My Desteni process support for self-realization: Writing myself to freedom by focusing on my breath, stopping the mind and inherited behaviour patterns, getting aware of my unconscious thoughts by bringing them here by writing, taking full responsibility for all of my emotional reactions by self-forgiveness of all accepted and allowed beliefs, ideals, and definitions and applying self-corrective application to direct myself as one and equal with all living beings and do what is best for all.
It is odd how I started to feel recently where I am not worried anymore about the lack of time to do all what I committed myself to do in a day. I have been regularly vlogging in Slovenian language now for 112 days and each week I would also record one vlog in English language. However I have not been doing any writing in the last couple of week. So now I have decided to also restart blogging however I did not want to commit to do only one or couple of blog post per month or week, I got incredible feeling that I will be simply able to write one blog each day.
I guess this is new feeling is the consequence of deciding to restart my graphic design services that I find very enjoyable since I am able to express myself and also earn money easily. In the past several months I have been focusing on developing a big project and was doing design work only for my father occasionally and the second source of money was from social support. I kinda did not want to do any other work since I wanted to focus on my big project.
However this big project was such that that it required a lot of planning, organizing, collaborating and especially waiting. I was not able to move to the next step until I would be given a certain feedback from involved parties so this held me in a state of dissatisfaction. However as a designer I am able to get several design projects that take many days to complete and I can fill my day with the work tasks and I feel very fulfilled since I am doing creative work and express myself.
So despite of deciding to get additional work besides the big project that I am developing, I am now so excited that I see myself willing to write also one blog post per day with great satisfaction. It feels like I was suppressing myself all that time and now the clouds cleared and the sun begun to shine.
Related audio interview recommended for listening:
Today in the morning I had a meeting with a new interesting person who is also very in self-research and improvement. Two hours of conversation went by very quickly and I was to face again the next step of my sales activities. I was to restructure the presentation narrative and then also realign the presentation flip-chart graphics which I also did. I took me a lot of decision making how to design all the material for the best impact. In the afternoon when I was to go out and arrange in-house visits, the storm clouds accumulated and rain with thunder stoke from the skies.
At the same time as the storm raged, my mind lost its stability. A slight fear and dizziness appeared in my head and was disappointed due to estimation that I will not be able to execute the visits that I planned. I lied down on the bed and started to think about how long will it take me to even start the new job properly and when I would actually make the first sale. The whole process is takin so long, too long. I started to imagine how I will give myself another day to prepare myself even better for the presentation. I said to myself that tomorrow would be the day. However it turned out different.
After on hour of resting in the bed, my head became stable and the rain stopped. I still had about two or three hours left before in would become too late for the home visits. So I sad to myself that it would be the best to make some visits today and thus brake the ice even if I would achieve best results. Most important is to move forward and to gain as much practice as possible. So I dressed up, packed all the presentation and went on the road.
I targeted a small new neighborhood that I knew from before when I was searching for my own apartment in the town a year ago. I found the blocks very nice and expected a lot of young families to live there which is my target population. I started to ring the bells and made the talks. Many of them, about 70% were not even at home which is a usual percentage. I visited two blocks and then decided to stop for today. I did not manage to do any presentation, however I handed out couple of business cards and couple of people were willing to talk to me if I visit them at some other time which is also cool.
In the evening I had a chat with my mentor who evaluated my approach and corrected me for the better effect in the future. I realized how what I said created resistance in other people and what is best to be said in order to collect as much orders as possible. The main point in pre-presentation talks is not to give to much information, but just a little in order to create curiosity. I also met a girl who I found very attractive and now I am thinking if I should do anything to check if she is available and if I should try to make a connection or if I should focus on business for now.
Anyway, I made progress and I am satisfied with my achievement. I will now push myself every day a step forward until I became excellent and very successful in sales. It is not just about money, what is cool about direct sales is that one develops communication skills and overcomes many fears and resistances that prevent oneself to fully express itself. Physically moving and making live conversation with others is an effective tool for self-realization. Thus I also suggest others to engage in sales activities and experience all the beneficial effects of direct marketing.
I have been feeling very down and heavy in past several days. It felt like I weighted twice the normal weight, I just wanted to rest and was not able to do much work. This was because I have been exposed to information from TV news about financial crisis, recession, prices of gas going up and similar concerning events. Together with not having enough money to pay for my rent on time, I felt quite depressed and started to consider what are the options to go out of these heavy feelings.
I could have done some self-forgiveness, but I was soo down that I could not even type or speak the words. I searched for the solution and then I remembered that some physical exercise could move and release those energies. Since I am in the center of capital city of our Slovenia country, I am not very fun of running on the streets and woods and mountains are quite far away. I wanted to come with a solution that I would be able to use daily and that is very practical. Thus I remember that a rebounder was suggested as the jumping up and down an the elastic canvas is an exercise that also what has been recommended by NASA.
I searched local web site for used sports equipment and someone has been selling a 1,5 meter diameter round used rebounder for just 30 euros which I considered to be a very cool price. I immediately called the guy on the phone and asked if I may come and test the piece. He confirmed, I jumped into my car and in 20 minutes I was already doing the test jumps. What was also cool is that the device flopped twice so it fitted into my car very easily. When I returned home I washed all the pieces since they were slightly dusty due to outdoor use and soon I was already jumping up in the air like crazy.
I can say it assisted me a lot since a smile came to my face and I started to feel much more relaxed. Similar exercise are also what at Desteni was suggested within the Structural Resonance Alignment course and they also have a quite large trampoline at Desteni farm in South Africa where I payed them a visit last year. I now keep my rebounder as for of first aid right in the middle of anteroom and I use it several time a day. The next day after first use I experienced pain on top of my shoulders and on the belly. I was warned that after first use some muscles would hurt since this exercise activates many muscles, including some new ones that one does not use in usually.
In addition to this physical exercise I also took advice to stop listening only news about destruction and degradation on this world, and to watch some comedy movie or similar that would bring me joy and laughs. Thus I started to watch the YouTube clips of Talent Shows where different people would perform singing, magic and other variety acts. I enjoyed those clips a lot and I would watch day for couple of hours late into night. I started to become possessed with energy of good feelings and it was hard for me to stop watching those movies. So thus I started to slowly drift to the other polarity of emotional energy. Some acts moved me so much that even tears started to emerge from my eyes.
This is my pattern of exchange between bad emotions and good feelings that direct my life instead of me directing myself without influence of any energy. I noticed that when I have enough money I feel relaxed and I spend a lot and at that time I just want to enjoy and do not care much about future plans to establish the proper money flow in order to constantly have enough money for my needs. Only when it is almost too late, when it is the last chance to start digging myself out of deep shit, I became motivated enough by the fear of loss so that I take action and do something in order to earn some money again.
This time I decided to sell my video and photo equipment and I made an effort to prepare the ads and collect the emails of all the video production companies in our country. The next day after I sent them an email with my offer, several people already expressed interest in some pieces of my equipment. Thus I was able to transform my belongings into money very quickly. I learned lately that one should not be ashamed to sell some possessions that one does not need so it can be invested into projects that would soon bring back even more money. And I am also prepared to move to cheaper apartment and do whatever necessary in order to fix my life.
So the only thing that is completely detrimental for avery individual are mind patterns of constant worry about what all bad things might happen in the future and being afraid of loosing objects of possession. Some people who are currently very successful have gone bankrupt in the past but they raised themselves up again and rebuilt their lives again. Thus it is not important how many times you fall but that how many times you stand up. Of course going bankrupt is not a magic formula for success and I also have no intention to completely waste all my money but for some they need to go through this experience in order to change their thinking and behavior patterns.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself a good feeling when I have enough money and feeling of safety and thus not having motivation to move myself as life, instead of realizing that energies are what destroy life thus it is necessary to direct myself in every breath and do what is best for all and release any accumulated energy of bad or good feelings and emotions.
And this is a very supporting video from Sunette Spies in regards to becoming emotional when watching some movie scenes that I highly recommend:
