Day 130: Got cold

Two weeks ago I got cold and it is just now that I am getting completely ok. The situation started with getting unpleasant feeling in my throat and then it started to leak out of my nose. The phlegm was initially very thin and it gradually became dense. It irritated my nose and thus I started so sneeze and at the end due to change of viscosity it irritated my throat so I started to cough.  A very common situation however I did not expect to get sick since I have been in perfect health in the past several years and was also proud about that. So when I got cold I felt embarrassed and ashamed. It was like I mismanaged my life and allowed the compromise my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sick people are irresponsible losers and that if one is eating healthy and excessing regularly it can not get sick. I realize that there are also other influences that contribute to people getting sick. Especially now where the mind consciousness system has been inverted and viruses can access deeper levels of the human bodies, getting sick has become more frequent occurrence than before. I commit myself that when I see myself and others getting sick and my mind would start judge myself and other, convincing me that one is completely responsible for own health, to see this as mind deception and return by awareness back here by focusing on my breath. I understand that there also other influences that can harm our health and despite of eating healthy and exercising regularly, our physical bodies can become compromised by outside influences and thus a disease develops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be proud of my good health and to claim the credits for it. I realize that my physical body is a complex system of many microorganisms that collaborate without my awareness. I commit myself that when and as my mind produces thoughts about how cool I am because I am not sick, to see those thoughts as lies, to take a deep breath and return my focus back on my physical body. 

Recommended related resources:

Mind + Virus Versus Body

The Virus and the Body

The Evolution of Viruses

Fighting off Viruses

The Life of a Scientist

Virus Free Mind 

Day 116: Got sick

Days 113 to 116 are in my Slovenian blog

Five days ago on Saturday morning I had a business presentation for the product that I am selling. It all went relatively I was late 10 minutes for the meeting however their location was not in the GPS correctly anyway. Initially they expected to have a meeting outside in front of the house, however since it was still quite cold, I suggested that we move inside the house which we did. Interior was not very clean since they had a very big dog and you know how it is if you have and animal in the house. The presentation that takes usually up to two hours has stretched to three and a half hours however they did not immediately decide to buy the product so I left the contract there and gave them one month to decide and benefit from the discount.

I don't remember if it was the same or the next day when I started to experience sore throat. I considered it to be due to giving a very long presentation and extensive speech thus my vocal cords got overused. However this was strange since it was not the first time I have such a long talk and never have I experienced such pain.

The next day I focused on updating one of my web sites and I was quite focused, better to say obsessed with finishing all required details by the evening. And when I went to bed the throat condition got worse. I experienced irritation in the throat thus my mouth constantly produced saliva and I had to swallow very frequently. However whenever I would swallow I would experience great pain in my throat. So I struggled all the night very much and did not sleep a lot.

The next evening the pain in my throat diminished a bit however I felt extremely cold. I turned on the heater and covered myself with two blankets and I felt still like freezing. Well in couple of hours the condition went to other direction. I became hot, extremely hot. Thus I uncovered myself completely and then also sickness appeared. I also started to experience vertigo or spinning in my head. Then the sickness became so strong I had to vomit.

The third day the pain in my throat was gone and I got nasal congestion. It started to pour out of my nose extensively and I used all my napkins. From the first day I got sick I decided not to eat anything and to drink also a herbal tea with lots of lemon. However I expected to get better faster than I actually is my speed of recovery. Today is the fourth day and also the nose condition stabilized itself completely. Now I wonder what was actually the cause for me getting so sick. It could be the accumulation of several things.

Two days before I did a presentation I went to visit my grandmother who also became very ill and started to vomit. The next day she was accepted to the hospital and they removed some stones from her belly. Then I am a bit worried about how to get enough money until the end of the month to pay my rent. Then I am disappointed about my landlord since she still did not fixed the leaking roof of my apartment after several months of discovering the leak. Then I was worrying if the person who promised me to assist in my business will keep her word, bus she is not answering my phone calls and emails for three days now.

All this with a lot of minor point could accumulate to the cause of me getting sick. So I must be more careful about my thought management not to go out of balance so much again. It is strange how much our physical body depends on mental condition. And how thought in our heads are so fast and intangible that they are quite hard to direct. However I will have to keep it going and direct my thought more firmly since as has been proven many times, the thoughts then start to direct me eventually. 

2011 - How physical supports me with itching and vertigo in detail

I have been raised up to become a good brave boy that my parents could be proud of. My mother worked as a midwife and my father was firstly a chimney sweeper, than a head of a air cleaning unit in the steel factory and then he finally started his own business. In the beginning we produced innovative products for steel industry and when recession started, we transformed into visual communications family business. With my younger brother I was helping to produce stuff and services since elementary school and we were not allowed to go out since we could end in the bad company.

During the years of working, I had to obey my father and do what he wanted me to, so I learned to suppress my emotions. This suppression started to manifest on my physical body as the itching region of the skin around my genitals. Firstly I did not know what the reason was, so I went to a doctor who prescribed the treatment with some ointment. This did not help, so I researched alternative medicine and visited several different Chinese and Ayurvedic specialist, but nothing helped. Then after years of the research and experiences, I recognized that there is nothing out there that can help me, since the cause of the problem is within me. I noticed that the pinching itching sensations manifested every time when I had certain kind of thoughts and emotional reactions. When I met Desteni in october 2009, I became familiar with the tools of self-forgiveness and advanced tools of mind constructs that supported me in defusing this emotional reactions. I have noticed, that within last year, I have gradually became more and more stable, the itching diminished extensively, and also the general skin condition improved significantly.

A few years ago I also started to experience vertigos. Several times a year I got so sudden strong vertigo with nausea that I vomited, but this lasted just one day. But a few months ago, I got I massive vertigo that diminished slowly only after one week. This happened after spending a weekend with some girl and then she returned home monday morning. I started to research what could be the cause of the vertigos. Some small vertigos also started to manifest suddenly during the day and I noticed that it appeared after certain form of thinking or mind patterns. I became very attentive about what I was thinking the moment before the vertigo appeared. Most of this small ones went away after I lied down on the sofa and took a short nap for half an hour or so. But I am noticing that I have become more and more sensitive to certain mind patterns and that I had to become more careful about what I am thinking. I could say that the physical has starting to become more and more demanding and that the tolerance level of my unequal thinking has reduced.

Now I have been researching what kind of mind patterns result in what kind of physical support and I came to the following conclusion. The support of itching is related to the mind patterns of anger, intolerance and rushing, thus also the skin developed a rash. It can also be described as the the production of hot energy that burns and disintegrates my skin. Thus I need to cool down my emotions, forgive myself and breathe effectively. And the support of vertigo is related to different kind of mind patterns, like over achiever, superiority and is linked also to emotions like envy and arrogance, wanting to become something more, higher, reaching the sky, thus my head stopped me with the vertigo in order to lower myself down to the equal level with others. The sensation when thinking this kind of mind patterns is like some kind of heavy fog or pickling and tingling feeling that compounds and expands and occupies my whole head. And when I start breathing effectively, my head becomes clear and table again.

So I need constantly to pay attention to my mind patterns and not allowing any anger or envy in order to avoid sensation of itching or vertigo and constantly breathe effectively. I am very thankful to physical for this support, since it mirrors my actions very clearly and supports me on the path to self-realization.
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