2010 - Why took me so long to start writing myself to freedom

I got familiar with the process of Writing myself to freedom that includes self-forgiveness around November 2009, but I was afraid that my writing would not be efficient, since one has to apply self-forgiveness in very specific way in order to have an effect. So when I noticed that the Structural Resonance Alignment Training has been launched, I perceived it to be a kind of detailed study of how to do self-forgiveness in proper way.

So I applied for SRA, became a January 2010 Group 1 student and followed the lessons. However I found out, that SRA is not intended to guide you through all the self-forgiveness that is needed, but it only teaches you a different techniques and you do mind analysis and self-forgiveness just to some example point, and then it is needed to apply this tools to all the points that come up by yourself. So until now, I did self-forgiveness just to the extend that was required in the SRA lessons.

So far I have been applying only the tool of breathing and some vlogging. This had some effect of me becoming more calm and also my skin condition improved. And as announced in my vlog on 4. September 2010, I stopped masturbating and watching porn. Today, after 23 days of stopping, I am still standing, experience no great temptations, and I can say that my head is much more clear, I am less tired and much more able to direct myself. I also try to not sleep more that 6 hours, and this has also contributed to my daily performance.

However I still feel how my mind patterns daily trigger thousands of emotional reactions, that I suppress and are thus manifested as a itchy feeling on my skin around my genital region. This is why I see, that it is crucial to start defusing this emotional triggers by stopping the mind, putting them here through writing and releasing them by applying self-forgiveness. I have tried to stop the mind simply by breathing, but I see, that some patterns have integrated into my body so deeply that I am unable to stop them in the breath. So let the writing begin!
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