I have been raised up to become a good brave boy that my parents could be proud of. My mother worked as a midwife and my father was firstly a chimney sweeper, than a head of a air cleaning unit in the steel factory and then he finally started his own business. In the beginning we produced innovative products for steel industry and when recession started, we transformed into visual communications family business. With my younger brother I was helping to produce stuff and services since elementary school and we were not allowed to go out since we could end in the bad company.
During the years of working, I had to obey my father and do what he wanted me to, so I learned to suppress my emotions. This suppression started to manifest on my physical body as the itching region of the skin around my genitals. Firstly I did not know what the reason was, so I went to a doctor who prescribed the treatment with some ointment. This did not help, so I researched alternative medicine and visited several different Chinese and Ayurvedic specialist, but nothing helped. Then after years of the research and experiences, I recognized that there is nothing out there that can help me, since the cause of the problem is within me. I noticed that the pinching itching sensations manifested every time when I had certain kind of thoughts and emotional reactions. When I met Desteni in october 2009, I became familiar with the tools of self-forgiveness and advanced tools of mind constructs that supported me in defusing this emotional reactions. I have noticed, that within last year, I have gradually became more and more stable, the itching diminished extensively, and also the general skin condition improved significantly.
A few years ago I also started to experience vertigos. Several times a year I got so sudden strong vertigo with nausea that I vomited, but this lasted just one day. But a few months ago, I got I massive vertigo that diminished slowly only after one week. This happened after spending a weekend with some girl and then she returned home monday morning. I started to research what could be the cause of the vertigos. Some small vertigos also started to manifest suddenly during the day and I noticed that it appeared after certain form of thinking or mind patterns. I became very attentive about what I was thinking the moment before the vertigo appeared. Most of this small ones went away after I lied down on the sofa and took a short nap for half an hour or so. But I am noticing that I have become more and more sensitive to certain mind patterns and that I had to become more careful about what I am thinking. I could say that the physical has starting to become more and more demanding and that the tolerance level of my unequal thinking has reduced.
Now I have been researching what kind of mind patterns result in what kind of physical support and I came to the following conclusion. The support of itching is related to the mind patterns of anger, intolerance and rushing, thus also the skin developed a rash. It can also be described as the the production of hot energy that burns and disintegrates my skin. Thus I need to cool down my emotions, forgive myself and breathe effectively. And the support of vertigo is related to different kind of mind patterns, like over achiever, superiority and is linked also to emotions like envy and arrogance, wanting to become something more, higher, reaching the sky, thus my head stopped me with the vertigo in order to lower myself down to the equal level with others. The sensation when thinking this kind of mind patterns is like some kind of heavy fog or pickling and tingling feeling that compounds and expands and occupies my whole head. And when I start breathing effectively, my head becomes clear and table again.
So I need constantly to pay attention to my mind patterns and not allowing any anger or envy in order to avoid sensation of itching or vertigo and constantly breathe effectively. I am very thankful to physical for this support, since it mirrors my actions very clearly and supports me on the path to self-realization.
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21 January 2011
2011 - Got money from selling apartment, bought ticket to Desteni farm
After two days of delay, the buyer of my apartment finally wired me the money, thus my apartment definitely got a new owner. So for the past few day, I have been very busy with paying all the past bills, delayed taxes, closing bank credits, ordering passport, preparing the visa application, making flight reservation and Desteni Farm holiday booking. Today I plan to open the bank account at new bank, since I had bad experiences with my current bank, and I will have to wait only two weeks in order to get credit card, and not two months as my current bank demands. I also have to pay commission to the real estate agency and check if all the taxes are payed in accordance to our laws. By Saturday I plan to move out of apartment completely and temporary settle at my father's upper flat. I then plan to update my computer graphic design software, buy a camera and start to produce vlogs and blogs more regularly.
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17 January 2011
2011 - Considering farming in order to relieve my butt
It has been now almost one year since I started Structural Resonance Alignment Training. When it was firstly introduced, there was no detailed description of what it would include and how will the lessons be structured, so I was not able to predict how will it influence my life. I pictured it as being only a deep study and guidance on tools like self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. So I was quite surprised when we started with muscle-communication, which was totally mind-blowing and I still get amazed every time when using it. Then the mind constructs lessons started and I saw how deep and detailed analysis of our mind patterns can be. And filling response sheets with information about what our unconscious mind networks exist as was also quite a challenge. In spite of great resistance that I had with pulling out all of information, I was able to push myself and do all the homework in time, so I am quit satisfied with myself.
However it was not until six months after beginning of my SRAT study when I realized that extensive blogging and vlogging would also have to become major part of my life. It would be far more convenient for me if I could continue with my current style of life, doing my business and enjoying whatever I would like to do throughout the day. I expected that my SRAT tutor would only give me some goal-oriented assignments and when I would finish them, I would have no more obligations in regards to the process. But slowly I started to realize that Desteni process is not about executing specific assignments, but about birthing yourself as life from the physical and living the message of oneness and equality and doing what is best for all in every single breath. This means to become constantly stable inside and to direct yourself not as energy, but as the principle. Just understanding this concept is very challenging and to actually become life that stands the test of time, is an hard-to-imagine achievement.
The way how my parents raised me and influenced me, especially my father, was to obey him and do exactly what he wants and to not what he does not want. So I became used to move myself only if there was some other impulse, meaning, if other people would instruct or order me to do something. I have became obedient worker without self-will, bravely executing orders of others, and when I finished the job, I stopped moving. And I am still looking forward for someone to direct me, to give me some assignment, and if there is no impulse from outside, I became lazy.
If there is nothing specific that someone wants me to do, I go into low-esteem mode, researching, enjoying and resting. In some way, I have abdicated my self-will, so I find hard to direct myself when I am alone. In that occasions I allow my mind to move me. If I do not know what to do, I lye down on the sofa and take a nap. While resting, I start to think and then I come to idea what would be cool to do next. Then I wake up and start moving myself towards execution that idea. Most of ideas that I come up with are oriented towards research, self-realization and making this world a better place, but they do not have significant impact. The thing I enjoy the most is watching and sharing Desteni videos and other information. I like befriending people who want to discover themselves and invite them to research Desteni. But there are also stuff that I do not like as much, since they involve reading texts and removing mind-fucks.
As a DIP recruiter, I am also receiving ITD lessons so I can get acquainted with the process that ITD student are walking in order to be a proper buddy to my recruits in the future. I have noticed that the second lesson includes suggestion to blog every single day. While I have decided to blog more frequent a few months ago, the initial information about the minimum amount of blog posts for the beginners was about one post per month. That seemed to me too infrequent, so I was very surprised when I heard about daily blogging for the ITD students. As a future buddy, I wanted to be equal to the ITD students, so I read all the lessons and re-watched the suggested videos, but now I am also faced with the challenge to blog daily. While I compared myself to other Destonians from Slovenia who blogged just a few times per month, I have been very satisfied with my achievement of blogging several times per week. But now, when ITD students from Slovenia started to blog daily, I have lost my lead. Thus I will have to push myself even more to catch up with the rest of the group.
But no problem, if others can do it, I can do it also. Well it is not so hard for me to write myself out mentally, but it is the physical that is making me problems. I mean the physical pain system and the gravity are making me hard to blog. Since every blog takes from one to two hours to write, I need my body to be still in order to hit the keyboard on the screen accurately and write what I have on my mind. But after some time of not moving my physical body, the force of gravity starts to press on my skin and muscles which results in increasing pain that redirects my attention from writing. Thus I need to stop writing, move my body and then continue. Since I spend a lot of time sitting and using computer already for my business, research and entertainment need, having to blog daily means to increase the amount of time while sitting and using computer even more. So my butt suffers extremely and extensively and the nasty and painfully boils start to appear on the skin of my ass.
I see the computer as a very useful tool to communicate with lots of people regardless of their locations, and it also tool that I use to create graphic design, execute pre-press, and retouch photos as part of my business services. If I add watching videos for education and entertainments, I can conclude that I am using computer for most of my day. I have no problems with my eyes while watching for so long, it is only the buttocks that takes all the stress. So I consider changing my professional services into something that would result in more physical activities and would not include using computer. Thus owning and working on some far is a very attractive Idea. It would bring me the opportunity to ground and earth me much better and to be in touch with other living beings, since now I am mostly separated from natural environment, spending all day in my apartment. So when I return from the holidays on the Desteni farm, I will check the available options of buying a small farm somewhere in our country or joining some group that already owns and lives on the farm.
.
However it was not until six months after beginning of my SRAT study when I realized that extensive blogging and vlogging would also have to become major part of my life. It would be far more convenient for me if I could continue with my current style of life, doing my business and enjoying whatever I would like to do throughout the day. I expected that my SRAT tutor would only give me some goal-oriented assignments and when I would finish them, I would have no more obligations in regards to the process. But slowly I started to realize that Desteni process is not about executing specific assignments, but about birthing yourself as life from the physical and living the message of oneness and equality and doing what is best for all in every single breath. This means to become constantly stable inside and to direct yourself not as energy, but as the principle. Just understanding this concept is very challenging and to actually become life that stands the test of time, is an hard-to-imagine achievement.
The way how my parents raised me and influenced me, especially my father, was to obey him and do exactly what he wants and to not what he does not want. So I became used to move myself only if there was some other impulse, meaning, if other people would instruct or order me to do something. I have became obedient worker without self-will, bravely executing orders of others, and when I finished the job, I stopped moving. And I am still looking forward for someone to direct me, to give me some assignment, and if there is no impulse from outside, I became lazy.
If there is nothing specific that someone wants me to do, I go into low-esteem mode, researching, enjoying and resting. In some way, I have abdicated my self-will, so I find hard to direct myself when I am alone. In that occasions I allow my mind to move me. If I do not know what to do, I lye down on the sofa and take a nap. While resting, I start to think and then I come to idea what would be cool to do next. Then I wake up and start moving myself towards execution that idea. Most of ideas that I come up with are oriented towards research, self-realization and making this world a better place, but they do not have significant impact. The thing I enjoy the most is watching and sharing Desteni videos and other information. I like befriending people who want to discover themselves and invite them to research Desteni. But there are also stuff that I do not like as much, since they involve reading texts and removing mind-fucks.
As a DIP recruiter, I am also receiving ITD lessons so I can get acquainted with the process that ITD student are walking in order to be a proper buddy to my recruits in the future. I have noticed that the second lesson includes suggestion to blog every single day. While I have decided to blog more frequent a few months ago, the initial information about the minimum amount of blog posts for the beginners was about one post per month. That seemed to me too infrequent, so I was very surprised when I heard about daily blogging for the ITD students. As a future buddy, I wanted to be equal to the ITD students, so I read all the lessons and re-watched the suggested videos, but now I am also faced with the challenge to blog daily. While I compared myself to other Destonians from Slovenia who blogged just a few times per month, I have been very satisfied with my achievement of blogging several times per week. But now, when ITD students from Slovenia started to blog daily, I have lost my lead. Thus I will have to push myself even more to catch up with the rest of the group.
But no problem, if others can do it, I can do it also. Well it is not so hard for me to write myself out mentally, but it is the physical that is making me problems. I mean the physical pain system and the gravity are making me hard to blog. Since every blog takes from one to two hours to write, I need my body to be still in order to hit the keyboard on the screen accurately and write what I have on my mind. But after some time of not moving my physical body, the force of gravity starts to press on my skin and muscles which results in increasing pain that redirects my attention from writing. Thus I need to stop writing, move my body and then continue. Since I spend a lot of time sitting and using computer already for my business, research and entertainment need, having to blog daily means to increase the amount of time while sitting and using computer even more. So my butt suffers extremely and extensively and the nasty and painfully boils start to appear on the skin of my ass.
I see the computer as a very useful tool to communicate with lots of people regardless of their locations, and it also tool that I use to create graphic design, execute pre-press, and retouch photos as part of my business services. If I add watching videos for education and entertainments, I can conclude that I am using computer for most of my day. I have no problems with my eyes while watching for so long, it is only the buttocks that takes all the stress. So I consider changing my professional services into something that would result in more physical activities and would not include using computer. Thus owning and working on some far is a very attractive Idea. It would bring me the opportunity to ground and earth me much better and to be in touch with other living beings, since now I am mostly separated from natural environment, spending all day in my apartment. So when I return from the holidays on the Desteni farm, I will check the available options of buying a small farm somewhere in our country or joining some group that already owns and lives on the farm.
.
15 January 2011
2011 - Zeitgeist Moving Forward - Movie review
Today was the world premiere of the third Zeitgeist movie titled "Moving Forward". I reserved the ticket a few weeks ago, since I am in touch and following the activities of the Zeitgeist Movement in Slovenia. The screening took place in several major town in our country, and I went to Kranj, which is closest town to my place. The movie started at 6pm and it was over 2,5 hour long. I went to watch the movie with expectations, like the title suggested, that Zeitgeist had moved forward, made some new steps, so I wanted to see what new solutions would bring the movie in order to manifest the idea of moneyless society and round cities with resource-based economy.
The movie started with some explanation that addictions and violence are not genetically caused, but are the result of social environment. Interviews with several experts were part of the movie in order to underline every conclusion. Then the part of how money is currently created and all the related frauds have been pictured. The atmosphere became more and more intense with the introduction of dramatic music and scenes that predicted mass riots. Then the music changed in touchingly guitar solo and the clips of solution in form of resource based society and sustainable round cities was introduced. This part was so touching that I had to push myself and breathe very deep and fast in order not to cry because of joyful feelings.
There was some part in the movie that pointed equality as the crucial factor in gaining peoples satisfaction and prosperity. Some talk was also in regards to forgiveness and that it should be not used, but I did not understood everything that was said due to very small subtitles. And also feelings and emotions have been mentions, since the lack of money is not the cause of the stress, but the bad feeling because of not having it. However the role of equality point and power of feelings and emotions was not presented as the major factor. And only the physical brain has been presented as origin of human behavior, totally disregarding non-physical dimensions.
The whole planet has been presented purely as the location of human resources, on hand purely for the exploitation of the human kind. There was no mentioning of the rest of the species, like animals and plants, focusing only on the metals and minerals as the building elements for the devices that will bring us pleasure. The robotic automation and computers were praised as the solution to relieve humans from unwanted jobs. The produced goods would be build at highest quality standards to last as long as possible. And the purpose and joy of the humans is suppose to be in creating things.
At the end was the breaking point where pressure compounded and the human crowd and the police force were to face and hit each other. Then some man from the office called the chief of police and then it took of his helmet and dropped it on the floor. And on the side of the civilians, some businessman threw his suitcase full of money in the air so it smashed on the floor, broke open and the money fell on the ground. Then slowly the rest of the crowd followed and they all trashed their bags of money, as they realized that they do not need it anymore, and all became very blissful and joyful.
So this are all the major points of the movie that remained in my memory. I can say that the movie was a great disappointed, since I expected to hear about some new and practical solution about how to fix this world. It was a disgrace that animals and plants have been totally ignored as being, not worth of inclusion in the equality equation. The movie gave the man all the right to exploit the whole planet just for his own pleasure, introducing sustainable economy not from the point of accepting every living being as one and equal, but as the superior and dominant species, worth of ruling this planet. No actions were to be made in order to remove human ego, and the responsibility of individuals for their thought, feelings and emotions was not taken into consideration.
The idea of the introduction of the resource based economy was based on the imagination of human as species coming from outer space to this planet, that was not yet inhabited. We were to look at the whole planet and see the similarity between the ecosystem and the connectedness of the internal organs of human body, thus we were to treat the planet as a whole balanced system. And the idea of ending all problems of this world was based on the spontaneous moment, when we would all collectively miraculously come at the same time to enlightenment and realization that we do not need the money anymore, would get rid of it in a single moment, and then we would live happily ever after.
I saw no actual difference between this movie and the previous ones. The same points were propagated as before, only the script was a bit different, more structured and clear. So Zeitgeist is Moving Forward, by staying on the same spot. No actual practical solutions how to make the transition from current money system to no money system. No deep understanding of how mind-conscious system is enslaving and possessing us by producing thoughts, feelings and emotions, and no realization about how each of us is responsible for everything that we allow and accept and that there is no other solutions but self-forgiveness. Zeitgeist has the vision, but their vision is the continuation of human elitism end technological superiority, without understanding of all the point and dimensions that exist and create this reality.
However I introduced myself to the girl who was a head of the screening and I asked her if there will be any discussion afterward. She told me, that it will take place in two weeks and all the Zeitgeist members from Slovenia that would like to contribute, will be invited. I gave her my contacts and said that I would like to introduce the solutions of Desteni, but I do not know it they will actually want to hear, since I already shared information to some of the members, but they did not express much interest yet. But she told me, that every suggestion is welcome and that she is totally open for anyone who has got some useful idea. So I plan to share Desteni solutions at the group discussion, and maybe I will meet her even before the meeting and explain her my experiences face to face.
The movie started with some explanation that addictions and violence are not genetically caused, but are the result of social environment. Interviews with several experts were part of the movie in order to underline every conclusion. Then the part of how money is currently created and all the related frauds have been pictured. The atmosphere became more and more intense with the introduction of dramatic music and scenes that predicted mass riots. Then the music changed in touchingly guitar solo and the clips of solution in form of resource based society and sustainable round cities was introduced. This part was so touching that I had to push myself and breathe very deep and fast in order not to cry because of joyful feelings.
There was some part in the movie that pointed equality as the crucial factor in gaining peoples satisfaction and prosperity. Some talk was also in regards to forgiveness and that it should be not used, but I did not understood everything that was said due to very small subtitles. And also feelings and emotions have been mentions, since the lack of money is not the cause of the stress, but the bad feeling because of not having it. However the role of equality point and power of feelings and emotions was not presented as the major factor. And only the physical brain has been presented as origin of human behavior, totally disregarding non-physical dimensions.
The whole planet has been presented purely as the location of human resources, on hand purely for the exploitation of the human kind. There was no mentioning of the rest of the species, like animals and plants, focusing only on the metals and minerals as the building elements for the devices that will bring us pleasure. The robotic automation and computers were praised as the solution to relieve humans from unwanted jobs. The produced goods would be build at highest quality standards to last as long as possible. And the purpose and joy of the humans is suppose to be in creating things.
At the end was the breaking point where pressure compounded and the human crowd and the police force were to face and hit each other. Then some man from the office called the chief of police and then it took of his helmet and dropped it on the floor. And on the side of the civilians, some businessman threw his suitcase full of money in the air so it smashed on the floor, broke open and the money fell on the ground. Then slowly the rest of the crowd followed and they all trashed their bags of money, as they realized that they do not need it anymore, and all became very blissful and joyful.
So this are all the major points of the movie that remained in my memory. I can say that the movie was a great disappointed, since I expected to hear about some new and practical solution about how to fix this world. It was a disgrace that animals and plants have been totally ignored as being, not worth of inclusion in the equality equation. The movie gave the man all the right to exploit the whole planet just for his own pleasure, introducing sustainable economy not from the point of accepting every living being as one and equal, but as the superior and dominant species, worth of ruling this planet. No actions were to be made in order to remove human ego, and the responsibility of individuals for their thought, feelings and emotions was not taken into consideration.
The idea of the introduction of the resource based economy was based on the imagination of human as species coming from outer space to this planet, that was not yet inhabited. We were to look at the whole planet and see the similarity between the ecosystem and the connectedness of the internal organs of human body, thus we were to treat the planet as a whole balanced system. And the idea of ending all problems of this world was based on the spontaneous moment, when we would all collectively miraculously come at the same time to enlightenment and realization that we do not need the money anymore, would get rid of it in a single moment, and then we would live happily ever after.
I saw no actual difference between this movie and the previous ones. The same points were propagated as before, only the script was a bit different, more structured and clear. So Zeitgeist is Moving Forward, by staying on the same spot. No actual practical solutions how to make the transition from current money system to no money system. No deep understanding of how mind-conscious system is enslaving and possessing us by producing thoughts, feelings and emotions, and no realization about how each of us is responsible for everything that we allow and accept and that there is no other solutions but self-forgiveness. Zeitgeist has the vision, but their vision is the continuation of human elitism end technological superiority, without understanding of all the point and dimensions that exist and create this reality.
However I introduced myself to the girl who was a head of the screening and I asked her if there will be any discussion afterward. She told me, that it will take place in two weeks and all the Zeitgeist members from Slovenia that would like to contribute, will be invited. I gave her my contacts and said that I would like to introduce the solutions of Desteni, but I do not know it they will actually want to hear, since I already shared information to some of the members, but they did not express much interest yet. But she told me, that every suggestion is welcome and that she is totally open for anyone who has got some useful idea. So I plan to share Desteni solutions at the group discussion, and maybe I will meet her even before the meeting and explain her my experiences face to face.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a feeling of superiority while introducing Desteni to the girl, chief of screening, instead of realizing that she is equal to me, and that Desteni message needs to be lived by not allowing any energetic possession.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry and then suppress this feeling while listening to some illusional claims in the Zeitgeist movie and thus manifesting itching on the skin, instead of realizing that I need to stop all judgements, breathe effectively, listen without any emotional reactions and then communicate the solutions that are best for all with complete inner stability as life.
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12 January 2011
2011 - Contract closed, climbed the hill, researched sexual intimacy
Today I went to real estate agency and signed a contract with the couple who decided to buy my apartment. All went well and I should receive money to my bank account next Monday. Thus I have pushed the preparations for holidays on the Desteni farm and visited travel agency who also organized travel to South African football world cup a few months ago and got all the information what steps will I need to take.
Firstly I went to photographer that took the pictures for the documents. Then I went to local administrative unit and ordered the making of passport since I do not have one yet and it will take about one week to receive it. Then I wil need to bring the passport to the travel agency and the agency will sent it, together with the written invitation from the farm and my financial information, to the South African Embassy in Vienna. The embassy will check my information, print the visa in the passport and send back the passport in about 10 days period. Meanwhile I need to book the plain tickets since they are cheaper if you book them as soon as possible. If everything will go well, on 10. February 2011 I will be on my plane to the other side of the globe.
While I was busy with the formalities, my girlfriend has been staying alone at my apartment. When I returned back, she has been again all over me and we went all the way. We had a long sex while she was on the top all the time, and I let her do all the moving. I wanted to know how she experiences it, what she is feeling, but she told me not to disturb her, since she wants to focus on the feeling. It is interesting that usually she talks all the time, but now she was not willing to share any information. I enjoyed very much but I also wanted to understand what she feels, since I also explained her yesterday how I experience sex and what kind of touch is for me pleasant and which is unpleasant. So far she only explained that she is usually experiencing several small orgasms and after she gets the big one, she is not in the mood to continue anymore. I found this information interesting, since as I read about woman's orgasm, that they are able to experience it sequential one after another without desire to stop at some point. So this has been something new to me.
Then we got out and climbed the local hill and the girl complained how her legs are all soft and rubber like. But we managed to reach the peak successfully and had a nice cup of tea at the farm of Mrs Milka. It was already pretty dark while we were heading down the hill. Since my father called me to immediately come to his office and do some small project on the computer, we stopped bye at his place and I introduced him with my girlfriend. After I finished the job, we went home, had shower and I had something to eat. Then she went to bed and I finally got some peaceful time in order to watch the new daily Desteni videos and start writing this blog.
In regards to this girl visiting me, I noticed that I had trouble with finding the sufficient time to do all the stuff that I usually do when I am alone. She constantly needs my attention, touches, caresses and kisses me all the time and talks and makes questions non-stop, even if I watch some video. She explained how she desires touching, since she has been divorced for may years, her son has already grown up and does not allow her to hug him anymore, so the way she compensated her feeling of loneliness in recent time was by frequently hugging her teddy-bear. No wonder why she is so lustful, since now I have become her bear and I am much more appropriate to cuttle and beyond. Tomorrow we are going to start packing stuff to move myself out and I am looking forward to the experience of this joined project.
Spending time with this girl has been a opportunity to put myself on the test. While she physically moved and talked, I was careful about any of my emotional reactions. I pushed myself to breathe effectively and remain here, not to have any expectations and tried to communicate with her effectively. I can not say that I had none reactions whatsoever, but still I am satisfied that I have become much stable than like a was few months ago. The Desteni tools of self-forgiveness and Structural Resonance Alignment Training has definitely improved my emotional stability extensively and I expect to go even further by walking my process in the future.
.
Firstly I went to photographer that took the pictures for the documents. Then I went to local administrative unit and ordered the making of passport since I do not have one yet and it will take about one week to receive it. Then I wil need to bring the passport to the travel agency and the agency will sent it, together with the written invitation from the farm and my financial information, to the South African Embassy in Vienna. The embassy will check my information, print the visa in the passport and send back the passport in about 10 days period. Meanwhile I need to book the plain tickets since they are cheaper if you book them as soon as possible. If everything will go well, on 10. February 2011 I will be on my plane to the other side of the globe.
While I was busy with the formalities, my girlfriend has been staying alone at my apartment. When I returned back, she has been again all over me and we went all the way. We had a long sex while she was on the top all the time, and I let her do all the moving. I wanted to know how she experiences it, what she is feeling, but she told me not to disturb her, since she wants to focus on the feeling. It is interesting that usually she talks all the time, but now she was not willing to share any information. I enjoyed very much but I also wanted to understand what she feels, since I also explained her yesterday how I experience sex and what kind of touch is for me pleasant and which is unpleasant. So far she only explained that she is usually experiencing several small orgasms and after she gets the big one, she is not in the mood to continue anymore. I found this information interesting, since as I read about woman's orgasm, that they are able to experience it sequential one after another without desire to stop at some point. So this has been something new to me.
Then we got out and climbed the local hill and the girl complained how her legs are all soft and rubber like. But we managed to reach the peak successfully and had a nice cup of tea at the farm of Mrs Milka. It was already pretty dark while we were heading down the hill. Since my father called me to immediately come to his office and do some small project on the computer, we stopped bye at his place and I introduced him with my girlfriend. After I finished the job, we went home, had shower and I had something to eat. Then she went to bed and I finally got some peaceful time in order to watch the new daily Desteni videos and start writing this blog.
In regards to this girl visiting me, I noticed that I had trouble with finding the sufficient time to do all the stuff that I usually do when I am alone. She constantly needs my attention, touches, caresses and kisses me all the time and talks and makes questions non-stop, even if I watch some video. She explained how she desires touching, since she has been divorced for may years, her son has already grown up and does not allow her to hug him anymore, so the way she compensated her feeling of loneliness in recent time was by frequently hugging her teddy-bear. No wonder why she is so lustful, since now I have become her bear and I am much more appropriate to cuttle and beyond. Tomorrow we are going to start packing stuff to move myself out and I am looking forward to the experience of this joined project.
Spending time with this girl has been a opportunity to put myself on the test. While she physically moved and talked, I was careful about any of my emotional reactions. I pushed myself to breathe effectively and remain here, not to have any expectations and tried to communicate with her effectively. I can not say that I had none reactions whatsoever, but still I am satisfied that I have become much stable than like a was few months ago. The Desteni tools of self-forgiveness and Structural Resonance Alignment Training has definitely improved my emotional stability extensively and I expect to go even further by walking my process in the future.
.
11 January 2011
2011 - Sold apartment, girlfriend visited, holidays at Desteni farm
I have found a buyer for my new apartment after only three weeks of advertising. Some young couple has came to look at apartment past Sunday and tomorrow we are to sign a contract, so I will be out of my apartment by the end of January. I am satisfied with the price we agreed upon and in following days I will be busy with packing and moving out. Until I find a new apartment in Ljubljana, I will be staying at my fathers place for a while.
Since I will get quite a lot of money from selling the apartment, I will be able to pay all my debts and invest in new projects. I have considered to use this opportunity also to visit the Desteni farm for one month of SRA mandatory practical training. I have sent the mail to the farm, but got the answer that visit to the farm is no longer mandatory in order to complete SRA training, and the only way to visit the far from now on is to buy a holidays on the farm. I have decided to go to the farm anyway in order to get the practical experience and to meet all the people on the farm in flesh.
I have also contacted Ministry for Foreign Affairs of our Republic of Slovenia and asked what I need in order to travel to South Africa. They said that I will need a visa and that I have to contact South African Embassy in Berlin. I have wrote an email to embassy in Berlin but they replied that I need to contact the embassy in Vienna. I have forwarded the email to the address that Berlin embassy gave but the mail has been refused since the user is over quota. I have also checked the link to the web site to the embassy in Vienna and the URL had only default content of the domain host. I have reported to Berlin embassy that infos of Vienna embassy is not valid and I am expecting come valid answer.
Today I also got a visit from a girl that visited me about three weeks ago and has been calling and me and sending me SMS messages almost every day since then. She is quite "in love" or should I say obsessed with me, and we became intimate just a few moments after she came to my place. It was cool al this hugging and kissing and the body warmth, but it also disrupted my usual daily rhythm, since I am used to live alone. She just could not have enough of me, thus I had problems concentrating to the things that I planned to do for today. So I started the conversation to express my expectations and wishes in order to get done everything what I planned to do. She also came for the reason of helping me to pack and move out of the apartment, so I am glad that she came bye.
But since the girl has been all over me, I saw the need of coming to an agreement of how our relationship is going to be. In the past weeks she has become very familiar with the fact that I am walking the Desteni process of self-realization and I invited her also to start writing blog. She started to write journal three weeks ago in order to bring it for me to read and support her with effective self-forgiveness. But since she has forgotten to bring the journal, I have suggested her to write several pages while she is staying at my place so I can show her how to benefit from writing herself to freedom. Thus while I am now typing this blog post, she is busy writing her stuff manually to the notebook. Now I am going to check her writing and give her some directions and then we are going to bed, since she is very tired.
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Since I will get quite a lot of money from selling the apartment, I will be able to pay all my debts and invest in new projects. I have considered to use this opportunity also to visit the Desteni farm for one month of SRA mandatory practical training. I have sent the mail to the farm, but got the answer that visit to the farm is no longer mandatory in order to complete SRA training, and the only way to visit the far from now on is to buy a holidays on the farm. I have decided to go to the farm anyway in order to get the practical experience and to meet all the people on the farm in flesh.
I have also contacted Ministry for Foreign Affairs of our Republic of Slovenia and asked what I need in order to travel to South Africa. They said that I will need a visa and that I have to contact South African Embassy in Berlin. I have wrote an email to embassy in Berlin but they replied that I need to contact the embassy in Vienna. I have forwarded the email to the address that Berlin embassy gave but the mail has been refused since the user is over quota. I have also checked the link to the web site to the embassy in Vienna and the URL had only default content of the domain host. I have reported to Berlin embassy that infos of Vienna embassy is not valid and I am expecting come valid answer.
Today I also got a visit from a girl that visited me about three weeks ago and has been calling and me and sending me SMS messages almost every day since then. She is quite "in love" or should I say obsessed with me, and we became intimate just a few moments after she came to my place. It was cool al this hugging and kissing and the body warmth, but it also disrupted my usual daily rhythm, since I am used to live alone. She just could not have enough of me, thus I had problems concentrating to the things that I planned to do for today. So I started the conversation to express my expectations and wishes in order to get done everything what I planned to do. She also came for the reason of helping me to pack and move out of the apartment, so I am glad that she came bye.
But since the girl has been all over me, I saw the need of coming to an agreement of how our relationship is going to be. In the past weeks she has become very familiar with the fact that I am walking the Desteni process of self-realization and I invited her also to start writing blog. She started to write journal three weeks ago in order to bring it for me to read and support her with effective self-forgiveness. But since she has forgotten to bring the journal, I have suggested her to write several pages while she is staying at my place so I can show her how to benefit from writing herself to freedom. Thus while I am now typing this blog post, she is busy writing her stuff manually to the notebook. Now I am going to check her writing and give her some directions and then we are going to bed, since she is very tired.
.
06 January 2011
2011 - Sound Money - The gold standard is not the solution
I have watched some very interesting videos today that speak about money and current world economic crisis. Stansberry & Associates Research Institute released a very controversial presentation video that in very great detail explains how USA is slowly but surely drifting into hyperinflation. The starting point of the video is to gain subscribers for the institute reports that promise very useful and practical information about how to protect your assets and even get profit from the incoming money collapse. One of the suggestions is to buy as many gold and silver, however they talk also about something, called "The worlds most valuble asset in the time of crisis" that is far more valuable than precious metals and that also the elite is investing in this asset. They have correctly predicted already the 2008 crisis and they offer three months of no-questions-asked money-back guarantee for the yearly subscriptions that is very affordable. I have become very curious what this "Worlds most valuble asset in the time of crisis" is, but my credit card is currently blocked, so I can not check this out. Maybe some other of you guys could check and report back.
The other awesome video that I watched is titled The Rise of Sound Money. In this video some guy shortly explains how money was and is currently created and why is the current money system not healthy. This lecture is one of the rare ones that goes beyond idea of returning to the gold standard, since if everyone would start buying silver or gold, the world would very quickly run out of it, and that the bankers have already bought all the available gold, so this idea has no common sense. I have checked the YouTube channel where video has been uploaded to, and discovered the web sites Stop The Robbery, The End All Disease and World Hemp Revolution. There is also the FaceBook page StopTheRobbery - Accelerating Human Evolution and then I also searched and found out that the name of the guy is Mark David. I invited him to become my friends and he immediately confirmed. Then I sent him a message with the short description of Desteni and the links to web sites and suggested him to research and share the information. He replied that he is very glad of making this kind of connections and that he will take a look. He is currently preparing the video where he will "drop the full equation of what he believes to be the most efficient manner to change our world into an everyday paradise and that he will include a proposition directly the Rockefeller family, Rothschilds, Morgan's, and any other families who are part of the NWO plan as well." So I am looking forward for the release of the video with his proposition.
The bottom line is that I have also been considering to buy the gold and silver with the money from selling my apartment. From the economic perspective and based on predictions that the price of this two metals will skyrocket, I could make a small fortune by that. But this way I would become one of those who care only for self-interest and would also contribute to the increase of the price and shortage of the metals that are practically needed to produce electronic components. This is certainly not the solution that is best for all. Basing money on the value of gold and silver can not solve the problems of this world. If the value of things is relative to rarity, meaning that the things that are in less quantity have the highest value, and the things that are in abundance are the cheapest, this is still the system that perpetuates greed, scarcity and destroys life. We need to change our principles and create the system that would support life at all costs. Thus the life is what must be appreciated the most, the life has to have the highest value. Things have to be valued parallel to the level of how they support life. And this is what Equal Money System is all about. Thus I suggest everyone to research it and contribute the ideas of how this life-supportive system can be practically manifested within the legal and political boundaries of each of our countries.
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The other awesome video that I watched is titled The Rise of Sound Money. In this video some guy shortly explains how money was and is currently created and why is the current money system not healthy. This lecture is one of the rare ones that goes beyond idea of returning to the gold standard, since if everyone would start buying silver or gold, the world would very quickly run out of it, and that the bankers have already bought all the available gold, so this idea has no common sense. I have checked the YouTube channel where video has been uploaded to, and discovered the web sites Stop The Robbery, The End All Disease and World Hemp Revolution. There is also the FaceBook page StopTheRobbery - Accelerating Human Evolution and then I also searched and found out that the name of the guy is Mark David. I invited him to become my friends and he immediately confirmed. Then I sent him a message with the short description of Desteni and the links to web sites and suggested him to research and share the information. He replied that he is very glad of making this kind of connections and that he will take a look. He is currently preparing the video where he will "drop the full equation of what he believes to be the most efficient manner to change our world into an everyday paradise and that he will include a proposition directly the Rockefeller family, Rothschilds, Morgan's, and any other families who are part of the NWO plan as well." So I am looking forward for the release of the video with his proposition.
The bottom line is that I have also been considering to buy the gold and silver with the money from selling my apartment. From the economic perspective and based on predictions that the price of this two metals will skyrocket, I could make a small fortune by that. But this way I would become one of those who care only for self-interest and would also contribute to the increase of the price and shortage of the metals that are practically needed to produce electronic components. This is certainly not the solution that is best for all. Basing money on the value of gold and silver can not solve the problems of this world. If the value of things is relative to rarity, meaning that the things that are in less quantity have the highest value, and the things that are in abundance are the cheapest, this is still the system that perpetuates greed, scarcity and destroys life. We need to change our principles and create the system that would support life at all costs. Thus the life is what must be appreciated the most, the life has to have the highest value. Things have to be valued parallel to the level of how they support life. And this is what Equal Money System is all about. Thus I suggest everyone to research it and contribute the ideas of how this life-supportive system can be practically manifested within the legal and political boundaries of each of our countries.
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