- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give up living in this world due to extensive corruption, financial crisis and natural disasters that I have been exposed extensively by observing news and participating in certain groups, instead of realizing that this is just a portion of events going in this world and that there is also many things worth living for.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to feel pity for myself, expecting for others to take care for me so I could just safely enjoy life and self-expression, instead of realizing that we are all equal living beings and that we can live here only if we take self-responsibility for our lives and also support others equally, thus firstly we need to become totally self-honest and then change the world system until the proper support is there for all live without fear of survival.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the desire of not wanting to participate in current money system, earn money and become wealthy, instead of realizing that we can only change this system if we firstly accept it, become one and equal with it and earn a lot of money to have enough power and influence for necessary political actions that will remove the need for competition, war and starvation.
15 February 2012
2012 Changing friends and business opportunities for best effect
A lot of things happened in past several weeks in my life. I quit friendship with some friend that I supported extensively in past months due to his fight with his father and being without job and money. I allowed him to spend many nights on my couch, gave him the information and books on how he can improve his life and change his thinking and behavior patterns, and I also lent him one of my notebook computers for many occasions. However he almost never fulfilled his promises about when he will come to appointment with me and he procrastinated with bringing my computer back for weeks. Since he did not want to change and take responsibility for his actions, I decided to end relationship with him completely.
I demanded from him to return the book, computer and the bag that borrowed him and I insisted until I got all things back in one single day. The book was extensively worn off, the computer power adapter was broken, computer slightly damaged the bag torn, and I had to push him hard to get all these things back. And after that he became very spiteful, accusing me for creating damage to him, demanding to remove all the photos from Equality Store that he volunteered as a model for caps and hats, or he would charge me a lot of money in spite of me designing and printing his business cards for free. Thus I learned that assisting those who have intense spiteful and irresponsible behavior patterns is futile.
However in past weeks I also created many new friendships with enthusiastic people who want to take responsibility for their lives and are doing many project to improve the society. By these people I have been exposed to some very perspective business opportunity with potential of bringing me a very high residual income in next months or years. It is about a product that has in past three years made more profit than Amway with 50 years of tradition and is coming now to Europe. Official launch in our country will be only in three months, but we have already begun with pre-launch and network building activities. I expect that this business will bring me enough money for not having to worry every month about covering large fixed expenses so I will have time to support world equality projects more extensively.
Thus just after six months of purchasing all new video and studio photo equipment I decided to sell it all for the second time. I could of course continue offering photography services, but I got tired of transporting all the equipment, spending hours alert and catching all the importnat moments with camera and then sitting days in front of computer, retouching hundreds of photos. I will keep only camera body, some lenses, flash and tripod and all the studio equipment must go. This way I will make more space and investment money for my new business that I expect to be more lucrative and will be best also for future implementation of world equality system due to creating connection to much larger number of people in our country.
It is a tuff decision and by selling almost new equipment, I will again loose a lot of money, but I expect this to pay off in a long term and that this is a decision that is best for all. For many years my decisions are not any more about what is best for me or my good feelings, but how I can apply myself to change myself and the world system in order to guarantee a dignified life for all. Thus personal sacrifices have to be done in order to break from own limitations and change oneself and the money system. Many people see my decisions as act of indecisiveness, but they see only what is going on the outside and do not see my final goal, large picture and global agenda that I am involved with.
Last weekend I went with my new friends to Vienna with a bus. We were on a VIP meeting in regards to new business and I met there very successful people, many of whom were millionaires. Even two days before, where I was introduced to this business, I felt slight nausea and vertigo that increased on Saturday event in Austria to the level where I would vomit three times on the bus back. I spent the whole Sunday in bed and it took another two days before I would be almost perfectly fine. I wondered what would be the reason for my reaction and connect this to my subconscious mind patterns of perfectionism and criticism in regards to money, wealth, selling and rich people.