08 May 2013

Day 38: Additional challenges in regards to the new job

This morning I also had a visitor to my office who very resonated with the projects and groups that I am involved with. He was very excited about all the potentials and wanted to know what is the next step. So I gave him some additional materials that he will be able to research. Then also I young boy returned some educational material that I lent to him a couple months ago and he said that the reason for the return delay was due to discovery of cancer at his family. Since he believed in the modern medicine I enlightened him about the lies, deceptions and the corruptions that is especially dominant in the pharmaceutical industry and suggested him to read the Natural Cures book. And the information that shocked me yesterday that our Slovenia country currently holds the world record in the level of corruption based on the research of Ernst & Young. However in spite of the extreme amount of the FaceBook post that criticize the elite who apparently completely robbed out our country, and talks about financial crisis, current level of unemployment is still only 12% and that means that 88% of people have jobs. So this is definitely a stimulating information that would motivate me in being more confident about my sales activities.

In spite of all my effort to clear all the accepted and allowed negative believes about how the world state is, about the lot of money being too much temptation for anyone to handle, it seems that the mental pressure accumulated in the middle of my spine and it gives me not yet painful, however unpleasant feeling that distracts my attention, especially when I go to bed. Today in the afternoon I finished some new promotional material and planned to go out and do some new house visits, however in spite of nice weather, I started to feel a little dizzy. I had to lay down into bed and rest. From time to time I also experience heart arrhythmia if I think about certain things. I guess I worry to much about how things could come out. In most cases I simply focus on my breath and forgive myself the thought and the pulse stabilizes. However today when lying in bed, I felt like the pressure would be to low and my hearth would stop beating. Maybe this is because sometimes I just want to give it all up. I ask myself why do I bother doing all this, is there really no life possible without worries. Can there really be no place on earth where people are nice, the food is in abundance, and all can simply enjoy and express themselves?

Yesterday I watched a documentary titled Slaves of Dubai that exposes terrible working conditions of about 2 million imported workers from India who were promised a good salary, however immediately after arrival to Dubai, their passports were taken, they now have to work in very harsh conditions for low salary and most of them have not been payed for several months. I also watched a few war movies in the past few days that made me think about how stupid we are since we have to fight each other. And today I watched a movie about the Canadian supersonic military jet Arrow that was terminated purely due the egotistic political interests. This movie made me think how big some are able to dream and how great thins are possible to achieve it he pople work together.

I went then out in late evening when it was already dark to run across city park and streets. I wanted to relieve the accumulated tension in my back. I was surprised about the quantity of young visitors in the park and then soon find out why since the music started to become louder and louder. There was some rock music band having a concert and thousands of people occupied the park. However I did not want this to distract me and continued with the running towards the city center.

So it is quite silly in some way observing my mental resistances. I could be very glad for all that I have received in my life. Some have nothing to eat and suffer pain, diseases and war. However some control multibillion projects and employ thousands of people. I am now to decide what I want out of my life. I want more, however I will have to change from within. I think that currently what stopps me from moving forward is my bad feeling about charging others. My believes that one has to work hard and suffer in order to get the money. My new business could bring me good money if I do the work correctly and I am in a way already lazy due to thinking that I will be able to earn a lot of money very easy. It is a moral thing where I ask myself what is fair and what not. Why can some have to suffer for a couple of dollars per day, and some can earn or win millions in no time? Where is justice, where is equality? Is it justifiable that those who do more responsible jobs are to earn more? Are those who have low income really fully responsible for their low income? I there a god who controls everything? Is there a law of karma, the low of attraction or creation? Breathe!

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