While creating my blogs and vlogs in the Desteni process of self-realization in order to bringing all of my subconscious mind patterns here by writing and transcending them with process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, I have also mentioned my father several times as the main influencer in my life. We are writing blogs and shooting vlogs and publishing them publicly from several reasons:
- The first reason is to make possible for others to read our posts and support and direct us as one and equal in order to successfully defuse the mind-consciousness system that distract our attentions from what is here by constant production of thoughts and consequently emotions and feeling.
- The second reason is to support others by showing publicly how to becoming the living example of self-honesty and self-directive principle as one and equal with life and do what is best for all in order to end all the abuse in this world once and for all.
We take care not to use personal names, since the process is not about pointing fingers and blaming others, but taking self-responsibility for our thoughts and feelings. However we still need to use some word to describe others in order to picture our relations and the intensity of influence, so we use words like 'father', 'mother', 'brother', 'sister', 'best friend', 'girlfriend' etc. in order to keep the maximum level of anonymity and still securing the understanding of the relationships. Total anonymity can never be achieved since everyone who we describe in our blogs and vlogs can be recognised by themselves or by others who know them. So some might react to the description of how we experience their behaviour.
One of them was my father, who did not like how I described my past experiences with him. He does not care about my process and does not follow my blogs and vlogs, however, others who know him have reported him the blogs and vlogs who describe him and expressed deep concern about my actions. Since my father is a quite well known public figure, and has experienced my posts about him as harmful and damaging, he insisted me to remove the blogs and vlogs that describe him, not to use the word 'father' any more and to write public apology in order to avoid the consequences of my actions. I have removed the word 'father' end certain blogs and post from the public and this is my self-forgiveness in order to make peace with him:
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard my father's desire to be presented in only nice and acceptable way, since he needs to keep the certain public image in order to be successful in his business.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate with the decision to secure myself additional source of income instead of pushing only my latest counselling services to the level of getting in quite deep debt.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create division between me and my father since I judged his emotional reactions instead of accepting and directing him as one and equal with me.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect from my parents unconditional support just because I am their child, instead of accepting them as one and equal and being grateful for everything that they have offered me.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved only by money, working just to get money and stopping the movement when I had enough money, instead of moving myself constantly breath by breath as life and direct myself towards what is best for all.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely to my parents to save me whenever I would be in the financial trouble, and thus allowing myself to get into debt and feeling safe by expecting that they would help me also this time as they have done so many times before.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not accept everyone as one and equal to myself and trying to present myself as someone more intelligent and more perfect and thus criticising them, their lives and their jobs, instead of focusing on myself and clearing my emotional reactions.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I can help others without helping myself first, since I can not direct others as one and equal to myself effectively until I remove all my energetic movements.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to the energy and to be moved only by energy instead of realising that as long as I allow to be moved by thought, feelings and emotions, I am a robot, a zombie, separate from the life and abusing life for my self-gratification, instead of becoming one with the physical and be here in every moment of evey breath, free from all the past.