The prominent point in my life is being restless, inpatient, doing things in a hurry, walking and talking fast and signing documents with ineligible scribble. I see there is so much things to do in my limited life time, and there are also monthly expenses that I need to cover so I have to also do many things to earn money. I want to do many things, express myself, enjoy life but I constantly estimate if or how much certain activity will bring me money. Thus I want to fully make use of available time to do as many things possible.
I give impression to others that I am a calm, peaceful guy, however there is fire within me that burns and wants to move fast. It is these mind patterns, accepted and allowed believes of perfection that make me restless inside. I notice that when I observe things, read books, watch movies and talk to other people, many subtle instant energies of anger are produced inside me that I feel as irritation on my skin. I feel it even now when I am writing this. And this is certainly not something that I want to experience in the future.
Within my desire to help and assist other people in also becoming a more stable and responsible human beings, I have noticed, that I am sometimes not very successful due to my impatience. I want them to realize the point quick and I do not make enough effort to assist them in a proper way. I wonder if it is worth of investing my time in explaining or is it best to leave them alone in order to other life experiences to give them proper lessons. I am asking myself how extensive should my support be in order not to become too occupied with assisting people and thus running out of time for properly supporting myself.
I learned recently how importnat is to write, especially in handwriting since this helps in exposing your secret mind and facing all your thoughts that run in our minds fast, too fast for understanding what is their role in our lives. What is also important is to live here practically in this system which means being careful of how you handle money. Until now I was not following very much my money flow, meaning income and outcome. When I had money, I would spend it, when I would not have it, I would do something to earn it. My application was not very contant and I was occasionally surprised when I did not have enough money to cover my expenses.
Next time I talk to people, I listen to them as one and equal and do not allow any emotions of anger. I note carefully every single income and outcome in my personal and professional life so am 100% on track about how money flows in and out. When I notice some energetic reaction within me, I stop, breathe and forgive all the points of polarity with writing or speaking our self-forgiveness out loud.
14 April 2012
07 April 2012
2012 Spirituality Under a Microscope - Sexual Exploitive Healers
In this blog post a part of Desteni campaign where we expose all sorts of spiritual and new age deceptions and abuse. From within 15 years of my spiritual research I am going to focus here on one experience where a Reiki healer tried to exploit me sexually.
Around year 2000 I noticed some rush on my skin. I went to my personal doctor and she prescribed me some ointment. After applying this medicine on the skin for several months nothing changed, so I started to research alternative medicine. The first book that I found was about Reiki energetic healing. From what I found in the book this healing technique was working miracles, so I decided to give it a try. After I finished reading the book, I asked in the public library if they knew any Reiki healer around. They told me that someone was doing this way of healing but they do not know if he is doing it anymore, but they gave me his contacts anyway in order for me to check it out.
I called this guy on the telephone and it was a man around 50 years old. He told me that he is still giving Reiki so we made an appointment at his place. I went there the next day and we invited me in his living room. After me describing him my problems and asking him if Reiki would help, he said that it definitely will and that it is worth a try. I asked him how to proceed and he told me to lie down on his sofa on the back. I gave him all my trust and he started to lay his hands on my body in order for Reiki energy to flow from his hands into my body and heal the problem. After few minutes he told me, that Reiki energy would flow much more easily if I am naked and he asked me if would be comfortable being naked. I said that I am used to take a sun bath at the sea naked and that I am not ashamed if somebody sees me naked.
Thus I removed all my clothes and lied back down on the sofa. I closed my eyes and allowed him to continue with laying his hands all over my body. Since the rush on my skin was around genital region, he asked me if he may lie down his hands on the rush. I allowed and he proceed. Soon he started to lie his hands also on my penis and he explained to me that it is fully ok if I get aroused which I soon did. Then I started to feel some unusual feeling on my penis. With my eyes closed I figured out that my penis was in his mouth so I told him: "Hey, this is not a Reiki healing anymore!" I opened my eyes, he approached my head and asked me if he may kiss me. I refused and told him that I am not interested in any gay sexual activities.
I put my clothes back on and then we had a talk. He admitted that he is using Reiki healing for the purpose of finding out gay sexual partners and he asked me for understanding and forgiveness and if I can keep this event for myself. I was a bit shocked and disappointed since I never thought of something like this could ever happen to me and I was also ashamed if others would find out what happened to me. However I promised him that I will not expose his identity in regards to this event to anyone. In next years some other female friends also shared with me how other healers tried to sexually exploit them so it seems that this kind of abuse is quite a frequent event.
Besides Reiki I tried out also other healers with different techniques, from Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, Natural Oil therapy, Taijiquan, Tantra, Meditation, Vegetarianism, Angelic healing and all have promised me quite fast definite removal of my health problems, but none had any significant effect. I found out that the cause for my problems are rooted deep into my unconscious mind patterns and that only with patient and dedicated self-honesty, I would be able to become aware and forgive myself all the points of separation and polarity that I accepted and allowed in my life. True healing starts with self-responsibility and equality. There is no fast escapes so let us all start now in order to get this done as soon as possible.
Around year 2000 I noticed some rush on my skin. I went to my personal doctor and she prescribed me some ointment. After applying this medicine on the skin for several months nothing changed, so I started to research alternative medicine. The first book that I found was about Reiki energetic healing. From what I found in the book this healing technique was working miracles, so I decided to give it a try. After I finished reading the book, I asked in the public library if they knew any Reiki healer around. They told me that someone was doing this way of healing but they do not know if he is doing it anymore, but they gave me his contacts anyway in order for me to check it out.
I called this guy on the telephone and it was a man around 50 years old. He told me that he is still giving Reiki so we made an appointment at his place. I went there the next day and we invited me in his living room. After me describing him my problems and asking him if Reiki would help, he said that it definitely will and that it is worth a try. I asked him how to proceed and he told me to lie down on his sofa on the back. I gave him all my trust and he started to lay his hands on my body in order for Reiki energy to flow from his hands into my body and heal the problem. After few minutes he told me, that Reiki energy would flow much more easily if I am naked and he asked me if would be comfortable being naked. I said that I am used to take a sun bath at the sea naked and that I am not ashamed if somebody sees me naked.
Thus I removed all my clothes and lied back down on the sofa. I closed my eyes and allowed him to continue with laying his hands all over my body. Since the rush on my skin was around genital region, he asked me if he may lie down his hands on the rush. I allowed and he proceed. Soon he started to lie his hands also on my penis and he explained to me that it is fully ok if I get aroused which I soon did. Then I started to feel some unusual feeling on my penis. With my eyes closed I figured out that my penis was in his mouth so I told him: "Hey, this is not a Reiki healing anymore!" I opened my eyes, he approached my head and asked me if he may kiss me. I refused and told him that I am not interested in any gay sexual activities.
I put my clothes back on and then we had a talk. He admitted that he is using Reiki healing for the purpose of finding out gay sexual partners and he asked me for understanding and forgiveness and if I can keep this event for myself. I was a bit shocked and disappointed since I never thought of something like this could ever happen to me and I was also ashamed if others would find out what happened to me. However I promised him that I will not expose his identity in regards to this event to anyone. In next years some other female friends also shared with me how other healers tried to sexually exploit them so it seems that this kind of abuse is quite a frequent event.
Besides Reiki I tried out also other healers with different techniques, from Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, Natural Oil therapy, Taijiquan, Tantra, Meditation, Vegetarianism, Angelic healing and all have promised me quite fast definite removal of my health problems, but none had any significant effect. I found out that the cause for my problems are rooted deep into my unconscious mind patterns and that only with patient and dedicated self-honesty, I would be able to become aware and forgive myself all the points of separation and polarity that I accepted and allowed in my life. True healing starts with self-responsibility and equality. There is no fast escapes so let us all start now in order to get this done as soon as possible.
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