Day 124: Continuation with blogging using new sequence

It has been many months since I last wrote in my English blog. The last blog post had sequence number 123 but then I wrote only in my Slovenian blog and the last post there is currently Day 198. In the middle of July 2014 I also started with regular daily vlogging in Slovenian language. I started to sequence them with Day 1 and at the time of writing this post the last one is already Day 47.

I record now vlogs every morning where I would wake up around 6 AM and run to the gym which is about 20 minutes away from my home. At the start of the trip to the gym I would record about 10 minute long vlog where I would share my realizations and Desteni perspective on a selected topic. When I return from the gym, I would sometimes also edit the video by inserting links and screenshots and then upload it to my YouTube channel. The final phase would be adding the video description, adding active links and finally sharing on social networks.

The whole procedure for one single video takes abut 1,5 hours each day. This gave me a feeling of satisfaction and believe that I have done a significant part of walking my process so I was not motivated much to also do any additional blogging besides my weekly DIP Pro assignment. So for 47 days since I started with daily vlogging I did not write a single blog not in English not in Slovenian language.

Then a couple of days ago I decided to restart with more regular blogging and I committed myself to write at least 4 blog posts per month, mostly in English language. And I would make also one English vlog per week or 4 per month. I already made my first English vlog after many months and I decided to also sequence the starting with Day 1. So I will be progressing each of my vlogs and blog posts with separate sequencing and will thus not jump any more from Slovenian to English blog and back as I have been doing so far.

Day 96: Money Money Money

Days from 92 to 95 are in my Slovenian blog

I was thinking lately about my mind patterns in regards to money. I asked myself why I was not able to generate wealth with the same ease as some others did. So I decided now to write these points out and see what I discover and realize within that.

As every child I became used for parents to provide for everything I needed. My father was firstly employed in the factory but then started our family business. Even though I was formally employed in our company I have not been receiving salary but had to ask parents to buy me stuff or give me some allowance. Only at age of 25 when I moved to my own apartment and won to work only 8 hours per day, I started to receive salary.

And also then my parents pressured me to continue to work at our or their company and supported me in buying my own apartment. At age of 27 I registered my own business and started earning money on my own. Since I had no expenses with the rent, I generated enough income very easy. I worked just for couple of hours a day and earned enough for the food and invested the rest in the research and development of the projects that I liked.

Three years ago I decided to sell my apartment and move to Ljubljana capital city. I decided for a big apartment where I would live and also work in my studio. The rent was very high and also additional monthly costs. However due to large sum of money from the apartment sale I did not worry about running out of money soon. However now after three years of investing in projects and spending money on travel and networking, I got myself unprepared for the fact that all the money is gone.

I kinda lost track of how much money I have and how much money I need to generate in order to stay in the big expensive apartment. Also the economic situation did its toll and from the business services that I offered there were not enough clients to cover all the expenses. Thus I recently decided to move to smaller and cheaper apartment. Now I am thinking what I have to do in order to improve my financial situation and raise myself high up from the ashes. 

During my regular walks in the nearby hills with the woods I find myself surrounded by plants and think about how Mother Nature is giving us all what we need for free. And we the humans then put price tags on things and sell them to each other. All the land is owned by someone and if you want to have stuff, you have to have money. This fact about money and putting price tags to things that are free seems to me very bizarre and unnatural.

Thus I also find very difficult putting the price tags on my services and deciding what the values of my products should be. I would rather do things for free but this is unrealistic in the system that we currently have. So even though I would rather change the system into something like Equal Money System where a dignified life is unconditionally guaranteed for all, I have to consider current state of reality and then create changes within and as the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to give up due to believe that current world system is all fucked up, that humans are parasites and that it is best for the world for all humans to die out instead of realizing that self-pity and blame is unproductive and I just waste my life and potentials.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to track my incomes and outcomes and thus not being aware of my current financial status instead of realizing that tracking money flow is the foundation of successful human life in the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that if I charge money for my services I within this take money from other people and thus they will have less money instead of realizing that the function of money is to exchange products and services and that money is a recyclable medium.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perceive that people do not have money due to financial crisis and thus bearing to charge money for my services to others instead of realizing that currently there is only about 13% rate of unemployment in our country which means that 87% people have jobs and thus also money and that I can also sell my services to basically anywhere in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to associate business success and wealth with stressful life instead of realizing that rich people manage up to 50 different companies however they use methods of time and priority management where they delegate their employees and thus have even more time freedom that working alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge in watching movies for many hours per days, thinking that that would relax me and free from the anxiety of my life challenges instead of realizing that watching pictures is dumbing my brain down and turning me into even more lazy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rich people are corrupt and have gathered their money only by criminal activities instead of realizing that everyone's life story is different and that some could be involved in some dirty business, however there are also a lot of hones and supportive ways of making money where a great value is added to society and this world.

I commit myself to read books every morning every evening as suggested my successful people since leaders are readers and reading is very important to develop focus and become more effective in this world.

I commit myself to keep detailed record of all my incomes and outcomes to the last cent and do weekly and monthly stats of my income, outcomes and profit since this is a must for every person who wants to live successful life in the current money system.

I commit myself to associate with wealthy people and get advise about what they do in order to I also become equally successful since if you want to become someone, you have to mimic these people.

Day 25: Relationship breakup self-forgiveness

In the previous two posts of this blog I wrote about my decision to break up with my girlfriend that lived with me for about 4 years. In this post I will take self-responsibility for my decisions in regards to this relationship and correct my behavior patterns in order not to do the same mistakes again.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel hurt and disappointed since my first girlfriend after three years of living together left me instead of realizing that the reason was not me hurting her in any way but her desire to be in relationship where her partner would abuse her as here father abused her on a daily basis.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to initiate any relationship with girls since I did not want to be hurt again and rather waited for the girls to initiate contact with me instead of realizing that rejection is a part of life and that it is best to stay emotionally stable regardless if a girl rejects or accepts me.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge my last girlfriend who made a lot of effort to become my partner for constantly calling me and sending me messages for over a year and then accepted her in spite of initially not liking her very much instead of realizing that person who has issues by accepting NO will also be incapable of equal communication in the long run.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel good when my last girlfriend praised my body details and told me how incredible and beautiful I am instead of realizing that physical obsession is never a good starting point of a relationship and that what makes relationship work is ability of both partners to effectively communicate and understand each other execute what is mutually agreed.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to wait for so long for my last girlfriend to start her process of inner transformation instead of realizing that her reluctance is so strong that she will not start the process unless I break up with her and leave her to face the consequences of her mind patterns on her own.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to see how being in a relationship with I person who thinks that money is the root of all evil and that lot of money automatically corrupts you is influencing me to such extent that even I have started to experience problems with earning money instead of realizing this issue sooner and split with the person with such limiting believes.
   
   
7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of connecting with girls that I like since by comparing my body with movie actors and magazine celebrities I defined my body as less attractive and thus not being worthy of relationship with the girls who I find attractive instead of realizing that what body shape is not what others are attracted by but the confidence and self-esteem that one expresses by non-verbal communication.
   
   
8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to live my life from the state of passive observer and admire achievements of others, believing that I am incapable of achieving high goals due to my physical looks instead of realizing that even people with strong disabilities have been able to do amazing things and thus I am also more than able to achieve much more that I currently perceive to be my limits.
   
   
9. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be paralyzed by the energy of fear and stop in moving forward instead of accepting any challenge in my life as an opportunity to grow and expand by looking deep inside me and pointing out what kind of accepted believe is creating this inner conflict and energy of fear and removing it with assistance of self forgiveness.
   
   
10. I commit myself to open myself to opportunity of meeting a more supportive partner in my life and testing her level of ability and preparedness of becoming my agreement where we would both actively walk our process and support each other as equals.
    
    
11. I commit myself to when and as I see a girl that I like, I breathe and remain here and not allow for her physical characteristics to overwhelm me but engage in the conversation as equals and then by asking questions find out if we she has a thinking patterns compatible with mine to the level that is worth of engaging in a relationship.

Day 20: Expectations self-forgiveness

These are my self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to my thinking patterns from the previous post of this blog.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become totally excited and thrilled for the subjects that I faced in different periods of my life and to fanatically share my believes in regards to the subject, considering others as stupid and less in value if they do not share the same excitement for the subject with me, instead of realizing that perspectives on any subject change based on the perception of observer and awareness.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define a product or service as something more than others and thus creating energy of good feelings instead of understanding that all products and services are just different shapes and have different use.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that something that I hear or read is absolute true purely because the messenger is presented as expert on its field, instead of realizing that any opinion is just a personal view of on individual and is limited by its current state of awareness and is also influenced by the starting point of the statement.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to expect that everyone has to buy the product that I sell instead of realizing that in the moment of my presentation person can either have different interests or priorities or they currently do not have enough money to buy the product.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to want to be praised for the products or services that I offer and thus allowing the driving force of my activities to become the good public image, instead of understanding that any product that I would ever sell is for some people appropriate at that time and for some not and that it is best to engage in sales activities without any desire for attention from others.
   
   
6. I commit myself that when and as I engage in sales activities, I breathe effectively, remain here, explain the benefits of the product, ask questions and overcome objections and understand that the product is not for everybody and thus accepting YES or NO with the same state of inner stability and equality.

Day 15: Money believes self-forgiveness

This are self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to my inherited believes from the previous post of this blog:

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that one must physically suffer and get exhausted in order to earn money in stead of realizing that one can get a lot of money in many different ways, also with not much physical works.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that one can have a lot of money only if one did and illegal activities or deceiving other instead of realizing that one can get rich also by legal and honest activities that improve the quality of other people's lives.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed desire to do things from the starting point of wanting to get attention and praise of others instead of doing what I like and what other people need without allowing myself to feel good if others praise the result of my activities.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to pay attention to my money outcomes and incomes instead of realizing that this is the basic required need if one wants to handle money with responsibility and also get rich.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to hurry and desire to surprise others with my activities without consulting with customers what they really want instead of realizing that others can only be satisfied with me if I fully understand what they want.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become influenced by other people's opinions about me instead of realizing that what others notice and say about me is basically reflection of their limiting and distorted thinking patterns.
   
   
7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of working and collaborating with others,  fearing that I would become overwhelmed instead of realizing that joint effort is important ingredient that multiplies the income and is a must if one wants to get very rich.
   
   
8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that if one has a lot of money it will automatically get corrupt, greedy and nasty towards others instead of realizing that by taking self-responsibility for ones own thoughts and feelings, one is able to successfully direct self towards what is best for all even with unlimited amount of money in possession.
   
   
9. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to get motivated to work only when I did not have enough money and then became lazy when I got enough money to cover my monthly expenses instead of directing myself and working by constantly being energetically stable.
   
   
10. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of braking any single law or rule in the society instead of realizing that rules are only functional in relation to certain states and events and if those states are not present, the rules are not more effective and can be easily disregarded.
    
    
11. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to think that rich people are irresponsible and god money just by chance instead of realizing that one can basically only get the money by managing large project that require extremely big self-discipline and responsibility.
    
    
12. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel small and unimportant in regard to larger scheme of world events instead of realizing that by careful planning, collaboration and accumulation, persistant and focused attention of one single man can make extremely big impact in this world.
    
    
13. I commit myself to read books about how to handle finances and develop habits that will enable me to manage money well, that will prevent me for never ever having too little money and that would enable me to become very rich and thus have power to be very influential in this world.
    
    
14. I commit myself to when and as I feel any positive or negative feeling, I stop and take a deep breath and move myself only based on the principle, removing every single motivation that is based on the energy, since self-control and self-mastering is a key to all great achievements.
    
    
15. I commit myself to develop the skills of working in a group and manage projects effectively in order to be able to earn more money and change the world to become a better place for all much faster.