Day 182: Al-one and One-ness

During the process of self-realization, I have been aligning myself with the principle of oneness and equality. I comprehend this principle as the fact that existence is one (singular) and consequently, everything that exists is part of the existence and connected to it. Thus any sensation that perceives any part of existence as separate (unconnected) to the totality of existence is an illusion of separation. Thus also I who is perceiving my human physical body as something separate in this physical existence am also under the influence of such illusion. Before I came to that realization I have been driven by the illusional character of someone that needs to constantly impress others by discovering and sharing secret knowledge and information. However, the consequence of becoming self-aware that I can actually never exist as a manifestation of separation has been losing interest to do anything particular in order to protect my illusion of separation or to create even more illusional separate parts by having children of my own.

However, consciously using logic as the base for the realization that separation can in fact not exist has not resulted in also automatically removing the perception of separation via the senses of my human physical body. And I also do not have the ability to leave my human physical body by my own will. Sleeping does in a way temporarily disconnect me from the perception of being in the physical body however whenever I wake up I still find myself in it. Thus I am facing a decision about how to function in this physical world until the perception of me being in my current physical body ends for good. The main thing that I am occupying myself with is maintaining my awareness of oneness and equality in every single moment. Which practically means to stop any distraction of my mind in the form of thoughts end energetic reactions that tempt me into losing my awareness. And to also stop any influence by anything and anyone that I perceive as being outside of my human physical body and equally tempt me to persuade that separation is real.

Related Eqafe audios:
Inversion to Oneness with The Universe
You are me in another life
Purpose and Creation
My Relationship with Aloneness
Creator or Created
Individuality & Equality
Location of Existential Physical Process
It is Not About Oneness but About Living

Day 147: Wondering about the meaning of life

In the last several weeks I have been struggling with decision what to do. Obviously there are things that I am able to do in the context of existing in this dimension of time and space via my human physical body. However in terms of taking full responsibility for the long term consequences of every single decision that I make to all existence I am lacking the capacity to see all outflow of events. Not only that, but if I consider other dimensions of existence beyond or outside of this time and space, it is even harder to comprehend the meaning of life. Or even to define what life is and what everything that exist is. It is a philosophical dilemma regarding the core meaning and functioning of existence.

This experience of mine is obviously related to my tendency of wanting to do things perfectly, to do it right, which is also related to the fear of being criticised by others in case of doing something wrong. And the qualities that disable me from doing it right is related to ability of knowing or remembering everything that happened in the past in the whole existence which begs the question why forgetfulness exists, how memory functions, is it actually possible to erase memory and forget and finally, if it is not possible, how is came that I experience something that is actually not possible? How can truth/reality exist while lies/illusion also exist? Because I am becoming tired to hear some information which is presented as truth and after some time it is being exposed as lies and deception. This creates experience in me of being very sad and disappointed about the whole existence of such polarity and I am questioning the purpose of it and the origin of its creation. It is related to so much suffering, pain and destruction. However on the other hand if this is only a temporary experience and just an illusion and projection, like a movie, why giving it much attention since it is not real?

Such questions came to me since I watched several movies where such existential points have been integral part of the script and they obviously carry and important message. The other major influence have been videos by Dave Schmidt where he talks about Annunakis, UFOs, aliens, history of this planet, power of gold, separation, duality, global money system and many other related points from a very detailed and interesting perspectives. Since some information shared are not aligned with other sources, I am here again questioning what information is correct and which is wrong. However due to limited time that I have in this dimension of existence and other limitations, is is very hard to verify all the information and nothing can be trusted, even my own memories that also proved to be inaccurate many times before. So the only think that I can do is to move based on how the existence manifest itself in my close proximity and interact with it using my human physical body or I can decide not to act or do anything at all.

Other component that describe me is patience or lack thereof. Meaning that I want all to be done immediately and when I hit the wall, I go into experience of disappointment and wanting to give up. Basically I experience myself as many entities are pulling myself constantly to all kind of directions, each of them persuading me that their path is the best. So I am asking myself in what direction should I move or what is the point of moving at all considering the possibility that by every movement in any directions I am actually distancing myself from self. Thus, considering that this picture manifested reality is just a projection of illusion that can in fact not exist, why should I participate in it at all. However despite considering not to participate in it, am I able to end it and how, and what will then exist and how will I experience myself and define the meaning of my existence if I actually do end it? Such thinking makes me tired and it create tendency to distract myself with something in order not needing to face with such questions and decision.

Other philosophical question is also the concept of one and many. This relates to conclusion that origin of all the existence is one single point from which many individualised forms of entities separated and came into existence. Thus what is my purpose and existential history as one of such individualised forms of entities any my relationship to the source and other entities that I experience as separated from myself? And then again, if we have come to existence as many from one and are now returning back to one, what is the point of returning if that one will again decide to become many and again create the separation? And finally, how the one came into existence or what is the origin of the one? Is it actually possible to understand the existence or must we accept that there simply are things that no one, even the one is able to understand? Because explanation can only exist in relation to question and using the concepts of space and time. Then also, can a question come to existence if the one who is asking the question does not already know the answer in order to decide if the answer received is truth or false? Since what is the point of asking if the knowing of the truth does not already exist within the one who is asking?

Thus, using logic that everyone of many is part of one, pretending that is separate and forgotten that all is one, thus I see no other option to understand that I am also part of the one and thus the one itself, who has separated into many due to let's say loneliness in order to play or masturbate with itself in the dream and illusion of something that it is fact impossible to exist. And I as the one have also created a opponent, the voices as thoughts of my mind and energies of emotions and feelings that challenge me constantly and try to keep me in this state of delusion as long as I decide not to face them and recognise them also as my own creation. So I am here, facing myself and wondering if I should forgive myself this separation that I am existing in or not. Because what is the point of removing the separation and returning into oneness if I will then become bored again and initiate another cycle of separation? Is it then not best to just keep this separation going and experiencing this dream and make it into something?

But then if I decide to keep and continuously mould this existence of separation, what should I do with it? What again should be the reference point of making any decision? Well, obviously I as current individualised entity as someone in this human physical body do not want to experience any lack and pain. So I will move myself towards defining my strengths and weaknesses and improving them in order to expand my abilities and interacting with others with awareness of equality and oneness. Thus I will be playing this game of lies until all veil of deception fall and the truth will finally become visible to all.

In relation to this blog post, I invite you to assist also yourself with awesome self-assisting tools within free online DIP Lite course and to listen to educational audios titled Questioning Life from the Life Review series at Eqafe web store with hundreds of extremely supportive educational items that hold answers to any imaginable question about life and this existence.

Day 61: Illusion of everything is OK

It is interesting, how many people that I spoke to would like to live quiet simple life, without caring for others. They say that others have their own karma and they need their own experiences in order to grow. And the bigger the life struggles, the bigger the motivation to change and improve life. This is mostly true, since some are like in a state of sleep and unaware of what is going on on this world until some big problem happens.

But can't here be another way? Why can not take care for each other in spite living a relative great life? The mind energies of good feelings and limited range of our human senses keeps us in the state of separation and not realizing the consequences of our actions. And so much distractions, like TV, radio, ads, magazines and other people who want attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be in state of contentment due to illusion of separation and resting and doing nothing much to change in this world and thus allowing the cycle of invisible abuse to continue.

I commit myself to constantly be aware of the real situation and motivate myself to move myself towards creating the world system where a dignified life for all will be guaranteed.

Day 24: I decided to brake up with my girlfriend

In the previous post of this blog I wrote how the visit of my good friend opened up my eyes and assisted me in becoming aware how detrimental a relationship is where your partner is constantly telling you that it can not be done, that you will not succeed, that money is root of all evil and a lot of similar limiting and unsupportive claims. One can try consciously telling itself that these statements are not true, however when hearing them every single day for several times, they slip to the subconscious and unconscious mind and start to sabotage you without being aware of.

Yesterday I decided to have a talk with my girlfriend and told her that I suggest to part. She agreed and told me that she also expected me to come to this decision sooner or later since she also was not very committed to our relationships and desired a different lifestyle. I am planning to prepare myself for political an leadership activities and I need a capable and supportive partner who does want the same. However my girlfriend did not want even to dress different, but was always in casual new age clothes and wanted to live without any big responsibilities in the nature and do some agriculture or similar activities.

Our relationship was beneficial for both of us, we learned and realized a lot. I gain experience about how is to be fully physically loved and accepted and I saved here from previous violent relationship and showed her how man can communicate and act peacefully. However now is time to move one. I need a more supportive environment, friends who build me up, who see the solutions instead of problems, who realize that each one of us has power to achieve incredible things and that with dedication and focus we can relatively quickly turn this world into what is best for all.

So today my girlfriend is moving out to her parents place and will focus on finishing the exams for her high school of cosmetics before she graduates in one or two months. My business will thus also stop offering her massage services and I will from now on focus on counseling, educational and informational products that support life. I plan to develop my connections with groups of successful and responsible people that I have been involved in and use my time and abilities to create as big social impact as possible.

I see what are my next challenges and there are a lot of mountains to climb yet. I am looking forward to transform myself to more open, collaborative and successful person, meet new people, expand my perspective and activate unlimited potentials that await me. There are people out there with mentality that speed up creative process to unimaginable levels and there are possibilities that no one would ever dream of.

Day 23: Toxic relationship

Days 21 and 22 are in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday I good female friend came to a visit for a business presentation of the new product that I am selling. It was agreed that I do the presentation also for my girlfriend at the same time. While doing presentation, my girlfriend made a few remarks in relation to my presentation that I did not find very constructive and supportive. But instead of me saying anything to her about that, it was a visiting friends who initiated quite extensive dialogue with my girlfriend and reflected her extremely negative, mediocre and unsupportive attitude.

Later the visiting friend shared her story about how she recently decided to brake up with her boyfriends since he was pulling her down. Before she met him, she had no problem earning a lot of money, however after meeting her boyfriend, her ability to keep money wend down extremely fast. Her boyfriend constantly programmed her with believed that having money is bad, that all rich man are crooked and that it is best to live simple natural life without need to have a lot of money.

Her boyfriend had opinion that he is just being realistic, that his opinion is total true and this influenced also his girlfriend. She tried everything possible to keep her head above the water, but even though she had been aware that money by itself is just a tool, on the unconscious level she adopted the mind patterns of her boyfriend to the extent where she lost the ability to create and attract money. Only after she broke up, she was able to clear the limiting believes that she accepted from his boyfriend and now the money started to accumulate again in her life.

That story made me also consider relationship with my girlfriend. I can easily conclude that she has extremely limiting believes about money and wealth and that she definitely influences me unconsciously. There is also a strong correlation between the time where she entered my life and the time where I started to loose my customers and ability to earn money. It has also been strange to me why all the extensive marketing that I made for my end her business services had no effect and why almost all customers came just once and never returned. I gave her to distribute hundreds of promotional flyers and not even one person called yet.

I am asking myself what is holding me in relationship with my girlfriend and why am I allowing all this destructive and limiting influence. There are definitely things that I like about my girlfriend, like the way she admires me, mostly my body attributes, how we enjoy sex, and how we both tend to research secrets of life. However she is a very stubborn person and every feedback or perspective that I express to her, she accepts as personal attack, does not engage in constructive dialogue, but just fights back and protects her current thinking and behavior patterns without any willingness to change.

When reflecting her patterns of constant criticism of others, exposing only the negative perspective, feeling sorry for herself and fearing of loosing money, she did not consider this as opportunity to change, but started to protect her ego by telling me and others that we are the negatives and that she will not allow to be yelled at and tolled what to do. She consideres herself as a brave working and totally honest girl, who does the best. It is just others who simply do not understand her and see her inner beauty.

I supported her for almost 4 year now, mentally and finically and waited and waited until she would be ready to start her process of inner transformation. She read a lot of spiritual books and told me, how Osho basically saved her life due to constant strong mantal attacks from her parents. I have met her parents and experienced myself extreme level of verbal abuse that she had been exposed to. I admire how she in spite of all the shit that she took in her life, she is relatively sane. However within the context of our relationship where I push myself extremely to transcend my own limiting mind patterns, she is the one that does not want to do the process and is pulling me down.

When entering any relationship I understand that there are some issues by harmonizing the lives of two people who have been living separate and are now together. There is always a question about what is the reason for mutual attraction, what inherited behavior patterns to tolerate and when to see that the magnitude of destructive behavior is too high for a long lasting harmonious relationship. I decided that in my case this tipping point has been reached and I will not longer tolerate the current ways of interaction with my girlfriend. Yesterday's visit opened my eyes. I see now that I have been compromising myself by allowing a person in my life with too limiting mind patterns.

I have been tolerating mental abuse from my girlfriend for too long and this also reflects on my ability to sell my products and earn enough money to cover my monthly expenses. I can simply no longer afford to go even more in debt. I understand that my believes are my responsibility and I am doing my process in order to transcending them, however my girlfriend is obviously influencing me to that extend that she is able to program me with limiting believes faster that I am able to clear them out. I want a more supportive relationship that would not be based only on some sweet words and physical admiration, but deep mutual understanding and willingness to change extensively in order to not only create a harmonious relationship, but also change the world system to what is best for all.