Day 154: Meeting Jehovah's Witness

Several days ago a man age around 40 dressed in a suit rang our house door bell. He gave me a leaflet and invited me to a meeting to discuss about life. I took a leaflet and just by the illustrations used I recognised that he is a member Jehovah's Witness religion group. At that time I was doing something and I expected the postman to arrive so I was surprised that someone else was at the door. Just that disappointment already created a subtle emotional reaction that then only started to accumulate. Then soon the postman actually came while I was still chatting with Jehovah's Witness at the main door. So I became dissatisfied that he is interfering with my communication with the postman that I expected. After the postman left I continued talking with the Jehovah's Witness and explained him my point of view until he eventually left knowing that he would not be able to convert me to his religion.

During the chat with Jehovah's Witness I remembered how my grandmother in her late years after her husband died and she moved to the retirement home, she also became member of this religion. She started to visit the meetings, read their bible however they did not let her to be baptised because she did not truly understand and accepted their belief. I drove her to their religious facility many times and I also attended a couple of session. In my past 15 years I read all the holy books of world religions that were available in our public library, I listened to many priests and gurus and also become part of several religions for a short period of time. I wanted to experience which religion is the best, which can explain the existence in the most detail and what explanation is actually the truth. 

Jehovah's Witness are definitely one of well organised religious groups that I met. Firstly they usually visit people's homes in couples. So I was a bit surprised that the guy who visited me was alone and I started to ask myself is this because number of their members had decreased and can not afford any longer to visit others in tandem. When in public Jehovah's Witness are also very well dressed, they keep detailed records who they have visited and what the response were and are very consistent. During the religious meetings they give excellent presentations with best sound equipment, dedicated stuff brings microphones to participants who want to say something and they have nice meeting halls. They are also very effective in raising funds and translating their texts to almost all world languages. 

However I learned during my research how religions were specifically created to mentally enslave humans, to control and divide us. I noticed how those who are part of Jehovah's Witness group are not capable of common sense and are equally possessed and blinded by their beliefs like any other religious groups. But the question here is if I have proved to be any better? Have I been teaching by my own example what is the utmost potential of human beings? The answer is no. Because it was not nice from me that I held quite emotional conversation with the poor guy only at the main house door and have not invited him to my living room. I know that he is blinded by religion but I have not become one and equal with him and was not effective in showing what is a better way for humanity to live in peace, abundance and mutual respect.

The point is that I have reacted to the visit of Jehovah's Witness from point of frustration, past experience projection, blame, spite, envy, fear, anger, hopelessness and superiority. And despite of consciously knowing what is the best approach in building a supportive relationships with other, I at that time did not applied those principles practically. Instead of becoming envy about their effectiveness to recruit new believers, it would be best for me to apply the principle of research everything and keep what is good. I could share the Desteni message with greater effect if I would invite the visitor to my living room and ask him about his life experiences and what lead him to becoming a Jehovah's Witness. Instead I emotionally reacted due to my belief that members of his religious group are so well brainwashed that trying to explain him anything that would challenge his beliefs it is a pure waste of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to react with emotion of disappointment when I opened the front house doors and instead of the postman there was someone else there. I realise that despite of expecting someone to come at certain time there is always a possibility that someone else will come at that time. I commit myself to when and as I notice that someone else has arrived instead of expected individual and my mind is producing thoughts like: “What the fuck is now this person doing here instead of the individual that I am expecting!” to stop and breathe. I then ask the unexpected person what they want and explain that currently I do not have time to talk with theme since I am expecting someone else to come however they can return later or schedule a meeting with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to react with emotion of superiority when I noticed that a member of religious group has come to visit me. I realise that Desteni message is about equality and oneness and that I am entitled to present myself as Destonian only if I also practically live Desteni principles in my everyday life. I commit myself to when and as I am confronted with people of religious views and my mind is producing thoughts like: “I must now quickly show how they are wrong and how I am right!” to stop and breathe. Then I engage in conversation with them, allowing enough time to create friendship, to research and understand their life story, what benefits they get from their religion and then to explain how humans do actually not need any religion but can live in harmony and mutual respect by simply following certain principles and taking responsibility for participating in our minds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with emotion of envy when the member of Jehovah's Witness started to present the facts about how many members they have across the world and in how many languages their information has been translated. I realise that it is not productive to be envy about achievements of others. It is much better to learn from others who are successful and to eventually become equally successful in what we want to achieve. I commit myself to when and as I notice the achievements of other and my mind goes like: “What the hell, I hate them so much for their achievements!” to stop and breathe. I then ask what is their secret recipe and pick their brains so that I can get smarter and more effective in making this world the best place for all. 

In relation to this blog post, I invite you to assist also yourself with awesome self-perfecting tools within free online DIP Lite course and to listen to educational audio titled The Dawn of Religion from the Reptilians series at Eqafe web store with hundreds of extremely supportive educational items that hold answers to any imaginable question about life and this existence.

Day 131: Overcoming addiction to watching movies

A pattern has rebuild in relation to watching movies. It started about 20 years ago when I begun to work in the pre-press department of our family company. Computers were the main tool to do graphic design so I was sitting and watching the monitor from morning to late afternoon. When I would finish my daily tasks, I went up stairs into the living room and turned on the TV. Watching moves relaxed me and I would would watch them also on the TV set in my bedroom till late evening. This developed into such addiction that I finally decided to sell the TV set in my bedroom and also couple of years later, when I moved to my own flat, I decided not to have a TV set.

I still do not possess a TV set however I have a desktop computer with a very large screen and I watch many of the movies and video content with online availability. Recently I noticed that I increased the quantity of movies that I watch per week and I need to stop this since it interferes with my other responsibilities, especially business tasks. I am currently in the final stage of developing a new business where I would have to do in-home presentations for a very valuable product. There are couple of things that create psychical resistance in moving forward.

One is that I want the presentation to be prepared in such perfection that it would create the best impact and as much sales as possible. Every in-home visit is the final stage where hot leads have been funneled through many marketing steps, from creating a web site, advertising, collecting leads, making phone calls and scheduling meetings. Thus I want to make sure that every in-home presentation is properly done by explaining the client all the benefits and saving that they will get by purchasing our product. 

Second thing is the significant change of work tasks. Up to now I made my living mostly by doing a design work for regular clients. It was cozy to work in my nice home office and I did not have to do much traveling. My new job demands me to move much more since it is I who will be visiting clients on their home so I will have to plan trips, use the car, navigation and have to be dressed in a business suit in order to get the job done.

Third issue is the increased responsibility due to managing a much bigger project that ever before. As a designer I had not further requests after I delivered the order. The product that I will be selling now however will require many years of customer support and I expect to have many thousands of clients. So it will definitely require a quite different life style and mindset as before. I will have to get trained in team management and leadership skills and will have to handle much more informations.

All these issues contributed to creation of resistance which manifested as procrastination by watching movies. Now it is up to me to change this pattern and direct myself by becoming aware of this patterns and changing them by applying self-forgiveness and self-commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in moves. I realize that moves can be addictive since they take one in the imaginary world where one has no responsibilities but to watch and enjoy the pre-programmed life scenario. Thus a moderation in watching is necessary in order to balance the fun and work responsibilities. When and as I am faced with a job task and my mind creates a thought that invites me to relax some more by watching a movie, I take a deep breath and stop. I use common sense to evaluate the priorities and then decide if situation qualifies for some movie fun time. I commit myself from this moment on not to watch more than one feature film per day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the feeling of anxiety about the complexity of the new business that I am involved in. I realize that no matter how big the project is, everything can be faced by slicing the elephant into a digestible pieces. When and as my mind tries to grasp a large quantity of information and creates a thoughts that this is too much and wants to create a feeling of overwhelmness, I take a deep breath and stop. I direct myself by chopping big tasks into small steps, define priorities, allocate required time and move myself based on the plan. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad due to need of wearing a uncomfortable business suit while making the presentations. I realize that suits are of different quality and while most are not very comfortable, custom tailored suits can fit the body perfectly and thus support the physical body effectively. When and as I am to change my clothes and my mind start to produce thought of associating business suit with the word uncomfortable, I take a deep breath and stop. While my current dress has become a bit tight, I commit myself to invest my first profits into buying myself a comfortable suit that would make my presentations nice and cosy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my in-home presentations will not be effective. I realize that every presentation that one starts to do will lack perfection initially and thus it is best not to count on doing the first sale very soon. When and as I am about to do a presentation and my mind produces thoughts of doubt about my ability to achieve success in sales, I take a deep breath and stop participating in the mind. I return myself here and respond to any questions that the clients might have until they are informed properly about all the benefits of our product.

Recommended related links:

When Worlds Collide - The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination

Life Review - How I Justified my Life of Anxiety

Worry Wart - Life Review

Day 43: Masturbation research

After feeling blue yesterday, I today woke up still with a feeling of dizziness. I asked myself what to do in order to stabilize my inner pressure. I could go to doctors for diagnose and advise however I know how corrupt and ignorant our medical system is and that it can not be trusted. So I remembered how years ago I was able to calm myself down by doing meditation, more specifically pranayama or breathing exercised while sitting in the lotos position. Thus I sat down in the corner of my couch, closed my eyes and focused on breathing while not allowing any thought to distract my attention. Slowly I started to feel a relief and I felt like a burden would be lifted off me. Also the sky outside cleared and the sun started to shine.

Later when I returned home from doing door to door visits I got a desire to experience a feeling of orgasm again. I played with myself already in the shower this morning and researched how touching of different areas of my penis create different feelings. Especially the middle section of the penis head and the borders around penis mushroom cap are much more sensitive than the rest of the penis area.

While touching this erogene zones, I also noticed how these areas are energetically connected to my legs since whenever I would touch the head of the penis, appearance of the pleasant feeling would correlate with the feeling in my legs. This feeling in my legs was similar or identical to the feeling when I would be scared of something. It destabilized my legs and made them soft. So I assume that the energy for creating the feeling of orgasm is in a way produced from the leg area of the physical body.

In most cased in my past I would masturbate while watching movies from some porn web site. However I heard and realized that this kind of masturbation is in long term very destructive in terms of practical relationships and also promotes rape. So I committed myself to remove my addiction to porn and practice only the physical masturbation.

The quickest way for me to experience orgasm is watching move scenes where some guy would have sex with some girl that I find physically very attractive and I would then imagine that I am that guy in the movie having sex with that woman. The next quickest way is to masturbate without watching movie, but just imagining in my mind that I am having sex with some girl that I find attractive. So very shortly after engaging my imagination into masturbation I would be able to experience masturbation very easily.

However the consequences of this kind of masturbation was that after orgasm I would feel tired, sleepy and with a feeling of foggy mind. I found to be true that masturbation that involves imagination fuels the mind and thus suppresses who you are. The consequences are also that after one practices masturbation while watching movies or imagines sex in the mind, it creates a picture association with the feeling of orgasm. Consequently whenever one observes a sex scene in the movie, the photo of naked women in magazine or meets an attractive person in flesh, the desire and lust for orgasm immediately appears.

This kind of energy-picture association is very limiting and harmful for human relationship. It constantly distracts from collaborating and executing daily activities by producing thoughts about how to invite the person that you find attractive to have sex with you. One starts to project the feeling of orgasm onto another person since they have not researched and became aware where the energy of orgasm originates and how it is produced. However the energy of orgasm has nothing to do with other person since it is created by ones own physical body.

So today I also decided to continue the practical masturbation research in order to become more aware that I am fully responsible for the creation of orgasmic energy. I laid on the bed naked and started to rub my penis between my palms using oil. I would be careful not to use any imagination but just experience the feeling of physical touch thus I had my eyes open and directly observed what I was doing. After initial state of good feelings while touching, the pleasant feelings slowly dissipated and the feeling of touching my penis with my hands began to turn in unpleasant and more and more painful feelings.

This kind of experience is to be normal since rubbing the skin for a certain period of time is expected to become painful. However if using the mind, the sex system masks the pain with energy of good feelings until the orgasmic release and ejaculation. But even when using the mind, after orgasm, the penis starts to feel painful also. Thus rubbing and part of the skin of the body starts to destabilize molecular structure and destroys the physical and the body produces the feeling of pain in order to prevent the continuation of the activity before it is to late and the wound is created.

By fully being aware of ones physical actions while masturbating, one can clearly see that the orgasm can also be produced without any involvement of second party. Thus one takes full self-responsibility for the creation of orgasmic energy and does need anymore to seek, persuade, harass or even rape other being in order to experience the orgasm. Anyone at anytime can rub its body and create energy. So I will be researching the orgasm also in the future and I commit myself not to masturbate ever again by watching porn or engaging my imagination. 

2012 Polarity feeling emotional mind energy exposed

I have been feeling very down and heavy in past several days. It felt like I weighted twice the normal weight, I just wanted to rest and was not able to do much work. This was because I have been exposed to information from TV news about financial crisis, recession, prices of gas going up and similar concerning events. Together with not having enough money to pay for my rent on time, I felt quite depressed and started to consider what are the options to go out of these heavy feelings.

I could have done some self-forgiveness, but I was soo down that I could not even type or speak the words. I searched for the solution and then I remembered that some physical exercise could move and release those energies. Since I am in the center of capital city of our Slovenia country, I am not very fun of running on the streets and woods and mountains are quite far away. I wanted to come with a solution that I would be able to use daily and that is very practical. Thus I remember that a rebounder was suggested as the jumping up and down an the elastic canvas is an exercise that also what has been recommended by NASA.

I searched local web site for used sports equipment and someone has been selling a 1,5 meter diameter round used rebounder for just 30 euros which I considered to be a very cool price. I immediately called the guy on the phone and asked if I may come and test the piece. He confirmed, I jumped into my car and in 20 minutes I was already doing the test jumps. What was also cool is that the device flopped twice so it fitted into my car very easily. When I returned home I washed all the pieces since they were slightly dusty due to outdoor use and soon I was already jumping up in the air like crazy.

I can say it assisted me a lot since a smile came to my face and I started to feel much more relaxed. Similar exercise are also what at Desteni was suggested within the Structural Resonance Alignment course and they also have a quite large trampoline at Desteni farm in South Africa where I payed them a visit last year. I now keep my rebounder as for of first aid right in the middle of anteroom and I use it several time a day. The next day after first use I experienced pain on top of my shoulders and on the belly. I was warned that after first use some muscles would hurt since this exercise activates many muscles, including some new ones that one does not use in usually.

In addition to this physical exercise I also took advice to stop listening only news about destruction and degradation on this world, and to watch some comedy movie or similar that would bring me joy and laughs. Thus I started to watch the YouTube clips of Talent Shows where different people would perform singing, magic and other variety acts. I enjoyed those clips a lot and I would watch day for couple of hours late into night. I started to become possessed with energy of good feelings and it was hard for me to stop watching those movies. So thus I started to slowly drift to the other polarity of emotional energy. Some acts moved me so much that even tears started to emerge from my eyes.

This is my pattern of exchange between bad emotions and good feelings that direct my life instead of me directing myself without influence of any energy. I noticed that when I have enough money I feel relaxed and I spend a lot and at that time I just want to enjoy and do not care much about future plans to establish the proper money flow in order to constantly have enough money for my needs. Only when it is almost too late, when it is the last chance to start digging myself out of deep shit, I became motivated enough by the fear of loss so that I take action and do something in order to earn some money again.

This time I decided to sell my video and photo equipment and I made an effort to prepare the ads and collect the emails of all the video production companies in our country. The next day after I sent them an email with my offer, several people already expressed interest in some pieces of my equipment. Thus I was able to transform my belongings into money very quickly. I learned lately that one should not be ashamed to sell some possessions that one does not need so it can be invested into projects that would soon bring back even more money. And I am also prepared to move to cheaper apartment and do whatever necessary in order to fix my life.

So the only thing that is completely detrimental for avery individual are mind patterns of constant worry about what all bad things might happen in the future and being afraid of loosing objects of possession. Some people who are currently very successful have gone bankrupt in the past but they raised themselves up again and rebuilt their lives again. Thus it is not important how many times you fall but that how many times you stand up. Of course going bankrupt is not a magic formula for success and I also have no intention to completely waste all my money but for some they need to go through this experience in order to change their thinking and behavior patterns.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself a good feeling when I have enough money and feeling of safety and thus not having motivation to move myself as life, instead of realizing that energies are what destroy life thus it is necessary to direct myself in every breath and do what is best for all and release any accumulated energy of bad or good feelings and emotions.

And this is a very supporting video from Sunette Spies in regards to becoming emotional when watching some movie scenes that I highly recommend:

2011 - Destructive nature of love as feeling

I just finished a relationship that lasted for almost exactly one year. It started when one girl fall in love with me over internet since we had a lot of common interests. She then very persistently started to call and message me and wanting to meet with me. I in kind a way felt very flattered that someone has so much interest in me, but I was also aware that this kind of obsession is not the best foundation for any relationship. But since I did not want to pre-judge her, I gave her a chance and started a relationship with her.

When we first met face to face, I explained her that my interests are in self-realisation and making this world a better place for all. I told her that we can be only in kind a relationship that we call An Agreement. This is not a typical relationship where two people start living together and start supporting each other personality or ego, but the other way around. Partners are to expose each other's destructive behavior patterns and transform them so that they are not only best for that person, but best for all living beings on this world.

My girlfriend agreed that she is prepared to work on herself, analyze and remove all mind patterns that cause her to emotionally react and that also made her to define me as something more and thus created the energy that she calls love. You see, there are two kinds of love. One is fake love of the mind that is the energy feeling, and other is real love that is based on practical actions of doing onto others as you would want other to do onto you. So one can claim that it is in love with certain person, but his action prove the other way around.

I supported my girlfriend with nice and not so nice approach in order to start her process of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, but she was not able or did not wanted to grasp the material and do her process. Thus I decided to end this relationship since it was not supportive for me and influenced me in also slowing down my own process. So I am now moving on and I will be prepared to engage in new relationship or agreement only if the other person will be actually willing and able to walk with me in the process as one and equal.

For those who want to find out more about the process of self-realization that I have been involved in for about two years now, Google "Desteni I Process" or visit this URL > http://www.desteniiprocess.com
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2011 - Fear attacked me again, stronger than ever

Today fear attacked me once again. It has been about 6 weeks since the last attack that happened while I was visiting Desteni farm in South Africa. Bernard warned me that if I continue my activities without effectively doing my process, it will reappear. But I did not believe that it will happen again since I perceived the support on the farm to be effective enough to release the most of the fear energy from my body. But I was wrong. Terribly wrong. Today in the morning, while I was lying in the bed, in the moment when I started to wake up from my sleep, it hit me stronger than ever. It was immediate vertigo, making me totally helpless and not able to move even a bit. All what I could do is to stay laying down and breathe. Then the temperature of my body increased and I started to sweat extensively. I mean, I was soaking wet, like if I would jump in the water. I expected for vertigo to go away soon, as usual, but it just continued and continued. Then, after a while, nausea started to appear and I had to vomit. I started to rise while vertigo making me very unstable and I rushed to the toilet next door. I vomited, but of course only saliva, since my stomach digested all the food during the night. After I while I returned to bed and continued to lye down, waiting for vertigo to disappear. But it still persisted, and even nausea reappeared again. It was so strong and sudden that I was unable to stand up and go to bathroom, so I just opened the drawer of the bedside cabinet and puked into it. This nausea attack continued and I puked in the cabinet for more than 10 times. I don't know exactly when I firstly woke up and when the vertigo finally completely went away, but I have a feeling that it took at least 3 hours. After it passed, I rouse up, cleaned the cabinet and took a shower.

While experiencing fear attack, I felt that is was coming out of my belly region, a few centimetres bellow my belly button, and it spread throughout my whole body. Parallel to this feeling, a lot of thoughts flashed through my head. It were all the thought of fear about what others might say, how others will judge me, criticise me, and not accept me. This back-chat followed me also yesterday when I was working on computer, sharing information about Desteni, and before that, when I went to the mountains for a couple of hours. I have now decided that I will climb at least one big hill twice a week to ground myself and to loose excessive weight that accumulated due to lack of physical activity in past several months. I take my laptop and camera with me so I can blog in nature and do some auto portraits of myself blogging at interesting locations. While I walk up the hills, I pay attention to breathe effectively and not allow any thought to run through my head. If I am not able to stop them by breathing, I stop and speak out self-forgiveness and self-corrective statement. But the back-chat is very persistent, and it bothers me constantly. Especially about what people could think when I publish my photos of blogging in nature on my FaceBook profile. If I title them "Blogging in nature", will they see this only me, wanting to make myself important, will they become envious, will they judge me? Because I did not actually blog on every specific place where I took the picture. Sometimes it started to rain when I reached the top of the mountain, sometimes it was already so late that I had to return in order to escape darkness, and sometimes the place with the interesting view was too uncomfortable to blog. So I will have to include this info in the description of my photo gallery in order to be completely honest about that. Basically my starting point was just to show a bit of my surrounding while making the pictures more interesting by putting myself blogging in it and thus also inviting other to also start to write themselves to freedom.

Lately I have been very obsessed with sharing information about Desteni, creating a new FaceBook group, and doing extensive comments as many people have asked questions and needed explanation. My room is total mess, the same with my kitchen, since I procrastinate to tidy things up due to defining this as unimportant. It is time to stop this obsession and support myself first. I have allowed myself to play a role of saviour, of the one who needs to fix this world, without understanding that I have to fix myself firstly. I see a lot of this mind patterns to come from my father, who has all his life helped others, made a lot of technological improvements and innovations, and is still trying to impress others by creating products that captivate his clients. And he raised me to be the same, even better, to use latest technology and computers in order to create great graphic designs. But he did not care much about focusing on self and doing some kind of intense realisation techniques. So I have to break this spell of the past, of how I was raised, and start to support myself more effectively and not being so dependant from other's people opinions. I do not need for others to tell me what is right and what is wrong, since it is always their own opinion, based on their own accepted and allowed believes and desires, and this is not the ultimate truth at all. I am able to clearly support myself by moving breath by breath, applying simple principle of what is best for all. So no fear needs to be created of what others might think if I do what is best for all. By following this principle, I never harm anyone and thus I do not have to fear that others will also want to harm me. But of course, I will have to be careful that what I do is really what is best for all, and it is best to check with more people for their perspective in order to remove my subtle self-deceptions of believing that something I do is best for all while in fact it is not.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it is best for me to share Desteni information to others as much as possible, making sure that everyone's question is answered, any comment replied, every friendship accepted, and then only spending rest of the time for my personal stuff, instead of realising that it is not for me to be the head of Desteni Slovenia and do all the correspondence, that it is enough material out there on the internet for everyone to research for themselves if they are really interested in self-purification and making this world a better place.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that if I do not prove myself with constant sharing of solutions for this world, others will not accept me as model member of society, instead of realising that I have a limited capacity of supporting solutions that will bring a better world, and that I will only be able to participate effectively if I firstly take good care of my personal life and then only spend the rest of my time on changing the system and supporting others.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be judged by others if they see my pictures of me blogging, fearing that they will interpret them as me bragging, instead of realising that picture is simply a picture, a bunch of pixels, and whatever observer imagines that the picture represents, it is his own created believe in his mind and it has nothing to do what the picture really is, namely just a collection of colours and shapes.
   
   
4. I will always put the priority of sorting out my personal physical reality, the next point will be doing my Desteni I Process, and only the rest of the time will I dedicate to share Desteni information. Self-support first, otherwise I will not be able to support anyone else effectively. 

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2011 - Support for Relationship Demon possessed females

This is support for all women, who long for some specific person, who are in deep love into someone, but this someone is out of their reach or does not want to be in relationship with you.

Understand, that when you grow up, you are being imprinted with billions of information, mostly from your parents, and also from other people an media within your world. Some of those information are regarding relationships between man and a woman. You are fed with definitions of what is your role in this world as a female, how you should act and perform, and part of this female role is also to establish a relationship with some man, create family, have children and thus become a acceptable part of the society.

The parents are the first role model and then you observe also other relationships and copy the information into your subconscious mind. You start imagine your own ideal future relationship or family and thus produce desire for someone that would be able to fulfill this fantasy. Based on your past experience and programming from your parents, your fantasy is very specific of what the ideal partner should look like, how it should act and what shall provide for you in order for you to feel safe and loved.

Then within occasions where you are surrounded with other people, including men, you unconsciously start to observe and compare males with the ideal partner personality in your mind. When some gesture, word, or the looks of someone fits your inner picture of desired figure, then you start to project this ideal characteristics onto the selected male. You create the perception of this male as being something more, someone special, that is indispensable in your life in order to become completely fulfilled.

By this definition and labeling someone as more valuable as everything else, you create the point of inequality. You bring certain part of this creation above the other parts of existence and thus contribute to bringing the whole existence out of balance. Within the context of value, you separate something from everything else and give it much higher value, which result in creating two polarity points, one representing the desired female, and other representing the rest of existence. You stop paying your attention to everything around your equally and start focusing all your attention only on certain being.

Since you focus all your attention only onto someone, the friction within your mind-consciousness system occurs, and from this friction the energy is produced. This energy starts to flow and move within your psychical body and compound around your chest and belly region. The sensation of this energy you then call the feeling of love, and based on your accepted programming, you define this feeling as something normal, as part of the process of creating perfect, long lasting loving relationship. However you are not aware of the fact that it is your participation in your own mind who created this feeling, but project this manifestation out there, onto the person who you have started to define yourself, as being in love with.

However in reality, any being out there has nothing to do with how you feel. No one but yourself is responsible for you falling in love and experiencing the feeling of love. This is completely created by yourself within the mind-consciousness system by creating and holding onto point of inequality. If you continue to hold this point and time-loop in focusing all your mind attention onto someone, more and more energy is created. Within time, this anergy starts to become its own entity and thus the Relationship Demon is manifested.

This energetic demonic entity starts to posses you and slowly take control over you and your actions. You start to loose your mind and do not react in common sense anymore. You stop to treat everyone equally, you ignore their requests, wants and needs, and you start to move only in direction of fulfilling the desires of your Relationship Demon. You become obsessed with stalking selected male, writing him messages, expressing your love and dedication, describing how he is the only one that you are living for, and that he should give you a chance to live together, since you will do anything necessary to make him happy. Within your mind you enjoy the fantasy and pictures of the scenes where he and you will finally be together and live happily ever after.

If the male does not respond to your affectionate actions, then you start to become more and more desperate. Since you have defined the selected male as the source of your happiness and life fulfillment, by him not returning the attention, you define this state as the end of yourself, the road to life of misery and inner suffering. The consequences of feeding this energetic demon is manifested as pain in your body, you cry and desperately suffer. And once again, you are not aware that it is actually you who is inflicting the pain to yourself, but project the cause of the pain outside, onto the male who you desire.

By allowing yourself to go on with participating in this mind pattern, you feed the Relationship Demon to the extent that it totally possesses and consumes your. You end to exist as life and become nothing but energy that wants only more energy from other living beings. You do not take others into consideration, but only want to posses the targeted male, regardless of consequences. You try to get close to him, want to surprise him, perhaps even trap and rape him. If he would fight back, you would become violent and maybe even kill him. You actually do not care about him as a living being, you just want his energy of attention. So if he does not want to give you any attention, you allow yourself the emotion of envy and rather have him dead than allow him to give attention to any other being.

Thus, to prevent psychical or physical violence and murder, I suggest for every female, who experience the progression of described events, to stop immediately. Understand that energy is the trap and that results only in destruction. Life is not energy, the energy destroys life. Energy is produced by participating in mind-consciousness system that produces thoughts and fantasies. Whatever there is in your mind is all illusion. The reality is what is here as the physical in every moment of every breath. The mind allows you to create the bubble of separate individual reality that is different from the universal reality. When you try to impose your mind reality onto physical reality, the friction, energy, violence, pain and destruction is manifested. Thus I suggest not to participate in your mind at any time whatsoever and focus only on what is here in the physical.

The first support tool that helps you to ground yourself in the physical is breathing. If you are constantly aware of your breath, if every in-breath and out-breath is executed by your own will, than you effectively stop the thoughts to bother you and steal you attention from what is here. Thus make sure that you are aware of your breath constantly, in every single moment, without stopping. If you at any time notice, that you are in you mind, than you simply return your attention onto your breath. The other supportive tool is writing yourself to freedom, create mind constructs, indicate the accepted and allowed definitions that prevent you from considering all existence as one and equal, and then self-forgive those definitions. I recommend to research the Desteni I Process that will educate you effectively in tools to free yourself from influences of all energies and support your process of birthing yourself as life from the physical.

I am concluding this support with writing some self-forgiveness as one and equal with the female who has allowed and accepted to become possessed by self-created Relationship Demon. If you experience any level of possession, it is recommended that you read and speak this words out loud, since it will support you in shattering and defusing the mind patterns that in time crystalize and become one with the physical:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with someone, instead of standing up as life as one end equal to everyone else.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that falling in love is something normal and desirable, instead of realizing that this is just the information that I have accepted from my environment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall with the excuse of love, instead of realizing that the world "fall" indicates that I am not "standing" anymore, and that I need to remove all things that make me "fall", regardless of their nature.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love only as the feeling, instead of realizing that every feeling is the friction-produced energy, and that real love is the practical living as one and equal to every single living being and doing what is best for all.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that experiencing the feeling of love is the necessary experience that I need to get in order to complete my life, instead of realizing that in the moment that I desire something different from what is here in this moment, I actually stop myself as life and become energy that destroys all life.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for specific partner, based on my subconsciously created pictures and personality definitions of ideal male, instead of realizing that I can be in successful partnership with anyone who is willing to enter the agreement with me, where each one of us will support other equally.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as female and allow myself to create female personality and act according to what others have told me that I have to act like just because of my sex, instead of realizing that who I am is life and that any definition that defines me as something less that life is just going to limit my self-expression.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the energetic experience of feelings and emotions, believing that to be able to feel is what makes me human and warm and pleasant person, instead of realizing that the nature of energy is to distract me from what is here and that allowing the energy will consequently bring me pain and death.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believing that thinking is the part of who I am, instead of realizing that thoughts are produced by the mind-consciousness system that is enslaving us in time-loops where we repeat mistakes over and over, until we realize that mind is illusion and that what is real is only physical creation in this moment.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone as something more, and then project my definitions out there, instead of realizing that all definitions are my own creation and that no one but me is responsible for how I perceive everything that exists.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to uplift or degrade any part of reality and thus create the point of separation and polarity, instead of realizing that we are all one and equal and that any part of creation can not exist as more and less valuable than others.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can not live and be satisfied without some partner, instead of realizing that I am individual living being that does not need anyone to exist, live end express itself fully in every single moment.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to breathe and be here, instead of realizing that whenever I forget to breathe and start participating in my mind, I stop being aware of what I am actually doing and thus inflicting paint to myself and others.

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