30 November 2025

Day 217: Deep dive into my current options and choices

The pain in my left elbow still persists and is creating an obsticle while I am performing physical activities and even when I am only resting. I asked a friend that is skilled with muscle testing for assistance. The first word that tested was curiosity and the second was loathing which is a feeling of intense dislike. Recently I also noticed a recessed gums of my teeth that, according to the book Teeth Don't Lie, signifies a need for control. And letaly the gums recessded on my upper 3s or the canines which represent our willpower.

If I look at what curiosity could related in terms of events several months ago when this kind of elbow pain emerged, I could say that I have been wondering if my decision to become a professional climbing arborist was the best use of my potentials. I have been curious what my life would be and how I would impact society if I would decide for another path, like continue to work as a life coach or a psychotherapist or if I would engage in developing software solutions, maybe even AI agents, that would assist people at purifying and expanding vocabulary. Consequently maybe I could be able to assist more people to impove their lives and decrease conflicts in society, possibly even stop all wars and scarcity.

However if I look at my past activities in areas of improving situation in this world, I noticed that I am limited by my inhereted abilities of my mind-consciousness system. My long-term memory is not realiable, I lack the personality to be the main project leader, and listening to problems of other takes a mental toll on me. Arboriculture anables me to work phsycally with my hands and climb trees witch grounds me and takes me out of my mind. But during my work I equally interract with other people that sometimes leads to missunderstandings, different points of views and even resentment. So whatever I do, whatever profession or project I decide to, eventually I am faced with the limitations of the human mind and senses.

The result are of course umpleasant however I wonder which of my responses would be the best. While my usual response is to act using common sense and clear mind, using world of reason of logic, I see how many others struggle with such way of responding. They treat me as someone odd that does not fit well to some groups of people, including arborists and tree climbers which I mostly younger ganeration of males. They do not tend to be very phylosophical and prefer to cope with life in other ways, including using drugs and alcohol. I was recently advises instead of trying to make them aligned with me, I should rather make the effort to align myself with them.

Generally I am very annoyed with the fact how much time and efford is needed to invest in becoming aware of the points using writing and how just using thinking in the mind does not fix the core issues. I wonder what could be other options for keeping me in constant state of harmony and changing things immediately instead pain and other changes of my physical body to be the indicator that I am out of alignment. But I guess this is the challange of life and rules of the incarnation game that have to be sufficient obsitcle in order to at the end feel satisfaction when overcoming them.