2011 - Bought new photo equipment, met new interesting people

Yesterday morning I have been busy packing and moving out of my apartment and I managed to make two rides with my car, fully filled with the stuff. In the afternoon I went to Kranj city where I met with the real estate agent, and we went to the public notary to authenticate the selling contract for my apartment. I then visited Kompas tourist agency since the visa application form that I have found on the web was not the correct version. So I had to write down all the information again in a just slightly different form that was five pages long, and then they faxed it to the South African Embassy in Vienna.

Then I continued my ride to our capital city Ljubljana, where I planned to purchase photo equipment. I was there last time two months ago when I assisted my neighbor to pick the proper camera for his personal use, and he also rented me his equipment a few times afterwards for my professional use. But since I am going to South Africa and then move to new apartment in Ljubljana, I will be no longer able to rent his equipment from him anymore due to long distances. So this time it was my turn to buy some entry-level camera for my basic needs. While driving there and back I was speaking self-forgiveness out loud whenever I noticed any movement of my mind, which assisted me to be fully present in my car and focus on the traffic.

I have been using Nikon brand professional equipment until I sold it two years ago. When I have been picking the camera for my friend, we decided to go for a middle price-range Canon camera that was able to also take full HD movies. But one month ago a new model of Nikon SLR camera was released that also enables to shoot in full HD, so I tested it and compared it with the Canon model. It was smaller and cheaper than Canon, with great ergonomics, so I decided to go with Nikon. I bought a set with a body and two zoom lenses that cover from 18 to 300 mm range, the most powerful external Nikon flash, a monopod, one backpack, one beltpack and some other small accessories. This will cover my needs to make some photos in Africa and also to execute professional photography and video projects.

While driving back home, I stopped again in Kranj, where I was invited to participate in discussion with group of people who also want to improve this world. This time I was only in role of listener and observer, and I expect the next time to have the opportunity to introduce them with the Desteni solutions. The place was very cold and the air was filled with cigaret and marijuana smoke, so it was not very enjoyable for me. But since I was not there for my personal pleasure, I endured in expectation with future results in connecting people that would like to make this world a better place.

When I arrived home, I checked my email and FaceBook and started to reply to messages. When I got to the message where someone was asking me about how can one be sure if everything that Desteni is saying is nothing but the truth, I experienced like someone would push me swiftly in my head from left side and moved me right for a few centimeters and this resulted in immediate strong vertigo. Up to this time, the vertigo appeared more gradually, but this time was like a immediate strong hit. I lied down on the sofa and started to rest in order for vertigo to go away as usual. Slowly I started to feel very sick in the stomach and I also experienced pressure and gas in my intestines. I considered this also to be a result of daily stress and very quickly eating tho sandwiches that I bought on the gas station, that were heated in the microwave and eaten fast on the parking spot before I went to the group discussion. So I decided to go on a toilet and empty my stomach and intestines by vomiting and taking a shit. A then went to bed, since it was already very late.

1. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to observe and admire the looks of some girl and wanting to be her boyfriend and having sex with her, instead of realizing the attraction to someones looks is resonantly triggered by the mind, and is based on the programming of the sex system that locks and enslaves you in relationship and distracts you from grasping and taking the full responsibility for the whole reality in this world.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel ashamed when having vertigo and writing about it in my blog, since I want to be perfect and flawless Destonian and by my example represent the effectiveness of Desteni tools, instead of realizing that Desteni as organization has nothing to do with me personally, that only I am responsible for myself, that I can not control my physical body, and that I need to trust my body to do whatever it decides it is necessary in order to remove all the toxins and become stable again.

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2011 - Continuing with moving out, spreading the message of Desteni

Today I have been busy packing my stuff in order to move out of my apartment, and I have been also very active in communicating with a lot of new friends on the FaceBook. Many have found the new Desteni videos that I promptly post on by FaceBook wall every day very inspiring, so I sent them additional information and links to Desteni web sites and YouTube channels. Of course there were also some who wanted to hold onto their own opinions, so we ended the chat very quickly.

I am noticing improved emotional stability, and this is probably the result of extensively speaking self-forgiveness sentences out loud yesterday. I have been able to write long explanation messages to friends who wanted to know more about Desteni with a lot of patience. And I have learned that commenting to the love and light bullshit posts of some friends is very counterproductive. The people simply do not like others to disturb their illusion of good feelings. So I am sticking to posting the Desteni stuff only on my wall and other Desteni group walls and communicate only with those who will like the videos, vlogs and blogs.
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2011 - Curing cancer effectively with sodium bicarbonate and iodine

Today I have watched a two hour footage of lecture of Primož Verbič who is the president of SVOOD - Slovenian Society for Freedom of Choice. He had a speech in the Youth Cultural Center in Škofja Loka, where I am also to have a speech about my experiences with Desteni on 9. February 2011. He proved that vaccination is not only ineffective and that can also cause death, thus the doctors who enforce vaccination should be charged of murder.

Then I stumbled upon one video that some of my friend on FaceBook shared a YouTube video with Croatian subtitles on his wall and it held an information about Italian medical doctor Tullio Simoncini, who has been researching cancer for many years. In the footage of his lecture he claimed that cancer is the result of human body defense when Candida fungus starts to spread due to disrupted body acidity. He proved that cancer can be cured effectively simply if it gets in touch with sodium bicarbonate. And the skin cancer can be fully cured just with the iodine solution. All the information in shared in many languages, including Slovenian, on his web site > http://www.curenaturalicancro.com

Since the mother of my friend, who lives in the same building, is working on the Slovenian Oncology Hospital, I called her and shared the interesting information with her. Not long after I started to share her this information, she stopped me and said that she does not believe the information on the internet and that she trusts her colleagues that collect the most advanced knowledge on the many top world medical conferences. She did not bother to check the information for herself, and reacted simply out of ego end self-interest. This response of hers did not come as a great surprise, since I already shared her some useful information once and she proved that she does not give a fuck about patients, as long as she gets her big monthly paycheck. I gave her another try, but she exposed herself again as totally ignorant and irresponsible person.

As the lecture about vaccination and treating cancer exposed, there is a great resistance from the medical corporations, they make a great effort to discredit the free-thinking scientist, send annoying journalist and ridicule the discoveries in the media. Of course, simply because the new methods are not lucrative, but very cheap or free, so corporations and medical industry can not profit from patients anymore. And the doctors who spent a huge amount of money to get their medical diploma are not able to charge for their precious advices anymore. The whole medicine is corrupt, and it is the current money system that is holding everyone in the position of self-interest and greed. Thus this problem can not be fixed with small corrections, it will take a whole new system with the different values in order for all to break free from this slavery of banking terrorism. We need the Equal Money System that will support all life as one and equal and bring heaven on earth in the effective and practical way.
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2011 - Message to the girl who is madly in love with me and the vertigo

Herewith I am going to expose my thoughts related to the girl who came to visit me all the way from other side of our country and stayed here for period of five days in order to also help me with packing and moving out from my apartment that I sold recently. But before I continue, I will note another vertigo that I experienced this morning.

For the past several days I have been staying up until 2am and then waking up around 8am, so I slept for 6 hours per night. In these days I was also very active with using computer, especially FaceBook, where I very intensively started to befriend all the people who I recognized as ones with potential to stand up for equality. All this actions were very focus intensive and I had to weight up who to ask for friendship and who not. This morning when I was in bed, and the alarm started to ring, I continued with sleeping. I noticed that subconsciously I started to think about something very intensely. I felt how this mind activity started to compound and build pressure in my head and the vertigo emerged. I started to sweat extensively, like getting fever, and I felt that my body is dehydrated and that if I would drink a glass of water, I would get ok. So I stood up and went in the bathroom while still experiencing the vertigo. Firstly I wanted to take a piss and shit, but while I was sitting on the toilet, the vertigo became so strong that I turned around and vomited. Since I had an empty stomach, only a bit of saliva came out of me. Then I took s few sips of water from the tap and returned to bed. After two hours of resting the vertigo went away completely and I was able to stand up and continue with my daily activities.

Now back to the main subject. It has been now around two weeks since the girl who spent five days with me went home. What is strange, is that she also experienced strong vertigo when she came home for a period of few days. And she has been calling me and sending me SMS messages daily, sometimes several time per day. She is telling that she is in love with me and that only once she loved a man so strong like me, that she is missing me and wants to be with me and hug me, and do whatever I would want her to do, and that she would go to the end of the world with me, and that I am so sweet and delicious that she wants to bite me and eat me alive, that I have stolen her hearth and soul, that she is going to love me even if I would be fat, old and ugly, that she is crying all the time and experiences a great pain in the chests since she is missing me so much, that my ears, nose and belly are so adorable, and that she would also shave her hair for me and follow me to Africa or to any place on this world, and that she wants to spend every single moment with me.

While some man would feel flattered by compliments like this, be thankful and accept the woman who is so dedicated, I response very different to this kind of words and actions. I invited this girl to visit me again since I required some help with packing stuff and moving out of my apartment, and since I liked the way how we interacted when she came to visit me for the first time. Now, when she came to visit me for the second time, the first thing what we did was having sex, since we both needed to release the energy that compounded in few weeks after the first visit. Then I planned for us to pack as many stuff as possible, but how the following few days actually resulted, was in having sex twice per day and hanging together without doing anything regarding packing stuff. It was only the fourth day when we finally got fed with each other and started to dismantle some furniture and fill the cardboard boxes with closed and shoes and similar stuff.

I enjoyed this experience, but I also became a bit tired of all this sticking together. I was not able to focus an writing blogs or watching Desteni videos and I was not able to be alone and enjoy the peace and silence. But what bothered me the most was that this girl did not care about my Desteni process, and was only interested in me as my physical body and personality. Although she has been in the process of self-realization by reading many spiritual book, she was not interested in the tools of writing herself to freedom and self-forgiveness. I explained her that her definitions of me and projections of her feelings of love are unacceptable and that I am only willing to be in an agreement with someone as one end equal with me, so we can support each other in the process of removing all the mind bullshit and take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling and emotions. I explain to her this every time when she calls me, but she does not take it seriously, she only smiles and wants to be funny and cute.

Yesterday she said that I may tell her directly if I do not want her to call me again, and I confirmed, since I wanted her to take time to cool down, but after few minutes, she called me again and said that she is unable to do that. So all this is indicating extreme mind possession, but since being in love is in our society so acceptable, she is not aware about the seriousness of her allowed and accepted anergy possession. I still respond to every single phone call of hers, since I do not mind if anyone calls me from time to time. There are some attributes regarding her physical body that I do not find very attractive, like that she is several years order than me, that the skin in her face looks very tired and that she has extensive deep blue circles around her eyes, that indicates some kind of strong inner imbalance. I also do not like long hair, since it is impractical and bothers the intimate physical interaction. I find her slender body quite attractive and her voice is very tender, soft and caring. But even if she would be younger than me, with perfect face skin and short hair, I would still not want to be with someone that is totally possessed with me.

I like to be alone, since I need peace in order to focus on my process of self-realization, support others and contribute to the solutions like Equal Money System that would provide for all living beings on this world equally and restore the balance. So I am only willing to accept someone that is equally inspired by Desteni and will join me as a part of the group who speaks and walks as one in order to impact this world effectively and bring the heaven on earth as soon as possible.
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2011 - How physical supports me with itching and vertigo in detail

I have been raised up to become a good brave boy that my parents could be proud of. My mother worked as a midwife and my father was firstly a chimney sweeper, than a head of a air cleaning unit in the steel factory and then he finally started his own business. In the beginning we produced innovative products for steel industry and when recession started, we transformed into visual communications family business. With my younger brother I was helping to produce stuff and services since elementary school and we were not allowed to go out since we could end in the bad company.

During the years of working, I had to obey my father and do what he wanted me to, so I learned to suppress my emotions. This suppression started to manifest on my physical body as the itching region of the skin around my genitals. Firstly I did not know what the reason was, so I went to a doctor who prescribed the treatment with some ointment. This did not help, so I researched alternative medicine and visited several different Chinese and Ayurvedic specialist, but nothing helped. Then after years of the research and experiences, I recognized that there is nothing out there that can help me, since the cause of the problem is within me. I noticed that the pinching itching sensations manifested every time when I had certain kind of thoughts and emotional reactions. When I met Desteni in october 2009, I became familiar with the tools of self-forgiveness and advanced tools of mind constructs that supported me in defusing this emotional reactions. I have noticed, that within last year, I have gradually became more and more stable, the itching diminished extensively, and also the general skin condition improved significantly.

A few years ago I also started to experience vertigos. Several times a year I got so sudden strong vertigo with nausea that I vomited, but this lasted just one day. But a few months ago, I got I massive vertigo that diminished slowly only after one week. This happened after spending a weekend with some girl and then she returned home monday morning. I started to research what could be the cause of the vertigos. Some small vertigos also started to manifest suddenly during the day and I noticed that it appeared after certain form of thinking or mind patterns. I became very attentive about what I was thinking the moment before the vertigo appeared. Most of this small ones went away after I lied down on the sofa and took a short nap for half an hour or so. But I am noticing that I have become more and more sensitive to certain mind patterns and that I had to become more careful about what I am thinking. I could say that the physical has starting to become more and more demanding and that the tolerance level of my unequal thinking has reduced.

Now I have been researching what kind of mind patterns result in what kind of physical support and I came to the following conclusion. The support of itching is related to the mind patterns of anger, intolerance and rushing, thus also the skin developed a rash. It can also be described as the the production of hot energy that burns and disintegrates my skin. Thus I need to cool down my emotions, forgive myself and breathe effectively. And the support of vertigo is related to different kind of mind patterns, like over achiever, superiority and is linked also to emotions like envy and arrogance, wanting to become something more, higher, reaching the sky, thus my head stopped me with the vertigo in order to lower myself down to the equal level with others. The sensation when thinking this kind of mind patterns is like some kind of heavy fog or pickling and tingling feeling that compounds and expands and occupies my whole head. And when I start breathing effectively, my head becomes clear and table again.

So I need constantly to pay attention to my mind patterns and not allowing any anger or envy in order to avoid sensation of itching or vertigo and constantly breathe effectively. I am very thankful to physical for this support, since it mirrors my actions very clearly and supports me on the path to self-realization.
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2011 - Got money from selling apartment, bought ticket to Desteni farm

After two days of delay, the buyer of my apartment finally wired me the money, thus my apartment definitely got a new owner. So for the past few day, I have been very busy with paying all the past bills, delayed taxes, closing bank credits, ordering passport, preparing the visa application, making flight reservation and Desteni Farm holiday booking. Today I plan to open the bank account at new bank, since I had bad experiences with my current bank, and I will have to wait only two weeks in order to get credit card, and not two months as my current bank demands. I also have to pay commission to the real estate agency and check if all the taxes are payed in accordance to our laws. By Saturday I plan to move out of apartment completely and temporary settle at my father's upper flat. I then plan to update my computer graphic design software, buy a camera and start to produce vlogs and blogs more regularly.
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2011 - Considering farming in order to relieve my butt

It has been now almost one year since I started Structural Resonance Alignment Training. When it was firstly introduced, there was no detailed description of what it would include and how will the lessons be structured, so I was not able to predict how will it influence my life. I pictured it as being only a deep study and guidance on tools like self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. So I was quite surprised when we started with muscle-communication, which was totally mind-blowing and I still get amazed every time when using it. Then the mind constructs lessons started and I saw how deep and detailed analysis of our mind patterns can be. And filling response sheets with information about what our unconscious mind networks exist as was also quite a challenge. In spite of great resistance that I had with pulling out all of information, I was able to push myself and do all the homework in time, so I am quit satisfied with myself.

However it was not until six months after beginning of my SRAT study when I realized that extensive blogging and vlogging would also have to become major part of my life. It would be far more convenient for me if I could continue with my current style of life, doing my business and enjoying whatever I would like to do throughout the day. I expected that my SRAT tutor would only give me some goal-oriented assignments and when I would finish them, I would have no more obligations in regards to the process. But slowly I started to realize that Desteni process is not about executing specific assignments, but about birthing yourself as life from the physical and living the message of oneness and equality and doing what is best for all in every single breath. This means to become constantly stable inside and to direct yourself not as energy, but as the principle. Just understanding this concept is very challenging and to actually become life that stands the test of time, is an hard-to-imagine achievement.

The way how my parents raised me and influenced me, especially my father, was to obey him and do exactly what he wants and to not what he does not want. So I became used to move myself only if there was some other impulse, meaning, if other people would instruct or order me to do something. I have became obedient worker without self-will, bravely executing orders of others, and when I finished the job, I stopped moving. And I am still looking forward for someone to direct me, to give me some assignment, and if there is no impulse from outside, I became lazy.

If there is nothing specific that someone wants me to do, I go into low-esteem mode, researching, enjoying and resting. In some way, I have abdicated my self-will, so I find hard to direct myself when I am alone. In that occasions I allow my mind to move me. If I do not know what to do, I lye down on the sofa and take a nap. While resting, I start to think and then I come to idea what would be cool to do next. Then I wake up and start moving myself towards execution that idea. Most of ideas that I come up with are oriented towards research, self-realization and making this world a better place, but they do not have significant impact. The thing I enjoy the most is watching and sharing Desteni videos and other information. I like befriending people who want to discover themselves and invite them to research Desteni. But there are also stuff that I do not like as much, since they involve reading texts and removing mind-fucks.

As a DIP recruiter, I am also receiving ITD lessons so I can get acquainted with the process that ITD student are walking in order to be a proper buddy to my recruits in the future. I have noticed that the second lesson includes suggestion to blog every single day. While I have decided to blog more frequent a few months ago, the initial information about the minimum amount of blog posts for the beginners was about one post per month. That seemed to me too infrequent, so I was very surprised when I heard about daily blogging for the ITD students. As a future buddy, I wanted to be equal to the ITD students, so I read all the lessons and re-watched the suggested videos, but now I am also faced with the challenge to blog daily. While I compared myself to other Destonians from Slovenia who blogged just a few times per month, I have been very satisfied with my achievement of blogging several times per week. But now, when ITD students from Slovenia started to blog daily, I have lost my lead. Thus I will have to push myself even more to catch up with the rest of the group.

But no problem, if others can do it, I can do it also. Well it is not so hard for me to write myself out mentally, but it is the physical that is making me problems. I mean the physical pain system and the gravity are making me hard to blog. Since every blog takes from one to two hours to write, I need my body to be still in order to hit the keyboard on the screen accurately and write what I have on my mind. But after some time of not moving my physical body, the force of gravity starts to press on my skin and muscles which results in increasing pain that redirects my attention from writing. Thus I need to stop writing, move my body and then continue. Since I spend a lot of time sitting and using computer already for my business, research and entertainment need, having to blog daily means to increase the amount of time while sitting and using computer even more. So my butt suffers extremely and extensively and the nasty and painfully boils start to appear on the skin of my ass.

I see the computer as a very useful tool to communicate with lots of people regardless of their locations, and it also tool that I use to create graphic design, execute pre-press, and retouch photos as part of my business services. If I add watching videos for education and entertainments, I can conclude that I am using computer for most of my day. I have no problems with my eyes while watching for so long, it is only the buttocks that takes all the stress. So I consider changing my professional services into something that would result in more physical activities and would not include using computer. Thus owning and working on some far is a very attractive Idea. It would bring me the opportunity to ground and earth me much better and to be in touch with other living beings, since now I am mostly separated from natural environment, spending all day in my apartment. So when I return from the holidays on the Desteni farm, I will check the available options of buying a small farm somewhere in our country or joining some group that already owns and lives on the farm.
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