Yesterday I spent the first night at my father's apartment. The bed was very soft, so I did not sleep very comfortably since I am used to much harder bed. When I woke up, I stayed in the bed, picked my MacBook and started to watch vlogs and to answer emails and FaceBook massages. I spent this way for about two hours without moving much, when I started to feel a bit dizzy. I lifted myself up, got dressed and made a cup of large tea in the kitchen. But the dizziness did not go away, but it only compounded, so I lied down to bed with hopes that it will go away. But the vertigo became stronger and stronger. I felt hopeless, since I was only able to breathe and nothing else, and a many thoughts flew through my mind that I was unable to stop. So I indulged the sensation with expectation that the body will soon sort itself out as usual. I started to feel sick in the stomach and the body temperature started rising. I perceived this fever to be a body natural defense mechanism in order to burn all the toxins. I was under influence of the lecture of Italian doctor who explained that it is the fungus who starts to spread in the body and is the cause of tumors. So I imagined that the heat is frying this fungus or some viral system that have spread in my head and took me over. Then the sickness in the stomach became so strong, that I went to bathroom and emptied my stomach by vomiting. I perceived like the body accumulated all the toxins and malicious systems in the stomach and now it was turn to remove it out of the body. After vomiting the fluid, since it was the third day of fasting, and I have been drinking nothing but water and tea, I returned to the bed and continued to rest. Slowly the temperature started to fall and the vertigo disappears.
In the afternoon I worked on my desktop PC in order to fix some tax errors that I made. I was to return some amount of money to several companies that payed my bills, since it was theirs duty to pay the income tax in my behalf. It took me about three hours to execute all the online bank transactions and to prepare mail for the clients. It was about 6pm when I took the mail to the post office and then I went to my ex-apartment in order to continue with emptying the rooms. So far I was able to empty all the furniture and now I needed to dismantle the furniture and store it temporary in the basement until I move to Ljubljana after I return from Africa. Slowly I dismantled the bedroom, the sofa and office table, and then I carried it, together with bamboo furniture from the counseling office, that did not need any dismantling, into basement. When I would empty one room, I would deep-clean the carpet with the Vorwerk vacuum cleaner and the cleaning powder so the new owners would move into perfectly tidy apartment. While moving the furniture I learned that if I use all my strength to push something, I would immediately get dizzy, so I became very careful not to exaggerate. Occasionally I took a glass of water, and I noticed that in spite of long work, my head became more and more clear. It was exactly midnight when I finished transporting all the furniture to basement and deep-cleaned the largest room and the bedroom. Now I only need to came once again in order to deep-clean the living room and to wash the kitchen and all the windows.
When I returned to my father's apartment, I changed the mattress with the harder one that I brought from my ex-apartment. I slept very well and inspire of 6 hours recent hard physical work, I woke up at 4am, so only after 4 hours of sleep, which surprised me very much. My head was very clear, so I picked up the notebook and checked up messages and played the new Desteni videos. I noticed that the new http://www.demonology.co.za web site and the http://www.youtube.com/demonsdaily YouTube channel has been launched that will provide proper support regarding demons and demon possessions, which I find very cool.
I then watched national TV daily news recording and there were two major points. One indicated large riots in the Egypt and it seems that the people all over the world are getting tired of suppression and slavery. There were also some cleanups in our country, since the news reported of some judge that took bribery and they managed to collect sufficient evidence in order to convict him. There is a lot of corruption in our country, but if someone makes any report, it is mainly disregarded, since the elite stick together and support each other. Thus some major removal of all the current public employees will be needed in order to stop driving our country towards bankruptcy.
After four hours of working with computer in the bed, at 7am I decided to continue resting. I rested for about two hours and started at 9am started writing this blog. I still have very clear and stable head and I wish this state to continue. In spite of sweating a lot these days, I did not take a shower or had a shave for four days. Usually I feel very uncomfortable after I sweat, and pimples quickly appear due to greasy clogged skin. But now my skin was clear, no pimples and I did not smell bad at all. However I am going to shave and take a shower right after I finish this blog post, since at noon, we are having dinner to celebrate my father's 60th birthday. He told me, that the dinner will be on Sunday, but yesterday evening he told me, that he made a mistake and that the dinner will take place today, on Saturday. I am looking forward to meet close relatives, I already met my brother and his family two days ago, but today also the half-sister and her partner will come, which I did not see for more than a year. I expect that everyone will have a lot of questions about my plans regarding moving to different location and traveling to Desteni farm, so it could be very interesting.
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27 January 2011
2011 - Finally moved out to my father's place, who became 60 years old
Today I finally moved out of my apartment since the phone company disconnected the internet and this will be the first night that I will spent in the top apartment at my father's house. I also received the confirmation letter that my bank debts were payed, so I managed to open personal and business accounts and apply for the credit card at the new bank. I also settled yearly car obligations by paying the road tax, car insurance and the highway fee.
Yesterday I decided to start fasting, since small occasional vertigos started to bother me more and more frequently. I wanted to give my body a break in order to rest and clean itself from the toxins. So for the last two days I have been only drinking water and tea and I can say that it supports me a lot at keeping my head clear and stable. I plan to continue to fast for two more days, and I will stop on Saturday since my father has invited me for family dinner in order to celebrate his 60th birthday.
But since exact birthday anniversary of my father is today, my brother with his wife and two daughters came to visit my father while I was came down to the living room. My brother gave him the iPhone4 for the present and then all three of us men went down to the workshop and spent more than three hours synchronizing the information and updating software, also on his iPad. Then my father gave his iPhone3 to brother's oldest daughter and his other multimedia phone to the younger daughter. The oldest daughter became so excited that she started to cry extensively out of joy and happiness.
There is also a big furry gray cat here at father's place that came to his house a few months ago. It had one leg injured and we do not know exactly what was it's story. It is quite frightened and does not like to be stroked for a long time, nor does it allow to be lifted or held. Its fur is very thick and when stoking it, the static electricity starts to build up and sparks manifest between the fingers and its fur. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why does it not like to be caressed, since sparks feel like a sting of the needle. My father also does not allow it to enter the house, so it had to be outside, even in the winter. But I like the cat to come inside, so it came to my apartment, I gave it something to eat end drink and then we both rested on the bedroom.
I did not notice any significant emotional reaction today within myself, so I am very satisfied with how I handled interactions with numerous people, live and on the internet. I was able to be here present and breathe effectively. Let us see, how this trend continues.
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Yesterday I decided to start fasting, since small occasional vertigos started to bother me more and more frequently. I wanted to give my body a break in order to rest and clean itself from the toxins. So for the last two days I have been only drinking water and tea and I can say that it supports me a lot at keeping my head clear and stable. I plan to continue to fast for two more days, and I will stop on Saturday since my father has invited me for family dinner in order to celebrate his 60th birthday.
But since exact birthday anniversary of my father is today, my brother with his wife and two daughters came to visit my father while I was came down to the living room. My brother gave him the iPhone4 for the present and then all three of us men went down to the workshop and spent more than three hours synchronizing the information and updating software, also on his iPad. Then my father gave his iPhone3 to brother's oldest daughter and his other multimedia phone to the younger daughter. The oldest daughter became so excited that she started to cry extensively out of joy and happiness.
There is also a big furry gray cat here at father's place that came to his house a few months ago. It had one leg injured and we do not know exactly what was it's story. It is quite frightened and does not like to be stroked for a long time, nor does it allow to be lifted or held. Its fur is very thick and when stoking it, the static electricity starts to build up and sparks manifest between the fingers and its fur. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why does it not like to be caressed, since sparks feel like a sting of the needle. My father also does not allow it to enter the house, so it had to be outside, even in the winter. But I like the cat to come inside, so it came to my apartment, I gave it something to eat end drink and then we both rested on the bedroom.
I did not notice any significant emotional reaction today within myself, so I am very satisfied with how I handled interactions with numerous people, live and on the internet. I was able to be here present and breathe effectively. Let us see, how this trend continues.
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2011 - Our country Slovenia soon facing bankruptcy
I have been watching a video recording of a lecture titled "Financial distress of Slovenia", where Zoran Dernovšek, independent financial counselor, who also studied international finances, presented disturbing financial information regarding our country. He showed the trend of our Slovenia country rapidly going into large debts in order to provide enough money to pay off all public servants and provide for retired citizens. This trend started months ago, when government started to bail out two of our largest banks. If one is to include all hidden taxes, we are the world record holder as the highest taxed nation, with total of 70-80% tax rate. Thus he predicts total bankruptcy of our country in just 6-8 months!
So far I have been concerned only for USA, since I have followed reports from Russia Today TV show and Lyndon LaRouche financial predictions, but I have never imagined that our country would also suffer total financial collapse. Zoran explained that the leadership and court system of our country is very corrupt, that the civil service is far too big for our nation of 2 million people, and that with proper management, our country could prosper just fine only with 10% tax rate.
He indicated that there is not enough critical mass of people currently in order to overthrow the people who are on the leading and decisive positions in our political and social system, and that national bankruptcy is inevitable unless some change in current trends happens. In the scenario of financial collapse, we are to receive help from EU financial rescue officials that would come and clean our government management. This would be a tuff step to take, but Zoran does not see any other solution.
Alarming times are obvious ahead of us, and no one can predict exactly what is going to happen. Thus I want to introduce the solution of Equal Money System to as many people as possible, especially to those who have the power of influence in the current position. I am looking forward for the book on Equal Money that is expected to be released in the following few months, as the support and guidance for the people who see the great need to change the current money, economic, political and social system.
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So far I have been concerned only for USA, since I have followed reports from Russia Today TV show and Lyndon LaRouche financial predictions, but I have never imagined that our country would also suffer total financial collapse. Zoran explained that the leadership and court system of our country is very corrupt, that the civil service is far too big for our nation of 2 million people, and that with proper management, our country could prosper just fine only with 10% tax rate.
He indicated that there is not enough critical mass of people currently in order to overthrow the people who are on the leading and decisive positions in our political and social system, and that national bankruptcy is inevitable unless some change in current trends happens. In the scenario of financial collapse, we are to receive help from EU financial rescue officials that would come and clean our government management. This would be a tuff step to take, but Zoran does not see any other solution.
Alarming times are obvious ahead of us, and no one can predict exactly what is going to happen. Thus I want to introduce the solution of Equal Money System to as many people as possible, especially to those who have the power of influence in the current position. I am looking forward for the book on Equal Money that is expected to be released in the following few months, as the support and guidance for the people who see the great need to change the current money, economic, political and social system.
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26 January 2011
2011 - Bought new photo equipment, met new interesting people
Yesterday morning I have been busy packing and moving out of my apartment and I managed to make two rides with my car, fully filled with the stuff. In the afternoon I went to Kranj city where I met with the real estate agent, and we went to the public notary to authenticate the selling contract for my apartment. I then visited Kompas tourist agency since the visa application form that I have found on the web was not the correct version. So I had to write down all the information again in a just slightly different form that was five pages long, and then they faxed it to the South African Embassy in Vienna.
Then I continued my ride to our capital city Ljubljana, where I planned to purchase photo equipment. I was there last time two months ago when I assisted my neighbor to pick the proper camera for his personal use, and he also rented me his equipment a few times afterwards for my professional use. But since I am going to South Africa and then move to new apartment in Ljubljana, I will be no longer able to rent his equipment from him anymore due to long distances. So this time it was my turn to buy some entry-level camera for my basic needs. While driving there and back I was speaking self-forgiveness out loud whenever I noticed any movement of my mind, which assisted me to be fully present in my car and focus on the traffic.
I have been using Nikon brand professional equipment until I sold it two years ago. When I have been picking the camera for my friend, we decided to go for a middle price-range Canon camera that was able to also take full HD movies. But one month ago a new model of Nikon SLR camera was released that also enables to shoot in full HD, so I tested it and compared it with the Canon model. It was smaller and cheaper than Canon, with great ergonomics, so I decided to go with Nikon. I bought a set with a body and two zoom lenses that cover from 18 to 300 mm range, the most powerful external Nikon flash, a monopod, one backpack, one beltpack and some other small accessories. This will cover my needs to make some photos in Africa and also to execute professional photography and video projects.
While driving back home, I stopped again in Kranj, where I was invited to participate in discussion with group of people who also want to improve this world. This time I was only in role of listener and observer, and I expect the next time to have the opportunity to introduce them with the Desteni solutions. The place was very cold and the air was filled with cigaret and marijuana smoke, so it was not very enjoyable for me. But since I was not there for my personal pleasure, I endured in expectation with future results in connecting people that would like to make this world a better place.
When I arrived home, I checked my email and FaceBook and started to reply to messages. When I got to the message where someone was asking me about how can one be sure if everything that Desteni is saying is nothing but the truth, I experienced like someone would push me swiftly in my head from left side and moved me right for a few centimeters and this resulted in immediate strong vertigo. Up to this time, the vertigo appeared more gradually, but this time was like a immediate strong hit. I lied down on the sofa and started to rest in order for vertigo to go away as usual. Slowly I started to feel very sick in the stomach and I also experienced pressure and gas in my intestines. I considered this also to be a result of daily stress and very quickly eating tho sandwiches that I bought on the gas station, that were heated in the microwave and eaten fast on the parking spot before I went to the group discussion. So I decided to go on a toilet and empty my stomach and intestines by vomiting and taking a shit. A then went to bed, since it was already very late.
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Then I continued my ride to our capital city Ljubljana, where I planned to purchase photo equipment. I was there last time two months ago when I assisted my neighbor to pick the proper camera for his personal use, and he also rented me his equipment a few times afterwards for my professional use. But since I am going to South Africa and then move to new apartment in Ljubljana, I will be no longer able to rent his equipment from him anymore due to long distances. So this time it was my turn to buy some entry-level camera for my basic needs. While driving there and back I was speaking self-forgiveness out loud whenever I noticed any movement of my mind, which assisted me to be fully present in my car and focus on the traffic.
I have been using Nikon brand professional equipment until I sold it two years ago. When I have been picking the camera for my friend, we decided to go for a middle price-range Canon camera that was able to also take full HD movies. But one month ago a new model of Nikon SLR camera was released that also enables to shoot in full HD, so I tested it and compared it with the Canon model. It was smaller and cheaper than Canon, with great ergonomics, so I decided to go with Nikon. I bought a set with a body and two zoom lenses that cover from 18 to 300 mm range, the most powerful external Nikon flash, a monopod, one backpack, one beltpack and some other small accessories. This will cover my needs to make some photos in Africa and also to execute professional photography and video projects.
While driving back home, I stopped again in Kranj, where I was invited to participate in discussion with group of people who also want to improve this world. This time I was only in role of listener and observer, and I expect the next time to have the opportunity to introduce them with the Desteni solutions. The place was very cold and the air was filled with cigaret and marijuana smoke, so it was not very enjoyable for me. But since I was not there for my personal pleasure, I endured in expectation with future results in connecting people that would like to make this world a better place.
When I arrived home, I checked my email and FaceBook and started to reply to messages. When I got to the message where someone was asking me about how can one be sure if everything that Desteni is saying is nothing but the truth, I experienced like someone would push me swiftly in my head from left side and moved me right for a few centimeters and this resulted in immediate strong vertigo. Up to this time, the vertigo appeared more gradually, but this time was like a immediate strong hit. I lied down on the sofa and started to rest in order for vertigo to go away as usual. Slowly I started to feel very sick in the stomach and I also experienced pressure and gas in my intestines. I considered this also to be a result of daily stress and very quickly eating tho sandwiches that I bought on the gas station, that were heated in the microwave and eaten fast on the parking spot before I went to the group discussion. So I decided to go on a toilet and empty my stomach and intestines by vomiting and taking a shit. A then went to bed, since it was already very late.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to observe and admire the looks of some girl and wanting to be her boyfriend and having sex with her, instead of realizing the attraction to someones looks is resonantly triggered by the mind, and is based on the programming of the sex system that locks and enslaves you in relationship and distracts you from grasping and taking the full responsibility for the whole reality in this world.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel ashamed when having vertigo and writing about it in my blog, since I want to be perfect and flawless Destonian and by my example represent the effectiveness of Desteni tools, instead of realizing that Desteni as organization has nothing to do with me personally, that only I am responsible for myself, that I can not control my physical body, and that I need to trust my body to do whatever it decides it is necessary in order to remove all the toxins and become stable again.
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24 January 2011
2011 - Continuing with moving out, spreading the message of Desteni
Today I have been busy packing my stuff in order to move out of my apartment, and I have been also very active in communicating with a lot of new friends on the FaceBook. Many have found the new Desteni videos that I promptly post on by FaceBook wall every day very inspiring, so I sent them additional information and links to Desteni web sites and YouTube channels. Of course there were also some who wanted to hold onto their own opinions, so we ended the chat very quickly.
I am noticing improved emotional stability, and this is probably the result of extensively speaking self-forgiveness sentences out loud yesterday. I have been able to write long explanation messages to friends who wanted to know more about Desteni with a lot of patience. And I have learned that commenting to the love and light bullshit posts of some friends is very counterproductive. The people simply do not like others to disturb their illusion of good feelings. So I am sticking to posting the Desteni stuff only on my wall and other Desteni group walls and communicate only with those who will like the videos, vlogs and blogs.
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I am noticing improved emotional stability, and this is probably the result of extensively speaking self-forgiveness sentences out loud yesterday. I have been able to write long explanation messages to friends who wanted to know more about Desteni with a lot of patience. And I have learned that commenting to the love and light bullshit posts of some friends is very counterproductive. The people simply do not like others to disturb their illusion of good feelings. So I am sticking to posting the Desteni stuff only on my wall and other Desteni group walls and communicate only with those who will like the videos, vlogs and blogs.
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23 January 2011
2011 - Curing cancer effectively with sodium bicarbonate and iodine
Today I have watched a two hour footage of lecture of Primož Verbič who is the president of SVOOD - Slovenian Society for Freedom of Choice. He had a speech in the Youth Cultural Center in Škofja Loka, where I am also to have a speech about my experiences with Desteni on 9. February 2011. He proved that vaccination is not only ineffective and that can also cause death, thus the doctors who enforce vaccination should be charged of murder.
Then I stumbled upon one video that some of my friend on FaceBook shared a YouTube video with Croatian subtitles on his wall and it held an information about Italian medical doctor Tullio Simoncini, who has been researching cancer for many years. In the footage of his lecture he claimed that cancer is the result of human body defense when Candida fungus starts to spread due to disrupted body acidity. He proved that cancer can be cured effectively simply if it gets in touch with sodium bicarbonate. And the skin cancer can be fully cured just with the iodine solution. All the information in shared in many languages, including Slovenian, on his web site > http://www.curenaturalicancro.com
Since the mother of my friend, who lives in the same building, is working on the Slovenian Oncology Hospital, I called her and shared the interesting information with her. Not long after I started to share her this information, she stopped me and said that she does not believe the information on the internet and that she trusts her colleagues that collect the most advanced knowledge on the many top world medical conferences. She did not bother to check the information for herself, and reacted simply out of ego end self-interest. This response of hers did not come as a great surprise, since I already shared her some useful information once and she proved that she does not give a fuck about patients, as long as she gets her big monthly paycheck. I gave her another try, but she exposed herself again as totally ignorant and irresponsible person.
As the lecture about vaccination and treating cancer exposed, there is a great resistance from the medical corporations, they make a great effort to discredit the free-thinking scientist, send annoying journalist and ridicule the discoveries in the media. Of course, simply because the new methods are not lucrative, but very cheap or free, so corporations and medical industry can not profit from patients anymore. And the doctors who spent a huge amount of money to get their medical diploma are not able to charge for their precious advices anymore. The whole medicine is corrupt, and it is the current money system that is holding everyone in the position of self-interest and greed. Thus this problem can not be fixed with small corrections, it will take a whole new system with the different values in order for all to break free from this slavery of banking terrorism. We need the Equal Money System that will support all life as one and equal and bring heaven on earth in the effective and practical way.
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Then I stumbled upon one video that some of my friend on FaceBook shared a YouTube video with Croatian subtitles on his wall and it held an information about Italian medical doctor Tullio Simoncini, who has been researching cancer for many years. In the footage of his lecture he claimed that cancer is the result of human body defense when Candida fungus starts to spread due to disrupted body acidity. He proved that cancer can be cured effectively simply if it gets in touch with sodium bicarbonate. And the skin cancer can be fully cured just with the iodine solution. All the information in shared in many languages, including Slovenian, on his web site > http://www.curenaturalicancro.com
Since the mother of my friend, who lives in the same building, is working on the Slovenian Oncology Hospital, I called her and shared the interesting information with her. Not long after I started to share her this information, she stopped me and said that she does not believe the information on the internet and that she trusts her colleagues that collect the most advanced knowledge on the many top world medical conferences. She did not bother to check the information for herself, and reacted simply out of ego end self-interest. This response of hers did not come as a great surprise, since I already shared her some useful information once and she proved that she does not give a fuck about patients, as long as she gets her big monthly paycheck. I gave her another try, but she exposed herself again as totally ignorant and irresponsible person.
As the lecture about vaccination and treating cancer exposed, there is a great resistance from the medical corporations, they make a great effort to discredit the free-thinking scientist, send annoying journalist and ridicule the discoveries in the media. Of course, simply because the new methods are not lucrative, but very cheap or free, so corporations and medical industry can not profit from patients anymore. And the doctors who spent a huge amount of money to get their medical diploma are not able to charge for their precious advices anymore. The whole medicine is corrupt, and it is the current money system that is holding everyone in the position of self-interest and greed. Thus this problem can not be fixed with small corrections, it will take a whole new system with the different values in order for all to break free from this slavery of banking terrorism. We need the Equal Money System that will support all life as one and equal and bring heaven on earth in the effective and practical way.
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22 January 2011
2011 - Message to the girl who is madly in love with me and the vertigo
Herewith I am going to expose my thoughts related to the girl who came to visit me all the way from other side of our country and stayed here for period of five days in order to also help me with packing and moving out from my apartment that I sold recently. But before I continue, I will note another vertigo that I experienced this morning.
For the past several days I have been staying up until 2am and then waking up around 8am, so I slept for 6 hours per night. In these days I was also very active with using computer, especially FaceBook, where I very intensively started to befriend all the people who I recognized as ones with potential to stand up for equality. All this actions were very focus intensive and I had to weight up who to ask for friendship and who not. This morning when I was in bed, and the alarm started to ring, I continued with sleeping. I noticed that subconsciously I started to think about something very intensely. I felt how this mind activity started to compound and build pressure in my head and the vertigo emerged. I started to sweat extensively, like getting fever, and I felt that my body is dehydrated and that if I would drink a glass of water, I would get ok. So I stood up and went in the bathroom while still experiencing the vertigo. Firstly I wanted to take a piss and shit, but while I was sitting on the toilet, the vertigo became so strong that I turned around and vomited. Since I had an empty stomach, only a bit of saliva came out of me. Then I took s few sips of water from the tap and returned to bed. After two hours of resting the vertigo went away completely and I was able to stand up and continue with my daily activities.
Now back to the main subject. It has been now around two weeks since the girl who spent five days with me went home. What is strange, is that she also experienced strong vertigo when she came home for a period of few days. And she has been calling me and sending me SMS messages daily, sometimes several time per day. She is telling that she is in love with me and that only once she loved a man so strong like me, that she is missing me and wants to be with me and hug me, and do whatever I would want her to do, and that she would go to the end of the world with me, and that I am so sweet and delicious that she wants to bite me and eat me alive, that I have stolen her hearth and soul, that she is going to love me even if I would be fat, old and ugly, that she is crying all the time and experiences a great pain in the chests since she is missing me so much, that my ears, nose and belly are so adorable, and that she would also shave her hair for me and follow me to Africa or to any place on this world, and that she wants to spend every single moment with me.
While some man would feel flattered by compliments like this, be thankful and accept the woman who is so dedicated, I response very different to this kind of words and actions. I invited this girl to visit me again since I required some help with packing stuff and moving out of my apartment, and since I liked the way how we interacted when she came to visit me for the first time. Now, when she came to visit me for the second time, the first thing what we did was having sex, since we both needed to release the energy that compounded in few weeks after the first visit. Then I planned for us to pack as many stuff as possible, but how the following few days actually resulted, was in having sex twice per day and hanging together without doing anything regarding packing stuff. It was only the fourth day when we finally got fed with each other and started to dismantle some furniture and fill the cardboard boxes with closed and shoes and similar stuff.
I enjoyed this experience, but I also became a bit tired of all this sticking together. I was not able to focus an writing blogs or watching Desteni videos and I was not able to be alone and enjoy the peace and silence. But what bothered me the most was that this girl did not care about my Desteni process, and was only interested in me as my physical body and personality. Although she has been in the process of self-realization by reading many spiritual book, she was not interested in the tools of writing herself to freedom and self-forgiveness. I explained her that her definitions of me and projections of her feelings of love are unacceptable and that I am only willing to be in an agreement with someone as one end equal with me, so we can support each other in the process of removing all the mind bullshit and take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling and emotions. I explain to her this every time when she calls me, but she does not take it seriously, she only smiles and wants to be funny and cute.
Yesterday she said that I may tell her directly if I do not want her to call me again, and I confirmed, since I wanted her to take time to cool down, but after few minutes, she called me again and said that she is unable to do that. So all this is indicating extreme mind possession, but since being in love is in our society so acceptable, she is not aware about the seriousness of her allowed and accepted anergy possession. I still respond to every single phone call of hers, since I do not mind if anyone calls me from time to time. There are some attributes regarding her physical body that I do not find very attractive, like that she is several years order than me, that the skin in her face looks very tired and that she has extensive deep blue circles around her eyes, that indicates some kind of strong inner imbalance. I also do not like long hair, since it is impractical and bothers the intimate physical interaction. I find her slender body quite attractive and her voice is very tender, soft and caring. But even if she would be younger than me, with perfect face skin and short hair, I would still not want to be with someone that is totally possessed with me.
I like to be alone, since I need peace in order to focus on my process of self-realization, support others and contribute to the solutions like Equal Money System that would provide for all living beings on this world equally and restore the balance. So I am only willing to accept someone that is equally inspired by Desteni and will join me as a part of the group who speaks and walks as one in order to impact this world effectively and bring the heaven on earth as soon as possible.
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For the past several days I have been staying up until 2am and then waking up around 8am, so I slept for 6 hours per night. In these days I was also very active with using computer, especially FaceBook, where I very intensively started to befriend all the people who I recognized as ones with potential to stand up for equality. All this actions were very focus intensive and I had to weight up who to ask for friendship and who not. This morning when I was in bed, and the alarm started to ring, I continued with sleeping. I noticed that subconsciously I started to think about something very intensely. I felt how this mind activity started to compound and build pressure in my head and the vertigo emerged. I started to sweat extensively, like getting fever, and I felt that my body is dehydrated and that if I would drink a glass of water, I would get ok. So I stood up and went in the bathroom while still experiencing the vertigo. Firstly I wanted to take a piss and shit, but while I was sitting on the toilet, the vertigo became so strong that I turned around and vomited. Since I had an empty stomach, only a bit of saliva came out of me. Then I took s few sips of water from the tap and returned to bed. After two hours of resting the vertigo went away completely and I was able to stand up and continue with my daily activities.
Now back to the main subject. It has been now around two weeks since the girl who spent five days with me went home. What is strange, is that she also experienced strong vertigo when she came home for a period of few days. And she has been calling me and sending me SMS messages daily, sometimes several time per day. She is telling that she is in love with me and that only once she loved a man so strong like me, that she is missing me and wants to be with me and hug me, and do whatever I would want her to do, and that she would go to the end of the world with me, and that I am so sweet and delicious that she wants to bite me and eat me alive, that I have stolen her hearth and soul, that she is going to love me even if I would be fat, old and ugly, that she is crying all the time and experiences a great pain in the chests since she is missing me so much, that my ears, nose and belly are so adorable, and that she would also shave her hair for me and follow me to Africa or to any place on this world, and that she wants to spend every single moment with me.
While some man would feel flattered by compliments like this, be thankful and accept the woman who is so dedicated, I response very different to this kind of words and actions. I invited this girl to visit me again since I required some help with packing stuff and moving out of my apartment, and since I liked the way how we interacted when she came to visit me for the first time. Now, when she came to visit me for the second time, the first thing what we did was having sex, since we both needed to release the energy that compounded in few weeks after the first visit. Then I planned for us to pack as many stuff as possible, but how the following few days actually resulted, was in having sex twice per day and hanging together without doing anything regarding packing stuff. It was only the fourth day when we finally got fed with each other and started to dismantle some furniture and fill the cardboard boxes with closed and shoes and similar stuff.
I enjoyed this experience, but I also became a bit tired of all this sticking together. I was not able to focus an writing blogs or watching Desteni videos and I was not able to be alone and enjoy the peace and silence. But what bothered me the most was that this girl did not care about my Desteni process, and was only interested in me as my physical body and personality. Although she has been in the process of self-realization by reading many spiritual book, she was not interested in the tools of writing herself to freedom and self-forgiveness. I explained her that her definitions of me and projections of her feelings of love are unacceptable and that I am only willing to be in an agreement with someone as one end equal with me, so we can support each other in the process of removing all the mind bullshit and take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling and emotions. I explain to her this every time when she calls me, but she does not take it seriously, she only smiles and wants to be funny and cute.
Yesterday she said that I may tell her directly if I do not want her to call me again, and I confirmed, since I wanted her to take time to cool down, but after few minutes, she called me again and said that she is unable to do that. So all this is indicating extreme mind possession, but since being in love is in our society so acceptable, she is not aware about the seriousness of her allowed and accepted anergy possession. I still respond to every single phone call of hers, since I do not mind if anyone calls me from time to time. There are some attributes regarding her physical body that I do not find very attractive, like that she is several years order than me, that the skin in her face looks very tired and that she has extensive deep blue circles around her eyes, that indicates some kind of strong inner imbalance. I also do not like long hair, since it is impractical and bothers the intimate physical interaction. I find her slender body quite attractive and her voice is very tender, soft and caring. But even if she would be younger than me, with perfect face skin and short hair, I would still not want to be with someone that is totally possessed with me.
I like to be alone, since I need peace in order to focus on my process of self-realization, support others and contribute to the solutions like Equal Money System that would provide for all living beings on this world equally and restore the balance. So I am only willing to accept someone that is equally inspired by Desteni and will join me as a part of the group who speaks and walks as one in order to impact this world effectively and bring the heaven on earth as soon as possible.
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