2011 - Dream about innocence, unconscious mind and self-responsibility

I had a dream tonight, about 5am, a night mare I can say, where I have been fighting the concept of innocence, conscious and unconscious mind and self-responsibility. I remember Sunette to be in the dream, and also Bernard. While I was lying on my bad and having this dream, I noticed how a vertigo started to emerge in my head and then I experienced a great urge to go to toilet. Despite my head spinning a bit, I managed to reach the toilet where I took a shit and piss. I did not experience any urge to vomit as usual when I experience vertigo. When I returned to my room, I drank some water. Then I went to bed and the temperature of my body increased and I started to sweat heavily. Again I experienced a great urge to take a shit, even greater than before, so I ran to toilet and a lot of shit came out of me and I was surprised that I still had so much shit in me. While taking a shit, this time a strong nausea also appeared, and I experienced immediate strong urge to vomit. So I immediately turned over, without having time to wipe my shitty ass, and emptied my stomach. It was mostly water that I drank before, but anyway. After that I felt pretty relieved and I went back to bed while still experiencing vertigo. Slowly the temperature of my body dropped and my head stabilized. Then I had a dream with some girl on the farm. We were in the mountains, where there were some caves with crystal clear water and very small, but deep lakes, and we were jumping in the water with a small dog and were diving naked and I observed the water surface from deep below the water. I slept till about 8am and then took a shower, since my head became stable enough to walk. While returning to my room I met Bernard and then I explained him the concept of my dream in the kitchen. He and Sunette commented on my experience and Bernard suggested me to write the dream and correct it in terms of taking self-responsibility, as he has done the same many times in regards to his dreams. Now to details of first and main dream.

Within dream I faced the memories where Bernard spoke with me, a few times with very strong energy, and introduced me to the perspective of myself that was mind-blowing. The first thing was that I was not allowed to us the lack of memory as excuse for what I have done in the past. And that included my past lives also on other planets. Then there were memories of points where Bernard, Sunette and other handled the physical pain and interpretations of the system that cause that pain. Observing these events made me think that there are dimensions of reality that I am unable to see, however they are suppose to be the manifestations of my subconscious and unconscious creation. So in the dream, I fought with these objectives where I was to take responsibility for something that I can not understand and see consciously. My justification was that I may be held responsible only for actions that are manifestations of my conscious mind, and not subconscious and unconscious. I tried to project blame towards Bernard ad Sunette, since I was not able to comprehend and have the same experience and understanding as they have. I was to be left alone and not charged with the crimes that I did not commit consciously.

But the fact is, that I was explained how mind works and that I am in every moment directed by thoughts that are automatically produced by my mind, which is my own creation due to long-lasting allowed and accepted accumulation of information and definitions. In time I have created this energetic entity of personality that has started to suppress me to the level where I almost completely diminished. Even though mind-consciousness system has been constructed in very subtle and deceptive way, it is still my responsibility for every moment when I participated in it. It was me who allowed to follow the thoughts and thus making them alive with my energy of attention. And since I was explained how I am in fact responsible for creating my ego personality, I can no longer be innocent. Thus I am no longer allowed to have the backchat without consequences. I need to stop any movement of the mind, breathe effectively and be here in the physical. Any projections of the past memories or thinking about the future without me actually directing the thoughts is not acceptable. However this is hard to be done due to my ego personality becoming so strong and infused with my physical, that I experience great unconscious physical fear that manifests as vertigo, heat, nausea and vomiting. However there is no other way to survive but to push myself through all of this, breathe through all uncomfortable physical experiences until I eventually birth myself as life as one and equal with all from the physical. I can not exist in this reality without becoming one with it and direct myself towards what is best for all living beings that are part of this reality. I can no longer exist as separate entity, only as observer, protecting only my self-interest and not giving a damn for others. The illusion of my individual mind-reality has to burst and be destroyed once and for all. It was the concept that could not stand the test of time in the first place. Existence can only be if all parts are aware of the full consequence of their actions, and direct themselves towards full support of all other parts of existence. Thus I as one part of existence need to take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling, emotion, voice or physical action, and support every single being as myself or I must no longer exist. No one that has any kind of intention to harm others will not be allowed to exist. So, this life is everyone's last opportunity to correct itself or to end its existence at physical death.

Self-forgiveness statements:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of envy towards Bernard, Sunette and other for possessing ability to experience, see and understand the systems and dimensions, instead of realizing that these abilities come with great responsibility that I can not even imagine, and that possessing certain abilities has nothing to do with self-realization, and is not the requirement or indicator of self-realization, since it is about all living being in this existence to self-realize together, as equal and one.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel pity for myself due to experiencing vertigo, instead of realizing that this is the consequence of my past participation in the mind and that I need to handle it as release of all energy that I have compounded through the time.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable when someone would ignore me due to expectation of everyone on the farm to treat me as one and equal, instead of stopping my desire to be noticed, understanding that how others react has nothing to do with me, and that it is my responsibility to be stable within, regardless where I am and who is in my presence.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed for other to see me how I vomit, have vertigo and similar conditions due to my desire of being perfect and wanting to present myself to others as perfect, instead of realizing that I am far from perfection, that I am separated from all life extensively, and that I will need to walk a long path and experience all sort of accumulated consequence in order to actually become self-realized.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others for not being perfect, constantly observing everyone and noticing any mistake, instead of realizing that judging others is in fact self-judgement, and that I need to accept others as one and understand that we are all in the same process, and that it will take a lot of time for everyone to gain perfection in terms of self-expression as one and equal with every living being.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comprehend the thinking in term of voices in my head to be equally valid as speaking, instead of realizing that allowing and accepting any undirected voice in my head is the result of separation and will result only in abuse, thus it must be stopped immediately.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to be special, caring only about my own self-realization and ignoring others, instead of realizing that self-realization is in fact the realization that we are all one and equal, all interconnected and interdependent and that self-realization can only be achieved if we all support each other in realizing this fact.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good if someone else gets hurt and experiences pain and interpreting this as their deserved punishment, instead of realizing that many of pain that other experience is the result of my creation and thus I am responsible for it, so I need to help others equally as myself in order to sort out this shit that I have allowed and accepted, otherwise it will turn back to me sooner or later.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others, instead of realizing the fear of others is actually fear of myself due to accepted and allowed abuse in this world and not taking self-responsibility for doing anything practical to assist in solving the problems that all living being experience in this moment.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to speak out loud and expressing myself vocally due to lack of my self-esteem, instead of realizing that communicating vocally as physical is necessary and only valid way of communication in order to fully express my every single perspective and not using secret mind, as the mind is the place of deception and abuse, thus every single thought has to be spoken out loud for everyone to hear and not be afraid of any more abuse from my side.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am pretty much enlightened, instead of realizing that I am full of fear of others, constantly fearing to be hurt or to loose my money and property, thus in my secret mind I attack, abuse and destroy others as first in order not to give them any chance to harm me in any way.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am totally cool and ok, intend of realizing that I am a very nasty and deceptive fucker, who use intelligence and knowledge to protect self-interest and leave others in deep shit.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of hate towards myself for being the nastiest fucker, intend of realizing that I have to accept myself firstly the way I am, and then immediately utilize the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to remove all the bullshit that I have accepted and allowed in my life.
    
    
14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that everyone is self-responsible for current life experience, and taking care only for my satisfaction, instead of realizing that this perception is a White Light deception that creates illusion of everyone being separated and without any influence and need for responsibility towards others, but in fact we are all interconnected and we all influence each other thus we all are equal responsible for current situation in the word.
    
    
15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek approval of others and fearing judgement of others due to lack of uncertainty, instead of realizing that I others can not baby-sit me for ever, and that I need to stand up and take self-responsibility by utilizing common sense, basic equality equation and principle that is "1+1=2" and "What is best for all".
    
    
16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for others to tell me what to do, instead of realizing that there is enough shit in the world that need to be cleared, thus I need to stand up for all life and direct myself in every moment towards making this world a better place.
    
    
17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy and the feeling of tiredness, since tiredness comes from participation in the mind and perception of separation, instead of realizing that by breathing effectively and being aware of all fuckness that currently exists in the world, I am able to motivate myself towards actively participating in co-creating heaven on earth.
    
    
18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself that I do not do enough to bring a change in this word, instead of realizing that the process will need a lot of time and that firstly I need to take care of myself and become a stable point, and then only will I be able to move faster and more effectively.

Self-corrective application:

1. When I notice that someone has some abilities, different from mine, I do not allow myself to compare myself with others, I breathe and remain here, since we have all different appearances and expressions, but are all the same as life.
   
   
2. When I experience any physical reaction, I understand that in that moment I can do nothing but to remain calm and breathe through, since it is all just a matter of time until it will go away.
   
   
3. When I meet other people, I do not expect from them to react in any particular way. I accept any reaction as their own creation and responsibility. I breathe and remain calm and do not allow for any emotion, word or act of others to influence me in any way whatsoever.
   
   
4. When I see people in trouble and distress, I consider them as one and equal and assist and help them to overcome their problems, without allowing any energetic movements before, during and after assistance.
   
   
5. When I notice my mind move, I immediately stop my participation in my mind. I breathe and focus on what is physically here, since the physical is the only valid reality. If the voices in my head are persistent, I assist myself with writhing, do mind construct, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.
   
   
6. When I communicate with other people, I make sure that my mind does not move, and then I push myself to speak directly and clearly as me as the physical.
   
   
7. When I feel tired I consider other people in the world who live in scarcity, hunger and war and push myself to be active in birthing myself as the physical and supporting equality system that will enable dignified life for all living beings in this world.
   
   
8. When I don't know what to do, I apply mathematical equation 1+1=2, common sense, principle of what is best for all, and ask the members of equality group to establish which way to move myself.
   
   
9. When I want to hurry and become impatient, I slow myself down, breathe, remain here and support myself to firstly be a stable point, and then only act towards making this world a better place.

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2011 - Valentin travelling to Desteni farm in South Africa report

The 10. February 2011 when I was to departure to Desteni farm in South Africa was getting closer and closer. The night before I had the third speech about Desteni at some youth club at Škofja Loka. I was invited so speak there by some guy who runs the web site www.ujet.si (Ujet si = You are trapped) and exposes the information about secret world elite and how we are all manipulated, controlled and enslaved. Due to four month of event advertising from his side and also me creating the FaceBook event and inviting all of my friends who live in Slovenia, I expected at least 20 people to come. My speech would also be recorded with video camera and put on the Ujet.si web site for others to watch. But half an hour after my speech was to begin, there was still no one in the room besides me and the guy from Ujet.si who prepared the camera. Thus I decided to perform the Desteni introduction speech especially for the camera, so at least many people would be able to hear it later on the internet. The guy shared his experience that young people are not interested in listening this kind of stuff and that people would come only if we would offer a beer for 1 euro. So indeed, as Bernard predicted, only people about age of 30, who extensively experienced the inequality of current money system, would care to stand for a change. Thus in the future I will not push any more speeches but focus on blogging and vlogging and attracting attention by me being the example of the change.

The next morning I started to pack for the trip. The day before I also bought some photography accessories that I planned to use, like the light bouncer and very robust tripod and the stand head, suitable for smooth moving and panning to be able to shoot high quality video. I packed it, together with clothes and personal accessories in a very large travelling case. And I packed the laptop computer and the camera body, lenses, flash and other small camera equipment into the camera backpack. I dressed in long light trousers, cotton pullover, high waterproof leather shoes, and a soft warm jacket. I asked my father to give me a lift with his car to the airport. So about one hour before the flight departure, we went on the road and we also stopped at the bank where I raised some money, since they did not manage to provide me with the new credit card on time. My father then left me on the airport and I headed for the baggage checkpoint.

This was to be my second experience of travelling with the airplane. The first one I had was about 20 years ago, when I travelled with my classmates to Monte Negro at the end of elementary school. And we only flew one way and returned via ship and bus. Now the first thing I wandered about was, how heavy was my big case. The limit was 20 kilograms and they weighted mine to be 30 kilos, so 10 kilos over weight. I had to decide whether to leave some objects here or to pay for the extra weight that was 20 euros per kilo. The money I already paid for the ticket to South Africa and back was around 1200 euros. Since I had enough money and I packed only the most necessary equipment, I decided to pay 200 euros extra, which was not really much, considering the length of the flight.

Then I continued to the traveller’s checkpoint where I had to put the computer out of my backpack, and put the backpack, purse and the jacket in the big plastic trays. They were then transported through some kind of x-ray machine in order to be checked for explosive or some other forbidden objects. And myself I had to go through the doorframe, which was some kind of metal detector. It beeped, and then I had to put each of my foot onto some additional scanning device. All went well, so I picked my stuff and continued for the waiting area. I ordered a muffin and a glass of water and made the first photos of my travelling adventure. I checked at information if there was some restriction at shooting photos at airports, since I did not want to become a suspected terrorist, but they said that it was completely fine. Soon the clock was 17:00 and the exit gates opened. I was to show my airplane ticket and passport to the person at the gate and then I went on the airport bus that waited outside. When all of travellers entered the bus, it took us to the relative small airplane of our Adria Airways airline. I firstly was not aware that we had already assigned seats, so I mistakenly seated down at the empty chair of the first class at the front. But then the stewardess asked me to show her the ticket and instructed me, to move behind in the economy class, where the seat in the middle of the airplane's length, on the left side next to the window was waiting for me. The stewardess put my backpack in the shelves above our heads and closed the doors.

We were then all shown how to use the safety belts, the oxygen masks and life saving suits in the case of the air pressure falling down or landing in the water. Since my seat was just next to the emergency exit, I was also explained how to open it in case of emergency. The stewardess checked if we all had safety belts fastened and we were ready for the flight. The jet positioned itself to the runway and started to accelerate. In couple of seconds we became airborne. We needed to stay on our seats until we would reach the cruising altitude. The sun was going down and it was nice view over the numerous high alpine mountains. Just a few minutes after we reached the final altitude, the stewardesses started to offer us a sandwich and a drink. We were able to pick ham or cheese sandwich and between different sorts of soft drinks, tea and coffee. I choose ham sandwich and orange juice. The ride for the Frankfurt airport in Germany was to take about one hour and a half. It became already very dark when we were to prepare ourselves for the landing. And we were cruising for quite some time after we needed to fasten our seat belts again. I don't know if it was usual to be prepared so soon, or the pilot had to wait for the runway to become available for landing. Finally we started to lower the altitude and we successfully landed.

The Frankfurt airport was very big, at least hundred times bigger than Ljubljana airport. The first thing I wanted to find out was if I needed to pick my big case somewhere, or if it will be automatically transported to the next airplane. I went to information and found out that my luggage would be transported automatically. Then I went to search my gate for departure to African continent. At information office they told me that I would have to go down the hall for about 1,5 kilometer. Yes, so big was the Frankfurt airport. But I had enough time, since the departure was scheduled at about 22:00 hours, so I had about three hour of time. I had to go through three checkpoints where the police firstly checked my passport, then someone checked my passport and the airplane ticket, and then they checked my backpack and scanned my body again. But this time the security procedure was much more detailed. Some guy detailed scanned my body with handhold scanner and touched every centimeter of my body. Since his sensor beeped when it would approach my shoes, I had to take them off and he took it somewhere for additional control. Uh, how my shoes become wet and smelly.

I successfully passed the safety control and continued to the waiting area. I ordered sandwich and a fruit tea, sat down and ate. Then I wanted to check my mail and write a blog, but there was no open and free Wi-Fi signal like at Ljubljana airport. There was option to buy the HotSpot credit for certain period of time, but I would need a credit card. I noticed there was also a computer terminal for public use. It had a metal keyboard and metal trackball. The cost of use was 20 cents per minute. I wanted just to update my FaceBook status, so I inserted 20 cents to see how far would I get. But since the trackball was so hard to move, and FaceBook asked me for some additional safety questions since I tried to login from unusual place, the time was not sufficient for me even to complete the FaceBook login procedure. So I had to feed the machine with additional 2 euros and then I had just enough time to write a few lines, so that my father and everyone else could know that I am fine. Since my shoes were very hot, I took them off in order to dry. I then took a nap for an hour, lying down across three seats, with my backpack under my head.

Slowly the waiting room started to become more and more filled with people. Half an hour before the scheduled departure I put on my shoes and approached the gates to check what was going on. They started to call some passengers by their names, since they had a reservation in the first class and privilege to be served before others. Then the four automatic gates for the rest of us opened. I approached the bar code scanning machine and pressed my ticked towards device, but it did not let me through. Some women called me to go to the computer and she had to enter the information from my passport and the ticket into computer and print for me a different kind of ticket. I was then able to pass the gates and enter the airplane. The machine was the biggest passenger airplane in the world, owned by the Lufthansa flight company, and had two passenger decks besides a lot of storage space. My seat was in the upper deck, almost at the tail and four seats away from the window, so I was not able to take many photos through the window during the flight. But every seat had a monitor and you could choose see the live video from one of three cameras, positioned above the airplane, aside the wing, or from above the tail. I preferred to observe the view from above the tail, since you could see almost all of the airplane body and the scenery bellow.

The flight start was delayed for couple of minutes, since the loading device got blocked and the maintenance workers had to fix it. This time the safety instructions were given via screens in our seats. Then the machine slowly taxied to the runway. And after some moments of acceleration, I was airborne again. The monitors provided also the option to watch the virtual landscape and flight information, similar to Google Earth. You could check the speed, altitude, time remaining to destination, and the globe map with the planned route and finished flight route. You could also pick to watch one of several movies from different genres. The stewards provided each of us with the blanket and headphones, packed in the transparent plastic bags, so it were probably freshly washed and sterilized. Shortly after we were offered a drink and a snack, also the warm dinner was served. I got the salad, bread, beefsteak with rice and beans and a cake. While eating, I started to watch The Social Network movie about the creators of FaceBook. Then I decided to get some sleep. It was so cold on the airplane that I had to button myself up completely, use the provided blanket and even put the warm cap on my head. The seats were quite hard, not very much place for legs, and just with little tilt available. So I had to change my position occasionally in order not to suffer too much pain on my buttocks.

The flight from Frankfurt to Johannesburg was to take about 10 hours. I woke about two hours before the landing, had some juice and then started to watch the R.E.D. action movie. Soon they also started to serve the warm breakfast. It was some bread, fruit spread, cheese, and omelets and a drink of course. At that time the sun already started to shine, but most of passengers still had their windows closed. When we approached the airport, all the windows opened and the bright sun light flushed the room. I also went to toilet in the morning. It was tight, but very nice, everything made from plastic, to reduce the weight I guess. The landing was perfect and we reduced the speed very fast since the runway was much shorter than in Frankfurt.

When we entered the Johannesburg airport, the uplifting African music played on the speakers in the hall and big posters welcomed us. This airport was also very big, I would say the half the size of Frankfurt airport. This time I had to pick my big case from the baggage carousel and transport it to another baggage checkpoint. When I headed to the exit gate, one portiere approached and asked where I am going. I showed him my ticket, he grabbed my big case and told me to follow him. This surprised me, since I did not know if it was his duty to assist me. I was grateful that he showed me the correct way to the second floor where and we were going very fast. I asked him if he expects any tip for his service and he said that he is not employed at the airport and that he expects a big tip. I gave him 10 euros, but he wanted me to give him 20. I insisted that this would be quite enough, especially since I did not asked for his services and I had enough time to find the necessary points by myself.

I then continued for the passenger checkpoint. For the third time I had to have my bags and body inspected and this time it went very quick. When I got to the departure gates I still had three hours left until start of my next flight. I checked for the Wi-Fi internet signal and again there were some, but all locked. I wanted to buy myself something to eat end drink and I asked where the exchange office was. They told me that I needed to go all the way back through the passenger checkpoint and down two floors, almost exactly where the portieres were. So if the portiere would not take my attention, I would probably notice the exchange service and would not need to go all the way back. There were three different exchange offices and I checked for their exchange rates. It seemed to be all about the same, so I picked one with the shortest queue. The exchange rate was about 10 rand for 1 euros and I exchanged 200 euros just in case.

On the way back I notices some area called lounge, like a self-service café with very cozy seats. I asked the women at reception what this place was about and she explained that if I pay 150 rand, I was able to use the facility, including unlimited food, wireless internet and also the showers. That seemed to me very cool offer, so I took it. Firstly I took a shower and also washed my socks, and dried the socks and shoes with the fan and then also refreshed the shoes with the deodorant spray from the toilet. Then I went to the foods and filled the plate with mini sandwiches and cupcakes, and for drink a picked the orange juice. After I filled my stomach, I connected to internet, updated my FaceBook status and did some other stuff. The connection was not very fast though. Half an hour before the departure time I went to the exit gates. At 17:00 SA time all the passengers were ready, but we had to wait a bit longer for the airport bus. We did not have to wait very long, and I found myself again on the airplane. It was a small one, similar to the first one, and the flight to Pietermaritzburg took only 1 hour. For the snack, we were offered a soft drink and a bag of potato chips.

The Pietermaritzburg airport was very small, I would say one fourth of Ljubljana airport or a little bigger than the size of our Lesce airport. Andrea awaited me there with her big white Jeep car and transported me to Desteni farm. The feeling and smell here is just like in our country in the area near the sea in the middle of the summer. The soil is red, a lot of forests, some rivers and lakes, but very hot and dry. Bernard was the first one who greeted me and firstly I did not even know that he was the one, since I pictured him very differently. After I settled in my room, I was introduced to other people on the farm and then also to the dogs. Beside myself there is also some other guy here from Amsterdam who came for a period of three weeks. In the evening I had a chat with Bernard and we spoke about some points. They offered me a meal and then I went to bed. I took a long sleep to rest from the travel. I will report more about my adventures on Desteni farm in my next blogs.
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2011 - Support for Relationship Demon possessed females

This is support for all women, who long for some specific person, who are in deep love into someone, but this someone is out of their reach or does not want to be in relationship with you.

Understand, that when you grow up, you are being imprinted with billions of information, mostly from your parents, and also from other people an media within your world. Some of those information are regarding relationships between man and a woman. You are fed with definitions of what is your role in this world as a female, how you should act and perform, and part of this female role is also to establish a relationship with some man, create family, have children and thus become a acceptable part of the society.

The parents are the first role model and then you observe also other relationships and copy the information into your subconscious mind. You start imagine your own ideal future relationship or family and thus produce desire for someone that would be able to fulfill this fantasy. Based on your past experience and programming from your parents, your fantasy is very specific of what the ideal partner should look like, how it should act and what shall provide for you in order for you to feel safe and loved.

Then within occasions where you are surrounded with other people, including men, you unconsciously start to observe and compare males with the ideal partner personality in your mind. When some gesture, word, or the looks of someone fits your inner picture of desired figure, then you start to project this ideal characteristics onto the selected male. You create the perception of this male as being something more, someone special, that is indispensable in your life in order to become completely fulfilled.

By this definition and labeling someone as more valuable as everything else, you create the point of inequality. You bring certain part of this creation above the other parts of existence and thus contribute to bringing the whole existence out of balance. Within the context of value, you separate something from everything else and give it much higher value, which result in creating two polarity points, one representing the desired female, and other representing the rest of existence. You stop paying your attention to everything around your equally and start focusing all your attention only on certain being.

Since you focus all your attention only onto someone, the friction within your mind-consciousness system occurs, and from this friction the energy is produced. This energy starts to flow and move within your psychical body and compound around your chest and belly region. The sensation of this energy you then call the feeling of love, and based on your accepted programming, you define this feeling as something normal, as part of the process of creating perfect, long lasting loving relationship. However you are not aware of the fact that it is your participation in your own mind who created this feeling, but project this manifestation out there, onto the person who you have started to define yourself, as being in love with.

However in reality, any being out there has nothing to do with how you feel. No one but yourself is responsible for you falling in love and experiencing the feeling of love. This is completely created by yourself within the mind-consciousness system by creating and holding onto point of inequality. If you continue to hold this point and time-loop in focusing all your mind attention onto someone, more and more energy is created. Within time, this anergy starts to become its own entity and thus the Relationship Demon is manifested.

This energetic demonic entity starts to posses you and slowly take control over you and your actions. You start to loose your mind and do not react in common sense anymore. You stop to treat everyone equally, you ignore their requests, wants and needs, and you start to move only in direction of fulfilling the desires of your Relationship Demon. You become obsessed with stalking selected male, writing him messages, expressing your love and dedication, describing how he is the only one that you are living for, and that he should give you a chance to live together, since you will do anything necessary to make him happy. Within your mind you enjoy the fantasy and pictures of the scenes where he and you will finally be together and live happily ever after.

If the male does not respond to your affectionate actions, then you start to become more and more desperate. Since you have defined the selected male as the source of your happiness and life fulfillment, by him not returning the attention, you define this state as the end of yourself, the road to life of misery and inner suffering. The consequences of feeding this energetic demon is manifested as pain in your body, you cry and desperately suffer. And once again, you are not aware that it is actually you who is inflicting the pain to yourself, but project the cause of the pain outside, onto the male who you desire.

By allowing yourself to go on with participating in this mind pattern, you feed the Relationship Demon to the extent that it totally possesses and consumes your. You end to exist as life and become nothing but energy that wants only more energy from other living beings. You do not take others into consideration, but only want to posses the targeted male, regardless of consequences. You try to get close to him, want to surprise him, perhaps even trap and rape him. If he would fight back, you would become violent and maybe even kill him. You actually do not care about him as a living being, you just want his energy of attention. So if he does not want to give you any attention, you allow yourself the emotion of envy and rather have him dead than allow him to give attention to any other being.

Thus, to prevent psychical or physical violence and murder, I suggest for every female, who experience the progression of described events, to stop immediately. Understand that energy is the trap and that results only in destruction. Life is not energy, the energy destroys life. Energy is produced by participating in mind-consciousness system that produces thoughts and fantasies. Whatever there is in your mind is all illusion. The reality is what is here as the physical in every moment of every breath. The mind allows you to create the bubble of separate individual reality that is different from the universal reality. When you try to impose your mind reality onto physical reality, the friction, energy, violence, pain and destruction is manifested. Thus I suggest not to participate in your mind at any time whatsoever and focus only on what is here in the physical.

The first support tool that helps you to ground yourself in the physical is breathing. If you are constantly aware of your breath, if every in-breath and out-breath is executed by your own will, than you effectively stop the thoughts to bother you and steal you attention from what is here. Thus make sure that you are aware of your breath constantly, in every single moment, without stopping. If you at any time notice, that you are in you mind, than you simply return your attention onto your breath. The other supportive tool is writing yourself to freedom, create mind constructs, indicate the accepted and allowed definitions that prevent you from considering all existence as one and equal, and then self-forgive those definitions. I recommend to research the Desteni I Process that will educate you effectively in tools to free yourself from influences of all energies and support your process of birthing yourself as life from the physical.

I am concluding this support with writing some self-forgiveness as one and equal with the female who has allowed and accepted to become possessed by self-created Relationship Demon. If you experience any level of possession, it is recommended that you read and speak this words out loud, since it will support you in shattering and defusing the mind patterns that in time crystalize and become one with the physical:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with someone, instead of standing up as life as one end equal to everyone else.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that falling in love is something normal and desirable, instead of realizing that this is just the information that I have accepted from my environment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall with the excuse of love, instead of realizing that the world "fall" indicates that I am not "standing" anymore, and that I need to remove all things that make me "fall", regardless of their nature.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love only as the feeling, instead of realizing that every feeling is the friction-produced energy, and that real love is the practical living as one and equal to every single living being and doing what is best for all.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that experiencing the feeling of love is the necessary experience that I need to get in order to complete my life, instead of realizing that in the moment that I desire something different from what is here in this moment, I actually stop myself as life and become energy that destroys all life.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for specific partner, based on my subconsciously created pictures and personality definitions of ideal male, instead of realizing that I can be in successful partnership with anyone who is willing to enter the agreement with me, where each one of us will support other equally.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as female and allow myself to create female personality and act according to what others have told me that I have to act like just because of my sex, instead of realizing that who I am is life and that any definition that defines me as something less that life is just going to limit my self-expression.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the energetic experience of feelings and emotions, believing that to be able to feel is what makes me human and warm and pleasant person, instead of realizing that the nature of energy is to distract me from what is here and that allowing the energy will consequently bring me pain and death.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believing that thinking is the part of who I am, instead of realizing that thoughts are produced by the mind-consciousness system that is enslaving us in time-loops where we repeat mistakes over and over, until we realize that mind is illusion and that what is real is only physical creation in this moment.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone as something more, and then project my definitions out there, instead of realizing that all definitions are my own creation and that no one but me is responsible for how I perceive everything that exists.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to uplift or degrade any part of reality and thus create the point of separation and polarity, instead of realizing that we are all one and equal and that any part of creation can not exist as more and less valuable than others.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can not live and be satisfied without some partner, instead of realizing that I am individual living being that does not need anyone to exist, live end express itself fully in every single moment.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to breathe and be here, instead of realizing that whenever I forget to breathe and start participating in my mind, I stop being aware of what I am actually doing and thus inflicting paint to myself and others.

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2011 - The second Desteni speech executed, upgrading my computer

Yesterday before noon I went out for a hike on a nearby hill, since I needed to ground myself. On the top, I was very surprised to meet my ex-coworker Valentina, who has been assisting me at photography projects a few years ago. Last year she managed to get employed at the Kranj city tourist office, it was only a limited one year job, but she was well paid. Two month ago her contract ended, she continued to collaborate on some projects, but the tourist office is now scarce on paying her, since they have to pay her out of their budget, and while she was employed, she was payed by or government. Tuff situation is here in our country and I heard that on every 60.000 people who finish education, only 6000 actually get the job.

In the afternoon, I headed towards the capital city Ljubljana and stopped bye at the Kompas tourist agency in Kranj, who informed me yesterday, that my visa for South Africa has arrived. I was happy to finally hold it in my hands, since now there is no more limitations for me to travel to Desteni farm. This made me consider the millions of less fortunate, who do not have the money or legal status to freely move around this planet, but are stuck in the same economic position and geographic location all their lives, only because they were born into poor environment.

Then I continued my ride to Ljubljana, where I ordered some parts to upgrade my MacBook. It was Friday 3pm and when I entered from the highway into the urban city area, the traffic started to clog. The usual working time in Slovenia is to 4pm, but many are ending the shift earlier, especially at Fridays. However I did not expect that I would be stuck in so slow traffic, since we were moving with speed of only 20 km/h in some occasions, where the speed limit would be 90 km/h. I announced myself at the computer shop that I will be arriving at 3pm, and I was already 20 minutes late when I crossed the city border. With fluid traffic I would be able to get there only 30 minutes late, and now I started to worry that they would close the shop before I reach the destination. I arrived there only 10 minutes before closing time and then I had to wait almost 10 minutes on the reception for my turn, only to find out that I have to go to the second entry on the other side of the building. So I ran there and reached the correct entry only few minutes before they were to lock the door. Fortunately they had mercy and took the time to upgrade the memory and hard drive on my computer and I also collected the larger external hard drive for the data backup.

The destination where I had to be next was Cerknica, but only at 6pm, and it was about half un hour drive from Ljubljana. I decided to take advantage of the time available and replace the car headlight bulb which broke down yesterday. I will be returning in the pitch dark, so it would be better to have both lights working. While most of the car shops on the country close at 5pm, I found out that in the city, several shops are open up to 7pm. So I searched for the one who was on my way who had the spare parts for my Renault Clio type of car. I had to pick between the cheaper bulb with the normal life span and the more expensive one with the long life span and two months of warrant. I went for the better one, since I have enough money currently. Wouldn't it be nice if the companies would produce only the best quality goods, so you would not have to pick between high and low quality goods?

It was high time form me to set out for Cerknica. The sun went down and I enjoyed the colorful sunset while driving on the highway with the maximum speed of 130 km/h. I stopped for on the gas station for I snack, since I would have to perform a few hour speech, and I wanted to have my stomach satisfied. How strange that if you have money, you can get the food everywhere, and on some gas stations even 24/7, but without money you simply die. This inequality has to end.

Even due pitch dark, and going to the town where I have never been before, I was calm, since I have a GPS navigation device in the car. I bought it a few years ago, when I was working as the travelling agent for the our biggest business directory. I simply enter the destination address and hit GO, and the displayed interactive map and the pleasant machine voice direct me turn by turn until I reach the wanted location. It is great that we have developed so assisting technologies, but why do only some have the chance to use it, and others not, until they enter this economic system and successfully get the money by selling the goods, which are made from the free materials of the earth? What a stupidity!

I managed to arrive to the meeting room in Cerknica right on time. The woman who met me on the FaceBook few days ago and invited me to speek about my experiences with Desteni, was already there. Within the next 10 minutes, the rest of the attendees arrived, and it was 5 women who managed to come. Firstly I asked what kind of groups they are and what exactly do they do on their meetings. They told me, that they talk freely about spirituality and new age stuff, but nothing special. So I started to share my experience of my past 10 years of research and about how I met Desteni and how influenced my life.

When I was speaking of the difference between life and energy and how the energy is always the result of the friction between reality and the mind-consciousness system, one woman wanted to express her opinion. She was about 60 years old and explained, that she is actually the spiritual leader of this group, that she knows where I am coming from and what is my mission on this earth. I explained that the information where I come from and what is my mission does not influence this reality in any way whatsoever, and that this is only a mind masturbation. What is important, is the state of this physical reality in this moment, and each of us has to take full responsibility for the current stare and direct ourselves into solutions that will practically change the world system into equality system.

After about two hours of speech, the leader of the group expressed her thanks for coming. After I explained that I am going soon to Africa and after I return, my plans are to move to Ljubljana city area, she predicted that this will not happen and that I will move to England, and that besides the White Wall of light, there is also some Black Wall that is holding us all back. I was surprised how someone can tell me about my future, and that this future is different from the expected result of my self-movement. I conclude this to be only an ego statement, coming from her mind, with starting point of superiority and wanting attention. There is no practical reason for me to go to England, since I want to work and establish equality system here, in our country due to common language. Why would I waste my potential by moving myself in the foreign country? This does not make any sense. And what the fuck is the Black Wall?

It was about 9pm when I returned home. I immediately started to reinstall the operating system and the production software to my MacBook with the new fast Solid State Drive. I had troubles since the install DVD did not want to run, so I googled the solution on the other computer. It is cool that internet has become the place where we get together and offer extensive supportive information to each other. And it would be even much cooler of people would self-forgive all the accepted and allowed definitions that separate us and stop producing malicious software. Why can't we overcome the addiction of emotional energy and finally start living as all as one and equal?

It was 1am and I still did not manage to install all the software. And in the morning I was to have the online chat with my SRA buddy Andrea about the mind construct. I was able to do the first Ranting and Raving step, and I needed to make the second step by braking it down to paragraphs. I am glad that at Desteni they decided to extend the Structural Resonance Alignment Training with additional 6 months of mind constructs, since I am also not very much good at it. I left the computer to continue with downloading the software over night and went to sleep. At 7am a woke up and checked for the Andrea if she is in the chat room. Since she was not there, I decided to work on my mind construct and broke it down, and then I sent the file to Andrea to check it out. I will now havet to wait for further instructions from her.

Later today I finished with installing all the software and then me and my father transported some boxes and stuff from me moving here, that I will not need soon, into the attic, and then we carried one of the sofas from the first floor to the ground floor and had a dinner together with my stepmother. I took a nap due to felling of extreme tiredness, and then continued with preparing the computer. The next step was the data synchronization between mine and father's PC computer in his workshop and then backing up data to my new external portable drive. My new SSD MacBook drive is too small to fit all the file that I have created in past 25 years of using computer professionally and privately, so the additional external drive was the only option to carry all the information on the road. Of course, I could also buy a new notebook computer, but this would be too much waste of money, since I am very satisfied with my current 14" MacBook. It is handy, light, robust, and it fits in my shoulder-bag like a slim A4-size book. I expect all the data manipulation will take time up to or maybe even past the midnight.

It would be nice to see if everyone on this world would have acces to the lates technology, and if all would live in the system where everyone is supported equally. Thus I suggest all to support Equal Money System that Desteni is presenting that will solve all our problems. And since we all need to remove everything that separates us, I suggest to begin with the Desteni I Process where you will be guided in learning tools of self-realization and removal of all energy addictions. I can say that in one year of my SRA process, I am experiencing great change in my emotional stability. For the last several weeks I also do not experience any sexual desires. I had my last sex over two months ago and I got totally fed up by it and learned how addictive can be, and how people, who clame to be in love, totally loose their minds and become possessed with self-created and projected feelings. True love can not be felt, it has to be lived within the principle of doing onto another what you want for other to do onto you. And this goes for all living being on this world, without any single exception. So I recommend all to join Desteni, since it consist of practical livable solutions that will manifest true heaven on earth.
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2011 - My first Desteni speech over, tomorrow will have the second one

Yesterday I had the first speech of sharing my experiences with Desteni, by focusing on the tool of self-forgiveness. The location was at some health spa center half un hour drive away, where I already taught Taijiquan several years ago. The initiator of the speech was me, and I took the first term available when I made an inquiry a month and a half ago. The free time-frame was from 5.00pm to 6.30pm. In spite of advertising on their web site, invitations to my friends on the FaceBook and two other trailer web sites, only two persons came to listen. This was mostly due to very early time, since most of the people are working in Slovenia to 4pm and then they need to arrive home and have lunch. But I decided to perform the speech in spite of small participation anyway and it came out great.

This was also the first time when I tested my new photo camera, who can also shoot Full HD video. I prepared the tripod and started recording my speech from the beginning since I wanted to watch, rate and improve my performance afterwards. However at the end, I was surprised that the camera has not been recording all the way to the end. I checked the user manual and noticed, that this camera can only record up to 20 minutes of video at once and the single file can not be larger that 8 gigabytes. I was not aware of this fact when I was buying the camera and this kind of limitation does not make any sense. I expected that I will be able to put the camera on the sand and let it record the whole two hours of my lecture. And now someone will have to press record button every 20 minutes and the video will have to be stitched together and it will be interrupted several time, which totally sucks. So now I am considering to buy some additional dedicated video camera or camcorder that would be more suitable for shooting long videos.

I have also decided to invest in upgrading my computer hardware. My father has two PC computers in the workshop and I have one desktop PC and one notebook MAC. My PC is much too slow for video editing, so I have edited all my vlogs so far on my MAC. Now the father wants to upgrade his PC's and needs another PC for the new workshop on the different locations. We have called computer expert who checked and evaluated the performance of all three PC's and concluded that they are sufficiently fast for the task intended and what is needed is just the system to be optimized. So we let him to execute optimizations and now they are really up to 30% faster. I plan to sell my PC to my father and buy a new computer that will be able to handle Full HD video with ease. After comparing different models and prices, I decided to go for the 27" iMac with the best performance, so that it will be able to handle my needs for at lest 6 years. And I also decided to upgrade the memory on my MacBook and swap the hard disk drive with the much faster solid state drive, since it will be my main tool for the next month and I need it to perform fast and reliable.

Tomorrow I am going to have my second speech about Desteni about tho hours of drive from my place. This time it was others who invited me to give a speech and it was one of my FaceBook friends who contacted me and ask me just two days ago. They are having periodic meetings of several people who are interested in spirituality and personal growth, thus I expect this time that many more people will come an listen to my experiences. I have also prepared a simple threefold flyer that holds short description of what Desteni stands for, the training and money projects info, my contact information and the links to my profile, blogs, vlogs and all the Desteni web sites, so the attendees will be able to take it home and share it to others who are also interested in making this world a better place.

I am glad, that people are becoming more and more thrilled about Desteni, even if some lightworker can not stand it. But the self-honesty and what is best for all are the supreme state of living on this world, so sooner or later, everyone will grasp the benefit of coming together to oneness and supporting each other equally. It is not that someone does not want this, it is just that when most of people take a sneak peek on the Desteni material, they usually get the wrong impression and emotionally react or compare Desteni to some spiritual groups or network marketing schemes and thus miss the whole point about what Desteni really stands for. There is no other way to bring the true Desteni message but to remain stable and patiently explain to everyone until they finally grasp that Desteni is the best message on this world ever and the real practical solution that will manifest true heaven on earth.
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2011 - 2010 with Shaman, Kiesha Crowthe - Lecture video review

I have watched a YouTube video recording of a speech that Shaman Kiesha Crowthe, also known as Little Grandmother, had at Santa Fe Soul in the USA in the beginning of year 2010. The video has been sliced in ten clips, and the links to the video have been published on the wall of Slovenian FaceBook group called "Tribe of Many Colors" which has been created and is moderated by the wife of my friend who we have practiced Taijiquan for many years together.

I like the way of how Native Americans lived, in harmony with nature, and in past ten years of intense research of new age scene, I have also attended several Indian camps and met some Native Americans. There is one woman about 30 years of age, that is having lectures all over the world, and is presenting herself as "the blondest, youngest, whitest wisdom keeper" with Native American roots. And this woman, Kiesha Crowthe, came also to Slovenia and held a lecture just a few kilometers away from my home. I have noticed the invitation to her lecture nearby, but decided to not come and listen her alive, since I have watched some of her YouTube videos and concluded that she is not worth of paying attention to, and I will explain now why, within this review of her lecture in USA.

In her speech, Keisha is inviting us to "remember who we are", and then she claims that "we are god, goddess, creator, the great I am, the strongest of the strong, the love and light and everything that is possible". She explains that something separated us, so we started to "live in our head" instead of "living in our hearths". We are to "stop limiting ourselves, create our word, dream our dreams and stop waiting." Her solution of how to manifest this is to "switch from the head consciousness to hearth consciousness", since "if enouth of us get together and join this hearth consciousness, it will flip".

Then, very hilariously, in spite of she being "the wisdom keeper" and is preaching "to remember who we are", had to picks some paper notes, since she does not remember them. She then explains how the "spiral symbol" has been the symbol, used in drawings of native people all over the world, how there have been many manifestations of spirals with blue light in the sky, and that the light beings, together with their families, that love us so much, are returning to earth. Then she shows the slides of some very old buildings, like pyramids on earth and on the moon, that are suppose to hold the knowledge and "the box with ancient laws for humanity".

She continues with mentioning of Nikola Tesla and Isaac Newton who have discovered how to change the weather and what time and space is, and that we are to follow the new sciences that will improve our health and produce enough energy for entire planet. She predicted the fall of powerful companies and governments, including USA, who is to loose power, and that this will actually be a blessing, since other parts of the world will then own America. Small communities will grow food, the hearth will rule. Money, government and religion will fall and this is suppose to happen without any riots, violence or war, probably by the end of year 2010.

Then she empowers the attendees by telling them "You are right just the way you are", and "If you are hearing something negative, just change the channel" and thus you will automatically change the world. We are to "Stop giving our energy to world problems" and to say each day that "everything is good and beautiful". There will be no savior, no one will save us, and the solution will come simply by following this eight steps:

Step#1: There is a higher knowing than ourselves.
Step#2: History is not the evolution of technology and production. It is the evolution of thought.
Step#3: All things are alive with energy. This energy keeps us alive.
Step#4: Energy exchange with plants.
Step#5: Step fighting to be heard or be in charge. We do not feed off their opinions of ouselves. We fill ourselves with earth energy, breathing it in and giving out energy back to mother earth.
Step#6: What do you stand for? Who do you want to be? Why are you here?
Step#7: Ways of knowing.
Step#8: Do not become addicted to other human beings. This will stop your growth!

So we are to stop taking energy from other people, since all energy necessary is outside. The highest energy is on the top of the mountains and you can fill yourself with life energy from outside. You should pay attention to your dreams, daydreams, and your higher self. If you ask the right questions, the right answers will come.

Now, this woman definitely is adorable and we all admire the native people since they lived in harmony with nature, but let us look at the practicality and common sense of the message that this Little Grandmother is bringing to the world:

While she concluded that "something separated us", that "we are the creators", as the solution to current world problems, she is only telling us to "remember who we are" and to "switch to the hearth consciousness" since when enough people will join, it will miraculously "flip". When you see or hear something negative, you should just "switch the channel". No one will save us, but there are some "light beings" with their families coming anyway, and there is already "technology" that will care for our energy needs and some "knowledge" that will tell us how to live our lives.

The bottom line is, that if you practically apply the principles that she is preaching about, you will be able to "remember who you are" simply by "trying to remember", and that you do not need to do anything to change this world, since it will automatically magically change simply by "ignoring the negative" and "focusing on the positive".

Well, I have been trying to remember, and I still do not "remember who I am". I have been projecting the love and light and focused only on the positive for many years, but the world did not change, it even got worst. So what she is saying does not bring any results and is thus illusion. What she is promoting is ignorance and she is not giving any practically effective tools to change this reality. In year 2010 nothing changed and there have been many riots and wars, and it will compound and increase even more. There is the knowledge and technology but the countries, corporations and the banking system are still powerful and it will not loose the power by itself if we do nothing about it and just "ignoring the negative" and wait for the "spirals in the sky" and some invisible "light beings".

Thus I invite everyone to research Desteni that has the common sensical explanation of how we have created this world, what exactly is what separated us, and specific and effective tools of how we can take responsibility of our creation and change it in the way that it will support all living beings equally. You are invited to join the "Desteni I Process" where you will find out how the mind-consciousness system operates, that produces thought and how if you follow those thoughts, you start to judge the reality and separate it to good/bad, beautiful/ugly, positive/negative and thus produce the energy that you call feelings and emotions. You will find out how to effectively "remember" who you are and becoming aware of your subconscious and unconscious mind by making mind constructs, and how to release all "the negative", by self-forgiving all the accepted and allowed beliefs and definitions that separate us. By applying self-corrective statements, you will align yourself with the principles of oneness and equality and thus support end practically "love" everyone as thyself. There is also an option to participate as the buddy within the "Desteni I Process" and thus earn you income.

The breathing is definitely the effective tool to ground yourself in this physical body, but it should not be used as collector for the "live energy" high up "in the mountains",  but as as the anchor to stay fully present of what is here in this moment, by being aware of your breath constantly wherever you are. You should not seek attention and praise from other people and do things just to be awarded by others and for your personal gain, but "to do what is best for all", or "to do onto another, what you would like others to do onto you", which is practical manifestation of unconditional love.

When you become aware of how we create this reality, and how each one of us is still holding this creation the way it is by our daily participation in the same mind patterns, you understand that it will take significant time in order to change this world. Everyone will have to be re-educated and aligned with the principles of equality and to become born as life from the physical. And since money is currently god and has the power to do anything, we also need to change this "god" that will equally provide for all. Thus Desteni has suggested the Equal Money System that will replace current money system and will take care for basic need of every single living being on this planet. The Equal Money System will be introduced peacefully in democratic political way, and people will vote for it in regards to simple mathematical equation 1 + 1 = 2. This is why I invite everyone that is serious about actively changing this world, to research Desteni and Equal Money System and support yourself and others by participating in the Desteni I Process that will effectively reprogram our reality and redesign it into practical livable heaven on earth.
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2011 - Alcohol and celebrations, ex-apartment prepared for takeover

The Sunday celebration of my father's 60th birthday went well. The first point that I would like to bring up is, that father awaited guest outside on a terrace with a glass of whisky. So when some guests would come, he poured them a glass, even if they said that they do not want it. This shows, how the consumptions of the alcohol became deeply rooted custom to express welcome and how some are so possessed with that idea, that they do not want to consider what other want and what is best for all, but enforce the drink onto others without using common sense. Then when all the guests sat down behind the table, my father started to pouring wine, which is again the alcoholic drink, without considering any objections. Usually when someone is the host, it acts based on subconscious patterns of the idea what fun is and what it takes for celebration to be successful, copied from others and media, and the guest endure this subtle violence. They do not stand up and refuse what is not suitable for their physical bodies since they are scared to resent to the host or hurt his feeling. And our daily lives are filled with these kind of subtle violence. So I suggest everyone to stop this and stand up for themselves and for what is best for all unconditionally, remove all the fears and understand that if somebodies feelings get hurt it is his responsibility to forgive himself the allowed and accepted believes and definitions that produce friction between his mind and reality and result in energy that we call emotions and feelings. No more emotional projection and manipulation is to be allowed if we want to sort this world out and bring heaven on earth. The harmony can only exist if everyone takes full responsibility for every single thought, feeling and emotion that is accepted in the mind.

It was the third day of fasting when I also joined the family dinner in order to celebrate my father's birthday. He also filled my glass with wine and he knew that I do not drink alcohol. But even I did not said anything to stop this. I did not drink the whisky and accepted the wine as the drink with low alcohol percentage. I wanted to experience, how this drink would influence my body after few days of fasting. Soon after I took a few sips, I experienced a great pain in the upper back region of my mouth's top. It was very strange, since I did not felt anything like that before if I had some alcohol drink. But slowly the pain dissipated, so I was ok to enjoy the rest of the dinner.

My father's new partner/stepmother was very diligent in cooking all the dishes. She prepared two types of meat, baked and fried stakes, two types of potato and two sorts of salad. I liked fried Vienna stakes, baked mashed potato and green salad the most. Since I have been only drinking water and tea for the last few days, I was wondering how eating this much of food will influence my digestion. I read that is is suggested to slowly introduce firstly juices, than fruits and finally hard food, after fasting for several days. But one is theory and other is practice, so I allowed my body do be the judge of what and how much to eat. I had four small size fried stakes and a lot of potato and some salad and then also the cake and a banana on top, and did not experience any problems while digesting all this. An hour or so, I started to feel a very warm an pleasant sensation in my belly, and I was glad that everything went ok.

From the dinner up to today my head has been stable and clear. I have been cleaning my ex-apartment every day for several hours since today afternoon is the takeover of the apartment. I wanted apartment to be in top condition when the new owners would move in. My father grumbled and asked me why am I giving myself so much trouble with cleaning, and I said that I am simply living the principle of doing on to others what you would like from other to do onto you. I also surprised myself by how hard-working have I been in cleaning all the details of the apartment so it looks almost like new now. I guess I also enjoyed very much the physical activity while cleaning, and that also assisted me in getting my head more stable. Using computer brings me too quickly in some kind of mental state where I use eyes and brains extensively while other parts of my body have to be totally still. So using computer is not very balanced activity for myself. And I also quickly get into state of unconscious judgement or envy, which then resonantly trigger the reaction of vertigo and dizziness. Thus I need to organize my life is such way that a lot of physical activities will also be part of my daily routine.
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