Showing posts with label self-trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-trust. Show all posts

01 November 2013

Day 123: First step of moving to Maribor

Days 121 to 122 are in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday I drove with fully packed car to Maribor city. I have transported there the first quantity of my stuff to the temporary location in the center of the city near Lent region. I have checked out the location of my potential new apartment in the two-story old city house near a two-way road. The son of the owner of the house is living in one of the top apartments and is renovating all the apartments on father's behalf and converting them into rooms for the students. In the top as in the bottom floor there are three to four rooms with joint kitchen and bathroom.


In the first floor of the house there are already people living and one of them is a friend who I met couple of years ago and is deeply involved in spirituality. She moved there from the costal region to study at the Faculty of education. We had and interesting chat after I moved all my stuff from the car to one of the bottom rooms. I also met some of her visiting friends who is working in field of ecology and there was also a nice asian girl who decided to live in the city with her young child and a dog.

So while the top floor of the house has already been completely renovated and filled with people, the bottom floor yet needs a couple of days for the finishing touches. The landlord allowed me to store my stuff in one of the rooms and maybe I will decide to stay there for a while. It all depends how I will find living there appropriate. At this time the heating is off, the kitchen is not installed, light bulbs and shower are missing and the door frames are not completed.

What also bothers me there is that my potential room is near the road so there is some noise from the cars driving nearby. Also the parking is not very comfortable. Then I will have to see if there will be any other disturbing elements that will be unacceptable for me. So I am a bit nervous and anxious about all this movement to the new place and I feel a block in my belly. I am entering a new, unknown territory and obviously every moving of permanent residence is quite a big change.

Yesterday I also met another friend who has a master's degree in education, is author of three books and an interesting card sets that assist people in realizing and overcoming emotional limitations. We had quite a long talk, I estimate it was at least three hours and we shared a lot of interesting information. She is a very fast and extensive speaker, energetic person, very opened, kind and with lots of ideas. There is a lot of potential of mutual collaboration there and I am looking forward to it.

Now I will have to wait in Ljubljana for another two days until the rooms in the bottom floors will be ready for living and in that time I will pack the rest of my stuff in the boxes. I plan the next and final trip to Maribor on Sunday and from then on I will become a resident of Maribor city.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the feeling of fear that I will not be comfortable in my new place after visiting the location where work is in the progress, instead of realizing that when I will move there is couple of days, the work will be already completely finished.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the feeling of anxiety due to thinking that noise in the new apartment will be too much for me instead of realizing that I could get used to frequent sounds, like I got used to quite loud sound of the refrigerator in my current apartment which I found very disturbing initially.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to be afraid of the nearby very wide river to fill my future apartment with water in case of the floods instead of researching the history of floods in that area and verifying if my location is in fact on endangered locations.

I commit myself to breathe effectively and be full here, in this moment and act in accordance to real physical events and situations.

I commit myself to fully express myself and communicate with people that I am surrounded with and dependent so that they understand my needs and assist me in providing me with a suitable living conditions.

05 May 2011

2011 - Bulding self-trust

Within communication with other I have been noticing how my self-trust has increased by speaking to others in self-honesty and within principle of what is best for all. I am paying attention to my thoughts and I stop them whenever I notice them, and do not accept any justifications about what they are good for. I focus on my breath, and if thoughts are too strong, I speak out self-forgiveness and massage my physical body in order to ground myself and return to what is here. I keep explaining people how emotional reactions have only destructive consequences in spite of general believe that emotions are important component in our lives. People try to convince me that I am cold, since I do not allow subconscious emotional reactions, instead of they realising that they are the ones who are in fact not able to live here and support all life equally due to theirs mind end emotional possessions that is manifestation of separation from what is actually here.

In the past a lot of subconscious fear emerged due to my allowed and accepted believes that I need to behave nicely and do what others say and disregard the consequences of my actions in the perspective of totality of existence, but now I have started to take more and more self-responsibility for my actions and not allowing myself to do anything that results in harming other living beings that live with me in this reality. I am careful that my actions are not based on my self-interest, but on what is best for all. Being the administrator of the FaceBook group that I created a few weeks ago is a great test for me where I constantly have to be careful not to act from the point of being something more, but to treat others as one and equal and direct them towards self-realisation by introducing them with practical functional tools that Desteni presented, especially the online training, called 'Desteni I Process'.

I experience myself that I am taking more and more control of my conscious mind, but there is still a lot to do. I sometimes experience subtle subconscious and unconscious emotional reactions that manifest as itching on the skin. So I do not fool myself by allowing the believe that I have purified myself totally, since I have in fact hardly begun to scratch the surface of my mind. Ego is great master of self-deception, but I do allow him to posses me anymore. I stop all my self-interest and do onto others as I would like others to do onto me. I stared to give more in order in order to receive more. I plan and invest into projects that are supporting world equality, especially the 'Equal Money System' that will practically manifest heaven on earth. I do all my Desteni I Process assignment, write at least one supportive blog per week and many more blogs and vlogs, in order to support myself in the process of self-realisation more effectively. It is all about self, since self is that creates reality, thus reality will improve with aligning of self with the principle of equality and what is best for all. I stop all energy possessions, I birth myself as life from the psychical and support others as one and equal till eternity.
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