My Desteni process support for self-realization: Writing myself to freedom by focusing on my breath, stopping the mind and inherited behaviour patterns, getting aware of my unconscious thoughts by bringing them here by writing, taking full responsibility for all of my emotional reactions by self-forgiveness of all accepted and allowed beliefs, ideals, and definitions and applying self-corrective application to direct myself as one and equal with all living beings and do what is best for all.
Yesterday my ex girlfriend called me and started crying since her father that she is living with assaulted her and she became afraid that he woud stab her with a knife and kill her. Thus in order to safe her life she went to the woods and spent the night under the trees.
I tried to support my ex girlfriend within three years of living together in realizing that all the violent people came into her life due to her specific behavior patterns that she accepted and allowed. However she refused to engage in the process of behavior transformation. She is like addicted to the energy of bad feelings which she experiences when people are psychical or physical abusive towards hers. And if she will not stop this, she is doomed. It is the same pattern that also my mother lived and it resulted in her making a suicide couple of years ago.
I talked to my current neighbor that worked as a social worker but is retired now. She was met with many cases of home violence and she learned that in every violent relationship there are two people with polarity behavior pattens that attract each other. One plays a role of being abusive person and the other plays a role of a victim. However each one of them need each other in order to continue with this role playing. So just one of them is required to change the pattern and the relationship changes immediately.
Abusive and violent relationship is in fact a learning opportunity where both participants are put on the test of making a realization that neither acting from anger and blame nor feeling sorry for yourself is a supportive way of participating in a relationship. In order for any relationship to work and prosper, everyone that is involved must act as equal, understand each others perspective and then apply the solutions that are in best interest of all.
Basically all life is a test, a school that supports us all in realization how we must change ourself in order to live here in prosperity and abundance. Each one has a limited life span, a limited number of years here on earth that can be used for personal growth or they can be totally wasted. If one does not correct oneself based on the feedback that shows unharmonious results of ones participation, the backchat in the mind becomes so extensive that becomes unbearable. Usually suicide is then the only way that is left from the perspective of such abuser.
So I invite everyone that faces conflict at any place or time in their lives to start as soon as possible the process of inner change. And very effective free beginners online course for this process is called Desteni I Process Lite so I suggest you use it if you want to help yourself. Understand that you can blame no one for what you experience in your life. It is you who has attracted or created it. And only you can change it by taking full self-responsibly and forgive yourself all the illusional unrealistic accepted and allowed ideal, definitions and believes. Save yourself from your own mind because no one can save you but yourself!
I have been feeling very down and heavy in past several days. It felt like I weighted twice the normal weight, I just wanted to rest and was not able to do much work. This was because I have been exposed to information from TV news about financial crisis, recession, prices of gas going up and similar concerning events. Together with not having enough money to pay for my rent on time, I felt quite depressed and started to consider what are the options to go out of these heavy feelings.
I could have done some self-forgiveness, but I was soo down that I could not even type or speak the words. I searched for the solution and then I remembered that some physical exercise could move and release those energies. Since I am in the center of capital city of our Slovenia country, I am not very fun of running on the streets and woods and mountains are quite far away. I wanted to come with a solution that I would be able to use daily and that is very practical. Thus I remember that a rebounder was suggested as the jumping up and down an the elastic canvas is an exercise that also what has been recommended by NASA.
I searched local web site for used sports equipment and someone has been selling a 1,5 meter diameter round used rebounder for just 30 euros which I considered to be a very cool price. I immediately called the guy on the phone and asked if I may come and test the piece. He confirmed, I jumped into my car and in 20 minutes I was already doing the test jumps. What was also cool is that the device flopped twice so it fitted into my car very easily. When I returned home I washed all the pieces since they were slightly dusty due to outdoor use and soon I was already jumping up in the air like crazy.
I can say it assisted me a lot since a smile came to my face and I started to feel much more relaxed. Similar exercise are also what at Desteni was suggested within the Structural Resonance Alignment course and they also have a quite large trampoline at Desteni farm in South Africa where I payed them a visit last year. I now keep my rebounder as for of first aid right in the middle of anteroom and I use it several time a day. The next day after first use I experienced pain on top of my shoulders and on the belly. I was warned that after first use some muscles would hurt since this exercise activates many muscles, including some new ones that one does not use in usually.
In addition to this physical exercise I also took advice to stop listening only news about destruction and degradation on this world, and to watch some comedy movie or similar that would bring me joy and laughs. Thus I started to watch the YouTube clips of Talent Shows where different people would perform singing, magic and other variety acts. I enjoyed those clips a lot and I would watch day for couple of hours late into night. I started to become possessed with energy of good feelings and it was hard for me to stop watching those movies. So thus I started to slowly drift to the other polarity of emotional energy. Some acts moved me so much that even tears started to emerge from my eyes.
This is my pattern of exchange between bad emotions and good feelings that direct my life instead of me directing myself without influence of any energy. I noticed that when I have enough money I feel relaxed and I spend a lot and at that time I just want to enjoy and do not care much about future plans to establish the proper money flow in order to constantly have enough money for my needs. Only when it is almost too late, when it is the last chance to start digging myself out of deep shit, I became motivated enough by the fear of loss so that I take action and do something in order to earn some money again.
This time I decided to sell my video and photo equipment and I made an effort to prepare the ads and collect the emails of all the video production companies in our country. The next day after I sent them an email with my offer, several people already expressed interest in some pieces of my equipment. Thus I was able to transform my belongings into money very quickly. I learned lately that one should not be ashamed to sell some possessions that one does not need so it can be invested into projects that would soon bring back even more money. And I am also prepared to move to cheaper apartment and do whatever necessary in order to fix my life.
So the only thing that is completely detrimental for avery individual are mind patterns of constant worry about what all bad things might happen in the future and being afraid of loosing objects of possession. Some people who are currently very successful have gone bankrupt in the past but they raised themselves up again and rebuilt their lives again. Thus it is not important how many times you fall but that how many times you stand up. Of course going bankrupt is not a magic formula for success and I also have no intention to completely waste all my money but for some they need to go through this experience in order to change their thinking and behavior patterns.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself a good feeling when I have enough money and feeling of safety and thus not having motivation to move myself as life, instead of realizing that energies are what destroy life thus it is necessary to direct myself in every breath and do what is best for all and release any accumulated energy of bad or good feelings and emotions.
And this is a very supporting video from Sunette Spies in regards to becoming emotional when watching some movie scenes that I highly recommend:
