2011 - How I met Desteni

I have been raised in a family where we had our own business, so I was provided with basically everything that I desired. However I also had to work long hours and obey my father who was the boss. While I had enough of physical necessities, I was not very fun about the way how our relationships among family members developed. There was a lot of self-interest, deception, accusation, projections, so I became more and more frustrated. I did not know how to fix this until I met I girl who was in similar condition and we decided to move together to own apartment in order to be able to sort things out. But after living together for three years, she left me with excuse that she does not feel safe. Since we had enough money, shelter, clothes, time, and I did not abuse her in any way whatsoever, I was desperate, not knowing what I was doing wrong to deserve this.

So it was in year 2000 when I was left alone in my apartment and firmly decided to find out what is going on in peoples minds. I wanted to know what life is, what all is about, who and what I am, and what to be careful about in order not to make the same mistakes. Thus in the past 10 years, I practically researched every field that involves human behavior, our physical body, and also what is going on after death. I read holy books of all big religions, participated in religious and new age spiritual groups, and also researched western and alternative medicine. This is because I noticed that some rush on the skin around my genitals developed and it started to itch me each time I found myself in some unacceptable situation. I tried yogas, tantras, reiki, angles and every other possible solution, but it did not helped me in any way whatsoever.

In the fall of 2009 I stumbled upon Desteni videos on YouTube where some beings were speaking through interdimensional portal. It was quite odd to see the deep inhalation and exhalation process at the beginning and end of the videos, but what has been said, made a lot of sense to me. I continued to watch videos for many months and then decided to join the forum. In January 2010 I applied for 'Desteni I Process' course that was called 'Structural Resonance Alignment Training' at that time and I am continuing with the study up to this day. I can testify that the process assisted me more than everything that I experienced in past 10 years of my spiritual practice together. I became more stable, I stopped the emotional reactions within myself, the skin condition healed, and I am now digging deeper and deeper in my mind and defusing all remaining points of separation.

While I immediately embraced Desteni message with great enthusiasm due to my past experiences, I understand that many are not able to become opened for Desteni to the extend that I have become. It is disheartening to see how some people become even Desteni haters and make troubles to the group who actually wants to make this world a better place for all. This is basically due to lack of understanding what Desteni is really about. They notice just some aspects of Desteni and immediately compare and connect it with some stories, movies, news reports and books that they have heard, watched or read in the past. But Desteni is nothing like anything that ever existed. Never has any individuals or groups started to take self-responsibility, never has anyone done what is best for all, never has equality among all living beings been lived here practically. So I suggest everyone to take a deep breath, slow down and read all the material to become acquainted what we actually do. And hopefully you will also join us in the effort to remove all the evil from this world for good.

Desteni and Destoninan videos that impressed me the most:
01. I am ONE vote for World Equality and Equal Rights
02. The Credibility of Desteni
03. The Cult of Desteni Beliefs & Practices Part 1
04. The Cult of Desteni Beliefs & Practices Part 2
05. Animal Bugs & Plants in Equal Money System
06. SELF FORGIVENESS as LIFE
07. Law of Attraction has a HIDDEN Secret no-one Shares.
08. Aura and the colors that reveal the truth
09. Chakras and their purpose
10. Lightworker 101 - Meditation Prayer Protection
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2011 - Facing fear of future challenges

Big plans ahead: Moving to capital city Ljubljana, renting apartment, restarting photography business, adding video services, launching Desteni accessories shop. All this triggered a lot of subconscious fear that again manifested as movement in my head, called vertigo. How do I know that vertigo is all about fear? It is triggered immediately after I allow and accept some thought of fear and anxiety when I am experiencing some tuff decisions. Like for example when I was in the middle of meeting with web store programming company. After the head of projects explained that tags in the web store are totally ignored by Google search engine, the picture in front of my eyes shifted like someone would push my head swiftly for several decimetres. And the same day, when I picked my grandmother with my car, in the middle of the road, while she was describing how some of her friend finished university and planned to raise her two children and be able to cope with all the challenges, when she started to explain that this women is now experiencing strong vertigo and lying in the bed hopelessly, the vertigo also started to emerge in my head, so I had to stop the car at the nearest parking place and rest for about 20 minutes. And there is a lot of similar cases where I experienced vertigo as result of some subconscious or unconscious fear.

A lot changed since I was a young boy, being protected by my parents, simply doing what I was told to, and being provided with all I needed. But then while becoming older, many responsibilities compounded, and when meeting Desteni, I became aware of my responsibility even for everything that I allow and accept in this current reality. And also the social safety started to diminish extensively. Since I am now moving to city that I treated just a few years ago as smelly, hot, noisy, violent concrete place, where I would not want to live ever, I am experiencing great anxiety about how will I be able to cope with future challenges. While in the big city there is a lot of opportunity to earn money, there is also a lot of competition, impatience and hurry. I am now in the closing stage of renting apartment in the strict centre of the city, right next to several universities and Italian embassy. The apartment is in the old house with high ceilings, which is great for my photo studio, but the parquet is old and creaking. It is in the 1st floor, without reserved parking place. There is a big parking place at the back of universities, but it is almost totally full from morning to 5pm.

I also plan to sell my car Renault Clio and buy some kind of van, like Mercedes Vito or Renault Espace, in order to transport a lot of photography equipment and Desteni merchandising. And I plan to employ one or two assistants that will support my business projects. So from working alone in quiet countryside for many years, I am pushing myself into total new, unfamiliar environment in order to have the greater impact towards making this world a better place. The fear is of course connected to the money, the fear of survival, of loosing all the money or not having enough money to be able to support myself effectively. It is the projection of recent experience where I changed my photography business to counselling business and fell in debt due to pushing the advertising of my services too much and not stopping soon enough. This destroyed my self-trust quite a bit, so now I am much more afraid of loosing the money again. And I have compromised myself because I was not careful enough about my financial situation, I did not follow all the transactions in detail, so I got surprised by expenses becoming larger than my income.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be afraid of unknown instead of breathing effectively and remaining here all the time and walking by life breath by breath without thinking what might happen or even considering only the bad things that might happen to me.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define large cities as ugly, smelly, noisy and unfriendly, instead of realising that this is my self-created idea that has nothing to do with practical experience, thus I will know how life in the city is only if I allow myself to live there without any pre-conceived ideas or judgements.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that my life could be endangered if I loose all my money, since in our country, we have sufficient social support that helps people without jobs to at least get the food, and I am skilful and knowledgeable to earn enough money anytime, as I have proved in past years to myself.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create myself plans of how my business should develop and become afraid if I hear some information that would compromise my plan, instead of realising that life is about constant adjustment to new current situation and new information that people who I interact with contribute, thus it is best for me to only gave agendas and goals and go with the flow.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to try to upkeep certain social personality of good person that is doing what is best for all and become afraid if I perceive this personality to become compromised, instead of realising that it is not important what others think about me and how they perceive me, but what I really am as living being, what I stand for within, since I am the only judge for myself and self-honestly is thus the most important thing about my life.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to neglect the detailed following of financial situation, instead of understanding that money is the currently very important thing in this world and the tool for gaining goals, thus it is best to take more care about my financial reports in order to assure not to compromise my financial status again.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to wanting to do everything by myself and owning the tools instead of realising that if want to be more effective in achieving my goals, I will have to learn how to co-operate with other people and use their resources, since when working in the group everybody can contribute their knowledge and skills and be much more influential that I alone could ever be.
   
   
8. When I do my job, I pay attention of the money flow and I make sure that I have enough income to be cover all my expenses and be profitable in order to successfully invest in the projects that will make this world a better place.
   
   
9. When I hire the people, I stay here, breathe effectively, explain my agenda and goals and then let everyone to contribute their ideas and suggestions in order for the project to succeed much better and faster that I could imagine for myself.

If you want to learn more about self-forgiveness and how to clear your subconscious fears and other emotions and feelings that distract you from what is really here, then I suggest to join 'Desteni I Process'. If you wish to remove all the fear of survival, hunger and wars from this world, then research and support the 'Equal Money System'. And soon we will have a true heaven on earth.
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2011 - My grandmother > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

This is the excerpt of my finished and approved Advanced Mind Construct assignment of the third most influential person in my life as part of self-realisation online coaching program 'Desteni I Process' where we face our accepted and allowed subconscious mind patterns that trigger immediate emotional reactions. In the first step, called 'Ranting and Raving' we write down everything that comes on our minds about topic that we currently walk. Then in the following two steps, called 'Paragraphs' and 'Skeleton' we narrow the amount of information in order to expose the main points, and in the next three steps, called 'Memories', 'Components' and 'Self-Forgiveness with Self-Corrective statements', we expand by digging deep into our minds, expose all secret memories, identify the forms of our self-deception within these memories and finally defuse those emotional triggers by taking full self-responsibility with tool of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements.

Step 1 > Ranting & Raving:

My grandmother was a very big protector for me. My grandfather died a few years ago, so she has been living alone since then. She is a very active lady, constantly doing something, assisting other people, involved in the senior club, and she is a great cook. I used to come and visit her for a weekend, usually at Fridays or Saturdays at the evening, and she would prepare me a great feast. She constantly baked cookies and cakes, and when I would arrive, she would prepare me fried potato chips, fried chicken or fish and green leaves salad, since I preferred those dishes the most. I would just lie on the sofa, and she would cook for me with great joy. In the mean time, I would watch movies, since I did not have a TV set at home, and I would watch them until early in the morning. Then I would spend the night at her place and the next morning I would go home.

About three years ago she fell and broke some major bone and had a great pain and needed assistance. Since no one of us had time to assist her all the time, we decided to be the best to sell her apartment and to move her to the retirement home. She fully recovered now and is active again. Now she lives in a room with some other old lady who has trouble walking, and she is assisting her. Since now she does not have a kitchen of her own, she assists in the retirement home kitchen and she collects and is given some food as award and she then saves it for me. Lately I come to see her at Sundays and pick her up at 8:30 after the breakfast. We put all the food for me and also for others from her religious group in the bags, and then we usually go to visit the grave of my mother/her daughter who committed suicide two years ago. We tidy up the gravestone and light some candles. Then we go to my place where I pick the food for me from the bags and put in into the fridge, and in the meanwhile she visits her friend in the neighborhood or irons my laundry.

At 10:00 I drive her to the next village where she joins her Jehovah Witnesses religious group. My grandmother has much resentment towards my father since she believes that he used all the money from selling her apartment for his own needs, and she also resents my brother for being such nasty towards me. But I encourage her to forgive herself all that judgments and live here in peace with everyone. My father does not want to eat any food that she bring from the retirement home since it is basically forbidden to transport the food out of the retirement home, but she can not help herself to stop doing this. So I allow her to feel as someone who can support me a bit, and I am also thankful since I do not need to buy much food in the store. I though have a bit of a bad feeling since it is forbidden to transport food out of the retirement home

Step 6 > Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to grandfather’s behavior due to my expectation that he must behave nicely and speak polite to his wife, instead of realizing that every expectation or ideal of how one must behave is a believe, accepted from other people, and that however someone behaves, I must not emotionally react but breathe and stay here.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my grandfather’s behavior to his experience of suffering in the Dachau concentration camp and defining his behavior as self-pity, instead of realizing that whenever I made any assumption that someone is behaving in regards to his past experiences is my own created believe and it has nothing to do with the actual someone’s expression in this moment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry when my grandmother offered me the meat dish while I was a vegetarian instead of realizing that if someone offers me some dish that I do not want to eat, it is up to me to decline it while remaining stable inside and that there has never have to be any reason for any emotional reaction.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose motivation while explaining my grandmother my perspective about the diet, instead of remaining patient and stable within, breathing effectively and continue with explanation until she will finally get it.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become inpatient with my grandmother since I defined her as too old and incapable of understanding what I am saying, instead of realizing that it will take a lot of time and enormous patience in order for everyone to understand the principles of self-responsibility and what takes to practically manifest heaven on earth.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decline the food from the starting point of proving who is right and wrong and trying to prove that I am right, instead of realizing that the only valid judge if the food is appropriate for me is my physical body and it is best for me to listen to my physical senses and eat whatever and whenever my eye, nose and tongue indicate that some food is good for me.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the senses of my physical body are not valid and that I need to pick my diet based on what other people and books tell me is right, instead of realizing that we all have unique body, that there is no diet that is best for all, and that is best to ask my physical body to tell me what food is the most suitable for me.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I decided to eat fish and defining this as my grandmother winning over me instead of realizing that if I decide something, based on what is best for me, it does not meter who gave the suggestion to do that, and that there is no reason to have any good od bad feelings, but just to accept this decision and remain here.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine how my grandmother is selling the batteries to her clients and how she enjoys doing that, instead of realizing that whatever I imagine in my mind is self-deception, a lie, and has nothing to do with the actual events end experiences of other people within these events, thus it is best not to imagine anything anytime and ask about the exact actual facts.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feelings of envy in regards to imaginative activities of my grandmother, instead of realizing that any created feelings towards people in my imagination is double self-deception, and that even in real life I should never compare myself to anyone and not allow any feelings and emotions towards anyone since they are all the result of separation.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate my grandmother’s activities and her benefits in regards to that activities and wanting to do the same things in order to gain the similar benefits, instead of realizing that whenever I compare myself to anyone, I separate myself from what is here and loose myself in the mind, thus it is best to always only observe other people’s activities, breathe effectively and remain here without allowing any thoughts or desires.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about what benefits will I receive when grandmother gives me something, instead of simply accepting things from anyone if I can practically use them and then store them and use them whenever I need them, without going in my mind and thinking about all possible scenarios in relation to things that are given to me.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid if someone would stop while carrying the bag full of food that grandmother gave me due to perception that my life is depended on the food in the bag and that if someone will stop me, my life will get compromised, instead of realizing that I have enough money to buy me plenty of food to survive, and even if I am prevented to receive the food from my grandmother, I will still be fine.
    
    
14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad about breaking the rule of the food not being allowed to be transported outside the senior home, instead of realizing that I have never actually checked if this rule is really in place, and that since everyone in the senior home is allowing my mother to pick and collect the food, they are obviously allowing her to do with the food whatever she wants, and that if I am braking any rule, I will only know that if someone will inform me that my actions are not allowed, so there is nothing for me to actually having to worry about.
    
    
15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admire my grandmother for her actions, defining them as generous, and becoming envious about her, instead of realizing that actions of people are just actions that bring consequences and I am also capable of performing any actions the same as anyone else, so it best not to define others and their actions as something more than me an my actions, but to remain stale within and do my self-movement towards what is best for all.
    
    
16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prevent my grandmother to do my laundry due to my created belief that I will this way over-exploit her and that she better rests due to her advance age, instead of realizing that whenever someone wants to assist me, I can simply allow the assistance since it will relief some of my jobs, and not allow myself any definitions about what others are capable on not capable of doing.
    
    
17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do everything for myself in order to feel good, instead of realizing that this way I am limiting my expansion, so it is better to start collaborating with others in order to make much more things done.
    
    
18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my grandmother has over-criticized my mother and is thus responsible for the suicide of my mother/her daughter, instead of realizing that each one of us is responsible for what we accept and allow and thus my mother is the only who is responsible for allowing and accepting the thoughts and feelings that eventually made her to commit suicide.
    
    
19. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel responsible for my grandmother to forgive herself all the feelings of blame towards my mother, father and brother, instead of realizing that there is nothing more that I can do besides explaining her how we are all responsible for our thoughts, feelings and emotions and teaching her by my own example of remaining here, stable within and never giving up on anyone.
    
    
20. When I want to express my perspective to someone, I understand that I others can get to understanding only when I became one and equal with them and explain them as I would like to have explained if I was in their shoes, so I remain here, with unlimited patience, and explain the points slowly and clearly until people reach full understanding of what I want to communicate.
    
    
21. When I am offered food, I look it with my eyes, I smell it with my nose, I taste it with my tongue and then accept it if I find it appropriate for my human physical body and if I am hungry in that moment, other wise I decline the food without while remaining here and stable within.
    
    
22. When I am in doubt if I am breaking some rule or law, I do not allow myself in the state of doubt, but check the rules and laws until I am totally clear what they demand from me and then I walk within this system without breaking any laws and agreements and slowly change the system and laws as one and equal with the system and remove or change the rules so that the system starts to support everyone equally and becomes manifestation of environment that is best for all.
    
    
23. When I see someone doing something, I observe the physical actions and pictures moving in front of my eyes while remaining stable within, one and equal with the person that I observe and keep my awareness that what others do, I would be able to do the same if I would be in their bodes, but since we have different bodies, we have all different physical abilities, but are all equal in terms of unlimited expression within current limitations of our physical bodies.
    
    
24. When someone offers to physically and practically assist me, I accept the assistance while breathing effectively and remaining here with understanding that if I have some things that need to be done, it is supportive if someone assists me and thus saves my time to do those things, since it is not important who does what, as long every single action is the result of self-expression and executed with use of principle of equality of all living beings.
    
    
25. When I notice that some being is harming other I do not allow the abuse and take actions in order to stop the abuse, while being careful that I am one and equal with the being that I want to stop from being abusive in order for the being to be able to understand the consequences of its actions, accept self-responsibility and correct itself towards not harming others anymore.

So if you wish to become emotionally stable, please research 'Desteni I Process' online program that will teach you how to become self-honest and responsible human being that acts upon principles of equality of all living beings and does what is best for all. And if you decide to assist others in this process, you can become and agent and eventually a buddy and thus earn a lot of money. If you want me to assist you in this process, enter my name 'Valentin Rozman' and my student number '140' when you register. Let us all become better human beings and create heaven on earth!
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