needs so I can express myself fully. But this is not possible currently and we will have to change the current system in order to remove the fear of survival.
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2012 My first introduction of self-forgiveness experience

At Desteni we walk the process of self-realization where we use some tools in order to clear our minds from accepted and allowed points of separation. One of basic tools is called self-forgiveness and I am going to explain here what this tool is about, how it works and how it influenced my life.

I have been testing many self-realisation practices from about year 2000 after I broke up with my first girlfriends and wanted to find out why that happened. I read hundreds of books on personal relationship, psychology, spirituality and metaphysics in order to understand how human mind works. At that time also an itching rush developed on my skin around genital area that started to itch whenever I experienced a conflict situation. I thus also researched Western, Traditional and Alternative medicine.

Many specialist from Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine examined me and prescribed drugs and some practices with no effects. Also many expensive Reiki and Angelic healers had no power to assist me. Even after many years of Yoga, Meditation and Tai Chi practice nothing changed. The same was with my involvement in Buddhist and Hare Krishna religious groups and participation on many Rainbow and Holistic camps. Couple of regressions in my previous lives, Numerological and Jyotish astrological analysis produced the same blank results.

It was only in year 2009 after I firstly joined Structural Resonance Course where I begun to understood how mind-consciousness system works, how the emotional energies are produced when I saw the potencial to create some real change in my life. I found out that the rush on my skin is the manifested consequence of my own allowed and accepted believes of separation that destroy my physical body with the energies of the mind. And I learned also that I am able to become aware of those believes with assistance of writing and that I am able to defuse them by using the tool of self-forgiveness.

When I was firstly introduces to these knowledge and tools, I knew that this is the key that I have been searching for my whole life. Many things have been presented to me before with promise of salvation, but it was all deception. Here at Desteni there is no single deception and it is all about oneness and equality for real. I was able to finally realize that there is no one outside of me who is guilty of what I am experiencing in my life and that there is no one outside who can save me. I have created my experience and only I can change my experience.

So I started to walk the process of self-honesty and using the self-forgiveness in my daily life. Whenever I would experience energetic reaction inside me, I would stop, search for the definition of separation that was in conflict with reality that I experienced and I would forgive myself this illusional definition. Soon my skin condition improved and I can tell you that self-forgiveness works like magic. However, here is no magic, no tricks, it is just clear understanding of how mind works and taking full self-responsibility for your creation. In just few months my problems went away faster than all fake old and new age practices in past ten years combined.

But one has to undersand that the process of self-realisation takes many years even using this tool of self-forgiveness. There are many layers of conscious, subconscious and unconscious layers of the mind to be walked. After digging deeper and deeper some new reactions of vertigo and nausea appeared recently and I also started noticing many tiny subconscious skin irritations that I will yet have to remove. However due to extreme ease of use and massive effectiveness of Desteni tools like breathing, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, I recommend everyone to start using and applying these magnificent tools as soon as possible.

Forgiveness is deception since it is you who create resentment towards others due to self-accepted and allowed definitions of separation and polarity oppositions. Thus you can not forgive anyone but yourself for deceiving yourself and blaming others for what you have created and projected onto others. All the problems in this world will be solved if we take it all back to self. We are the creators, but thus far we blamed others for what we created. Only when we take back self-responsibility for what we created, we regain ability to change this reality so that we can all live here a dignified life, full of abundance and real freedom of self-expression for all. Join us!
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2012 Changing friends and business opportunities for best effect

A lot of things happened in past several weeks in my life. I quit friendship with some friend that I supported extensively in past months due to his fight with his father and being without job and money. I allowed him to spend many nights on my couch, gave him the information and books on how he can improve his life and change his thinking and behavior patterns, and I also lent him one of my notebook computers for many occasions. However he almost never fulfilled his promises about when he will come to appointment with me and he procrastinated with bringing my computer back for weeks. Since he did not want to change and take responsibility for his actions, I decided to end relationship with him completely.

I demanded from him to return the book, computer and the bag that borrowed him and I insisted until I got all things back in one single day. The book was extensively worn off, the computer power adapter was broken, computer slightly damaged the bag torn, and I had to push him hard to get all these things back. And after that he became very spiteful, accusing me for creating damage to him, demanding to remove all the photos from Equality Store that he volunteered as a model for caps and hats, or he would charge me a lot of money in spite of me designing and printing his business cards for free. Thus I learned that assisting those who have intense spiteful and irresponsible behavior patterns is futile. 

However in past weeks I also created many new friendships with enthusiastic people who want to take responsibility for their lives and are doing many project to improve the society. By these people I have been exposed to some very perspective business opportunity with potential of bringing me a very high residual income in next months or years. It is about a product that has in past three years made more profit than Amway with 50 years of tradition and is coming now to Europe. Official launch in our country will be only in three months, but we have already begun with pre-launch and network building activities. I expect that this business will bring me enough money for not having to worry every month about covering large fixed expenses so I will have time to support world equality projects more extensively.

Thus just after six months of purchasing all new video and studio photo equipment I decided to sell it all for the second time. I could of course continue offering photography services, but I got tired of transporting all the equipment, spending hours alert and catching all the importnat moments with camera and then sitting days in front of computer, retouching hundreds of photos. I will keep only camera body, some lenses, flash and tripod and all the studio equipment must go. This way I will make more space and investment money for my new business that I expect to be more lucrative and will be best also for future implementation of world equality system due to creating connection to much larger number of people in our country.

It is a tuff decision and by selling almost new equipment, I will again loose a lot of money, but I expect this to pay off in a long term and that this is a decision that is best for all. For many years my decisions are not any more about what is best for me or my good feelings, but how I can apply myself to change myself and the world system in order to guarantee a dignified life for all. Thus personal sacrifices have to be done in order to break from own limitations and change oneself and the money system. Many people see my decisions as act of indecisiveness, but they see only what is going on the outside and do not see my final goal, large picture and global agenda that I am involved with.

Last weekend I went with my new friends to Vienna with a bus. We were on a VIP meeting in regards to new business and I met there very successful people, many of whom were millionaires. Even two days before, where I was introduced to this business, I felt slight nausea and vertigo that increased on Saturday event in Austria to the level where I would vomit three times on the bus back. I spent the whole Sunday in bed and it took another two days before I would be almost perfectly fine. I wondered what would be the reason for my reaction and connect this to my subconscious mind patterns of perfectionism and criticism in regards to money, wealth, selling and rich people.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give up living in this world due to extensive corruption, financial crisis and natural disasters that I have been exposed extensively by observing news and participating in certain groups, instead of realizing that this is just a portion of events going in this world and that there is also many things worth living for.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to feel pity for myself, expecting for others to take care for me so I could just safely enjoy life and self-expression, instead of realizing that we are all equal living beings and that we can live here only if we take self-responsibility for our lives and also support others equally, thus firstly we need to become totally self-honest and then change the world system until the proper support is there for all live without fear of survival.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the desire of not wanting to participate in current money system, earn money and become wealthy, instead of realizing that we can only change this system if we firstly accept it, become one and equal with it and earn a lot of money to have enough power and influence for necessary political actions that will remove the need for competition, war and starvation.

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2012 Clarification about Global Information Network

This is to clarify why I am also involved in GIN and what is my starting point that I also posted at Desteni Forum:

I also shook hands and talked to Kevin Trudeau personally at Global Information Network meeting in Munich, Germany on 15. September 2011 and I am currently (February 2012) Level 2 GIN member and Bronze Affiliate. GIN has developed a very effective and precisely structured marketing and referral system and tools. I use GIN referral tool in form of introduction audio CD titled The Success Secrets That They Don't Want You To Know About as I way to approach new people that I want to connect with. Those who are very in love & light find introduction CD very "American", so I then refer them to Desteni in order to see if they find Desteni material more acceptable. And those who want to listen more, I hand them the next tool in form of 14 CD series titled Your Wish is Your Command. This seminar educates how to take responsibility for your life and master you feelings and emotions in order to achieve anything that you want in your life. I suggest also to develop similar tools at Desteni (physical CDs) since it enables one a face to face approach with others which is the most effective ways of marketing. There are already some audio CDs in the Equality Store that can be used for that purpose but creating a special audio CD and video DVD with specific invitation would be even more effective.

The GIN mission is to provide a support system for all people who are already capable in order to become even more capable and to achieve any goals, regardless of what they are, faster and easier. Members support members and exchange ideas and business opportunities. They have access to GIN web site with thousands of audios, videos and digital books on personal development, ways to make money, business skills, mental skills, martial arts, health and much more. Members also receive a free life-time membership to Natural Cures web site and free access to many GIN meetings, cruises and other events all over the world. The web site has also a social network, like a "GIN FaceBook" where one can communicate with other members. GIN has also a very cool affiliate program where one can earn a true residual monthly income. After you invite certain number of people that become members, you can stop referring and money keeps coming month after month and it can also be inherited by your children.

There are 12 membership levels in GIN and currently education program has been developed only until Level 5. What will be taught in the next levels, nobody knows. What many of Destonians are confused when introduced with GIN is that they are teaching a "Law Of Attraction" that we define as deception. However the LOA title is only used in the first level of education since people are already very familiar with popular books and movies like The Secret. But on the next levels members are taught that it is not really about attracting things in your life but to create them or how to become a responsible creator in your life. Members are taught how to become honest, sincere, open and responsible person and there are tests on each level to check your realisation. It is being said that if all people become responsible, current problems in the world will consequentially be gone. GIN at this moment has no political ambitions, however Kevin Trudeau is raising support to enter the politics and to stop degradation of human rights in the USA.

It is clear that GIN ignores less capable people and other living beings and does not support world equality as extensively as Desteni. However GIN members are very cool hot leads or prospects for joining Desteni. Thus some of Destonians also decided to join, integrate as high level members and spread the message of Desteni. Many people who I referred to GIN from Slovenia have become also a Desteni supporters, so GIN is a great platform for bringing people to the next level of realisation with help of Desteni. I see the possibility of even bringing Desteni I Process courses into GIN as it can become a standard education for members Level 6 or above. The accumulative effect of spreading both GIN and Desteni information will assist for people to be prepared enough for final implementation of an Equal Money System and then all things will change. A new video has been released recently on the front page of GIN web site titled Why You Should Consider Joining GIN which explains that this club is also for those who want to achieve "world peace", so it is not just for goals of self-interest but clearly also supports goals of making this world a better place for all.
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2012 - Facing with feelings of envy

I have been observing my subtle instant reactions through the day and there have been many. Let's begin with the first one which is the envy towards other people. So when I observe achievements of other people, the feeling of envy cames up that then manifests as irritation and itching feeling on the skin. In this way I reacted today when I observed and invitation to art exhibition of some young painter, then when I got invitation to a workshop of some of my FaceBook friend and I immediately went into feeling of envy.

My thoughts were: "I wish I would be that guy or girl that excels so perfectly". When I ask myself why have I separatem myself from what I observed, I can see that I have associated these achievements and people with my imagination that those people are praised by other people and that they are successful and wealthy, as I also want to be. But if I look to this point, I can see, that this is my own created belief and projection and not true at all. Firstly it is me, who have interpreted the information in a way that made these people something special and more than me, and it is me who projected certain social and financial status onto these people.

Next level of this self-deception is that I have defined myself as unable to achieve those results that these people displayed, which is again not true. With persistance and focus everyone can basically achieve anything. All is connected to ones family history, environment, education, so I would be able to achieve the same if born in different body and family. It is my own created perception and projection that people with smiling faces on the photos are successful and happy and it has nothing to do with reality.

And if I go even more deeper, I can become aware that those photos that I reacted on were displayed on my computer monitor, which gives another dimension to the structure of my reactions. The point is that the picture on the monitor is composed out of square pixels of different hue and luminosity. My eyes and brain then composes these pixels into picture and gives it a certain meaning. But the fact is that every pixel on digital photo can be manipulated and does no necessary represent the physical reality. This is especially true in the fashion and advertising where every detail is carefully retouched.

We are all hiding beneath the masks of personality, trying to convince others that we are worth of acceptance and competing with the rest in this system in order to accumulate enough money for our needs. Especially in politics there is a lot of deceptions and fake faces where competition is immense and lack of honesty is extensive. So even if one displays face of happiness, the starting point of this happy face can be self-interest and manipulation. Thus it is best not to automatically associate any facial expression or statement of others to anything specific, until one really gets to know the person and find out what he truly stand up for.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to associate facial expressions of people with level of success and wealth instead of realizing that everyone can pretend thus judging one, based on the outer appearance is illusional.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to associate digital pictures with physical reality instead of realizing that every picture can be manipulated and retouched extensively and can be very different from the state of physical reality that currently exists.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the feeling of envy towards individuals that I defined as successful instead of realizing that succes in current system means only to be more deceptive and abusive and that true succes will only come when we implement the Equal Money System that will remove the necessity of us constantly competing and fighting each other once and for all.
   
   
4. Next time when I observe other people's facial expression or photos, I breathe, I remain here and communicate with them as one and equal with them, investigating what real experiences in their lives are and invite them to also participate in the process of self-honesty and establishment of world equality system.

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2012 - How I was Able to Hear the Desteni Message

My path of intensive self-realisation started in year 2000, when my first girlfriend with whom I lived together for 3 years left me on my big surprise. I was left in my own apartment, with recently started own business of graphic design and photography, so I had a lot of time and motivation to start a research what is going on in people's heads.

In the next 10 years I read hundreds of books on human relations, psychology, afterlife, spirituality, religion, new age, healing and metaphysics, visited many spiritual teachers, gurus, healers, religious groups and attended numerous seminars, camps, gatherings, fairs and related events. Thus I accumulated a lot of knowledge, experiences and realisations.

It was in fall of 2009 when I had a terrible accident while returning from a business meeting in late night. In darkness I overlooked an escarpment, fall very hard on my stomach, and punched my spleen. They immediately put me on surgery and removed my spleen. I was one of the lucky ones who had two spleens, so I had no problems by removing one of them. For 2 weeks I recovered in the hospital and then I continued with the healing process at my home.

While recovering on sofa in my living room, I amused myself with searching and watching for new age content on the net. One day, while I was browsing spiritual videos on YouTube I stumbled upon very unusual videos. There was some young figure, age about 20 with short blond hair, who spoke in video interviews and deeply exhaled and inhaled in the beginning and at the end of every video interview. Strange was also that this person used different name each time when introduced himself in the beginning of the video, right after first deep exhalation and inhalation.

What attracted me the most was the message that came through this interviews. It explained a lot of thing about dimensional existence, aliens, chakras, angels, demons, gods and the history of universe and human race. The message was very common sensical to me and explained more in detail everything about his existence and afterlife than every book or video that I read and watched so far. I became obsessed with watching this video interviews and watched them for several months, from morning to evening. There were thousand of them and I consumed them with great pleasure.

I noticed that this videos were from the same YouTube channel and that all had a web address at the end of the video, directing to Desteni web site. So after hundres hours of watching this Desteni videos, I decided to check the web site in order to see who was producing them. I found there even more interesting written material and the forum. I registered on Desteni forum, introduced myself and started the communication with the people there. They introduced me with the process of writing and self-honesty, so slowly it was also I who started to produce blogs and vlogs and begun sharing my and Desteni contend on the FaceBook.

Many however reacted to shared Desteni material extensively and this is for several reasons. Some did not have enough experiences to compare the information and see that Desteni is about equality and what is best for all, and there were also the light workers, rainbow warriors and religious fanatics, who preferred to hold onto their own beliefs and self-created good feelings and did not want to understand what was the core problem for all the suffering in this world. I time I slowly begun to understand, that only few people will be able to grasp the Desteni message and join the joint effort of establishing Equal Money System that will guarantee a dignified life for all living beings on this planet equally.

I am very thankful to Bernard, Sunette, Esteni, Andrea and all others who started the research and initiated the process of applying effective and practical solutions for the problems in this world. And I invite all the people who have at least one pinch of compassion left in them, to join people from all over the world who stand up strong and firm for equality and what is best for all. Stop living in alternative reality of your mind, become a Destonian, start breathing, bring yourself here and become one and equal with all life!
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2012 - Valentin moving forward

I have noticed, how I slowed down in my process of self-realization in the past several months. Some of the reasons was the relationship where my partner was not willing to walk in the process with me equally, and some of the reasons were my occupation with the school and development of Equality Store. I recently dropped the school and ended the unproductive relationship, so I am now pushing myself again towards more effective process.

The major points that made me procrastinate is the question of setting the priorities. We all have limited time and time management is important in achieving desired results. I learned that something like time management is basically not possible since outflow of actual events is the product of many people and variables, so time-framing is not very effective way of executing points. More effective approach is priority management. In stead of slicing available time and assigning certain projects to certain time-frames, it is much better only to define daily priority points and make the time-frames more loose or practically non-existent.

Then in regards to setting priorities, there are priorities in regards to personal life, professional life and global development. There are some personal desires that I want to fulfill, like being in supportive relationship/agreement, there are goals to earn enough money in my line of business and there are priorities in regards to changing this world system so that it will guarantee a dignified life for all humans, animals and plants.

So far I have not been applying time or priority management very extensively. Sure I have been using computer calendar to write down my appointments and meetings, but most of my life happen very spontaneously. I allowed my thoughts and emotions to direct me, to produce new ideas that would drive me in different directions throughout the day. This was in a way exciting, but not very effective in terms of reaching desired goals. Until I had enough money, I lived very relaxed and worked in a very unpredictable ways.

Now, when I see that my money reserves are running out, the fear of survival has started to direct me towards more effective way of life. I learned some managements techniques that I plan to apply in my life and I am continuing with learning even more. What I found out is that writing is indispensable tool for personal and also business effectiveness. The thought that occupied my mind in regards to this point is how much to write and what kind of writing to use? Writing with computer can be faster and one can share the content on the web very easy, but handwriting, especially using white paper and a pen with blue ink is suppose to be the most effective way.

Writing can be done to communicate certain information with others in a business way, but here we use writing as a tool to communicate with self and come to self-realisation. Self-talk is what is also recommended for professional use, one can do it silently, but speaking out loud is even more effective. But since this self-talk does not bring any money, I am thinking about how much time to dedicate to self-talk and self-realisation and how much to more money-making activities. Balancing those two points is crucial for overall success in everyone's life. And decision when to use handwriting and when computer typing is a big question that I will have to deal with constantly.

I prefer typing on my notebook computer since I can do it everywhere and then share the content on my blog and forum. The downsides of working with computer is that requires to be handled in a very careful way, enough power has to be provided, and it is proven that what one types on the computer does not stay in ones memory very long. In order to remember things better, handwriting is the best way to write. A paper notebook does not need any power, it can be much smaller and handy, but handwriting is much more slower. The desire to do things faster is why I procrastinated using paper and pen so far. But I plan to change my habits in order to do things in my life in the most effective way.

It is strange, how I perceived that I would write about other points when I would start to write about the reasons for procrastinating, and now those points seems irrelevant. Like the physical pain of my body due to force of gravity while writing for long time in the same position. Now I see that I am easily able to the position of my body and prevent any pain. And due to past business experiences I developed enough self-trust not to be afraid of not being able to earn enough money. I have been always able to see many potentials so all that was necessary was to move my ass and walk long enough until the effects became a reality.

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thing that all the points that accumulated in my life are too overwhelming to face and that is best to get involved in money-making actions, instead of realizing that the mind is that makes life overwhelming and that stopping the mind is a priority point in regards to becoming able to live here practically an effectively in every moment.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about things, believing that thinking is what will make points clear and that it will bring me to best solution, instead of realizing that thoughts in my mind are there only to distract me from what is here and that thinking always leads only to more thinking and time-looping.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for myself, believing that other things are more important to do, instead of realizing that my process is the most important thing in my life and that other things will be resolved more effectively if I put the process of self-realisation as the main priority.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not wanting to write due to constant hurry of moving myself somewhere forward, instead of realizing that life can be lived only in this moment, without any expectations and desires about the future.
   
   
5. The next time I see my mind move, I stop, breathe and start writing until the point is cleared.

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2012 - Occupy student protests and Basic Income Grant

In the afternoon of Friday, 5th January 2012 at 16:30 I attended student meeting at Department of Ethnology and Cultural Anthropology of Faculty of Arts. As I understood there is some new law that would compromise the scholarship of foreigns students in ours country so they wanted to prepara a strategy that would prepare an action plan to stop execution of that law. I joined the meeting in order to invite participants to research Desteni solutions that would end laws that are harmful to individuals once and for all. So when the meeting leader asked me about my perspective, I gave some information about Desteni solutions and distributed flyers with additional information to all participants that were about 10 students and one professor. I invited them to also attend the lecture about BIG that will take place in the evening.

Then at 19:30 I attended a lecture about BIG - Basic Income Grant at the Fužine public library. I listened to Valerija Korošec, who has wrote a detailed proposal of BIG implementation to our government, and now this document has been also printed and is available in form of a book under COBISS ID 978-961-260-052-5. She told us about her experiences about struggle to implement BIG in our country. The first time that BIG was suggested in Slovenia was in year 1990 and at that time it would be much easier to implement it than in the present time. Now the situation is far more complicated. She also answered to some common questions and concerns about consequences of BIG implementations, like: "Will anyone still want to work if everyone unconditionally receives about 500 € per month?".

She came with many examples of pilot studies and partial BIG implementation, like in Alaska, Namibia and Brazil. So there is enough money from social welfare and other programs that can be easily replaced with Basic Income Grant and the whole system can be thus simplified and minimum living standards guaranteed for everyone. She explained that current financial crisis is not just a temporary illness of our economy, but a cancer of global economic system and the crisis of values and thus a must before everything breaks apart. At the end of the lecture were Valerija become very emotional, I also gave some information about Equal Money System and distributed flyers with Desteni links to all of about 20 participants. I also gave Valerija my book and two audio CDs with more detailed information about EMS.

It was interesting to hear about how Valerija's suggestion about BIG came usually with reaction that it is something "utopic" and that it can not be made true. She made examples that this kind of statements were also used in the history where equal rights for black slaves and voting right for women were suggested, but they all eventually came true. But when I introduced to Valerija the suggestion of Equal Money System where not only humans will be taken care of, but also animals and plants equally, it seemed "utopic" even for her. So yes, EMS is definitely a big step in human awareness where the man is not defined only as ruler and master of the world but equal and one to all other forms of expression of life. If you want to learn more about ultimate solutions for world equality, visit the Equal Money web site and read the first book about Equal Money System.
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2011 - What can I do to support the Equal Money System?

So you became aware of the existence of the global political agenda of an Equal Money System that will guarantee a dignified life for all living beings on this world. So what now -- what can you do to support the EMS?

Well, firstly you are invited to dig deep and find all about what EMS is and what is not. Go to the official web site of the Equal Money System which is > equalmoney.org and then read all about it. You are welcome also to get you copy of the first Equal Money Book. Then got to the YouTube and search for the Equal Money System videos. A lot about EMS is also written in the Destonian Wiki. After you have gained a pretty clear picture of what EMS is, they go to the Equal Money forum, register, research the topics discussed so far and then ask whatever you are not yet clear about.

After you finished with research on EMS, you are qualified to spread the word about it to as many people as possible. You can do this by putting the official EMS PicBadge on you FaceBook profile picture. There is also many EMS FaceBook groups and pages that you can join. Share the link to EMS web site on you FaceBook profile, e-mail your friends, and speak about EMS to everyone you meet. Invite them to do the same research that you have done in order for everyone to understand that Equal Money System is the ultimate solution that will fix the problems in this world in shortest time possible. You are welcome also to get yourself a EMS supportive wearables like t-shirts, caps, bags, sticker and similar from the Equality Store > equality-store.com

If you want to fully support the solution of EMS, then you can also start blogging and vlogging about it, donate money to the Equal Life Foundation and let you creativity go wild about the ways of how you can support and share the EMS message. But wait, you can then go even further. In time you will realize that just sharing the message is not enough. Yes, the Equal Money System is the political solution, but it needs to be understood and supported by majority of the people for what it truly is. It is not just about convincing people using beautiful words and getting them to become positively emotional about the EMS. Equal Money is not just another political party or opposition, it is about understanding that we are all part of the same existence and that we can live here and be fully supported from birth to death only if we remove all that separate us from one another and blind us from understanding how we created this reality.

And this is why everyone will also have to transform what is deep inside us. I am here referring to thoughts and emotions which is all the energy of the mind. EMS is the vision of the new world, but in order to make this vision true, we all need to change our patterns of thinking and acting. See, you can not expect to change the output if you do not change the input. So part of the Equal Money System is also the education where you are introduced with knowledge and information about how you mind works and how you can become aware about all your subconscious and unconscious patterns and how to remove those that are the points of separation and conflict by applying simple tools of Breath, Self-Honesty, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application. There is a lot of free information and forum on Desteni web site, and if you want to go hard-core, then you are invited to join the Desteni I Process self-realisation and leadership development course at > desteniiprocess.com where you will be systematically guided and supported by personal mentor in order to go all the way, deep into the "rabit hole".

Think this is all you can do? Wrong! There is much, much more than you can imagine. Yes, you can go even more crazy about it. You can start studying psychology or political sciences and become well educated about how current system works. See, it will take many dedicated and trustworthy people who will go to politics and push the Equal Money System agenda towards full execution. Thus making Equal Money System a reality can become your full occupation. There is a lot of work that needs to be done before we stop destruction of this planet and create something similar to Heaven on Earth. Many details need to be discussed, billions of people to get educated and huge amounts of laws to be changed. It will take at least 10 to 20 years to start with major changes and several generations to put all necessary points into place. So let's roll, let's do it here and now! We can do it, all the support is available, it needs only the rest to join and become one with life, with the principle of equality and start doing what is best for all.
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