30 March 2011

2011 - Walking process alone vs. walking in the group

There are many ways of self-realization in this world. We all experience many things in daily life which assist us at realization how we function and how this world functions. We act and we see the results of our action. The speed of self-realization process depends of how one is dedicated to research the depths of self and world system. Throughout history there have been some people that reached very high level of self-realization and there are also some in the current time period. Each one had different background, unique experiences and environment that enabled him high speed of understanding which action leads to which consequence. But why were there only so little self-realized people, and why were they not able to influence the world in the way to stop the violence and destruction of fellow beings and this planet?

We all know the story of some guy by name Jesus Christ, who brought the suggestion of doing onto other what you would like others to do onto you, of loving your neighbor as thyself, but why is this message still not lived practically in this world? He was not aware of complete design of human mind and what is need to fee yourself from influence of unconscious thoughts, and his message has been used and abused in order for some individuals to gain great wealth and high social position, while totally ignoring the practical living of what Jesus has taught. The whole religious system, with new age spirituality has become nothing but a bunch of beautiful words, nice emotional feelings, expectations of some magical savior and beliefs about perfect life after death. It is basically not supporting the individual to gain self-realization, but offers only promises of enlightenment and ascension, while in facts contributes for individual to become more and more trapped in the mind.

After 10 years of research and experience of world religions and other paths of self-realization, I have not been able to find any group or source of information that would honestly and in detail provide information about why is the world the way it is, how have I become the way I am, and what is the solution for all to live in harmony on this magnificent planet, until one and half year ago, when I met Desteni. It is the collection of information and tools where I have experience the absolute level of honesty and functionality to remove everything that has been eating me from within, and is also contains the solution to fix the world economic system that is driving us towards destruction of living beings and resources. The tools of Desteni have helped me to become more emotional stable and aware of what is really here in every moment of my breath. It also supported me to realize the big picture and how I am equally responsible for everything that is going on in this world. Desteni learned on mistakes of self-realized beings in the past and is making sure to improve the approach in order to guarantee the success.

Ok so you might now say: “Cool, I am happy for you, but I decided to walk my process on my own. The path of self-realization is not important, since eventually we will all get to the finish.” Well, really? All you have is this life, this physical body that will be no more when you die. How do you know with certainty what will happen to you at the time of death? Will you be able to reincarnate and continue with you process of self-realization in your next life? Will you not forget the same way as you did when you were born in this body? So better than guessing is to walk this life with the maximum effect and use the most effective tools. Thus I suggest you to research Desteni and experience the effectiveness of its tools that you will receive throughout the Desteni I Process life-coaching program. And even if you walk your own path and become self-realized, enlightened, what then?

Understand that we are all one and that no one can become self-realized until we are all self-realized. Each of us is a part of existence, and each of us is co-creating this existence. So you will not be able to live here and enjoy yourself until beings will exist that will want to harm you or exploit you. Heaven on earth can be practically manifested only if we support and respect each other equally. So when you become self-realized, you will not be able to bear the view on fellow being who suffer. You will try to help them in order for them also to become self-realized. And this is exactly the reason why Desteni was established. You as individual do not have any significant power to change this world. Only if you connect with people who have the same goal and all walk as one, then there is a chance of success. So of you are serious at changing the world, the best way to do that is to join the group of Destonians, who are people from all over the world who walk as based on the principle of what is best for all, common sense and mathematical equation 1+1=2. Support you self-realization by walking the Desteni I Process and support the peaceful political democratic introduction of Equal Money System that represents the first step of providing dignified life for all living beings on this planet. Join us. Together we can do it!

29 March 2011

2011 - Landmark Education / Forum - a Destonian perspective

In my previous blog I have described how I have been introduced with the information about Landmark Forum, which is a flagship course from Landmark Education global company. While we were waiting for Zeitgeist meeting to start on past Saturday, I noticed one girl at the bar of tea shop and asked her if she is also waiting for the start of the Zeitgeist meeting. She answered that she is preparing herself to give a three hour basic presentation of Landmark Forum to couple of people in the next room. I asked her if she can shortly describe what the course is about and she described it as life coaching program to free yourself from limitations of the mind and to transform and gain control of your life. I told her that I am involved in the course with similar effect and that I would like to know more about Landmark Forum. She offered to give our group a basic presentation in the following days, and I gave her my leaflet with information about Desteni, to check out what Desteni I Process is about and share her perspective about differences between both courses.

Later after Zeitgeist meeting started, one of participants shared that he also passed the Landmark Forum course and that he benefited greatly. I started to read his blog one year ago and firstly had impression that he started blogging as part of Desteni course, but after I commented and shared my perspective about what is emotional energy and the difference between life and energy, he told me to stop commenting, since he writes his blog to express his own opinions and is not interested in Desteni. Now he came to Zeitgeist meeting and was the most influential talker, since he talked all the time and the words were flowing from his mouth fluidly and constantly. He perceived himself as free from the mind, and spoke about how he can go within in the space, where he is able to feel connected with everything, where he can experience oneness.

Yesterday I decided to check the Landmark Forum by myself and found their web site on the internet. I watched the introduction videos and read the description of the course. Video clip of one lecture for example share the story about someone who stumbled upon the group of people who were doing stone work. After he asked some depressed guys what they were doing, they answered: "We are chipping stones". And then he asked some guy who was very cheerful the same question and got the answer: "I am building a cathedral". This was to be an example of how our happiness is not based of what we physically do in this world, but is linked to our ability of seeing the different context of what we are doing. So we are suppose to be able to live happily in every moment simply by changing the definition of what we are doing to fit some acceptable context.

Now one has to understand that there are many ways of becoming successful and happy. Books like The Secret explain some concepts, and the world is full of courses that explain how this world system works and how everyone can earn a lot of money and fulfill its desires by following certain rules. Also the whole new age spiritual movement is based on creating a happy and successful person, together with all religions, gurus, enlightened and ascended masters, angels and love and light message. It is all about building a consciousness where you create yourself a world of bliss and nice feeling as the ultimate goal that one can achieve. The message is that you do not need to care about others, that you are responsible only for yourself and that you only need to enjoy and allow others who suffer enough time for them to eventually come to the same ultimate realization.

However in spite of the cool looks of this types of solutions, they are in fact the ultimate deceptions. None of this paths is able to bring the awareness of how the reality operates and that we are all equally responsible for everything that we accept and allow in every single moment. The mind is a smokescreen where you are able to sell you self-responsibility and receive the energy of good feelings in return. In represent the tool of separation where you are able to live in you separate self-created reality and become the god in your imaginary existence. It gives you the impression of success, while in reality you are destroying your true physical self and this physical world that is the only true and universal reality. This is why in spite of all numerous spiritual teachings and self-empowerment programs, the level of poverty and physical violence is increasing and the whole world is being destroyed with the speed as never before.

I have met a guy recently with son who can in fact see auras. There is much deception about what aura is and most of devices that can read your aura is deception. While spirituality is defining the aura as emanation of life-force energy, is is in fact the emanation of mind-consciousness system. The mind is a trap, and the one with the most intensive aura is in not enlightened and freed, but trapped in the most subtle and invisible jail ever conceived. They have also researched the effect of the Landmark Forum course and concluded that it is the way of programming you in order to stay trapped in the mind for good. You become a better abuser and self-deceiver, receive a big rewards from the world economic system, while at the same time you allow others to have less and less, until they eventually die from hunger.

So I warn you to go away from all kind of self-empowerment programs, that do not care about all the living beings in this world. You will eventually not be able to live with yourself if you allow anyone in existence to have too little, while you have too much. Research the Desteni I Process life coaching program that is the only education in this world that cares about what is best for all. You will find out about actual blueprint of the mind and receive the effective functional tools to discover and remove all the accepted and allowed definitions, believes and ideals that separate us from each other. Desteni is the only organization that came up with the solution to fix also our greedy economic system with suggestion of Equal Money System. So if you are serious about bringing a better world, research the Desteni solutions, stand up for life as one and equal, begin true activism by blogging and vlogging and thus becoming the real change that you have been waiting for.

27 March 2011

2011 - Group of Slovenian people with a kid who can see aura

Yesterday was extremely fascinating day with two very interesting meetings. I departure from my home at 7:30 and at 7:50 picked up a new female friend at Kranj city. We then continued highway to the second largest Slovenian city Maribor, where there was suppose to star a meeting of Zeitgeist Slovenia group at 10:00 at Adam & Eve healing tea shop. One day back I also sent the invitation to all active members of Desteni Slovenia, since most of them live in or near Maribor city. I suggested for us to have the meeting at the same place at 12:00, since they wanted to hear my story about holidays at Desteni farm, but Blaž replied that he would also like to come to Zeitgeist meeting. We arrived a bit early, around 9:40, so I called Blaž if he needs any assistance to find the place. He said that there is no need, and that Vitan will pick him up, and that also Barbara and Ajda will come. So the time was 10:00, there was six of us there and one guy, who wanted to meet the Zeitgeist people for the first time, but no one from Zeitgeist leader came, thus we decided to start a chat.

At about 10:30 three guys from Zeitgeist arrived, and I already knew one of them. His name was Andrej, he is also from Kranj, the student of medicine, and his whole family is also involved in medicine. I introduced him with Desteni one year ago, he also writes a blog, but did not want to align his process with Desteni terminology. Since he was familiar with Desteni approach, he suggested a discussion where we would share our realization to contribute towards some solution for this world. Since there was also some girl in the tea shop, who prepared the presentation of the Landmark Forum education, he explained that he also greatly benefited from this education and that it assisted him to completely free himself from the mind. We discussed his perception, trying to establish if that was the fact, but due different terminology, that was not very easy. So we rather focused of developing the Zeitgeist project and how to include Desteni solutions. One of Zeitgeist members suggested the screening of Zeitgeist movie in the schools as the powerful presentation of world problems, and in the second part, Desteni I Process and Equal Money System would be presented as practical solution to fix those problems.

I had a next meeting at capital city Ljubljana at 16:00, and also Blaž and Barbara wanted to join, so we departure from Maribor at 14:00. In Ljubljana we met a group of new people and they invited us to have a peaceful chat in small gym of local elementary school, since they are having occasional recreation there. They were about 30 to 40 years old, one girl and three guys. I befriended girl Urša on the FaceBook a week ago, based on suggestion from Sunette. I noticed that she had a lot of Destonian friends already, and I became very excited about new Destonian from Slovenia. But when I send her a welcome message, she told me that she is part of the group who follow the Desteni Slovenia group from beginning, but they are walking the process on their own. She told me, that they are having a boy who is able to see aura, and that this is a reference point for them to get a feedback if they are successful in their process.

The oldest guy among them is also a leader and is supporting them occasionally with deliberate anger to shake them, similar to Bernard. The child that can se aura is in fact his son, that is now about 14 years old. He was a gym coach, and after he divorced, the aura of his son cracked and disappeared due to immense shock and thus he became able to see the aura of living beings and also objects. He then started to report his father that we are all robots, so basically he was able to see all the systems. Together they started to research and test what is the meaning of colors in the aura and what aura is. The son did not agree with the new age picture presentation and explanations of the meaning of chakras, positioned vertically and colored from red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and white as the path to ascension. Thus they developed a symbolic horizontal chart of characters of people, each one equal, but with different characteristics or nature, based on the color of their aura.

For example he explained that black aura is typical for the people who suck energy from others like vampires, and that a lot of those are among school teachers, so they come to school basically to drain children from their life energy. The orange color is typical for the women, who want to attract males with their physical appearance, so basically the whores. The green aura is typical for the people who doe not have a clue, what is going on, like a grown up version of children. Blue aura is typical for politicians and company leaders, who exploit others for their own benefit. The red aura is indication of awareness, where you become angry about the corrupt system. The white aura is typical for the ones who meditate and gurus, but this stage is very delicate, since you can get trapped in the mind. The final step is transparent aura or no aura.

They have checked thousands of people in this world, from politicians, gurus, and discovered that many are fakers and that most of religions and groups exist not for benefit of all, but only for personal and financial benefit of the leaders. Few years ago someone forwarded them a YouTube video with Sunette. When the son saw the video, he freaked out and screamed that this girl is dead! When father asked him, he explained that her aura is transparent, the same as the ghosts of dead people who visit him at night. But after his father explained that this girl is still alive, the son said that she is speaking pure truth on the videos. So this made them become interested in Desteni as the only point discovered, worth of trust in this world. And the other guy who does not have any aura is Michael Tsarion and they gave me the DVD of his movie titled The Architects Of Control that reveals the secret mass manipulation of the human mind.

But this meeting was also to give me the feedback. They showed me the printed photos from my FaceBook profile from different time periods. On the videos that I made one year ago, my aura was blue, this means that I was not living the words that I was talking. At the time before my visit to farm Desteni, my aura has been the color of red, and after I returned from the farm, already the half of my aura was missing. This is how they proved themselves that the Desteni tools of self-realization actually have effect, and that visit to the farm was also very beneficial for me. So the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application are the main difference that will able to bring a great change to the masses.

The father however does not use the tool of self-forgiveness, since he is able to correct himself in a breath. This is due his extensive training in sports, where he used the tool of breathing to decrease his pulse. After he watched the Desteni video Self-Forgiveness as life, he immediately start to apply it. So when a point comes up, he skips the self-forgiveness and immediately utilizes self-corrective application. And he does that without the need of writing.

But what shocked the father later was discovering of fact, that his son is lying to him. Currently his son is in puberty and he became interested in girls. Father heard from someone that his son was in certain company in the city, but when the son returned home, and father asked him if he was with specific person, he denied. Since father knew that his son with transparent aura is lying to him, he went ballistic, and his son ran away and changed aura to red, as it should be. The son knew somehow how to remove all the colors of his aura in a kind of mechanic way, so it was not really valid. The son thus now decided to walk the process the way it should be, from the point of his true current realization.

What is interesting is the fact that loosing aura in not in fact the ultimate enlightenment. Aura represents only the conscious level of the mind. Father noticed that even after loosing the aura, he still emotionally reacted in some occasions, thus no aura is not the final thing. After loosing aura, there is the process of removing also the subconscious and unconscious level of the mind. This is why the process takes about 7 to 20 years, as predicted by Desteni. And then we also need to change the world economic system, with the introduction of Equal Money System. A long way is ahead of us, so let as many people as possible join Desteni and benefit from Desteni I Process which is definitely the most effective program for self-realization currently in the whole planet, now cross referenced also with help of boy from Slovenia who can really see the true auras of being and objects.

23 March 2011

2011 - Running out of time for doing all the things that I plan

My experience at Desteni farm while I was staying there was that a day is very long, and I had a lot of time to do many things. Well in fact I was there on holidays, the internet was slow, and I focused on my process and resting. From beginning the days passed slowly, but towards the end, I had perception that days go bye very quickly. And there were a lot of people and animals and a large space to move around.

Now when I returned, I am back in the upper apartment at my father's house, rooms and surrounding area seems so small, I am alone and I have to make decisions, make plans and execute it all by myself. I have here a fast internet, new computer and software, and many things to do. And there is also father who wants me to do designs for his clients occasionally. I constantly do something, a day goes bye so quickly, but I have perception that I have done nothing, that I am not moving anywhere. These are some of many things that I can do:

Daily errands:
- checking and answering new Gmail messages
- checking and answering new FaceBook messages
- checking new Twitter feeds and interesting links
- checking Desteni Slovenia open forum
- checking Desteni open forum
- checking Desteni subscription forum
- checking Desteni private forum
- checking Desteni money forum
- checking Desteni DIP forum
- checking Desteni demons forum
- checking Desteni YouTube channels
- watching, liking, commenting and sharing new Desteni video
- liking Destonian blogs and vlog
- inviting 16 new people to follow my blog
- watching and commenting interesting Destonian blog and vlogs
- writing blogs
- writing backchats
- shooting vlogs
- doing Desteni I Process assignments
- preparing food, eating, washing dishes
- shaving, taking shower
- shitting, pissing
- responding to FaceBook chat request
- commenting on several FaceBook groups
- asking potential people for FaceBook friendship

Occasional errands:
- participating at Desteni chats twice a week
- washing and ironing laundry once a week
- visiting grandmother once a week
- meeting with new people several times a week
- doing photo and design work for my father
- visiting fairs and lectures

Current errands:
- learning how to use new iMac hardware and OS
- learning how to use new Adobe Creative Suite software
- organizing things from moving into father's apartment
- searching for new apartment in Ljubljana
- informing myself how to best run business in Ljubljana
- translating Equal Money Book
- applying for psychology study
- doing extra White Light mind construct
- developing Desteni accessories business
- dating/searching for partner/agreement/wife
- considering establishing my own farm

Lately I gave priority to research new computer and software, especially video editing software, I like very much sharing new Desteni videos and communicating with my FaceBook friend and sharing relevant Desteni links, I make sure to do all my Desteni I Process assignments, I regularly follow Desteni Subscription forum and watch all unlisted videos, I also started to participate in private chats and do some blogs. But I am short of time for producing vlogs and participating on forums. I feel a bit confused and uncertain due to plan of moving to Ljubljana and starting business and additional study there. I have to decide where to move, to how large apartment, how much do I want to pay, will I be living there alone, or will I be able to find some partner to move in together. Every day I meet new people, additional potentials are created and I have to decide about everything all over again. I want to be as effective as possible, do my process, support others and also support myself financially. So if someone has I magic formula, how to slow down the time, please let me know.

21 March 2011

2011 - First week after returning from Desteni farm report

It has been 7 days since I came back from Desteni farm in South Africa, so I decided to share what was going on in past several days.

I arrived to Ljubljana airport exactly to the minute on time. My father awaited me with his wan to pick me up. On the way to home, he asked me why were all bald on the farm and why do horses have some kind of cover on their heads, since he watched all the photos that I have been publishing periodically on my FaceBook profile. I explained him all the reasons of shaving the head as the symbol for world equality and to stop polluting water, and that horse eyes need protection from flies and worms. I was glad that he showed interest in what we at Desteni do, so within following discussion I also explained him the details of Equal Money System and how it will bring dignified life for all living being in this world.

Otherwise it was a very big contrast regarding the weather. From hot Desteni farm, where there was only occasional short showers and 40°C in recent days, it is about 10°C here, total cloudy and misty sky and it rained constantly for four days. It was only on Saturday when the sky cleared and disclosed nearby mountains with white snowy caps. So very refreshing change. Thus after one month of not much recreation, I went yesterday with my friend to a nearby hill, and I lost my condition so much, that my legs hurt quite much. Today is also the first day of calendar spring and the typical flowers like yellow Trumpet Flower is flourishing everywhere.

Before I left Slovenia, I ordered the most powerful and largest iMac and they told me that delivery time will take one month. And I also ordered the upgrade to latest Adobe Creative Suit 5 Master Collection software and Microsoft Office for Mac 2011 Home & Office. So when I returned, all the ordered stuff was already delivered to my father and I spent few days only installing and researching the new hardware and software. Of course I will need to spend many hours before I learn how to master all the new tools and this is a big challenge that awaits me, since I decided to go for the biggest software collection that includes tools for creating vector designs, set long books, retouch photos, edit videos, animations, master sound, create web sites, so practically every product that can be watched and heard.

On Friday evening I went to listen Tomo Križnar, who is our famous world traveller and is fighting for human rights, especially in the area of Sudan and Dar Fur. He shared his latest feedback from that region and at the end I bought his book titled "Oil and water" and a movie DVD "Darfur - War for water". I also talked to him and shared the information about Desteni solutions and I will also call him for a meeting in order to explain him the details about Desteni plans to practically manifest heaven on earth. I will give some more details about projects of Tomo Križnar in one of my following blog post.

On Saturday one of my friends invited me to go to the annual fair called "Altermed" in Celje city, which is dedicated to alternative medicine, new age and healthy lifestyle. It was one and a half hour highway drive with my car. I made connections to many people and gave them the brochure that I made that includes short description of my personal experiences and links to my profiles, blogs, vlogs and Desteni web sites. There are several annual fairs that promote solutions for better life in our country, and they are very cool opportunities to share information. I have been also considering to start participating in these fairs with own stand where Desteni could be officially introduced. Especially after Desteni accessories, like T-shirts and similar products will be created, they could be cold on these fairs and promote Desteni I Process and Equal Money System as the best solutions to fix this world.

But basically my next step is to move to Ljubljana city. I will now start to search for some apartment to rent. The best option would be, if I would find some female that would be willing to be my agreement that already lives in Ljubljana, or if we would move together to new apartment. I would like this person to be involved in Desteni process, but there are not many females from Slovenia currently involved. I have found couple of them and I plan to meet them, so I will see what options are there. I will continue to make my living with business of graphic design and photography, maybe also videography, and in the fall, I plan to start study of psychology that takes three years to finish the basic level.

14 March 2011

2011 - Valentin's impressions after returning from Desteni farm

I have 10 hour flight from Johannesburg airport in South Africa behind me, just finished passenger control procedures, it is 8:00 hours, I am at gate B13 of Frankfurt airport in Germany, expecting my last connecting flight to Ljubljana airport in my home Slovenia country at 10:30. I have decided to use this time to write about my experiences at Desteni farm from 11. February to 13. March 2011.

After meeting Desteni through YouTube vides in October 2009 and starting Structural Resonance Alignment Training with intent to become a facilitator, it was just a matter of time until I come to Desteni farm, since one month of accreditation procedure was firstly necessary to finish the SRAT and receive license to train others after finishing four years of SRA training. Meanwhile many things change, SRAT became part of newly structured Desteni I Process, and from January 2011 there is no longer mandatory visit to the farm.

Since starting the SRAT, I didn't know exactly when my visit to Desteni farm will take place. I decided to change my professional services from graphic design and photography to counseling and therapeutic services in January 2010 and the income started decreasing in June 2010 due to start of  economic crisis in our country. In order to cover my debts, I decided to sell my apartment and move to Ljubljana capital city, where I expect to earn more money, start study in psychology and support development of equality system more effectively. So after I sold my apartment in January 2011, I had enough of money to afford flight to South Africa.

Economy class airplane ticket from Slovenia costs 1.100,00 € in both sides and you have three connecting flights. Firstly from Ljubljana to Frankfurt that takes about 1 hour, then from Frankfurt to Johannesburg that takes 10 hours and finally the last flight from Johannesburg to Pietermaritzburg that takes 1 hour. On every airport you usually wait for about 4-5 hours to the next flight. In the price of airline ticket there are two peaces of luggage included. The big suitcase that is transported separately must not exceed weight of 20 kilograms, and the hand luggage that you may take on the airplane must not exceed 8 kilos. Theres are also security limitation that do not allow more than 100 ml of fluid in the hand baggage, any sharp and explosive objects, drugs and similar stuff.

When I had to decide what to pack for the travel, I took all my photography equipment that included SRL camera body, two lenses, one tripod and one monopod, notebook computer and additional accessories, together with clothes for hot and cold weather. So I packed only the most necessary stuff and hoped that the weight would not exceed the limitations. However when I came to Ljubljana airport, they discovered that my big suitcase weighted 30 kilos, that's 10 kilos overweight. So I had to pay 20,00 € for every excessive kilogram that summed 200,00 €. At return I tried to fill hand bag with maximum weight, so I had only 7 kilos of excessive weight. At Pietermaritzburg airport they charged me 20,00 € to Johannesburg and at Lufthansa in Johannesburg they said that standard price for extra weight is actually 40,00 € per kilo and that in Ljubljana they undercharged me. So for return, I had to pay all together 300,00 € for excessive weight. Total cost for air travel has thus summed to 1.600,00 €.

The price of Desteni holidays includes all the food on the farm. And if you go out of the farm, you have to pay for all the food and other stuff by yourself. So you require also some pocket money in South African Rands for your holidays on Desteni farm. I did not expect any travels outside Desteni farm, so I was nicely surprised when I had an opportunity to go with Bernard and other people at farm to several excursions to the sea beach, mountains and the river. Bernard covered all the cost of those excursions, but not every visitor to the farm should expect this, since Bernard decides how to treat each visitor, depending on how the visitor behaves.

One should understand, that Desteni farm is not a common holiday resort, and you are allowed to be there only if you are capable and willing of changing yourself. People there, especially Bernard and Sunette give each one powerful support in order to speed up the process of self-realization. For many years people at Desteni farm were giving free support to others. That means that they have actually payed for all the costs of support. It was expected that this support would be appreciated and that in terms of 'you receive what you give', others will start to donate and finically support efforts of Desteni to practically manifest heaven on earth. But since that did not happen due to extensive pre-programming of humans and fear of survival, Desteni had to pick other, commercial way of supporting itself. So it was not hard for me to pay for Desteni holidays due my deep appreciation of everything they had done so far and are still doing with immense dedication.

My largest discomfort when planning visit to Desteni farm were the dogs. I have had a dog when I was young, but for the last 10 years, I have been living in a very nice and teddy apartment, without any pets. I did not like dogs since they droll, roll in dust and everywhere, so I disliked the smell of their fur and hair falling out everywhere. They also like to jump on you and make you clothes dirty or even bite and tear it apart. I like the cats much more than dogs since they are much more clean. So my big concern was how to handle all the dogs in the farm, since they are big and many. There are 17 dogs and 15 cats on the farm. When I arrived there, I was introduced with every dog one after another. Soon I became used to their behavior and I stopped to bother about my clothes being dirty due to them jumping on me occasionally. They quickly became your friends if you throw them some ball. Fetching tennis balls and jumping into the pool is their main entertainment. You just need to be careful that you do not swim under the water, since they jump onto you since they think that you are drowning and they want to rescue you.

There are also 10 horses on the farm. Animals are on the farm as the point of stability, they support you at grounding and change the focus from working on computers. Almost each one on the farm takes after one of horses. There are two main events that take place every day in regards to horses. The first one is at 5:00 where horse stables ares cleaned from horse shit and piss, dirty hay transported to compost pile, water bucket emptied, fly masks put on horses head, and horses escorted to the pasture. The other event takes place at about 17:00, where horse stables are prepared, filled with fresh hay, buckets filled with fresh water, horses escorted from the pasture into stables, fly masks removed, horses checked for flees and bugs, temperature measured, and legs cleaned. During the day and night, horses are additionally checked if everything is ok. I also assisted at cleaning the stables for several times, but then I focused more on receiving enough sleep, as also Bernard suggested, since I started to experience reactions, related to my process and given support.

During my stay on the farm, I experienced how people here need to work with very limited options of communication, since there is only GPRS internet speed, and you have to use USB modem stick that connect you via mobile phone signal. So it takes several seconds or even minutes to open single web page. There is also satellite connection, but it is used only at urgent occasions due to very expensive online time. So in order for all Desteni videos to be uploaded, almost every day, two or three people go with the car about half un hour away to the flat in the Pietermaritzburg city, where there is faster internet connection. Joining the visits to the flat and experiencing the use of USB internet stick made me appreciate the immense effort that people on the farm contribute each day to bring the change in this world.

From all living beings on the farm, the one that impressed me the most is one cat, white and black color, quite slim, that is unbelievably expressive. Some cats have certain personality that I could describe with words like 'scared', 'greedy', 'lazy', 'exhibitionistic', 'defensive', but for this one I could easily use words like 'self-directive', 'unpredictable', 'live' or even 'enlightened'. It came also to my room through the windows and spent several nights with me. It is the only cat on the farm who allows to be held in the arms, when stroked, it does not becomes possessed with the nice feeling of touch and wanting more, like other cats, but accepts the touch, and remains itself. It constantly researches everything and everyone, does not posses any anger, spitefulness, does not harm anyone. It jumps and climbs the roofs, lyes in the gutter, is not afraid of dust or spider nets, even the movement of his tail is so unique, that I have never seen anything like that. Bottom line, it lives here, is full present, never scared, and takes everyone into consideration, has no desires and addictions and thus the perfect example of full expression of life as one and equal.

The most influential human living beings on the farm were of course Bernard and Sunette, especially Bernard, since I hardy spoken to Sunette. Bernard has pushed me extensively in realizing what I have accepted, allowed and became and that this is not acceptable. Naturally, I perceive myself as quite nice and cool guy, but from the perspective of equality of all living beings in existence, I am very far from being perfect. On subconscious and unconscious level I know that, and I have been for the last 10 years extensively seeking the ways how to break the self-illusion and clear all the bullshit. The way how Bernard supported me was not pleasant at all but it was just what I needed and I am thankful for that. It was a powerful shock that challenged my ego and released the suppressed accumulated energy of fear. This is also why I experienced vertigo and nausea. And all living being will need to face themselves in the similar way. The process is compounding, the accumulated consequences of past actions will take their toll, people will experience sudden energy release, some maybe even physical damage or death. The tolerance for abuse in this world is slowly decreasing down to zero. Every thought, feeling and action will result in immediate consequence. And this is the only way to solve this mess in our existence. The heaven or earth is being born. And nothing will be ever be the same. Gladly.

10 March 2011

2011 - Dream about innocence, unconscious mind and self-responsibility

I had a dream tonight, about 5am, a night mare I can say, where I have been fighting the concept of innocence, conscious and unconscious mind and self-responsibility. I remember Sunette to be in the dream, and also Bernard. While I was lying on my bad and having this dream, I noticed how a vertigo started to emerge in my head and then I experienced a great urge to go to toilet. Despite my head spinning a bit, I managed to reach the toilet where I took a shit and piss. I did not experience any urge to vomit as usual when I experience vertigo. When I returned to my room, I drank some water. Then I went to bed and the temperature of my body increased and I started to sweat heavily. Again I experienced a great urge to take a shit, even greater than before, so I ran to toilet and a lot of shit came out of me and I was surprised that I still had so much shit in me. While taking a shit, this time a strong nausea also appeared, and I experienced immediate strong urge to vomit. So I immediately turned over, without having time to wipe my shitty ass, and emptied my stomach. It was mostly water that I drank before, but anyway. After that I felt pretty relieved and I went back to bed while still experiencing vertigo. Slowly the temperature of my body dropped and my head stabilized. Then I had a dream with some girl on the farm. We were in the mountains, where there were some caves with crystal clear water and very small, but deep lakes, and we were jumping in the water with a small dog and were diving naked and I observed the water surface from deep below the water. I slept till about 8am and then took a shower, since my head became stable enough to walk. While returning to my room I met Bernard and then I explained him the concept of my dream in the kitchen. He and Sunette commented on my experience and Bernard suggested me to write the dream and correct it in terms of taking self-responsibility, as he has done the same many times in regards to his dreams. Now to details of first and main dream.

Within dream I faced the memories where Bernard spoke with me, a few times with very strong energy, and introduced me to the perspective of myself that was mind-blowing. The first thing was that I was not allowed to us the lack of memory as excuse for what I have done in the past. And that included my past lives also on other planets. Then there were memories of points where Bernard, Sunette and other handled the physical pain and interpretations of the system that cause that pain. Observing these events made me think that there are dimensions of reality that I am unable to see, however they are suppose to be the manifestations of my subconscious and unconscious creation. So in the dream, I fought with these objectives where I was to take responsibility for something that I can not understand and see consciously. My justification was that I may be held responsible only for actions that are manifestations of my conscious mind, and not subconscious and unconscious. I tried to project blame towards Bernard ad Sunette, since I was not able to comprehend and have the same experience and understanding as they have. I was to be left alone and not charged with the crimes that I did not commit consciously.

But the fact is, that I was explained how mind works and that I am in every moment directed by thoughts that are automatically produced by my mind, which is my own creation due to long-lasting allowed and accepted accumulation of information and definitions. In time I have created this energetic entity of personality that has started to suppress me to the level where I almost completely diminished. Even though mind-consciousness system has been constructed in very subtle and deceptive way, it is still my responsibility for every moment when I participated in it. It was me who allowed to follow the thoughts and thus making them alive with my energy of attention. And since I was explained how I am in fact responsible for creating my ego personality, I can no longer be innocent. Thus I am no longer allowed to have the backchat without consequences. I need to stop any movement of the mind, breathe effectively and be here in the physical. Any projections of the past memories or thinking about the future without me actually directing the thoughts is not acceptable. However this is hard to be done due to my ego personality becoming so strong and infused with my physical, that I experience great unconscious physical fear that manifests as vertigo, heat, nausea and vomiting. However there is no other way to survive but to push myself through all of this, breathe through all uncomfortable physical experiences until I eventually birth myself as life as one and equal with all from the physical. I can not exist in this reality without becoming one with it and direct myself towards what is best for all living beings that are part of this reality. I can no longer exist as separate entity, only as observer, protecting only my self-interest and not giving a damn for others. The illusion of my individual mind-reality has to burst and be destroyed once and for all. It was the concept that could not stand the test of time in the first place. Existence can only be if all parts are aware of the full consequence of their actions, and direct themselves towards full support of all other parts of existence. Thus I as one part of existence need to take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling, emotion, voice or physical action, and support every single being as myself or I must no longer exist. No one that has any kind of intention to harm others will not be allowed to exist. So, this life is everyone's last opportunity to correct itself or to end its existence at physical death.

Self-forgiveness statements:
  1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of envy towards Bernard, Sunette and other for possessing ability to experience, see and understand the systems and dimensions, instead of realizing that these abilities come with great responsibility that I can not even imagine, and that possessing certain abilities has nothing to do with self-realization, and is not the requirement or indicator of self-realization, since it is about all living being in this existence to self-realize together, as equal and one.

  2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel pity for myself due to experiencing vertigo, instead of realizing that this is the consequence of my past participation in the mind and that I need to handle it as release of all energy that I have compounded through the time.

  3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable when someone would ignore me due to expectation of everyone on the farm to treat me as one and equal, instead of stopping my desire to be noticed, understanding that how others react has nothing to do with me, and that it is my responsibility to be stable within, regardless where I am and who is in my presence.

  4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed for other to see me how I vomit, have vertigo and similar conditions due to my desire of being perfect and wanting to present myself to others as perfect, instead of realizing that I am far from perfection, that I am separated from all life extensively, and that I will need to walk a long path and experience all sort of accumulated consequence in order to actually become self-realized.

  5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others for not being perfect, constantly observing everyone and noticing any mistake, instead of realizing that judging others is in fact self-judgement, and that I need to accept others as one and understand that we are all in the same process, and that it will take a lot of time for everyone to gain perfection in terms of self-expression as one and equal with every living being.

  6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comprehend the thinking in term of voices in my head to be equally valid as speaking, instead of realizing that allowing and accepting any undirected voice in my head is the result of separation and will result only in abuse, thus it must be stopped immediately.

  7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to be special, caring only about my own self-realization and ignoring others, instead of realizing that self-realization is in fact the realization that we are all one and equal, all interconnected and interdependent and that self-realization can only be achieved if we all support each other in realizing this fact.

  8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good if someone else gets hurt and experiences pain and interpreting this as their deserved punishment, instead of realizing that many of pain that other experience is the result of my creation and thus I am responsible for it, so I need to help others equally as myself in order to sort out this shit that I have allowed and accepted, otherwise it will turn back to me sooner or later.

  9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others, instead of realizing the fear of others is actually fear of myself due to accepted and allowed abuse in this world and not taking self-responsibility for doing anything practical to assist in solving the problems that all living being experience in this moment.

  10. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to speak out loud and expressing myself vocally due to lack of my self-esteem, instead of realizing that communicating vocally as physical is necessary and only valid way of communication in order to fully express my every single perspective and not using secret mind, as the mind is the place of deception and abuse, thus every single thought has to be spoken out loud for everyone to hear and not be afraid of any more abuse from my side.

  11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am pretty much enlightened, instead of realizing that I am full of fear of others, constantly fearing to be hurt or to loose my money and property, thus in my secret mind I attack, abuse and destroy others as first in order not to give them any chance to harm me in any way.

  12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am totally cool and ok, intend of realizing that I am a very nasty and deceptive fucker, who use intelligence and knowledge to protect self-interest and leave others in deep shit.

  13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of hate towards myself for being the nastiest fucker, intend of realizing that I have to accept myself firstly the way I am, and then immediately utilize the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to remove all the bullshit that I have accepted and allowed in my life.

  14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that everyone is self-responsible for current life experience, and taking care only for my satisfaction, instead of realizing that this perception is a White Light deception that creates illusion of everyone being separated and without any influence and need for responsibility towards others, but in fact we are all interconnected and we all influence each other thus we all are equal responsible for current situation in the word.

  15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek approval of others and fearing judgement of others due to lack of uncertainty, instead of realizing that I others can not baby-sit me for ever, and that I need to stand up and take self-responsibility by utilizing common sense, basic equality equation and principle that is "1+1=2" and "What is best for all".

  16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for others to tell me what to do, instead of realizing that there is enough shit in the world that need to be cleared, thus I need to stand up for all life and direct myself in every moment towards making this world a better place.

  17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy and the feeling of tiredness, since tiredness comes from participation in the mind and perception of separation, instead of realizing that by breathing effectively and being aware of all fuckness that currently exists in the world, I am able to motivate myself towards actively participating in co-creating heaven on earth.

  18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself that I do not do enough to bring a change in this word, instead of realizing that the process will need a lot of time and that firstly I need to take care of myself and become a stable point, and then only will I be able to move faster and more effectively.
Self-corrective application:
  1. When I notice that someone has some abilities, different from mine, I do not allow myself to compare myself with others, I breathe and remain here, since we have all different appearances and expressions, but are all the same as life.

  2. When I experience any physical reaction, I understand that in that moment I can do nothing but to remain calm and breathe through, since it is all just a matter of time until it will go away.

  3. When I meet other people, I do not expect from them to react in any particular way. I accept any reaction as their own creation and responsibility. I breathe and remain calm and do not allow for any emotion, word or act of others to influence me in any way whatsoever.

  4. When I see people in trouble and distress, I consider them as one and equal and assist and help them to overcome their problems, without allowing any energetic movements before, during and after assistance.

  5. When I notice my mind move, I immediately stop my participation in my mind. I breathe and focus on what is physically here, since the physical is the only valid reality. If the voices in my head are persistent, I assist myself with writhing, do mind construct, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

  6. When I communicate with other people, I make sure that my mind does not move, and then I push myself to speak directly and clearly as me as the physical.

  7. When I feel tired I consider other people in the world who live in scarcity, hunger and war and push myself to be active in birthing myself as the physical and supporting equality system that will enable dignified life for all living beings in this world.

  8. When I don't know what to do, I apply mathematical equation 1+1=2, common sense, principle of what is best for all, and ask the members of equality group to establish which way to move myself.

  9. When I want to hurry and become impatient, I slow myself down, breathe, remain here and support myself to firstly be a stable point, and then only act towards making this world a better place.