2011 - Bulding self-trust

Within communication with other I have been noticing how my self-trust has increased by speaking to others in self-honesty and within principle of what is best for all. I am paying attention to my thoughts and I stop them whenever I notice them, and do not accept any justifications about what they are good for. I focus on my breath, and if thoughts are too strong, I speak out self-forgiveness and massage my physical body in order to ground myself and return to what is here. I keep explaining people how emotional reactions have only destructive consequences in spite of general believe that emotions are important component in our lives. People try to convince me that I am cold, since I do not allow subconscious emotional reactions, instead of they realising that they are the ones who are in fact not able to live here and support all life equally due to theirs mind end emotional possessions that is manifestation of separation from what is actually here.

In the past a lot of subconscious fear emerged due to my allowed and accepted believes that I need to behave nicely and do what others say and disregard the consequences of my actions in the perspective of totality of existence, but now I have started to take more and more self-responsibility for my actions and not allowing myself to do anything that results in harming other living beings that live with me in this reality. I am careful that my actions are not based on my self-interest, but on what is best for all. Being the administrator of the FaceBook group that I created a few weeks ago is a great test for me where I constantly have to be careful not to act from the point of being something more, but to treat others as one and equal and direct them towards self-realisation by introducing them with practical functional tools that Desteni presented, especially the online training, called 'Desteni I Process'.

I experience myself that I am taking more and more control of my conscious mind, but there is still a lot to do. I sometimes experience subtle subconscious and unconscious emotional reactions that manifest as itching on the skin. So I do not fool myself by allowing the believe that I have purified myself totally, since I have in fact hardly begun to scratch the surface of my mind. Ego is great master of self-deception, but I do allow him to posses me anymore. I stop all my self-interest and do onto others as I would like others to do onto me. I stared to give more in order in order to receive more. I plan and invest into projects that are supporting world equality, especially the 'Equal Money System' that will practically manifest heaven on earth. I do all my Desteni I Process assignment, write at least one supportive blog per week and many more blogs and vlogs, in order to support myself in the process of self-realisation more effectively. It is all about self, since self is that creates reality, thus reality will improve with aligning of self with the principle of equality and what is best for all. I stop all energy possessions, I birth myself as life from the psychical and support others as one and equal till eternity.
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2011 - Moving forward, slowly but effectively

For the past four days I felt extremely physically tired. The weather changed and the cold, cloudy and rainy days have started to influence my mood. While in the clear, warm and sunny weather I do not feel like lying in the bed during the day, I had no problems with extended resting and sleeping in past several days. I am living very comfortable life now, at the top apartment of my father's house, I have my own kitchen, separate bathroom and living room with computer, so I practically do not need to leave the apartment in order to work, because it is all related to internet. Since I also have a laptop computer, I sometimes wake up, grab the computer, answer messages and write Desteni I Process blogs without even standing up from the bed. And when I feel like taking a break, I simply close the computer and take a nap. So it can already be noon and I am still in the bed. And this does not mean that I have done no work, it is just that I even do not need to leave my bed in order to do the work.

Of course this kind of life is just temporary, since I will move to Ljubljana as soon as I find appropriate place to live and do my business. And I also plan to stop working alone, as a freelancer, but to employ at least one person. For the past 10 years I have worked alone because I perceived that employing someone would be too much struggle for me due to constant need of providing enough work that would bring sufficient income to pay off the salary to the employees. While living and working alone in my own apartment, I had a very little monthly costs, so I practically did not pay even the minimum salary for myself. If I would employ someone, the minimum salary with all the taxes would be so big that I would have to increase my income for at least 4 times in order to pay the worker.

But now I have different agenda. I have sold my apartment so I have enough money to invest in projects that will make this world permanently a better place for everyone. I have started to follow the words 'Give and you shall receive' and I am investing all my money into changing this system into Equal Money System that will provide equally for all living beings. I am starting a new licensed business of creating and selling Desteni promotional accessories and I expect that this business will return my investment many times in couple of years. Thus I plan to rent a house where there will be enough space to live and do the business and I plan to hire at least one person to assist me with this job. I search for company who will be able to create excellent online shop to sell the products worldwide and I will invite the best graphic designers to contribute their artworks for Desteni merchandising products.

So in the future I will change my focus from jobs where I had to do all the creative and computer relate work, into managing in organising the projects and let other people to do the finalisation of project details. I will also continue to work as and Desteni I Process recruiter that will also bring me large additional income in several years. And I will start writing a book 'What photography will be in an Equal Money System', as Bernard suggested. In order to write this book, I plan to do research and interviews with many people, involved in photography business in order to get the feedback of how photography has been influenced by money in past years and to picture out how it will change when fear of survival will be removed when equality system will be in place. And since I have purchased a professional video camera, as addition to this book, I consider to also produce a full documentary about the photography business. So many projects ahead that will keep me and many other people busy for many years.

Currently I am also testing different approaches of how to introduce as many people as possible with Desteni message and invite them to participate in Desteni I Process. For this purposes I created a FaceBook group 'Praktično ustvarjanje raja na zemlji' (Creating heaven on earth practically), and I invited many people to join the group by posting invitation to their wall. The number of group members started to grow very fast, but then I noticed that some have started to emotionally react to posted Desteni material and left the group. These were mostly older people and the lightworkers, so I learned only to invite younger people in this group, who have not too many pretty pictures in their profiles. And I have wrote a detailed and strict descriptions of the rules of participation in the group in order to be clear what to expect and how to behave in the group. Now only serious people join, and there is no more emotional comments.

In addition to inviting people to the group by sending direct messages and making new friends, I also started to test the effectiveness of FaceBook ads. I created an ad for the group and I cover the costs of advertisement with my credit cart. I choose the ad to be displayed in profiles of people age from 18 to 40 years, who are funs of spiritual and self-realisation books, movies and pages like 'The Secret' and what not. I choose the option of paying per click and selected minimum price of 0,2 € per click and I set the daily budge to 10 €. Now the ad campaign has been running for one week, with average of 100.000 impressions and 70 clicks per day. And the result of this is that about 10 people per day joined the group. So the cost is about 1 € per one new group member which I consider to be very effective investment. So I invite others to also create similar groups and invest in new members in order to attract recruits for the Desteni I Process life coaching program.
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2011 - How to give an effective support

Within my Deseni process of self-realization, I have been given different kind of support by different people. As part of Desteni I Process life coaching program, one is firstly introduced with basic principles of self-realization like Self-Honestly, Self-Directive Principle, What Is Best For All, Common Sense, mathematical equation 1+1=2, and basic tools like Breathing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application. In next stage of Desteni I Process, one is given more advanced tools, like Mind Constructs and Muscle Communication. And as part of the process, one is requested to have a FaceBook profile, blog and YouTube channel using your real name. The process of blogging and vlogging is a very effective self-supportive tool in order to be able to slow down your thoughts, see your mind-patterns, and remove all your accepted and allowed believes, blames, justifications, projections, manipulations and judgements. These are all the information that, when becoming allowed and accepted into you, prevent you from being able to be here and to accept this reality in every moment of your breath, without triggering any subconscious emotions or feelings.

Within the process, we are supporting each other by following each other's blogs, vlogs, social profiles, forum posts and chats. The ones, who are involved in Desteni I Process, we have our buddies, who are responsible for directing us in order to effectively correct ourselves. When necessary, one is also given a specific support in terms of private videos and direct chats from Bernard, and if one comes to visit Desteni farm in South Africa, one is given even stronger and direct support in order to break as many damaging subconscious patterns as possible. But above all, one is expected to as soon as possible to fully become self-directive in terms what is best for all and to become a constant self-support, since eventually one needs to release dependancy on support from others and unconditionally stand as one and equal to all life.

When receiving support in form of others commenting my blogs posts and blogs, I have appreciated some support as valid and very supportive, and I have experienced some support as not valid an not useful at all. Some have started to comment as soon as they started the process and were not familiar with terminology and had not yet reached sufficient level of self-realisation on order to become a valid supporter, and have just tried to fit into Desteni and become accepted. I was one of them, so I then slowed down with commenting and started to focus more on my own process. Then I have also received a support from Destonians who were in process for many years, and perceived themselves as the ones who walk the talk and are unchallenged authority. They have expressed their perspective about how they perceive me and tried to expose me as someone with agendas of self-interest and not valid to be a member of Desteni group.

I have followed the process of those people throughout past year period and have noticed, that they follow their established patterns of communication and that they do not change. These are Destonians who want to be perfect, just, valid, and protectors of Desteni and all what Desteni stands for. They are producing large quantity of blogs and blogs and are active on formus and do extensive commenting. However in spite of what they are writing and saying, with extensive integration of Desteni vocabulary, I have perceived their support as not valid or effective. I see them as extensively integrating Desteni knowledge and information in their minds, but not actually realised it and integrated it into the physical. I see those people as ones who allow themselves to follow someone's process, and then emotionally react on specific words and information that they stumble upon.

These reactions are very subtle, and are related to unconscious mind patterns of wanting to be perfect, self-judgement and wanting to be a part of the group. These people thus make a great effort to present themselves in the group as valid participants by commenting and reporting others to the leaders of the group in order to impress them. They hold onto very highs standards of self-perfection and are thus very judgmental towards others. Their support is thus from an unconscious starting point of blame and criticism, without they realising this fact for themselves. They perceive their support as valid, and became in time very impatient and angry due to perception that one that they have given the support to does not want to change, instead of realising that they themselves are the one who need to change.

One needs to realise, that you are not able to see one who he really is as totality without firstly totally realising yourself. While you are in the process, you can only perceive others from the perspective of your current level of self-realisation. Thus, those that claim themselves to see others as what they really are, while they are still waking the process, is a clear self-deception. You can try to see others, but in the moment when you try to judge others and claim righteousness, you have in fact fallen. From the perspective of totality of existence, the truth is that no one is completely realised until every single being in existence has become self-realised, and this is what in fact means that we are all equal end one.

So if you want to give the support to others in order to speed-up their process of self-realisation, you have to firstly become one and equal with that person and give support as you would like to receive it if you were in that person's shoes. That means that you have to grasp this person as totality of what he has accepted and became and give the support in a way that he will be capable of accepting and integrating it and to functionally increase his level of self-realisation. So understand that if you give support to someone and this person did not change, this is in fact the indicator that you support was not valid, that you have not became one and equal with this person before giving him the support, that you have supported him from starting point of being someone more, using only knowledge and information, thus you need to take you responsibility, forgive and correct yourself.

This goes for all that have been in the Desteni process for many years, including the ones who have established themselves as leaders. So it is a great art to support others effectively and not allowing yourself and kind of subtle projected impatience, blame or judgement. So let the level of change at people who you have supported to be the indicator of the effectiveness of your support. Do not try to project your failure onto others, but correct your approach and walk the process with others as one and equal.
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2011 - Backchat 24. March 2011

This is the example of writing out the back-chat, which are voices or thoughts in ones head, as support to stop the constant uncontrolled self-chat that distracts us from what is really here. The text will be used to develop the Back-Chat phase of Desteni I Process, it has been checked by my buddy and suggested to be published on Demonology web site and here in my blog as support for others.

I see that it is almost two weeks after I returned from Desteni farm, and I have not uploaded any vlog. I think: “What will Bernard think of me? Will he become angry with me? Will he start to disregard me? Will he ban me? Will he think that I am a lost case?” I do not want to make any moves that will result in banning me from Desteni. My intentions of bringing a better world are serious and I see Desteni as organization that has the best practical solutions for making this true, so I would like to stay at Desteni for good.

I feel to have so less capacity at participating in the process, comparing to others. I see how many blog posts and vlogs do other Destonians produce daily, and I am afraid that others would think that I am lazy, that I do nothing, that I do not participate in the process. There is resistance for doing mind constructs and self-forgiveness, but it is not about the process itself. I am willing to do self-forgiveness all day long, but there are so many other things to do.

I see that today is 24. March. I have checked the mail and I see that we are suppose to do and send mind construct and self-forgiveness for the second influential person by 21. March, so I am already three days behind. What will Andrea think of me? Why did she not send me a remainder already? Does she trust me? Did she check the muscle communication and established that it is not necessary to send me a reminder? Or did she forget since she is busy preparing the backchat course. But I see that 28. March is the deadline for this assignment to be done, so there is still four days left.

I procrastinated at doing the memories until yesterday, when I decided to write memories the whole day. I went out in the forest and took the laptop with me. I wanted to test out if I can slow time down by my physical movement, because when I am at home, time goes by so quick. I remember Bernard telling me, while I was on the farm, something about time. Like that time on the farm is moving slowly. So how does he do that? What is time anyway? How come that we perceive time sometimes to pass slowly and sometimes faster? Is this really valid? Does one really do much more work if you have the perception of time moving slowly? Or is this only the perception? Common sense would say that one could do the same amount of work, regardless of the perception of time moving slowly or faster.

What to do next? I decided to continue with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements today, since I want to finish assignment in time. Yesterday I tested if writing mind constructs in nature would be easier. I imagined how the environment in the woods would inspire me to write more, but when I arrived there, I did not feel any difference. I still experienced the same pain on my butt after sitting on the floor for some time. This damn gravity! I want to focus on writing and finish assignment, but this damn pain is distracting my attention. But I guess this is the part of this reality. When writing, I am in my mind, I disregard the physical, but the physical needs to move constantly, otherwise the gravity destroys the physical.

This reminds me on cats, especially cats on Desteni farm, specifically the white and black cat, which can express it so extensively. Well cats are different. They have the fur and are thus protected from elements, they are smaller and can move quicker, jump, go through holes, windows, and elsewhere. Humans are much bigger. We also feed cats, but we need to feed ourselves. No one is preparing food for us. And we are not able to catch and eat raw food, like cats for example who can catch birds and mouse and eat them. We need to grow and prepare food, and that needs a lot of land, planning, storing, cooking, and washing dishes. Man are we humans complicated. I wish I would be a cat. So nice life they have. They just enjoy themselves, sleep, eat, walk around and let humans to caress them. But I can do nothing about it. I am as human now and I need to accept this.

Do cats think? How can they think if they do not use words to communicate? Bernard told me, that all living being have now the same structure of the mind. Previously animals had collective souls and only humans had individual souls, but now even plants are suppose to have the same mind-consciousness system. But what does this mean? Do now even plants think? How is that possible? I feel so baffled about this. And then there is this self-responsibility point and awareness and unconscious mind. What is awareness anyway? What makes you be aware, what is to be awake and what is to sleep? What is reality? Bernard says that the physical is reality. But what is the physical? Is the physical still real when you sleep? Where do you go when you sleep? I mean, how can you define what is real, if the physical can only exist in relation to human physical body senses?

And what are the resonances, what are the dimensions? Are dimensions real or not? Are dimensions parts of the physical or not? If we are here as the physical real, are then dimensions not real, since they are not here as the physical, and we cannot see or hear them? I real is only what you can touch, smell, see, then the dimensions are not real! What is the difference between the mind fantasy and the dimensions? What if dimensions is in fact the mind? What is difference between the mind and dimensions? What is heaven? Does heaven still exist? How is it possible that dimensions have been cleared? Too many questions. There are answers, but what does these answers mean for living here practically in the physical.

I have met some interesting people online. Some girl who Sunette recommended to ask her for a friendship on FaceBook. She is from Slovenia and had a lot of Destonian friends. She looks very attractive to me, the girl of my dreams. Cute face, long blond hair, the dream come true. So I immediately wrote her. I want to know her, ask her to be my partner, marry her, have kids, live happily forever after, you know, the usual stuff, lol. But how she responded surprised me beyond my imagination. She said that she is part of the group who observe Desteni Slovenia group from the beginning, but they did not want to join since they saw that we are fighting for leadership position and do not advance in our process.

They have some kid, about 14 years old who can see auras. He checked auras of all of us, and saw that Sunette does not have any aura, the same as he, of course. He saw that I am making progress, and that visit to the Desteni farm resulted me in loosing aura in the middle of my spine. I became baffled and surprised about this phenomena. They invited me to meet them this Saturday in Ljubljana. They will share their perspective and tools that they use for their own process. I wanted to get together with this girl alone, but she said that they are working as a group and that it is best to meet the whole group, about five of them. This will be very exciting.

And I also met some new girl, who asked me for a friendship on the FaceBook. She said that I have made my appearance everywhere she looked on the FaceBook, and that she had to contact me. We met in person a few days ago. She sent me some picture via mail before, and she was tall, slim, and I replied her that she is quite cute. But when I saw her in person, the first thought that crossed my mind was: “She is ugly.” I mean WTF! Who triggered this reaction. The fucking mind-consciousness system! She had some spot on the face, slim teethe, she smokes and thus her breath was disgusting to me. But she was very advanced in her process, emotionally stable, became very excited about Desteni, and we connected very well. We also had online chat and we discussed the possibility of getting together, what would be the result of our synergy.

But I would prefer the blond girl. Even if she saves her hair eventually, she is so much cuter. I mean, she is even deep in her process, and understands all about Desteni clearly. But what is relationship anyway. Sex is such a small part of life. The primary goal is now for all of us to collaborate and establish the equality system. And then only will we be able to enjoy heaven on earth. Right? Or do we enjoy ourselves already now? Do we allow ourselves to waste time for pleasure while millions suffer pain and starve to death? Or not?
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2011 - How disaster in Japan influenced me

When earthquake hit Japan a few weeks ago, a lot of production facilities were destroyed, and also the nuclear reactor got damaged extensively. A radioactive dust has escaped in the air and a few days ago, some sources reported that radioactive cloud is about to cross Slovenia country in Europe, and it was advised to stay inside the houses, wash clothes after you return from walking outside, and avoid eating vegetables from local area that were freshly picked.

Today I went to photo store to buy some photo accessories that I needed for to execute some ordered photo project, and I wanted to buy a studio flash units. The guy at the store told me, that there is a new model of flash, but it will be available not until fall. This is so because the flash factory that is located in Italy is using imported parts of electronic from Japan and they are now having troubles delivering the parts due to earthquake. The only option for me to get the flash units was to order the old model and in would be delivered in period of one week.

So this are just a few examples how events from another side of this planet influenced me. These are just a few examples of how we are all globally connected and interdependent, which makes us all equally responsible for everything that is going on in this world. The point here is that production of certain goods has become so narrowly localized, that some goods are produced only in few regions in this world, and if something happens in that region, we all get screwed. So why is this so, and how can we change this to enable better safety and independence from disasters around the world?

Currently every single decision in this world is influenced by money. So for example the nuclear power plant was build since the nuclear energy was cheaper, and it was build in the area which is known to be very earthquake active and in was thus deliberate decision to endanger the people only because of the profit. And the power plant was not build in in the way to withstand earthquakes in order so save money, so it collapsed when the force of nature stroke. The electronic parts of the studio flash head were also produce in Japan due to cheap labour force there, and transported all over the oceans only because of money. 

Since current money system drives us all towards stupid decision that eventually harm others and bring a lot of problems, like long delivery dates and pollution due to long transport routes, we need to stop this madness. And this is the reason why Desteni developed a solution of Equal Money System that will stop our unreasonable actions due to greed and profit. When Equal Money will be introduces, production facilities will be equally distributed all over the world in order to shorten the distribution routes. And the ways of producing energy will be picked based on the nature of the environment in each part of world, so it will create as little damaging impact on environment as possible and protect all living being equally. So support the peaceful democratic political introduction of Equal Money System as the necessary healing correction of our current global economic system.
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2011 - Walking process alone vs. walking in the group

There are many ways of self-realization in this world. We all experience many things in daily life which assist us at realization how we function and how this world functions. We act and we see the results of our action. The speed of self-realization process depends of how one is dedicated to research the depths of self and world system. Throughout history there have been some people that reached very high level of self-realization and there are also some in the current time period. Each one had different background, unique experiences and environment that enabled him high speed of understanding which action leads to which consequence. But why were there only so little self-realized people, and why were they not able to influence the world in the way to stop the violence and destruction of fellow beings and this planet?

We all know the story of some guy by name Jesus Christ, who brought the suggestion of doing onto other what you would like others to do onto you, of loving your neighbor as thyself, but why is this message still not lived practically in this world? He was not aware of complete design of human mind and what is need to fee yourself from influence of unconscious thoughts, and his message has been used and abused in order for some individuals to gain great wealth and high social position, while totally ignoring the practical living of what Jesus has taught. The whole religious system, with new age spirituality has become nothing but a bunch of beautiful words, nice emotional feelings, expectations of some magical savior and beliefs about perfect life after death. It is basically not supporting the individual to gain self-realization, but offers only promises of enlightenment and ascension, while in facts contributes for individual to become more and more trapped in the mind.

After 10 years of research and experience of world religions and other paths of self-realization, I have not been able to find any group or source of information that would honestly and in detail provide information about why is the world the way it is, how have I become the way I am, and what is the solution for all to live in harmony on this magnificent planet, until one and half year ago, when I met Desteni. It is the collection of information and tools where I have experience the absolute level of honesty and functionality to remove everything that has been eating me from within, and is also contains the solution to fix the world economic system that is driving us towards destruction of living beings and resources. The tools of Desteni have helped me to become more emotional stable and aware of what is really here in every moment of my breath. It also supported me to realize the big picture and how I am equally responsible for everything that is going on in this world. Desteni learned on mistakes of self-realized beings in the past and is making sure to improve the approach in order to guarantee the success.

Ok so you might now say: “Cool, I am happy for you, but I decided to walk my process on my own. The path of self-realization is not important, since eventually we will all get to the finish.” Well, really? All you have is this life, this physical body that will be no more when you die. How do you know with certainty what will happen to you at the time of death? Will you be able to reincarnate and continue with you process of self-realization in your next life? Will you not forget the same way as you did when you were born in this body? So better than guessing is to walk this life with the maximum effect and use the most effective tools. Thus I suggest you to research Desteni and experience the effectiveness of its tools that you will receive throughout the Desteni I Process life-coaching program. And even if you walk your own path and become self-realized, enlightened, what then?

Understand that we are all one and that no one can become self-realized until we are all self-realized. Each of us is a part of existence, and each of us is co-creating this existence. So you will not be able to live here and enjoy yourself until beings will exist that will want to harm you or exploit you. Heaven on earth can be practically manifested only if we support and respect each other equally. So when you become self-realized, you will not be able to bear the view on fellow being who suffer. You will try to help them in order for them also to become self-realized. And this is exactly the reason why Desteni was established. You as individual do not have any significant power to change this world. Only if you connect with people who have the same goal and all walk as one, then there is a chance of success. So of you are serious at changing the world, the best way to do that is to join the group of Destonians, who are people from all over the world who walk as based on the principle of what is best for all, common sense and mathematical equation 1+1=2. Support you self-realization by walking the Desteni I Process and support the peaceful political democratic introduction of Equal Money System that represents the first step of providing dignified life for all living beings on this planet. Join us. Together we can do it!
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2011 - Landmark Education / Forum - a Destonian perspective

In my previous blog I have described how I have been introduced with the information about Landmark Forum, which is a flagship course from Landmark Education global company. While we were waiting for Zeitgeist meeting to start on past Saturday, I noticed one girl at the bar of tea shop and asked her if she is also waiting for the start of the Zeitgeist meeting. She answered that she is preparing herself to give a three hour basic presentation of Landmark Forum to couple of people in the next room. I asked her if she can shortly describe what the course is about and she described it as life coaching program to free yourself from limitations of the mind and to transform and gain control of your life. I told her that I am involved in the course with similar effect and that I would like to know more about Landmark Forum. She offered to give our group a basic presentation in the following days, and I gave her my leaflet with information about Desteni, to check out what Desteni I Process is about and share her perspective about differences between both courses.

Later after Zeitgeist meeting started, one of participants shared that he also passed the Landmark Forum course and that he benefited greatly. I started to read his blog one year ago and firstly had impression that he started blogging as part of Desteni course, but after I commented and shared my perspective about what is emotional energy and the difference between life and energy, he told me to stop commenting, since he writes his blog to express his own opinions and is not interested in Desteni. Now he came to Zeitgeist meeting and was the most influential talker, since he talked all the time and the words were flowing from his mouth fluidly and constantly. He perceived himself as free from the mind, and spoke about how he can go within in the space, where he is able to feel connected with everything, where he can experience oneness.

Yesterday I decided to check the Landmark Forum by myself and found their web site on the internet. I watched the introduction videos and read the description of the course. Video clip of one lecture for example share the story about someone who stumbled upon the group of people who were doing stone work. After he asked some depressed guys what they were doing, they answered: "We are chipping stones". And then he asked some guy who was very cheerful the same question and got the answer: "I am building a cathedral". This was to be an example of how our happiness is not based of what we physically do in this world, but is linked to our ability of seeing the different context of what we are doing. So we are suppose to be able to live happily in every moment simply by changing the definition of what we are doing to fit some acceptable context.

Now one has to understand that there are many ways of becoming successful and happy. Books like The Secret explain some concepts, and the world is full of courses that explain how this world system works and how everyone can earn a lot of money and fulfill its desires by following certain rules. Also the whole new age spiritual movement is based on creating a happy and successful person, together with all religions, gurus, enlightened and ascended masters, angels and love and light message. It is all about building a consciousness where you create yourself a world of bliss and nice feeling as the ultimate goal that one can achieve. The message is that you do not need to care about others, that you are responsible only for yourself and that you only need to enjoy and allow others who suffer enough time for them to eventually come to the same ultimate realization.

However in spite of the cool looks of this types of solutions, they are in fact the ultimate deceptions. None of this paths is able to bring the awareness of how the reality operates and that we are all equally responsible for everything that we accept and allow in every single moment. The mind is a smokescreen where you are able to sell you self-responsibility and receive the energy of good feelings in return. In represent the tool of separation where you are able to live in you separate self-created reality and become the god in your imaginary existence. It gives you the impression of success, while in reality you are destroying your true physical self and this physical world that is the only true and universal reality. This is why in spite of all numerous spiritual teachings and self-empowerment programs, the level of poverty and physical violence is increasing and the whole world is being destroyed with the speed as never before.

I have met a guy recently with son who can in fact see auras. There is much deception about what aura is and most of devices that can read your aura is deception. While spirituality is defining the aura as emanation of life-force energy, is is in fact the emanation of mind-consciousness system. The mind is a trap, and the one with the most intensive aura is in not enlightened and freed, but trapped in the most subtle and invisible jail ever conceived. They have also researched the effect of the Landmark Forum course and concluded that it is the way of programming you in order to stay trapped in the mind for good. You become a better abuser and self-deceiver, receive a big rewards from the world economic system, while at the same time you allow others to have less and less, until they eventually die from hunger.

So I warn you to go away from all kind of self-empowerment programs, that do not care about all the living beings in this world. You will eventually not be able to live with yourself if you allow anyone in existence to have too little, while you have too much. Research the Desteni I Process life coaching program that is the only education in this world that cares about what is best for all. You will find out about actual blueprint of the mind and receive the effective functional tools to discover and remove all the accepted and allowed definitions, believes and ideals that separate us from each other. Desteni is the only organization that came up with the solution to fix also our greedy economic system with suggestion of Equal Money System. So if you are serious about bringing a better world, research the Desteni solutions, stand up for life as one and equal, begin true activism by blogging and vlogging and thus becoming the real change that you have been waiting for.
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2011 - Group of Slovenian people with a kid who can see aura

Yesterday was extremely fascinating day with two very interesting meetings. I departure from my home at 7:30 and at 7:50 picked up a new female friend at Kranj city. We then continued highway to the second largest Slovenian city Maribor, where there was suppose to star a meeting of Zeitgeist Slovenia group at 10:00 at Adam & Eve healing tea shop. One day back I also sent the invitation to all active members of Desteni Slovenia, since most of them live in or near Maribor city. I suggested for us to have the meeting at the same place at 12:00, since they wanted to hear my story about holidays at Desteni farm, but Blaž replied that he would also like to come to Zeitgeist meeting. We arrived a bit early, around 9:40, so I called Blaž if he needs any assistance to find the place. He said that there is no need, and that Vitan will pick him up, and that also Barbara and Ajda will come. So the time was 10:00, there was six of us there and one guy, who wanted to meet the Zeitgeist people for the first time, but no one from Zeitgeist leader came, thus we decided to start a chat.

At about 10:30 three guys from Zeitgeist arrived, and I already knew one of them. His name was Andrej, he is also from Kranj, the student of medicine, and his whole family is also involved in medicine. I introduced him with Desteni one year ago, he also writes a blog, but did not want to align his process with Desteni terminology. Since he was familiar with Desteni approach, he suggested a discussion where we would share our realization to contribute towards some solution for this world. Since there was also some girl in the tea shop, who prepared the presentation of the Landmark Forum education, he explained that he also greatly benefited from this education and that it assisted him to completely free himself from the mind. We discussed his perception, trying to establish if that was the fact, but due different terminology, that was not very easy. So we rather focused of developing the Zeitgeist project and how to include Desteni solutions. One of Zeitgeist members suggested the screening of Zeitgeist movie in the schools as the powerful presentation of world problems, and in the second part, Desteni I Process and Equal Money System would be presented as practical solution to fix those problems.

I had a next meeting at capital city Ljubljana at 16:00, and also Blaž and Barbara wanted to join, so we departure from Maribor at 14:00. In Ljubljana we met a group of new people and they invited us to have a peaceful chat in small gym of local elementary school, since they are having occasional recreation there. They were about 30 to 40 years old, one girl and three guys. I befriended girl Urša on the FaceBook a week ago, based on suggestion from Sunette. I noticed that she had a lot of Destonian friends already, and I became very excited about new Destonian from Slovenia. But when I send her a welcome message, she told me that she is part of the group who follow the Desteni Slovenia group from beginning, but they are walking the process on their own. She told me, that they are having a boy who is able to see aura, and that this is a reference point for them to get a feedback if they are successful in their process.

The oldest guy among them is also a leader and is supporting them occasionally with deliberate anger to shake them, similar to Bernard. The child that can se aura is in fact his son, that is now about 14 years old. He was a gym coach, and after he divorced, the aura of his son cracked and disappeared due to immense shock and thus he became able to see the aura of living beings and also objects. He then started to report his father that we are all robots, so basically he was able to see all the systems. Together they started to research and test what is the meaning of colors in the aura and what aura is. The son did not agree with the new age picture presentation and explanations of the meaning of chakras, positioned vertically and colored from red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and white as the path to ascension. Thus they developed a symbolic horizontal chart of characters of people, each one equal, but with different characteristics or nature, based on the color of their aura.

For example he explained that black aura is typical for the people who suck energy from others like vampires, and that a lot of those are among school teachers, so they come to school basically to drain children from their life energy. The orange color is typical for the women, who want to attract males with their physical appearance, so basically the whores. The green aura is typical for the people who doe not have a clue, what is going on, like a grown up version of children. Blue aura is typical for politicians and company leaders, who exploit others for their own benefit. The red aura is indication of awareness, where you become angry about the corrupt system. The white aura is typical for the ones who meditate and gurus, but this stage is very delicate, since you can get trapped in the mind. The final step is transparent aura or no aura.

They have checked thousands of people in this world, from politicians, gurus, and discovered that many are fakers and that most of religions and groups exist not for benefit of all, but only for personal and financial benefit of the leaders. Few years ago someone forwarded them a YouTube video with Sunette. When the son saw the video, he freaked out and screamed that this girl is dead! When father asked him, he explained that her aura is transparent, the same as the ghosts of dead people who visit him at night. But after his father explained that this girl is still alive, the son said that she is speaking pure truth on the videos. So this made them become interested in Desteni as the only point discovered, worth of trust in this world. And the other guy who does not have any aura is Michael Tsarion and they gave me the DVD of his movie titled The Architects Of Control that reveals the secret mass manipulation of the human mind.

But this meeting was also to give me the feedback. They showed me the printed photos from my FaceBook profile from different time periods. On the videos that I made one year ago, my aura was blue, this means that I was not living the words that I was talking. At the time before my visit to farm Desteni, my aura has been the color of red, and after I returned from the farm, already the half of my aura was missing. This is how they proved themselves that the Desteni tools of self-realization actually have effect, and that visit to the farm was also very beneficial for me. So the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application are the main difference that will able to bring a great change to the masses.

The father however does not use the tool of self-forgiveness, since he is able to correct himself in a breath. This is due his extensive training in sports, where he used the tool of breathing to decrease his pulse. After he watched the Desteni video Self-Forgiveness as life, he immediately start to apply it. So when a point comes up, he skips the self-forgiveness and immediately utilizes self-corrective application. And he does that without the need of writing.

But what shocked the father later was discovering of fact, that his son is lying to him. Currently his son is in puberty and he became interested in girls. Father heard from someone that his son was in certain company in the city, but when the son returned home, and father asked him if he was with specific person, he denied. Since father knew that his son with transparent aura is lying to him, he went ballistic, and his son ran away and changed aura to red, as it should be. The son knew somehow how to remove all the colors of his aura in a kind of mechanic way, so it was not really valid. The son thus now decided to walk the process the way it should be, from the point of his true current realization.

What is interesting is the fact that loosing aura in not in fact the ultimate enlightenment. Aura represents only the conscious level of the mind. Father noticed that even after loosing the aura, he still emotionally reacted in some occasions, thus no aura is not the final thing. After loosing aura, there is the process of removing also the subconscious and unconscious level of the mind. This is why the process takes about 7 to 20 years, as predicted by Desteni. And then we also need to change the world economic system, with the introduction of Equal Money System. A long way is ahead of us, so let as many people as possible join Desteni and benefit from Desteni I Process which is definitely the most effective program for self-realization currently in the whole planet, now cross referenced also with help of boy from Slovenia who can really see the true auras of being and objects.
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2011 - Running out of time for doing all the things that I plan

My experience at Desteni farm while I was staying there was that a day is very long, and I had a lot of time to do many things. Well in fact I was there on holidays, the internet was slow, and I focused on my process and resting. From beginning the days passed slowly, but towards the end, I had perception that days go bye very quickly. And there were a lot of people and animals and a large space to move around.

Now when I returned, I am back in the upper apartment at my father's house, rooms and surrounding area seems so small, I am alone and I have to make decisions, make plans and execute it all by myself. I have here a fast internet, new computer and software, and many things to do. And there is also father who wants me to do designs for his clients occasionally. I constantly do something, a day goes bye so quickly, but I have perception that I have done nothing, that I am not moving anywhere. These are some of many things that I can do:

Daily errands:
- checking and answering new Gmail messages
- checking and answering new FaceBook messages
- checking new Twitter feeds and interesting links
- checking Desteni Slovenia open forum
- checking Desteni open forum
- checking Desteni subscription forum
- checking Desteni private forum
- checking Desteni money forum
- checking Desteni DIP forum
- checking Desteni demons forum
- checking Desteni YouTube channels
- watching, liking, commenting and sharing new Desteni video
- liking Destonian blogs and vlog
- inviting 16 new people to follow my blog
- watching and commenting interesting Destonian blog and vlogs
- writing blogs
- writing backchats
- shooting vlogs
- doing Desteni I Process assignments
- preparing food, eating, washing dishes
- shaving, taking shower
- shitting, pissing
- responding to FaceBook chat request
- commenting on several FaceBook groups
- asking potential people for FaceBook friendship
- BREATHING

Occasional errands:
- participating at Desteni chats twice a week
- washing and ironing laundry once a week
- visiting grandmother once a week
- meeting with new people several times a week
- doing photo and design work for my father
- visiting fairs and lectures

Current errands:
- learning how to use new iMac hardware and OS
- learning how to use new Adobe Creative Suite software
- organizing things from moving into father's apartment
- searching for new apartment in Ljubljana
- informing myself how to best run business in Ljubljana
- translating Equal Money Book
- applying for psychology study
- doing extra White Light mind construct
- developing Desteni accessories business
- dating/searching for partner/agreement/wife
- considering establishing my own farm

Lately I gave priority to research new computer and software, especially video editing software, I like very much sharing new Desteni videos and communicating with my FaceBook friend and sharing relevant Desteni links, I make sure to do all my Desteni I Process assignments, I regularly follow Desteni Subscription forum and watch all unlisted videos, I also started to participate in private chats and do some blogs. But I am short of time for producing vlogs and participating on forums. I feel a bit confused and uncertain due to plan of moving to Ljubljana and starting business and additional study there. I have to decide where to move, to how large apartment, how much do I want to pay, will I be living there alone, or will I be able to find some partner to move in together. Every day I meet new people, additional potentials are created and I have to decide about everything all over again. I want to be as effective as possible, do my process, support others and also support myself financially. So if someone has I magic formula, how to slow down the time, please let me know.
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2011 - Dream about innocence, unconscious mind and self-responsibility

I had a dream tonight, about 5am, a night mare I can say, where I have been fighting the concept of innocence, conscious and unconscious mind and self-responsibility. I remember Sunette to be in the dream, and also Bernard. While I was lying on my bad and having this dream, I noticed how a vertigo started to emerge in my head and then I experienced a great urge to go to toilet. Despite my head spinning a bit, I managed to reach the toilet where I took a shit and piss. I did not experience any urge to vomit as usual when I experience vertigo. When I returned to my room, I drank some water. Then I went to bed and the temperature of my body increased and I started to sweat heavily. Again I experienced a great urge to take a shit, even greater than before, so I ran to toilet and a lot of shit came out of me and I was surprised that I still had so much shit in me. While taking a shit, this time a strong nausea also appeared, and I experienced immediate strong urge to vomit. So I immediately turned over, without having time to wipe my shitty ass, and emptied my stomach. It was mostly water that I drank before, but anyway. After that I felt pretty relieved and I went back to bed while still experiencing vertigo. Slowly the temperature of my body dropped and my head stabilized. Then I had a dream with some girl on the farm. We were in the mountains, where there were some caves with crystal clear water and very small, but deep lakes, and we were jumping in the water with a small dog and were diving naked and I observed the water surface from deep below the water. I slept till about 8am and then took a shower, since my head became stable enough to walk. While returning to my room I met Bernard and then I explained him the concept of my dream in the kitchen. He and Sunette commented on my experience and Bernard suggested me to write the dream and correct it in terms of taking self-responsibility, as he has done the same many times in regards to his dreams. Now to details of first and main dream.

Within dream I faced the memories where Bernard spoke with me, a few times with very strong energy, and introduced me to the perspective of myself that was mind-blowing. The first thing was that I was not allowed to us the lack of memory as excuse for what I have done in the past. And that included my past lives also on other planets. Then there were memories of points where Bernard, Sunette and other handled the physical pain and interpretations of the system that cause that pain. Observing these events made me think that there are dimensions of reality that I am unable to see, however they are suppose to be the manifestations of my subconscious and unconscious creation. So in the dream, I fought with these objectives where I was to take responsibility for something that I can not understand and see consciously. My justification was that I may be held responsible only for actions that are manifestations of my conscious mind, and not subconscious and unconscious. I tried to project blame towards Bernard ad Sunette, since I was not able to comprehend and have the same experience and understanding as they have. I was to be left alone and not charged with the crimes that I did not commit consciously.

But the fact is, that I was explained how mind works and that I am in every moment directed by thoughts that are automatically produced by my mind, which is my own creation due to long-lasting allowed and accepted accumulation of information and definitions. In time I have created this energetic entity of personality that has started to suppress me to the level where I almost completely diminished. Even though mind-consciousness system has been constructed in very subtle and deceptive way, it is still my responsibility for every moment when I participated in it. It was me who allowed to follow the thoughts and thus making them alive with my energy of attention. And since I was explained how I am in fact responsible for creating my ego personality, I can no longer be innocent. Thus I am no longer allowed to have the backchat without consequences. I need to stop any movement of the mind, breathe effectively and be here in the physical. Any projections of the past memories or thinking about the future without me actually directing the thoughts is not acceptable. However this is hard to be done due to my ego personality becoming so strong and infused with my physical, that I experience great unconscious physical fear that manifests as vertigo, heat, nausea and vomiting. However there is no other way to survive but to push myself through all of this, breathe through all uncomfortable physical experiences until I eventually birth myself as life as one and equal with all from the physical. I can not exist in this reality without becoming one with it and direct myself towards what is best for all living beings that are part of this reality. I can no longer exist as separate entity, only as observer, protecting only my self-interest and not giving a damn for others. The illusion of my individual mind-reality has to burst and be destroyed once and for all. It was the concept that could not stand the test of time in the first place. Existence can only be if all parts are aware of the full consequence of their actions, and direct themselves towards full support of all other parts of existence. Thus I as one part of existence need to take full responsibility of every single thought, feeling, emotion, voice or physical action, and support every single being as myself or I must no longer exist. No one that has any kind of intention to harm others will not be allowed to exist. So, this life is everyone's last opportunity to correct itself or to end its existence at physical death.

Self-forgiveness statements:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of envy towards Bernard, Sunette and other for possessing ability to experience, see and understand the systems and dimensions, instead of realizing that these abilities come with great responsibility that I can not even imagine, and that possessing certain abilities has nothing to do with self-realization, and is not the requirement or indicator of self-realization, since it is about all living being in this existence to self-realize together, as equal and one.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel pity for myself due to experiencing vertigo, instead of realizing that this is the consequence of my past participation in the mind and that I need to handle it as release of all energy that I have compounded through the time.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable when someone would ignore me due to expectation of everyone on the farm to treat me as one and equal, instead of stopping my desire to be noticed, understanding that how others react has nothing to do with me, and that it is my responsibility to be stable within, regardless where I am and who is in my presence.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed for other to see me how I vomit, have vertigo and similar conditions due to my desire of being perfect and wanting to present myself to others as perfect, instead of realizing that I am far from perfection, that I am separated from all life extensively, and that I will need to walk a long path and experience all sort of accumulated consequence in order to actually become self-realized.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others for not being perfect, constantly observing everyone and noticing any mistake, instead of realizing that judging others is in fact self-judgement, and that I need to accept others as one and understand that we are all in the same process, and that it will take a lot of time for everyone to gain perfection in terms of self-expression as one and equal with every living being.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comprehend the thinking in term of voices in my head to be equally valid as speaking, instead of realizing that allowing and accepting any undirected voice in my head is the result of separation and will result only in abuse, thus it must be stopped immediately.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to be special, caring only about my own self-realization and ignoring others, instead of realizing that self-realization is in fact the realization that we are all one and equal, all interconnected and interdependent and that self-realization can only be achieved if we all support each other in realizing this fact.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good if someone else gets hurt and experiences pain and interpreting this as their deserved punishment, instead of realizing that many of pain that other experience is the result of my creation and thus I am responsible for it, so I need to help others equally as myself in order to sort out this shit that I have allowed and accepted, otherwise it will turn back to me sooner or later.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others, instead of realizing the fear of others is actually fear of myself due to accepted and allowed abuse in this world and not taking self-responsibility for doing anything practical to assist in solving the problems that all living being experience in this moment.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to speak out loud and expressing myself vocally due to lack of my self-esteem, instead of realizing that communicating vocally as physical is necessary and only valid way of communication in order to fully express my every single perspective and not using secret mind, as the mind is the place of deception and abuse, thus every single thought has to be spoken out loud for everyone to hear and not be afraid of any more abuse from my side.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am pretty much enlightened, instead of realizing that I am full of fear of others, constantly fearing to be hurt or to loose my money and property, thus in my secret mind I attack, abuse and destroy others as first in order not to give them any chance to harm me in any way.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am totally cool and ok, intend of realizing that I am a very nasty and deceptive fucker, who use intelligence and knowledge to protect self-interest and leave others in deep shit.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of hate towards myself for being the nastiest fucker, intend of realizing that I have to accept myself firstly the way I am, and then immediately utilize the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to remove all the bullshit that I have accepted and allowed in my life.
    
    
14. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that everyone is self-responsible for current life experience, and taking care only for my satisfaction, instead of realizing that this perception is a White Light deception that creates illusion of everyone being separated and without any influence and need for responsibility towards others, but in fact we are all interconnected and we all influence each other thus we all are equal responsible for current situation in the word.
    
    
15. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek approval of others and fearing judgement of others due to lack of uncertainty, instead of realizing that I others can not baby-sit me for ever, and that I need to stand up and take self-responsibility by utilizing common sense, basic equality equation and principle that is "1+1=2" and "What is best for all".
    
    
16. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for others to tell me what to do, instead of realizing that there is enough shit in the world that need to be cleared, thus I need to stand up for all life and direct myself in every moment towards making this world a better place.
    
    
17. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy and the feeling of tiredness, since tiredness comes from participation in the mind and perception of separation, instead of realizing that by breathing effectively and being aware of all fuckness that currently exists in the world, I am able to motivate myself towards actively participating in co-creating heaven on earth.
    
    
18. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself that I do not do enough to bring a change in this word, instead of realizing that the process will need a lot of time and that firstly I need to take care of myself and become a stable point, and then only will I be able to move faster and more effectively.

Self-corrective application:

1. When I notice that someone has some abilities, different from mine, I do not allow myself to compare myself with others, I breathe and remain here, since we have all different appearances and expressions, but are all the same as life.
   
   
2. When I experience any physical reaction, I understand that in that moment I can do nothing but to remain calm and breathe through, since it is all just a matter of time until it will go away.
   
   
3. When I meet other people, I do not expect from them to react in any particular way. I accept any reaction as their own creation and responsibility. I breathe and remain calm and do not allow for any emotion, word or act of others to influence me in any way whatsoever.
   
   
4. When I see people in trouble and distress, I consider them as one and equal and assist and help them to overcome their problems, without allowing any energetic movements before, during and after assistance.
   
   
5. When I notice my mind move, I immediately stop my participation in my mind. I breathe and focus on what is physically here, since the physical is the only valid reality. If the voices in my head are persistent, I assist myself with writhing, do mind construct, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.
   
   
6. When I communicate with other people, I make sure that my mind does not move, and then I push myself to speak directly and clearly as me as the physical.
   
   
7. When I feel tired I consider other people in the world who live in scarcity, hunger and war and push myself to be active in birthing myself as the physical and supporting equality system that will enable dignified life for all living beings in this world.
   
   
8. When I don't know what to do, I apply mathematical equation 1+1=2, common sense, principle of what is best for all, and ask the members of equality group to establish which way to move myself.
   
   
9. When I want to hurry and become impatient, I slow myself down, breathe, remain here and support myself to firstly be a stable point, and then only act towards making this world a better place.

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2011 - Valentin travelling to Desteni farm in South Africa report

The 10. February 2011 when I was to departure to Desteni farm in South Africa was getting closer and closer. The night before I had the third speech about Desteni at some youth club at Škofja Loka. I was invited so speak there by some guy who runs the web site www.ujet.si (Ujet si = You are trapped) and exposes the information about secret world elite and how we are all manipulated, controlled and enslaved. Due to four month of event advertising from his side and also me creating the FaceBook event and inviting all of my friends who live in Slovenia, I expected at least 20 people to come. My speech would also be recorded with video camera and put on the Ujet.si web site for others to watch. But half an hour after my speech was to begin, there was still no one in the room besides me and the guy from Ujet.si who prepared the camera. Thus I decided to perform the Desteni introduction speech especially for the camera, so at least many people would be able to hear it later on the internet. The guy shared his experience that young people are not interested in listening this kind of stuff and that people would come only if we would offer a beer for 1 euro. So indeed, as Bernard predicted, only people about age of 30, who extensively experienced the inequality of current money system, would care to stand for a change. Thus in the future I will not push any more speeches but focus on blogging and vlogging and attracting attention by me being the example of the change.

The next morning I started to pack for the trip. The day before I also bought some photography accessories that I planned to use, like the light bouncer and very robust tripod and the stand head, suitable for smooth moving and panning to be able to shoot high quality video. I packed it, together with clothes and personal accessories in a very large travelling case. And I packed the laptop computer and the camera body, lenses, flash and other small camera equipment into the camera backpack. I dressed in long light trousers, cotton pullover, high waterproof leather shoes, and a soft warm jacket. I asked my father to give me a lift with his car to the airport. So about one hour before the flight departure, we went on the road and we also stopped at the bank where I raised some money, since they did not manage to provide me with the new credit card on time. My father then left me on the airport and I headed for the baggage checkpoint.

This was to be my second experience of travelling with the airplane. The first one I had was about 20 years ago, when I travelled with my classmates to Monte Negro at the end of elementary school. And we only flew one way and returned via ship and bus. Now the first thing I wandered about was, how heavy was my big case. The limit was 20 kilograms and they weighted mine to be 30 kilos, so 10 kilos over weight. I had to decide whether to leave some objects here or to pay for the extra weight that was 20 euros per kilo. The money I already paid for the ticket to South Africa and back was around 1200 euros. Since I had enough money and I packed only the most necessary equipment, I decided to pay 200 euros extra, which was not really much, considering the length of the flight.

Then I continued to the traveller’s checkpoint where I had to put the computer out of my backpack, and put the backpack, purse and the jacket in the big plastic trays. They were then transported through some kind of x-ray machine in order to be checked for explosive or some other forbidden objects. And myself I had to go through the doorframe, which was some kind of metal detector. It beeped, and then I had to put each of my foot onto some additional scanning device. All went well, so I picked my stuff and continued for the waiting area. I ordered a muffin and a glass of water and made the first photos of my travelling adventure. I checked at information if there was some restriction at shooting photos at airports, since I did not want to become a suspected terrorist, but they said that it was completely fine. Soon the clock was 17:00 and the exit gates opened. I was to show my airplane ticket and passport to the person at the gate and then I went on the airport bus that waited outside. When all of travellers entered the bus, it took us to the relative small airplane of our Adria Airways airline. I firstly was not aware that we had already assigned seats, so I mistakenly seated down at the empty chair of the first class at the front. But then the stewardess asked me to show her the ticket and instructed me, to move behind in the economy class, where the seat in the middle of the airplane's length, on the left side next to the window was waiting for me. The stewardess put my backpack in the shelves above our heads and closed the doors.

We were then all shown how to use the safety belts, the oxygen masks and life saving suits in the case of the air pressure falling down or landing in the water. Since my seat was just next to the emergency exit, I was also explained how to open it in case of emergency. The stewardess checked if we all had safety belts fastened and we were ready for the flight. The jet positioned itself to the runway and started to accelerate. In couple of seconds we became airborne. We needed to stay on our seats until we would reach the cruising altitude. The sun was going down and it was nice view over the numerous high alpine mountains. Just a few minutes after we reached the final altitude, the stewardesses started to offer us a sandwich and a drink. We were able to pick ham or cheese sandwich and between different sorts of soft drinks, tea and coffee. I choose ham sandwich and orange juice. The ride for the Frankfurt airport in Germany was to take about one hour and a half. It became already very dark when we were to prepare ourselves for the landing. And we were cruising for quite some time after we needed to fasten our seat belts again. I don't know if it was usual to be prepared so soon, or the pilot had to wait for the runway to become available for landing. Finally we started to lower the altitude and we successfully landed.

The Frankfurt airport was very big, at least hundred times bigger than Ljubljana airport. The first thing I wanted to find out was if I needed to pick my big case somewhere, or if it will be automatically transported to the next airplane. I went to information and found out that my luggage would be transported automatically. Then I went to search my gate for departure to African continent. At information office they told me that I would have to go down the hall for about 1,5 kilometer. Yes, so big was the Frankfurt airport. But I had enough time, since the departure was scheduled at about 22:00 hours, so I had about three hour of time. I had to go through three checkpoints where the police firstly checked my passport, then someone checked my passport and the airplane ticket, and then they checked my backpack and scanned my body again. But this time the security procedure was much more detailed. Some guy detailed scanned my body with handhold scanner and touched every centimeter of my body. Since his sensor beeped when it would approach my shoes, I had to take them off and he took it somewhere for additional control. Uh, how my shoes become wet and smelly.

I successfully passed the safety control and continued to the waiting area. I ordered sandwich and a fruit tea, sat down and ate. Then I wanted to check my mail and write a blog, but there was no open and free Wi-Fi signal like at Ljubljana airport. There was option to buy the HotSpot credit for certain period of time, but I would need a credit card. I noticed there was also a computer terminal for public use. It had a metal keyboard and metal trackball. The cost of use was 20 cents per minute. I wanted just to update my FaceBook status, so I inserted 20 cents to see how far would I get. But since the trackball was so hard to move, and FaceBook asked me for some additional safety questions since I tried to login from unusual place, the time was not sufficient for me even to complete the FaceBook login procedure. So I had to feed the machine with additional 2 euros and then I had just enough time to write a few lines, so that my father and everyone else could know that I am fine. Since my shoes were very hot, I took them off in order to dry. I then took a nap for an hour, lying down across three seats, with my backpack under my head.

Slowly the waiting room started to become more and more filled with people. Half an hour before the scheduled departure I put on my shoes and approached the gates to check what was going on. They started to call some passengers by their names, since they had a reservation in the first class and privilege to be served before others. Then the four automatic gates for the rest of us opened. I approached the bar code scanning machine and pressed my ticked towards device, but it did not let me through. Some women called me to go to the computer and she had to enter the information from my passport and the ticket into computer and print for me a different kind of ticket. I was then able to pass the gates and enter the airplane. The machine was the biggest passenger airplane in the world, owned by the Lufthansa flight company, and had two passenger decks besides a lot of storage space. My seat was in the upper deck, almost at the tail and four seats away from the window, so I was not able to take many photos through the window during the flight. But every seat had a monitor and you could choose see the live video from one of three cameras, positioned above the airplane, aside the wing, or from above the tail. I preferred to observe the view from above the tail, since you could see almost all of the airplane body and the scenery bellow.

The flight start was delayed for couple of minutes, since the loading device got blocked and the maintenance workers had to fix it. This time the safety instructions were given via screens in our seats. Then the machine slowly taxied to the runway. And after some moments of acceleration, I was airborne again. The monitors provided also the option to watch the virtual landscape and flight information, similar to Google Earth. You could check the speed, altitude, time remaining to destination, and the globe map with the planned route and finished flight route. You could also pick to watch one of several movies from different genres. The stewards provided each of us with the blanket and headphones, packed in the transparent plastic bags, so it were probably freshly washed and sterilized. Shortly after we were offered a drink and a snack, also the warm dinner was served. I got the salad, bread, beefsteak with rice and beans and a cake. While eating, I started to watch The Social Network movie about the creators of FaceBook. Then I decided to get some sleep. It was so cold on the airplane that I had to button myself up completely, use the provided blanket and even put the warm cap on my head. The seats were quite hard, not very much place for legs, and just with little tilt available. So I had to change my position occasionally in order not to suffer too much pain on my buttocks.

The flight from Frankfurt to Johannesburg was to take about 10 hours. I woke about two hours before the landing, had some juice and then started to watch the R.E.D. action movie. Soon they also started to serve the warm breakfast. It was some bread, fruit spread, cheese, and omelets and a drink of course. At that time the sun already started to shine, but most of passengers still had their windows closed. When we approached the airport, all the windows opened and the bright sun light flushed the room. I also went to toilet in the morning. It was tight, but very nice, everything made from plastic, to reduce the weight I guess. The landing was perfect and we reduced the speed very fast since the runway was much shorter than in Frankfurt.

When we entered the Johannesburg airport, the uplifting African music played on the speakers in the hall and big posters welcomed us. This airport was also very big, I would say the half the size of Frankfurt airport. This time I had to pick my big case from the baggage carousel and transport it to another baggage checkpoint. When I headed to the exit gate, one portiere approached and asked where I am going. I showed him my ticket, he grabbed my big case and told me to follow him. This surprised me, since I did not know if it was his duty to assist me. I was grateful that he showed me the correct way to the second floor where and we were going very fast. I asked him if he expects any tip for his service and he said that he is not employed at the airport and that he expects a big tip. I gave him 10 euros, but he wanted me to give him 20. I insisted that this would be quite enough, especially since I did not asked for his services and I had enough time to find the necessary points by myself.

I then continued for the passenger checkpoint. For the third time I had to have my bags and body inspected and this time it went very quick. When I got to the departure gates I still had three hours left until start of my next flight. I checked for the Wi-Fi internet signal and again there were some, but all locked. I wanted to buy myself something to eat end drink and I asked where the exchange office was. They told me that I needed to go all the way back through the passenger checkpoint and down two floors, almost exactly where the portieres were. So if the portiere would not take my attention, I would probably notice the exchange service and would not need to go all the way back. There were three different exchange offices and I checked for their exchange rates. It seemed to be all about the same, so I picked one with the shortest queue. The exchange rate was about 10 rand for 1 euros and I exchanged 200 euros just in case.

On the way back I notices some area called lounge, like a self-service café with very cozy seats. I asked the women at reception what this place was about and she explained that if I pay 150 rand, I was able to use the facility, including unlimited food, wireless internet and also the showers. That seemed to me very cool offer, so I took it. Firstly I took a shower and also washed my socks, and dried the socks and shoes with the fan and then also refreshed the shoes with the deodorant spray from the toilet. Then I went to the foods and filled the plate with mini sandwiches and cupcakes, and for drink a picked the orange juice. After I filled my stomach, I connected to internet, updated my FaceBook status and did some other stuff. The connection was not very fast though. Half an hour before the departure time I went to the exit gates. At 17:00 SA time all the passengers were ready, but we had to wait a bit longer for the airport bus. We did not have to wait very long, and I found myself again on the airplane. It was a small one, similar to the first one, and the flight to Pietermaritzburg took only 1 hour. For the snack, we were offered a soft drink and a bag of potato chips.

The Pietermaritzburg airport was very small, I would say one fourth of Ljubljana airport or a little bigger than the size of our Lesce airport. Andrea awaited me there with her big white Jeep car and transported me to Desteni farm. The feeling and smell here is just like in our country in the area near the sea in the middle of the summer. The soil is red, a lot of forests, some rivers and lakes, but very hot and dry. Bernard was the first one who greeted me and firstly I did not even know that he was the one, since I pictured him very differently. After I settled in my room, I was introduced to other people on the farm and then also to the dogs. Beside myself there is also some other guy here from Amsterdam who came for a period of three weeks. In the evening I had a chat with Bernard and we spoke about some points. They offered me a meal and then I went to bed. I took a long sleep to rest from the travel. I will report more about my adventures on Desteni farm in my next blogs.
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2011 - Support for Relationship Demon possessed females

This is support for all women, who long for some specific person, who are in deep love into someone, but this someone is out of their reach or does not want to be in relationship with you.

Understand, that when you grow up, you are being imprinted with billions of information, mostly from your parents, and also from other people an media within your world. Some of those information are regarding relationships between man and a woman. You are fed with definitions of what is your role in this world as a female, how you should act and perform, and part of this female role is also to establish a relationship with some man, create family, have children and thus become a acceptable part of the society.

The parents are the first role model and then you observe also other relationships and copy the information into your subconscious mind. You start imagine your own ideal future relationship or family and thus produce desire for someone that would be able to fulfill this fantasy. Based on your past experience and programming from your parents, your fantasy is very specific of what the ideal partner should look like, how it should act and what shall provide for you in order for you to feel safe and loved.

Then within occasions where you are surrounded with other people, including men, you unconsciously start to observe and compare males with the ideal partner personality in your mind. When some gesture, word, or the looks of someone fits your inner picture of desired figure, then you start to project this ideal characteristics onto the selected male. You create the perception of this male as being something more, someone special, that is indispensable in your life in order to become completely fulfilled.

By this definition and labeling someone as more valuable as everything else, you create the point of inequality. You bring certain part of this creation above the other parts of existence and thus contribute to bringing the whole existence out of balance. Within the context of value, you separate something from everything else and give it much higher value, which result in creating two polarity points, one representing the desired female, and other representing the rest of existence. You stop paying your attention to everything around your equally and start focusing all your attention only on certain being.

Since you focus all your attention only onto someone, the friction within your mind-consciousness system occurs, and from this friction the energy is produced. This energy starts to flow and move within your psychical body and compound around your chest and belly region. The sensation of this energy you then call the feeling of love, and based on your accepted programming, you define this feeling as something normal, as part of the process of creating perfect, long lasting loving relationship. However you are not aware of the fact that it is your participation in your own mind who created this feeling, but project this manifestation out there, onto the person who you have started to define yourself, as being in love with.

However in reality, any being out there has nothing to do with how you feel. No one but yourself is responsible for you falling in love and experiencing the feeling of love. This is completely created by yourself within the mind-consciousness system by creating and holding onto point of inequality. If you continue to hold this point and time-loop in focusing all your mind attention onto someone, more and more energy is created. Within time, this anergy starts to become its own entity and thus the Relationship Demon is manifested.

This energetic demonic entity starts to posses you and slowly take control over you and your actions. You start to loose your mind and do not react in common sense anymore. You stop to treat everyone equally, you ignore their requests, wants and needs, and you start to move only in direction of fulfilling the desires of your Relationship Demon. You become obsessed with stalking selected male, writing him messages, expressing your love and dedication, describing how he is the only one that you are living for, and that he should give you a chance to live together, since you will do anything necessary to make him happy. Within your mind you enjoy the fantasy and pictures of the scenes where he and you will finally be together and live happily ever after.

If the male does not respond to your affectionate actions, then you start to become more and more desperate. Since you have defined the selected male as the source of your happiness and life fulfillment, by him not returning the attention, you define this state as the end of yourself, the road to life of misery and inner suffering. The consequences of feeding this energetic demon is manifested as pain in your body, you cry and desperately suffer. And once again, you are not aware that it is actually you who is inflicting the pain to yourself, but project the cause of the pain outside, onto the male who you desire.

By allowing yourself to go on with participating in this mind pattern, you feed the Relationship Demon to the extent that it totally possesses and consumes your. You end to exist as life and become nothing but energy that wants only more energy from other living beings. You do not take others into consideration, but only want to posses the targeted male, regardless of consequences. You try to get close to him, want to surprise him, perhaps even trap and rape him. If he would fight back, you would become violent and maybe even kill him. You actually do not care about him as a living being, you just want his energy of attention. So if he does not want to give you any attention, you allow yourself the emotion of envy and rather have him dead than allow him to give attention to any other being.

Thus, to prevent psychical or physical violence and murder, I suggest for every female, who experience the progression of described events, to stop immediately. Understand that energy is the trap and that results only in destruction. Life is not energy, the energy destroys life. Energy is produced by participating in mind-consciousness system that produces thoughts and fantasies. Whatever there is in your mind is all illusion. The reality is what is here as the physical in every moment of every breath. The mind allows you to create the bubble of separate individual reality that is different from the universal reality. When you try to impose your mind reality onto physical reality, the friction, energy, violence, pain and destruction is manifested. Thus I suggest not to participate in your mind at any time whatsoever and focus only on what is here in the physical.

The first support tool that helps you to ground yourself in the physical is breathing. If you are constantly aware of your breath, if every in-breath and out-breath is executed by your own will, than you effectively stop the thoughts to bother you and steal you attention from what is here. Thus make sure that you are aware of your breath constantly, in every single moment, without stopping. If you at any time notice, that you are in you mind, than you simply return your attention onto your breath. The other supportive tool is writing yourself to freedom, create mind constructs, indicate the accepted and allowed definitions that prevent you from considering all existence as one and equal, and then self-forgive those definitions. I recommend to research the Desteni I Process that will educate you effectively in tools to free yourself from influences of all energies and support your process of birthing yourself as life from the physical.

I am concluding this support with writing some self-forgiveness as one and equal with the female who has allowed and accepted to become possessed by self-created Relationship Demon. If you experience any level of possession, it is recommended that you read and speak this words out loud, since it will support you in shattering and defusing the mind patterns that in time crystalize and become one with the physical:

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with someone, instead of standing up as life as one end equal to everyone else.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that falling in love is something normal and desirable, instead of realizing that this is just the information that I have accepted from my environment.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall with the excuse of love, instead of realizing that the world "fall" indicates that I am not "standing" anymore, and that I need to remove all things that make me "fall", regardless of their nature.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define love only as the feeling, instead of realizing that every feeling is the friction-produced energy, and that real love is the practical living as one and equal to every single living being and doing what is best for all.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that experiencing the feeling of love is the necessary experience that I need to get in order to complete my life, instead of realizing that in the moment that I desire something different from what is here in this moment, I actually stop myself as life and become energy that destroys all life.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for specific partner, based on my subconsciously created pictures and personality definitions of ideal male, instead of realizing that I can be in successful partnership with anyone who is willing to enter the agreement with me, where each one of us will support other equally.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as female and allow myself to create female personality and act according to what others have told me that I have to act like just because of my sex, instead of realizing that who I am is life and that any definition that defines me as something less that life is just going to limit my self-expression.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the energetic experience of feelings and emotions, believing that to be able to feel is what makes me human and warm and pleasant person, instead of realizing that the nature of energy is to distract me from what is here and that allowing the energy will consequently bring me pain and death.
   
   
9. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believing that thinking is the part of who I am, instead of realizing that thoughts are produced by the mind-consciousness system that is enslaving us in time-loops where we repeat mistakes over and over, until we realize that mind is illusion and that what is real is only physical creation in this moment.
   
   
10. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone as something more, and then project my definitions out there, instead of realizing that all definitions are my own creation and that no one but me is responsible for how I perceive everything that exists.
    
    
11. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to uplift or degrade any part of reality and thus create the point of separation and polarity, instead of realizing that we are all one and equal and that any part of creation can not exist as more and less valuable than others.
    
    
12. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can not live and be satisfied without some partner, instead of realizing that I am individual living being that does not need anyone to exist, live end express itself fully in every single moment.
    
    
13. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to breathe and be here, instead of realizing that whenever I forget to breathe and start participating in my mind, I stop being aware of what I am actually doing and thus inflicting paint to myself and others.

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2011 - Another strong but short collapse, moved furniture to basement

Yesterday I spent the first night at my father's apartment. The bed was very soft, so I did not sleep very comfortably since I am used to much harder bed. When I woke up, I stayed in the bed, picked my MacBook and started to watch vlogs and to answer emails and FaceBook massages. I spent this way for about two hours without moving much, when I started to feel a bit dizzy. I lifted myself up, got dressed and made a cup of large tea in the kitchen. But the dizziness did not go away, but it only compounded, so I lied down to bed with hopes that it will go away. But the vertigo became stronger and stronger. I felt hopeless, since I was only able to breathe and nothing else, and a many thoughts flew through my mind that I was unable to stop. So I indulged the sensation with expectation that the body will soon sort itself out as usual. I started to feel sick in the stomach and the body temperature started rising. I perceived this fever to be a body natural defense mechanism in order to burn all the toxins. I was under influence of the lecture of Italian doctor who explained that it is the fungus who starts to spread in the body and is the cause of tumors. So I imagined that the heat is frying this fungus or some viral system that have spread in my head and took me over. Then the sickness in the stomach became so strong, that I went to bathroom and emptied my stomach by vomiting. I perceived like the body accumulated all the toxins and malicious systems in the stomach and now it was turn to remove it out of the body. After vomiting the fluid, since it was the third day of fasting, and I have been drinking nothing but water and tea, I returned to the bed and continued to rest. Slowly the temperature started to fall and the vertigo disappears.

In the afternoon I worked on my desktop PC in order to fix some tax errors that I made. I was to return some amount of money to several companies that payed my bills, since it was theirs duty to pay the income tax in my behalf. It took me about three hours to execute all the online bank transactions and to prepare mail for the clients. It was about 6pm when I took the mail to the post office and then I went to my ex-apartment in order to continue with emptying the rooms. So far I was able to empty all the furniture and now I needed to dismantle the furniture and store it temporary in the basement until I move to Ljubljana after I return from Africa. Slowly I dismantled the bedroom, the sofa and office table, and then I carried it, together with bamboo furniture from the counseling office, that did not need any dismantling, into basement. When I would empty one room, I would deep-clean the carpet with the Vorwerk vacuum cleaner and the cleaning powder so the new owners would move into perfectly tidy apartment. While moving the furniture I learned that if I use all my strength to push something, I would immediately get dizzy, so I became very careful not to exaggerate. Occasionally I took a glass of water, and I noticed that in spite of long work, my head became more and more clear. It was exactly midnight when I finished transporting all the furniture to basement and deep-cleaned the largest room and the bedroom. Now I only need to came once again in order to deep-clean the living room and to wash the kitchen and all the windows.

When I returned to my father's apartment, I changed the mattress with the harder one that I brought from my ex-apartment. I slept very well and inspire of 6 hours recent hard physical work, I woke up at 4am, so only after 4 hours of sleep, which surprised me very much. My head was very clear, so I picked up the notebook and checked up messages and played the new Desteni videos. I noticed that the new http://www.demonology.co.za web site and the http://www.youtube.com/demonsdaily YouTube channel has been launched that will provide proper support regarding demons and demon possessions, which I find very cool.

I then watched national TV daily news recording and there were two major points. One indicated large riots in the Egypt and it seems that the people all over the world are getting tired of suppression and slavery. There were also some cleanups in our country, since the news reported of some judge that took bribery and they managed to collect sufficient evidence in order to convict him. There is a lot of corruption in our country, but if someone makes any report, it is mainly disregarded, since the elite stick together and support each other. Thus some major removal of all the current public employees will be needed in order to stop driving our country towards bankruptcy.

After four hours of working with computer in the bed, at 7am I decided to continue resting. I rested for about two hours and started at 9am started writing this blog. I still have very clear and stable head and I wish this state to continue. In spite of sweating a lot these days, I did not take a shower or had a shave for four days. Usually I feel very uncomfortable after I sweat, and pimples quickly appear due to greasy clogged skin. But now my skin was clear, no pimples and I did not smell bad at all. However I am going to shave and take a shower right after I finish this blog post, since at noon, we are having dinner to celebrate my father's 60th birthday. He told me, that the dinner will be on Sunday, but yesterday evening he told me, that he made a mistake and that the dinner will take place today, on Saturday. I am looking forward to meet close relatives, I already met my brother and his family two days ago, but today also the half-sister and her partner will come, which I did not see for more than a year. I expect that everyone will have a lot of questions about my plans regarding moving to different location and traveling to Desteni farm, so it could be very interesting.
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