2011 - My grandmother > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

This is the excerpt of my finished and approved Advanced Mind Construct assignment of the third most influential person in my life as part of self-realisation online coaching program 'Desteni I Process' where we face our accepted and allowed subconscious mind patterns that trigger immediate emotional reactions. In the first step, called 'Ranting and Raving' we write down everything that comes on our minds about topic that we currently walk. Then in the following two steps, called 'Paragraphs' and 'Skeleton' we narrow the amount of information in order to expose the main points, and in the next three steps, called 'Memories', 'Components' and 'Self-Forgiveness with Self-Corrective statements', we expand by digging deep into our minds, expose all secret memories, identify the forms of our self-deception within these memories and finally defuse those emotional triggers by taking full self-responsibility with tool of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements.

Step 1 > Ranting & Raving:

My grandmother was a very big protector for me. My grandfather died a few years ago, so she has been living alone since then. She is a very active lady, constantly doing something, assisting other people, involved in the senior club, and she is a great cook. I used to come and visit her for a weekend, usually at Fridays or Saturdays at the evening, and she would prepare me a great feast. She constantly baked cookies and cakes, and when I would arrive, she would prepare me fried potato chips, fried chicken or fish and green leaves salad, since I preferred those dishes the most. I would just lie on the sofa, and she would cook for me with great joy. In the mean time, I would watch movies, since I did not have a TV set at home, and I would watch them until early in the morning. Then I would spend the night at her place and the next morning I would go home.

About three years ago she fell and broke some major bone and had a great pain and needed assistance. Since no one of us had time to assist her all the time, we decided to be the best to sell her apartment and to move her to the retirement home. She fully recovered now and is active again. Now she lives in a room with some other old lady who has trouble walking, and she is assisting her. Since now she does not have a kitchen of her own, she assists in the retirement home kitchen and she collects and is given some food as award and she then saves it for me. Lately I come to see her at Sundays and pick her up at 8:30 after the breakfast. We put all the food for me and also for others from her religious group in the bags, and then we usually go to visit the grave of my mother/her daughter who committed suicide two years ago. We tidy up the gravestone and light some candles. Then we go to my place where I pick the food for me from the bags and put in into the fridge, and in the meanwhile she visits her friend in the neighborhood or irons my laundry.

At 10:00 I drive her to the next village where she joins her Jehovah Witnesses religious group. My grandmother has much resentment towards my father since she believes that he used all the money from selling her apartment for his own needs, and she also resents my brother for being such nasty towards me. But I encourage her to forgive herself all that judgments and live here in peace with everyone. My father does not want to eat any food that she bring from the retirement home since it is basically forbidden to transport the food out of the retirement home, but she can not help herself to stop doing this. So I allow her to feel as someone who can support me a bit, and I am also thankful since I do not need to buy much food in the store. I though have a bit of a bad feeling since it is forbidden to transport food out of the retirement home

Step 6 > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to grandfather’s behavior due to my expectation that he must behave nicely and speak polite to his wife, instead of realizing that every expectation or ideal of how one must behave is a believe, accepted from other people, and that however someone behaves, I must not emotionally react but breathe and stay here.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my grandfather’s behavior to his experience of suffering in the Dachau concentration camp and defining his behavior as self-pity, instead of realizing that whenever I made any assumption that someone is behaving in regards to his past experiences is my own created believe and it has nothing to do with the actual someone’s expression in this moment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry when my grandmother offered me the meat dish while I was a vegetarian instead of realizing that if someone offers me some dish that I do not want to eat, it is up to me to decline it while remaining stable inside and that there has never have to be any reason for any emotional reaction.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose motivation while explaining my grandmother my perspective about the diet, instead of remaining patient and stable within, breathing effectively and continue with explanation until she will finally get it.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become inpatient with my grandmother since I defined her as too old and incapable of understanding what I am saying, instead of realizing that it will take a lot of time and enormous patience in order for everyone to understand the principles of self-responsibility and what takes to practically manifest heaven on earth.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decline the food from the starting point of proving who is right and wrong and trying to prove that I am right, instead of realizing that the only valid judge if the food is appropriate for me is my physical body and it is best for me to listen to my physical senses and eat whatever and whenever my eye, nose and tongue indicate that some food is good for me.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the senses of my physical body are not valid and that I need to pick my diet based on what other people and books tell me is right, instead of realizing that we all have unique body, that there is no diet that is best for all, and that is best to ask my physical body to tell me what food is the most suitable for me.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I decided to eat fish and defining this as my grandmother winning over me instead of realizing that if I decide something, based on what is best for me, it does not meter who gave the suggestion to do that, and that there is no reason to have any good od bad feelings, but just to accept this decision and remain here.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine how my grandmother is selling the batteries to her clients and how she enjoys doing that, instead of realizing that whatever I imagine in my mind is self-deception, a lie, and has nothing to do with the actual events end experiences of other people within these events, thus it is best not to imagine anything anytime and ask about the exact actual facts.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feelings of envy in regards to imaginative activities of my grandmother, instead of realizing that any created feelings towards people in my imagination is double self-deception, and that even in real life I should never compare myself to anyone and not allow any feelings and emotions towards anyone since they are all the result of separation.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate my grandmother’s activities and her benefits in regards to that activities and wanting to do the same things in order to gain the similar benefits, instead of realizing that whenever I compare myself to anyone, I separate myself from what is here and loose myself in the mind, thus it is best to always only observe other people’s activities, breathe effectively and remain here without allowing any thoughts or desires.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about what benefits will I receive when grandmother gives me something, instead of simply accepting things from anyone if I can practically use them and then store them and use them whenever I need them, without going in my mind and thinking about all possible scenarios in relation to things that are given to me.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid if someone would stop while carrying the bag full of food that grandmother gave me due to perception that my life is depended on the food in the bag and that if someone will stop me, my life will get compromised, instead of realizing that I have enough money to buy me plenty of food to survive, and even if I am prevented to receive the food from my grandmother, I will still be fine.
    
    
14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad about breaking the rule of the food not being allowed to be transported outside the senior home, instead of realizing that I have never actually checked if this rule is really in place, and that since everyone in the senior home is allowing my mother to pick and collect the food, they are obviously allowing her to do with the food whatever she wants, and that if I am braking any rule, I will only know that if someone will inform me that my actions are not allowed, so there is nothing for me to actually having to worry about.
    
    
15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admire my grandmother for her actions, defining them as generous, and becoming envious about her, instead of realizing that actions of people are just actions that bring consequences and I am also capable of performing any actions the same as anyone else, so it best not to define others and their actions as something more than me an my actions, but to remain stale within and do my self-movement towards what is best for all.
    
    
16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prevent my grandmother to do my laundry due to my created belief that I will this way over-exploit her and that she better rests due to her advance age, instead of realizing that whenever someone wants to assist me, I can simply allow the assistance since it will relief some of my jobs, and not allow myself any definitions about what others are capable on not capable of doing.
    
    
17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do everything for myself in order to feel good, instead of realizing that this way I am limiting my expansion, so it is better to start collaborating with others in order to make much more things done.
    
    
18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my grandmother has over-criticized my mother and is thus responsible for the suicide of my mother/her daughter, instead of realizing that each one of us is responsible for what we accept and allow and thus my mother is the only who is responsible for allowing and accepting the thoughts and feelings that eventually made her to commit suicide.
    
    
19. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel responsible for my grandmother to forgive herself all the feelings of blame towards my mother, father and brother, instead of realizing that there is nothing more that I can do besides explaining her how we are all responsible for our thoughts, feelings and emotions and teaching her by my own example of remaining here, stable within and never giving up on anyone.
    
    
20. When I want to express my perspective to someone, I understand that I others can get to understanding only when I became one and equal with them and explain them as I would like to have explained if I was in their shoes, so I remain here, with unlimited patience, and explain the points slowly and clearly until people reach full understanding of what I want to communicate.
    
    
21. When I am offered food, I look it with my eyes, I smell it with my nose, I taste it with my tongue and then accept it if I find it appropriate for my human physical body and if I am hungry in that moment, other wise I decline the food without while remaining here and stable within.
    
    
22. When I am in doubt if I am breaking some rule or law, I do not allow myself in the state of doubt, but check the rules and laws until I am totally clear what they demand from me and then I walk within this system without breaking any laws and agreements and slowly change the system and laws as one and equal with the system and remove or change the rules so that the system starts to support everyone equally and becomes manifestation of environment that is best for all.
    
    
23. When I see someone doing something, I observe the physical actions and pictures moving in front of my eyes while remaining stable within, one and equal with the person that I observe and keep my awareness that what others do, I would be able to do the same if I would be in their bodes, but since we have different bodies, we have all different physical abilities, but are all equal in terms of unlimited expression within current limitations of our physical bodies.
    
    
24. When someone offers to physically and practically assist me, I accept the assistance while breathing effectively and remaining here with understanding that if I have some things that need to be done, it is supportive if someone assists me and thus saves my time to do those things, since it is not important who does what, as long every single action is the result of self-expression and executed with use of principle of equality of all living beings.
    
    
25. When I notice that some being is harming other I do not allow the abuse and take actions in order to stop the abuse, while being careful that I am one and equal with the being that I want to stop from being abusive in order for the being to be able to understand the consequences of its actions, accept self-responsibility and correct itself towards not harming others anymore.

So if you wish to become emotionally stable, please research 'Desteni I Process' online program that will teach you how to become self-honest and responsible human being that acts upon principles of equality of all living beings and does what is best for all. And if you decide to assist others in this process, you can become and agent and eventually a buddy and thus earn a lot of money. If you want me to assist you in this process, enter my name 'Valentin Rozman' and my student number '140' when you register. Let us all become better human beings and create heaven on earth!
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2011 - Bulding self-trust

Within communication with other I have been noticing how my self-trust has increased by speaking to others in self-honesty and within principle of what is best for all. I am paying attention to my thoughts and I stop them whenever I notice them, and do not accept any justifications about what they are good for. I focus on my breath, and if thoughts are too strong, I speak out self-forgiveness and massage my physical body in order to ground myself and return to what is here. I keep explaining people how emotional reactions have only destructive consequences in spite of general believe that emotions are important component in our lives. People try to convince me that I am cold, since I do not allow subconscious emotional reactions, instead of they realising that they are the ones who are in fact not able to live here and support all life equally due to theirs mind end emotional possessions that is manifestation of separation from what is actually here.

In the past a lot of subconscious fear emerged due to my allowed and accepted believes that I need to behave nicely and do what others say and disregard the consequences of my actions in the perspective of totality of existence, but now I have started to take more and more self-responsibility for my actions and not allowing myself to do anything that results in harming other living beings that live with me in this reality. I am careful that my actions are not based on my self-interest, but on what is best for all. Being the administrator of the FaceBook group that I created a few weeks ago is a great test for me where I constantly have to be careful not to act from the point of being something more, but to treat others as one and equal and direct them towards self-realisation by introducing them with practical functional tools that Desteni presented, especially the online training, called 'Desteni I Process'.

I experience myself that I am taking more and more control of my conscious mind, but there is still a lot to do. I sometimes experience subtle subconscious and unconscious emotional reactions that manifest as itching on the skin. So I do not fool myself by allowing the believe that I have purified myself totally, since I have in fact hardly begun to scratch the surface of my mind. Ego is great master of self-deception, but I do allow him to posses me anymore. I stop all my self-interest and do onto others as I would like others to do onto me. I stared to give more in order in order to receive more. I plan and invest into projects that are supporting world equality, especially the 'Equal Money System' that will practically manifest heaven on earth. I do all my Desteni I Process assignment, write at least one supportive blog per week and many more blogs and vlogs, in order to support myself in the process of self-realisation more effectively. It is all about self, since self is that creates reality, thus reality will improve with aligning of self with the principle of equality and what is best for all. I stop all energy possessions, I birth myself as life from the psychical and support others as one and equal till eternity.
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2011 - Silverpoint time share holidays & vacation club

A week ago some man called me on the phone and invited me to come to presentation of Silverpoint holidays program at Vila Bled hotel and they will give me a gift in form of dinner for two persons or something similar if I come. I explained the man that I am not going on holidays very much and that I am now focusing on projects to make myself and this world a better place. The man said that he is also interesting in knowing more about my projects, so I decided to come in order to spread the information about Desteni solutions to practically manifest heaven on earth.

So yesterday I went to Vila Bled which was the residence of the president of the ex Socialistic Federal Republic of Yugoslavia with name Josip Broz - Tito. Firstly some young woman registered me and checked my contact information and then some other young woman escorted me out to the next building with nice panoramic view on Bled lake, island and castle. Then we went to a big room with a lot of small round tables where singles or couples would chat with one of the representatives of the Silverpoint company. And there were a lot of big vertical posters, positioned all around the walls with attractive pictures of the Silverpoint holiday resorts around the world. So also the girl who was assigned to me and me picked one free table, fetched a drink and started the conversation.

She introduced herself, explained that the presentation will take about 90 minutes (in fact it took 3 hours) and that I their offer is valid only for today, so I will have to decide immediately if I want to take it or not. Then she continued by asking me some questions about my holiday habits and filled them by hand in the paper form. When we were done with profiling my vacation preferences, she started to give me details what Silverpoint is about. She showed me a lot of pictures of their resorts and made a financial compartment in order to convince me that their offer is the best in terms of financial savings and also in terms or superior quality of holiday resorts.

The point of Silverpoint is that you decide for a membership by which you become a life-time owner of one of the apartments in one of their resorts. And then you pay each year only a maintenance fee of about 300 €. So you then have the opportunity to go to that resort any time in whole year or rent your place to other people to use it while you are not there. And the best point is that you can exchange your apartment with any other location in Silverpoint network, so you that you are able to go to any Silverpoint resort in the world. The philosophy is to save money by not having to pay for all the fees, advertisements and manipulation costs that travel agencies charge, since Silverpoint actually buys the resorts and thus by owning it the costs of holidays dramatically reduces. They also take care that their resort are top quality, so at least 5 or even 6 stars.

While their female representative was explaining all this things to me, using words like 'beautiful', 'positive energy' and 'nice feelings' I started to explain her that beauty is only the accepted definition and when you define something as 'beautiful', you automatically also define other things as 'ugly' and thus create the separation and inequality in this existence. And in regards to feelings, they are all the energy, created by friction or conflict between reality and your accepted and allowed believes, ideals and definitions in your mind. So why creating the definition of some environment to be 'ugly' and 'exhausting' and then needing to have some 'beautiful holidays' somewhere far away, when you can simply breathe effectively, remain here and accept the current reality the way it is?

The concept of time-sharing locations is great, but why not sharing every single resource in this world equally among all living beings? I explained her that if she is really interested in providing everyone with the best and cheapest holiday experience, she should research and support the Equal Money System. This is a concepts where we would not need to buy propriety and then share it, since there will be no actual ownership anymore. And you will not need to work in exhausting conditions and fight to earn your money, since all your needs will be covered by the system. When her supervisor, that was an English speaking gentlemen, joined our table, I also explained him the Desteni vision of practically creating the heaven on earth, but he would not want to listen or take the my Desteni leaflet, arguing that he is fine with believing in god, doing some small charity and that changing this world is pure illusion.

But what is here impossible to do in this world? Silverpoint proved that when enough people join and support some solution, the quality of life increases and prices drop dramatically. So this is exactly what we are doing at Desteni. We are creating a global network of people who work together for the ultimate 'holidays' that will last from birth to death. We want to "own" the whole world and then we will have the whole planet available to share among each living being equally, so there will be no more scarcity, no more hunger and wars, but peaceful co-existence in perfect harmony. But firstly, the same way as the Silverpoint members, we have to invest in this paradise, and the Desteni I Process is the way to do it. We remove everything what separates us in our minds and then we remove all the laws that separate us from earth resources. So if you want to invest in the 'cheapest and most luxurious life-time holidays', I invite you to join Desteni that will enable the full unlimited expression of life on this world.
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