2012 My first introduction of self-forgiveness experience

At Desteni we walk the process of self-realization where we use some tools in order to clear our minds from accepted and allowed points of separation. One of basic tools is called self-forgiveness and I am going to explain here what this tool is about, how it works and how it influenced my life.

I have been testing many self-realisation practices from about year 2000 after I broke up with my first girlfriends and wanted to find out why that happened. I read hundreds of books on personal relationship, psychology, spirituality and metaphysics in order to understand how human mind works. At that time also an itching rush developed on my skin around genital area that started to itch whenever I experienced a conflict situation. I thus also researched Western, Traditional and Alternative medicine.

Many specialist from Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine examined me and prescribed drugs and some practices with no effects. Also many expensive Reiki and Angelic healers had no power to assist me. Even after many years of Yoga, Meditation and Tai Chi practice nothing changed. The same was with my involvement in Buddhist and Hare Krishna religious groups and participation on many Rainbow and Holistic camps. Couple of regressions in my previous lives, Numerological and Jyotish astrological analysis produced the same blank results.

It was only in year 2009 after I firstly joined Structural Resonance Course where I begun to understood how mind-consciousness system works, how the emotional energies are produced when I saw the potencial to create some real change in my life. I found out that the rush on my skin is the manifested consequence of my own allowed and accepted believes of separation that destroy my physical body with the energies of the mind. And I learned also that I am able to become aware of those believes with assistance of writing and that I am able to defuse them by using the tool of self-forgiveness.

When I was firstly introduces to these knowledge and tools, I knew that this is the key that I have been searching for my whole life. Many things have been presented to me before with promise of salvation, but it was all deception. Here at Desteni there is no single deception and it is all about oneness and equality for real. I was able to finally realize that there is no one outside of me who is guilty of what I am experiencing in my life and that there is no one outside who can save me. I have created my experience and only I can change my experience.

So I started to walk the process of self-honesty and using the self-forgiveness in my daily life. Whenever I would experience energetic reaction inside me, I would stop, search for the definition of separation that was in conflict with reality that I experienced and I would forgive myself this illusional definition. Soon my skin condition improved and I can tell you that self-forgiveness works like magic. However, here is no magic, no tricks, it is just clear understanding of how mind works and taking full self-responsibility for your creation. In just few months my problems went away faster than all fake old and new age practices in past ten years combined.

But one has to undersand that the process of self-realisation takes many years even using this tool of self-forgiveness. There are many layers of conscious, subconscious and unconscious layers of the mind to be walked. After digging deeper and deeper some new reactions of vertigo and nausea appeared recently and I also started noticing many tiny subconscious skin irritations that I will yet have to remove. However due to extreme ease of use and massive effectiveness of Desteni tools like breathing, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, I recommend everyone to start using and applying these magnificent tools as soon as possible.

Forgiveness is deception since it is you who create resentment towards others due to self-accepted and allowed definitions of separation and polarity oppositions. Thus you can not forgive anyone but yourself for deceiving yourself and blaming others for what you have created and projected onto others. All the problems in this world will be solved if we take it all back to self. We are the creators, but thus far we blamed others for what we created. Only when we take back self-responsibility for what we created, we regain ability to change this reality so that we can all live here a dignified life, full of abundance and real freedom of self-expression for all. Join us!
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2012 - How I was Able to Hear the Desteni Message

My path of intensive self-realisation started in year 2000, when my first girlfriend with whom I lived together for 3 years left me on my big surprise. I was left in my own apartment, with recently started own business of graphic design and photography, so I had a lot of time and motivation to start a research what is going on in people's heads.

In the next 10 years I read hundreds of books on human relations, psychology, afterlife, spirituality, religion, new age, healing and metaphysics, visited many spiritual teachers, gurus, healers, religious groups and attended numerous seminars, camps, gatherings, fairs and related events. Thus I accumulated a lot of knowledge, experiences and realisations.

It was in fall of 2009 when I had a terrible accident while returning from a business meeting in late night. In darkness I overlooked an escarpment, fall very hard on my stomach, and punched my spleen. They immediately put me on surgery and removed my spleen. I was one of the lucky ones who had two spleens, so I had no problems by removing one of them. For 2 weeks I recovered in the hospital and then I continued with the healing process at my home.

While recovering on sofa in my living room, I amused myself with searching and watching for new age content on the net. One day, while I was browsing spiritual videos on YouTube I stumbled upon very unusual videos. There was some young figure, age about 20 with short blond hair, who spoke in video interviews and deeply exhaled and inhaled in the beginning and at the end of every video interview. Strange was also that this person used different name each time when introduced himself in the beginning of the video, right after first deep exhalation and inhalation.

What attracted me the most was the message that came through this interviews. It explained a lot of thing about dimensional existence, aliens, chakras, angels, demons, gods and the history of universe and human race. The message was very common sensical to me and explained more in detail everything about his existence and afterlife than every book or video that I read and watched so far. I became obsessed with watching this video interviews and watched them for several months, from morning to evening. There were thousand of them and I consumed them with great pleasure.

I noticed that this videos were from the same YouTube channel and that all had a web address at the end of the video, directing to Desteni web site. So after hundres hours of watching this Desteni videos, I decided to check the web site in order to see who was producing them. I found there even more interesting written material and the forum. I registered on Desteni forum, introduced myself and started the communication with the people there. They introduced me with the process of writing and self-honesty, so slowly it was also I who started to produce blogs and vlogs and begun sharing my and Desteni contend on the FaceBook.

Many however reacted to shared Desteni material extensively and this is for several reasons. Some did not have enough experiences to compare the information and see that Desteni is about equality and what is best for all, and there were also the light workers, rainbow warriors and religious fanatics, who preferred to hold onto their own beliefs and self-created good feelings and did not want to understand what was the core problem for all the suffering in this world. I time I slowly begun to understand, that only few people will be able to grasp the Desteni message and join the joint effort of establishing Equal Money System that will guarantee a dignified life for all living beings on this planet equally.

I am very thankful to Bernard, Sunette, Esteni, Andrea and all others who started the research and initiated the process of applying effective and practical solutions for the problems in this world. And I invite all the people who have at least one pinch of compassion left in them, to join people from all over the world who stand up strong and firm for equality and what is best for all. Stop living in alternative reality of your mind, become a Destonian, start breathing, bring yourself here and become one and equal with all life!
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2011 - My grandmother > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

This is the excerpt of my finished and approved Advanced Mind Construct assignment of the third most influential person in my life as part of self-realisation online coaching program 'Desteni I Process' where we face our accepted and allowed subconscious mind patterns that trigger immediate emotional reactions. In the first step, called 'Ranting and Raving' we write down everything that comes on our minds about topic that we currently walk. Then in the following two steps, called 'Paragraphs' and 'Skeleton' we narrow the amount of information in order to expose the main points, and in the next three steps, called 'Memories', 'Components' and 'Self-Forgiveness with Self-Corrective statements', we expand by digging deep into our minds, expose all secret memories, identify the forms of our self-deception within these memories and finally defuse those emotional triggers by taking full self-responsibility with tool of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements.

Step 1 > Ranting & Raving:

My grandmother was a very big protector for me. My grandfather died a few years ago, so she has been living alone since then. She is a very active lady, constantly doing something, assisting other people, involved in the senior club, and she is a great cook. I used to come and visit her for a weekend, usually at Fridays or Saturdays at the evening, and she would prepare me a great feast. She constantly baked cookies and cakes, and when I would arrive, she would prepare me fried potato chips, fried chicken or fish and green leaves salad, since I preferred those dishes the most. I would just lie on the sofa, and she would cook for me with great joy. In the mean time, I would watch movies, since I did not have a TV set at home, and I would watch them until early in the morning. Then I would spend the night at her place and the next morning I would go home.

About three years ago she fell and broke some major bone and had a great pain and needed assistance. Since no one of us had time to assist her all the time, we decided to be the best to sell her apartment and to move her to the retirement home. She fully recovered now and is active again. Now she lives in a room with some other old lady who has trouble walking, and she is assisting her. Since now she does not have a kitchen of her own, she assists in the retirement home kitchen and she collects and is given some food as award and she then saves it for me. Lately I come to see her at Sundays and pick her up at 8:30 after the breakfast. We put all the food for me and also for others from her religious group in the bags, and then we usually go to visit the grave of my mother/her daughter who committed suicide two years ago. We tidy up the gravestone and light some candles. Then we go to my place where I pick the food for me from the bags and put in into the fridge, and in the meanwhile she visits her friend in the neighborhood or irons my laundry.

At 10:00 I drive her to the next village where she joins her Jehovah Witnesses religious group. My grandmother has much resentment towards my father since she believes that he used all the money from selling her apartment for his own needs, and she also resents my brother for being such nasty towards me. But I encourage her to forgive herself all that judgments and live here in peace with everyone. My father does not want to eat any food that she bring from the retirement home since it is basically forbidden to transport the food out of the retirement home, but she can not help herself to stop doing this. So I allow her to feel as someone who can support me a bit, and I am also thankful since I do not need to buy much food in the store. I though have a bit of a bad feeling since it is forbidden to transport food out of the retirement home

Step 6 > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to grandfather’s behavior due to my expectation that he must behave nicely and speak polite to his wife, instead of realizing that every expectation or ideal of how one must behave is a believe, accepted from other people, and that however someone behaves, I must not emotionally react but breathe and stay here.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my grandfather’s behavior to his experience of suffering in the Dachau concentration camp and defining his behavior as self-pity, instead of realizing that whenever I made any assumption that someone is behaving in regards to his past experiences is my own created believe and it has nothing to do with the actual someone’s expression in this moment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry when my grandmother offered me the meat dish while I was a vegetarian instead of realizing that if someone offers me some dish that I do not want to eat, it is up to me to decline it while remaining stable inside and that there has never have to be any reason for any emotional reaction.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose motivation while explaining my grandmother my perspective about the diet, instead of remaining patient and stable within, breathing effectively and continue with explanation until she will finally get it.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become inpatient with my grandmother since I defined her as too old and incapable of understanding what I am saying, instead of realizing that it will take a lot of time and enormous patience in order for everyone to understand the principles of self-responsibility and what takes to practically manifest heaven on earth.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decline the food from the starting point of proving who is right and wrong and trying to prove that I am right, instead of realizing that the only valid judge if the food is appropriate for me is my physical body and it is best for me to listen to my physical senses and eat whatever and whenever my eye, nose and tongue indicate that some food is good for me.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the senses of my physical body are not valid and that I need to pick my diet based on what other people and books tell me is right, instead of realizing that we all have unique body, that there is no diet that is best for all, and that is best to ask my physical body to tell me what food is the most suitable for me.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I decided to eat fish and defining this as my grandmother winning over me instead of realizing that if I decide something, based on what is best for me, it does not meter who gave the suggestion to do that, and that there is no reason to have any good od bad feelings, but just to accept this decision and remain here.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine how my grandmother is selling the batteries to her clients and how she enjoys doing that, instead of realizing that whatever I imagine in my mind is self-deception, a lie, and has nothing to do with the actual events end experiences of other people within these events, thus it is best not to imagine anything anytime and ask about the exact actual facts.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feelings of envy in regards to imaginative activities of my grandmother, instead of realizing that any created feelings towards people in my imagination is double self-deception, and that even in real life I should never compare myself to anyone and not allow any feelings and emotions towards anyone since they are all the result of separation.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate my grandmother’s activities and her benefits in regards to that activities and wanting to do the same things in order to gain the similar benefits, instead of realizing that whenever I compare myself to anyone, I separate myself from what is here and loose myself in the mind, thus it is best to always only observe other people’s activities, breathe effectively and remain here without allowing any thoughts or desires.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about what benefits will I receive when grandmother gives me something, instead of simply accepting things from anyone if I can practically use them and then store them and use them whenever I need them, without going in my mind and thinking about all possible scenarios in relation to things that are given to me.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid if someone would stop while carrying the bag full of food that grandmother gave me due to perception that my life is depended on the food in the bag and that if someone will stop me, my life will get compromised, instead of realizing that I have enough money to buy me plenty of food to survive, and even if I am prevented to receive the food from my grandmother, I will still be fine.
    
    
14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad about breaking the rule of the food not being allowed to be transported outside the senior home, instead of realizing that I have never actually checked if this rule is really in place, and that since everyone in the senior home is allowing my mother to pick and collect the food, they are obviously allowing her to do with the food whatever she wants, and that if I am braking any rule, I will only know that if someone will inform me that my actions are not allowed, so there is nothing for me to actually having to worry about.
    
    
15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admire my grandmother for her actions, defining them as generous, and becoming envious about her, instead of realizing that actions of people are just actions that bring consequences and I am also capable of performing any actions the same as anyone else, so it best not to define others and their actions as something more than me an my actions, but to remain stale within and do my self-movement towards what is best for all.
    
    
16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prevent my grandmother to do my laundry due to my created belief that I will this way over-exploit her and that she better rests due to her advance age, instead of realizing that whenever someone wants to assist me, I can simply allow the assistance since it will relief some of my jobs, and not allow myself any definitions about what others are capable on not capable of doing.
    
    
17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do everything for myself in order to feel good, instead of realizing that this way I am limiting my expansion, so it is better to start collaborating with others in order to make much more things done.
    
    
18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my grandmother has over-criticized my mother and is thus responsible for the suicide of my mother/her daughter, instead of realizing that each one of us is responsible for what we accept and allow and thus my mother is the only who is responsible for allowing and accepting the thoughts and feelings that eventually made her to commit suicide.
    
    
19. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel responsible for my grandmother to forgive herself all the feelings of blame towards my mother, father and brother, instead of realizing that there is nothing more that I can do besides explaining her how we are all responsible for our thoughts, feelings and emotions and teaching her by my own example of remaining here, stable within and never giving up on anyone.
    
    
20. When I want to express my perspective to someone, I understand that I others can get to understanding only when I became one and equal with them and explain them as I would like to have explained if I was in their shoes, so I remain here, with unlimited patience, and explain the points slowly and clearly until people reach full understanding of what I want to communicate.
    
    
21. When I am offered food, I look it with my eyes, I smell it with my nose, I taste it with my tongue and then accept it if I find it appropriate for my human physical body and if I am hungry in that moment, other wise I decline the food without while remaining here and stable within.
    
    
22. When I am in doubt if I am breaking some rule or law, I do not allow myself in the state of doubt, but check the rules and laws until I am totally clear what they demand from me and then I walk within this system without breaking any laws and agreements and slowly change the system and laws as one and equal with the system and remove or change the rules so that the system starts to support everyone equally and becomes manifestation of environment that is best for all.
    
    
23. When I see someone doing something, I observe the physical actions and pictures moving in front of my eyes while remaining stable within, one and equal with the person that I observe and keep my awareness that what others do, I would be able to do the same if I would be in their bodes, but since we have different bodies, we have all different physical abilities, but are all equal in terms of unlimited expression within current limitations of our physical bodies.
    
    
24. When someone offers to physically and practically assist me, I accept the assistance while breathing effectively and remaining here with understanding that if I have some things that need to be done, it is supportive if someone assists me and thus saves my time to do those things, since it is not important who does what, as long every single action is the result of self-expression and executed with use of principle of equality of all living beings.
    
    
25. When I notice that some being is harming other I do not allow the abuse and take actions in order to stop the abuse, while being careful that I am one and equal with the being that I want to stop from being abusive in order for the being to be able to understand the consequences of its actions, accept self-responsibility and correct itself towards not harming others anymore.

So if you wish to become emotionally stable, please research 'Desteni I Process' online program that will teach you how to become self-honest and responsible human being that acts upon principles of equality of all living beings and does what is best for all. And if you decide to assist others in this process, you can become and agent and eventually a buddy and thus earn a lot of money. If you want me to assist you in this process, enter my name 'Valentin Rozman' and my student number '140' when you register. Let us all become better human beings and create heaven on earth!
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