15 May 2013

Day 45: Motivation research Day two

A fey years ago I experienced like things were moving fast and smoothly. However in last two years I feel like it takes much more time for projects to succeed. Like someone is pushing brakes on the system. People do not respond easily, there is a lot of mistrust, fear, anger, desperation. Or is it just me experiencing the reality this way and thus creating my experiences based on my own image? 

I would like to find out what is the true reality, however this is hard. There is so much false information, lies and deceptions everywhere. Corporations and governments control the media and information flow, they use politics and weapons to enforce law that best suits their self-interest. And if one is to stop all this, a high capacity of information processing is necessary, high self-discipline and awareness, communication skills, managements and organization knowledge, collaboration with other individuals and groups and it looks very challenging. Also money is needed. A lot of money. Money moves things and without money nothing moves. So how to get money?

Incomes and outcomes. Currently I have a lot of fix monthly bills our outcomes. I have to generate a lot of income to create profit. And only the profit is the money that I can then use to move things. However incomes in last few months were basically nothing. So I face a decision. I am not sure how soon and how much income I would be able to generate. Moving to smaller and cheaper apartment seems to be a smart move. Maybe this would also motivate me more. Now in big nice apartment I fell safe and relaxed. Too relaxed. Shall I motivate myself by deliberately lowering my living standars? Is that what I need? An experience that puts me in the position where I do not want to be in order to motivate myself sufficiently to become more active and focused on creating more income and thus also reducing my monthly outcomes? Perhaps.

They say one must squat low in order to jump high. It looks like I do not appreciate enough what I currently have. And I have trouble motivating myself. I am to lazy. It like the story where someone visited a friend and his dog was laying on the porch. While talking to friend, the guy would notice that the dog would grouch from time to time. He asked the friend what with the dog and the friend explained that the dog is laying on a nail. When he asked him why the dog does not move, friend relied that it does not hurt him enough. Maybe I am that dog. Maybe it does not hurt me enough to move. So how much pain and suffering do I need to change, to take action. And why can I not move without pain? This must change.

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