04 March 2020

Day 188: A balance between the inner and outer

This is a reflection on my current experience of myself in relation to recent events in my personal life and news about global events. The biggest points are engagement in online dating, dental issues, legal threats, developing my new business services, visiting the gym, inner transformation process, Coronavirus, U.S. elections, new Slovenian government, and the global money system.




It has been about two weeks since I reengaged in an active online dating. I updated my existing profiles at some of the dating websites and created new profiles at most promising dating sites and apps. It has been a massive investment of my time and also some money to present myself in the best way possible to single women, to browse their profiles and like the ones that I found to be most compatible with me. With some that responded positively, I engaged in extensive online conversations, voice chats and in some cases even traveling and meeting them live. The process of weeding out all the fake scamming and phishing profiles has been quite frustrating and the percentage of those who actually responded was very low. In the chats with those that responded I learned many new things and had to make decisions in regards to the level of compatibility and predictions how my life in a long-term relationship with them would influence me personally and business-wise. And mostly I have been wondering about my motivation and expectations about wanting to be in a relationship in the first place or do I actually need to be in a relationship to achieve the effects that I expect from being in a relationship with someone else. For example how much would someone else contribute to me becoming more motivated in doing something and suggesting to me what to do in order to compensate my indecisiveness as a typical Libra? And to what level is dating possibly for the most part just a distraction from empowering myself on my own and becoming able to function without the need of being directed and approved by someone outside of myself?

The tooth pain and a visit to the dentist made me think about my current dental state, the future of losing even more teeth by getting older and the general role of the teeth for practical processing of the food and the social acceptance while smiling and thus displaying own teeth to others. For example, even though dating the feedback of the girls showed how much value they give to an outer presentation, including how the teeth look. And that also created concern about the relationship dynamic if the situation of my teeth would worsen a lot. Then I wondered about the national medical insurance, how our dental system works and the long waiting periods or high costs of dental appointments if deciding to pay it all by myself and the option to travel to Croatia where they have better dental equipment and much lower prices. I even considered if I could apply any of the other dental options that I heard about like stell cell implants for the extracted teeth to regrow or to initiate the process of growing the complete new set of teeth like some were able to achieve when transitioned to breatharianism. Or how the new plasma science that the Keshe Foundation has been developing has a similar potential of directly providing the necessary energy that we extract by eating food and thus we would not any longer have the need to use the teeth for food crushing and consequently they would stay in perfect condition.

Some level of anxiety that I experienced in the past couple of years was also due to legal threats and discovering how the global system of money, religion, law, and enforcement works. Like how the birth certificates are being used to create fictions, value for the banking system, a life of bondage by the assumption of consent and expanding the monarchistic dictatorship of the Roman Catholic Church all over the globe by creating wars and killing millions of people. And how each one of us has the power of claiming own life by taking similar procedure that has been almost literally exposed in the Jupiter Ascending moving and transitioning from using national languages that have been deliberately corrupted into babble into using the Correct-Sentance-Structure-Communication-Parse-Syntax-Grammar-Performance. I was glad to see that withing the current U.S. elections presidential candidate Andrew Yang talked so much about the importance of transitioning from the current system of consumerism, perpetual growth, and debt into making the quality of life as the primary objective by providing Unconditional Basic Income in form of a Freedom Dividend and finally enjoying the fruits of all kind of automation, robots and artificial intelligence that we have developed. Even the leader of the new Slovenian government has expressed plans to move in this direction and supposedly the global news obsession about the New Human Coronavirus, fake or not, could be the additional motivation or just a public distraction in order for the new global financial system to be implemented that would finally free the humanity.

With the development of computers and the internet, we are increasingly becoming connected and able to share information with anyone all over the globe in a matter of milliseconds. However, digitalization also presents the challenge of creating illusions and fake news so one needs to be very cautious about everything that is online. It is all a reflection of our own mind where we equally create parallel virtual worlds in our imagination where we hide and pretend and think that our actions there has no consequence. That can be addictive and if we apply the same principle also in this physical world that we all share, the result is the destruction of our life sources that has become more and more evident. Since what we can see out there is merely a reflection of what is within us, it is best for all to walk the path towards manifesting a Virus Free Mind. So while we can all satisfy our curiosity about what is going on in this world it is best to stay balanced and spend at least equal time walking the process of self-reflection, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and self-commitments with the support of online courses like the completely free DIP Lite course with experienced live buddies. And while we can not change the basic structure of our physical body and all of its characteristics that we inherited, we still can improve it by selecting a diet that would best support our physical body and exercising in order to stay fit the best way possible. Thus I also have improved my eating habits and increased the frequency and visiting the gym in order to make the best of all the potentials that I have within all the limitations that are beyond my power of conscious influence.

The field in my life that needs more movement has remained my business activities. It is interesting how I become excited about something like becoming a Certified Life Coach and imagining how offering such services would best fit my lifestyle and would support others the most and they observed how things are not moving as fast as I hoped to. There is a question of how actually I am influencing this world by my current activities and if there are actually positive consequences that I am not even aware of. Like is it more effective to be politically active out there, is talking and assisting others face to face personally or in group formation more important, should I blog and vlog more, especially in the English language, or is my inner process of transforming my own mind patterns the most important since it resonates on a subtle level and creates a ripple effect on all levels of existence? Well so far I am moving slowly but steadily in all those areas and I just wish that it will create a synergetic accumulative effect that would result in a better world for all as soon as possible. I definitely feel resistances in the form of physical tiredness and it is not easy to identify what portion of it is simply muscle tiredness from lifting weights at the gym, how much of it is the mental tiredness due to absorbing and processing an incredible amount of information on a daily basis, to what extend my awareness is just becoming more integrated with my physical body that is under influence of planetary gravitational force, how much the two teeth with root canals in my mouth contribute to the feeling of lack of energy, does the electromagnetic fields from all the cell towers, wifi networks, and other possible influences play I significant role in how I currently feel, and what am I able to do to feel more light, energized and productive. Anyway, I simply do my best in every single moment and make sure that I remain emotionally stable as much as possible within the realization that we are all in this together, that we are all one and that if I keep such awareness, I will be just fine no matter what happens.

Suggested related supportive educational audios:
Balance
Creating Balance in Change
The Balance in Support
The Good Times & the Bad
In Balance with your Body
Creating Balance while Changing Yourself
The Trinity of Dependence, Independence and Interdependence
Over Disciplined and Overindulging
Me Time and We Time
When You Change & When You Don't
Split into Two Worlds
Insecurity-Confidence Polarity
My Intelligence is my Only Friend
Mind-Made Choices

29 February 2020

Day 187: Self-forgiveness on dating

These are my self-forgiveness and self-corrective statement as part of the process of self-perfection that I learned by walking the Desteni I Process courses in regard to my previous two blog posts about my experiences with dating again after several years of basically being single.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on dating to the level of me having almost no time to develop my business plans. I realize that I have used dating as a form of distraction in order not having to face all the necessary tasks that I need to do in order to make my new life coaching business moving. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “You can postpone your business plans for now since your income is sufficient to get you through the next month!“ to stop and breathe. I decide to rather focus on my business first and develop a stable source of income and spend only my free time on dating activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as being able to apply my gathered knowledge and experiences in regards to self-perfections the best only if I engage in a  relationship with a woman. I realize that the only thing that I need to face my mind and release all the limiting patterns is myself and my self-honesty. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thought like: “It is more effective to walk the process of self-perfection when you are in a life relationship since the other person can assist you with a reflection of your mind patterns!” to stop and breathe. I decide to rather focus on walking my process alone and only if I by any chance find a proper partner do I then establish an agreement with her to reflect and support each other as an additional form of support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be in a relationship with a woman who already has young children in order to express myself as a father and to apply my gathered knowledge about how children are best to be raised. I realize that there are also other options for me to be of service to society and that raising children is a path with quite limited reach and one of many options to influence humanity in a positive way. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thought like: “Due to your current age it would be more suitable for you to pick a separated or widowed woman with young kids and assist her with raising her children!” to stop and breathe. I decide to rather research all the options like creating online webinars or courses where I can have even greater impact on society and also earn money with it.

Related supportive Eqafe audios:
I Fear Missing out
Avoidance: Face Yourself
High Expectations for my Child's Future
Life Review of a Dependent Personality
Stay at Home Mom
What do You Want for Your Child?
The Product of a Sheltered Life

26 February 2020

Day 186: The role of beauty in online dating

I wrote in my previous post about a woman that I started to date online and after I met her in person I decided that we would not be a great match. After that, I continued with online dating and connected with a quite unusual profile. I usually do not send messages to profiles where I suspect that photos are fake and I completely ignore profiles without even one photo. When I stumbled upon this profile, it had a photo of a smiling girl with long blond hair however it was in a very low resolution which already made me suspicious. I later made a reverse online search of the profile photo and it returned two results, one connected to a profile of some kind of adult service industry so I concluded that it is probably fake. The profile name was similar to one of Hollywood movies which were in a way quite creative. And she described herself with words in her profile as a very attractive beautiful woman that definitely has no problem getting someone for sex however she wants to find a romantic man that would be a good friend for her with the potential of becoming a long-term partner.




That description definitely made sense to me since I have also researched the point about the existence of physical attraction and beauty in the past and produced a vlog in the Slovenian language. So equally to how some have problems with feeling unattractive and struggling to connect with others, some have the opposite challenge due to just the shape of their physical body experiencing too much of attention from others. And I know that it is very common that such women get hit intensely by men who then show to be very jealous and possessive towards them which creates a lot of conflict and pain in a relationship. However, I have never been jealous in regards to my girlfriends and have imagined how I would actually be a good partner for very attractive women since I would treat them as equals, as who they are as a being, seeing them beyond the mask from flesh and bones. Actually, I had experience with some girl that fit this description quite good, we were partners at Kriya Tantra class for two years, we tried to become also life partners but proved that she was extremely emotionally reactive so we parted.

So I was very pleasantly surprised that this blond woman wrote back to me at the dating website and said that based on my profile it seems that I am the only normal man there. We started to communicate firstly via the chat function at the dating website and then soon transitioned to texting via the Viber app. Also there she had a different picture of a woman with blond hair but with a completely blurred face and a profile name of some animal species. She herself even suggested that I am definitely wondering why she has her face blurred and why she is hiding her actual looks however that was in fact not very important for me at that time. For the first couple of days during the week, she was quite busy with work and had not a lot of time to communicate with me. However, during the weekend, she spent time relaxing at her mountain cottage and we exchanged a lot of information.

It looked very promising at the beginning and I was surprised about her ability her wide perspective about the global events and deep understanding of life. I discovered that not many people with good looks develop into intellectuals since their physical attraction is what they mostly use to get what they want in their lives. Thus I enjoyed very much communicating with this blond woman and sharing a lot of supportive information and resources that I stumble upon since I am walking on the path of self-perfection. She said that her father is very into spirituality, aliens, the afterlife and global politics so it made sense that she is also quite open about it. After I asked her if she also has a Facebook profile she said yes, however, that it is also a fake one and used only to check other profiles there.

Eventually, she expressed her thoughts about also started to communicate via the phone or possibly even meeting face to face. However she immediately also said that she fears that after I hear or see her that could change our relationship. Days went by and we still just continued with texting. Soon she again became busy with work and explained how she frequently has to relax by going to a spa or to have a retreat in the mountains. She never expands what she actually does for her business however she did say she is freelancing and managing some business projects that require her to also travel abroad often. That she lived in the USA for some time but then decided to return back to Slovenia. Here she has her own apartment but uses it also as a retreat and never invites any man to spend the night there with her.

Then another woman also contacted me via the dating website and she had some photos which pointed out that she has more courage about showing her face and body. We also started to text firstly there, transitioned to Messanger soon and then we already had our very long voice conversation. I wanted to be open about that and informed the blond girl that I have started to communicate with another girl. Because of my purpose with dating actually is finding a life partner and I am not interested in just chatting for hours and hours with someone who wants to be anonymous. So I asked the blond girl if what she thinks about also ourselves having a phone conversation or meeting live. Surprisingly she soon after that responded that she wants to end communicating with me since I hurt her feelings a day before by suggesting her to see if possibly she has OCD since she also explained how she is disinfecting objects that she uses on a regular basis in order to kill all the bacteria.

That was quite surprising for me since I imagined that based on her level of awareness she would by now know that each of us is responsible for our emotional reactions and accusing others to be the cause of how we feel in the act of projection and self-dishonesty. I wrote her back with my perspective on the situation however the message at this moment still shows as being unread and it seems like she blocked me on Viber. I can just guess what actually influenced her to stop communicating with me. I see that it could be a point of jealousy due to the start of talking to a new girl, her own fears of exposing herself to others, her work-related stress, and she also mentioned how she is looking for a more influential and powerful man and I currently really do not fit that description. I think she was not fit for my desired form of a relationship where partners treat each other as equals and wanted someone different.

Additional related supportive educational audios:
Escaping from the Harshness of Reality into the Beauty of Nature
You are Gorgeous
Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover
War of Women
Appearances Aren't Everything
Warped Self Image
Appearances
The Consciousness of the Peacock