- I forgive myself that I have accepting and allowed myself for information in regards sleeping that I read in the magazines, books and heard from other people to create my believes about how much sleep do I actually need.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to check what time is it when I go to the bed and what time is it when I wake up and then calculate in my mind how many hours I have been sleeping and then creating a belief if I am rested enough or if I need to continue sleeping.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the digits on the watch and the clock hands to create my perception about time and how one day is sliced into hours and minutes and how I have to feel in regards to what time this measuring devices display instead of simply being here and moving myself in this moment.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perceive each day as the same due to the the same amount of time displayed on the clock instead of focusing on my breath and observing my surrounding and working with what is here in this present moment.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to when I go to bed in the evening to observe the clock and then decide how much I still have time for fun time and watching movies instead of observing how my physical body feel and if it needs rest and if not rather read a supportive book to develop my potentials.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the nice feeling of softness and warmth in the bed in the morning to bring me in the state of procrastination instead of jumping up from the bed and looking forward to many new adventures that each day brings.
11 April 2013
Day 11: Sleeping habits self-forgiveness
10 April 2013
Day 10: My sleeping sensations and perceptions
Post for Day 9 is in my Slovenian blog
In the couple of previous blog posts I analysed my sleeping habits and believes. Today my girlfriend shared another information or belief that each hour of sleep before midnight counts double comparing to each hour of slee after midnight. So for example if one goes to sleep at 10 pm, the first two hours of sleep count as four hours of sleep or as much as sleeping from 12 pm to 4 am. I don't know if this is a fact or if this really is true, but this motivated me in considering that I should also try getting to bed earlier and also waking up earlier. Thus today I will go to sleep at about 10 pm and see what will be the effect.
But now I want to write also abut my sleeping sensations. It was about 6 years ago when I started to notice a moving sensation when falling into sleep. When I firstly encountered this, I believed that I am experiencing an earthquake and I became frightened. After couple of similar experiences I became used to this sensation and began to understood what was really going on. The fact is that physical body is constantly shaking and vibrating or pulsating, but we somehow do not register that. The shaking is due to pulsation of the hearth or pumping blood throughout the entire body.
Think about this! Human body is quite large comparing to most of animal species and all the cells in every part of the body need a flow of fresh blood. It is about 2 meters from toes to top of the head and each part needs to be reached. It takes a massive force to pump the blood and hearth is doing this action by contracting and expanding approximately once or twice every single second. Every time when blood is pushed through the veins, the shockwave is created that shakes entire body. So couple of years ago, when I laid down into bed, within the process of falling into sleep I slowly started to feel this vibrations. And now this has become a standard sensation basically every time I go to bed or even lay down just for a short rest.
The next perception in regards sleeping is even more strange and somehow frustrating. It is about perception of time. The experience of time is very different and relative to motivation and also physical movement through the space. It is also very different to being awake and being asleep or unconscious. What bugs me the most is that sometimes when I go to bed for my famous 20 minute midday nap, I set the clock to ring after 20 minutes. Then I relax and wait for the clock to ring. Sometimes when it rings, I perceive it like just 3 second have past since I went to bed and not 20 minutes! So the time duration of sleep somehow does not really matte.
What basically creates the effect of being rested is very specific event that happens during the rest. I observed it for many times and it is like this. Firstly I lay down and totally relax every all the muscles on my body. Then I usually start to feel shaking of the body, like a gentle earthquake. Then after certain time, a transitions occurs where I feel like a weight would be lifted from within my body or my body would become lighter and also my mind clearer. From stage of mind activity and thinking, I would transfer in a stage of no thought but just awareness and presence.
So during my midday nap, the main objective is to experience this sensation of transition from heaviness to lightness where I would become refreshed or reset and ready for a new action. But during the night sleep I guess there is a bit different process going on. But it makes sense that sleeping habits can be improved and thus maximum relaxation and regeneration achieved by using as little of sleeping time possible. This will be my challenge to research and implement in order to make more of my daily potentials.
In the couple of previous blog posts I analysed my sleeping habits and believes. Today my girlfriend shared another information or belief that each hour of sleep before midnight counts double comparing to each hour of slee after midnight. So for example if one goes to sleep at 10 pm, the first two hours of sleep count as four hours of sleep or as much as sleeping from 12 pm to 4 am. I don't know if this is a fact or if this really is true, but this motivated me in considering that I should also try getting to bed earlier and also waking up earlier. Thus today I will go to sleep at about 10 pm and see what will be the effect.
But now I want to write also abut my sleeping sensations. It was about 6 years ago when I started to notice a moving sensation when falling into sleep. When I firstly encountered this, I believed that I am experiencing an earthquake and I became frightened. After couple of similar experiences I became used to this sensation and began to understood what was really going on. The fact is that physical body is constantly shaking and vibrating or pulsating, but we somehow do not register that. The shaking is due to pulsation of the hearth or pumping blood throughout the entire body.
Think about this! Human body is quite large comparing to most of animal species and all the cells in every part of the body need a flow of fresh blood. It is about 2 meters from toes to top of the head and each part needs to be reached. It takes a massive force to pump the blood and hearth is doing this action by contracting and expanding approximately once or twice every single second. Every time when blood is pushed through the veins, the shockwave is created that shakes entire body. So couple of years ago, when I laid down into bed, within the process of falling into sleep I slowly started to feel this vibrations. And now this has become a standard sensation basically every time I go to bed or even lay down just for a short rest.
The next perception in regards sleeping is even more strange and somehow frustrating. It is about perception of time. The experience of time is very different and relative to motivation and also physical movement through the space. It is also very different to being awake and being asleep or unconscious. What bugs me the most is that sometimes when I go to bed for my famous 20 minute midday nap, I set the clock to ring after 20 minutes. Then I relax and wait for the clock to ring. Sometimes when it rings, I perceive it like just 3 second have past since I went to bed and not 20 minutes! So the time duration of sleep somehow does not really matte.
What basically creates the effect of being rested is very specific event that happens during the rest. I observed it for many times and it is like this. Firstly I lay down and totally relax every all the muscles on my body. Then I usually start to feel shaking of the body, like a gentle earthquake. Then after certain time, a transitions occurs where I feel like a weight would be lifted from within my body or my body would become lighter and also my mind clearer. From stage of mind activity and thinking, I would transfer in a stage of no thought but just awareness and presence.
So during my midday nap, the main objective is to experience this sensation of transition from heaviness to lightness where I would become refreshed or reset and ready for a new action. But during the night sleep I guess there is a bit different process going on. But it makes sense that sleeping habits can be improved and thus maximum relaxation and regeneration achieved by using as little of sleeping time possible. This will be my challenge to research and implement in order to make more of my daily potentials.
08 April 2013
Day 8: My sleeping habits analysis continued
Post for Day 7 is in my Slovenian blog
Today was a day when I watched movies until 1 am and I went to sleep feeling great since I watched a very fun sweet 16 movie with a great life lesson. But at the same time I felt bad and guilty since I went to sleep so late. I set my alarm clock to wake up at 7 am, so just after 6 hours of sleep. But when it rang I started thinking that I have not received enough sleep so I pressed snooze a couple of times and was able to get out of bed not before 8 am.
It is funny how strong I believe that I need at least 7 hours of sleep. And this is simply due to mental perception and calculation. I read once that people who sleep 8 to 9 hours a day look better, age slower and look younger. And this is also why I want to sleep around 8 hours every night. I fell great when people ask about how old I am and I invite them to guess. Most people give me 10 years less that my real age and I give the contribution for this to my sleeping habits.
I don't know when and why I got this, but as long as I remember, I have some kind of vision that I will live about 130 years. And according to this vision, I also treat myself good, meaning that I care for my physical and emotion body, assure low level of stress, quality food and then of course quality sleeping time. I perceive sleeping as a very big contributor to my younger looks. I read that proper sleeping length has a very rejuvenating effect and I definitely want to apply it.
Then I have noticed, how the time system, the watches and clocks influence my daily activities extensively. I wish my life would be as simple as the life of animals, who do not have any time measuring instruments and can still live a full life. But people, we have invented devices that slice each day to hours, to minutes and to seconds. And 24 hours day and 365 days year system is nor perfect nor the only one in existence. Different countries measure time and days differently and it is only in near past where we began unifying time measuring systems.
I have researched other time measuring methods like Vedic and Mayan calendars and they are much more holistic and do not diminish the perception of cyclic cosmic events to such limited way as our 24/365 system that needs to leave out a whole day in every several years in order to realign. Measuring each day with the same clock has a great psychological effect. It creates a perception that each day is the same as the day before, while the Mayan calendar defines each day as very different, with different cosmic and planetary influences and is thus not to be treated equal.
My day is based on the visual perception the 12 hour clock image in my mind and perceive the movements of clock hands as climbing or descending. At 6 am the hand is at its lowest point and thus at 6 am want to stay in the bed. When clock hand starts its climb, I also get out of the bed. At noon I am full up and running. However at 3 pm the clock hand is in the middle of descend and I want to take a midday nap. At 6 pm the clock is again at its lowest and I prepare for fun activities. At 9 pm my mental activities diminish. However I do not want to go to bed yet. I want to experience the midnight hour since it is an important event of transition into a whole new day.
I wonder how would my life be if I would not have any clocks or watches, if I would not be able to know what time it is. Would I fell the same during the day? Definitely not. Currently I become tired basically because I see what time it is, then in my mind I immediately calculate how much time I have worked and conclude that I must be tired and I deserve the rest simply due to elapsed time that I calculated. This definitely is not the best way to live a life. I must figure out a different method of managing my life. I must not allow this to continue, for digits on the watch and hand of the clock to control my life to such extend. I will research alternatives in my next blog post.
Today was a day when I watched movies until 1 am and I went to sleep feeling great since I watched a very fun sweet 16 movie with a great life lesson. But at the same time I felt bad and guilty since I went to sleep so late. I set my alarm clock to wake up at 7 am, so just after 6 hours of sleep. But when it rang I started thinking that I have not received enough sleep so I pressed snooze a couple of times and was able to get out of bed not before 8 am.
It is funny how strong I believe that I need at least 7 hours of sleep. And this is simply due to mental perception and calculation. I read once that people who sleep 8 to 9 hours a day look better, age slower and look younger. And this is also why I want to sleep around 8 hours every night. I fell great when people ask about how old I am and I invite them to guess. Most people give me 10 years less that my real age and I give the contribution for this to my sleeping habits.
I don't know when and why I got this, but as long as I remember, I have some kind of vision that I will live about 130 years. And according to this vision, I also treat myself good, meaning that I care for my physical and emotion body, assure low level of stress, quality food and then of course quality sleeping time. I perceive sleeping as a very big contributor to my younger looks. I read that proper sleeping length has a very rejuvenating effect and I definitely want to apply it.
Then I have noticed, how the time system, the watches and clocks influence my daily activities extensively. I wish my life would be as simple as the life of animals, who do not have any time measuring instruments and can still live a full life. But people, we have invented devices that slice each day to hours, to minutes and to seconds. And 24 hours day and 365 days year system is nor perfect nor the only one in existence. Different countries measure time and days differently and it is only in near past where we began unifying time measuring systems.
I have researched other time measuring methods like Vedic and Mayan calendars and they are much more holistic and do not diminish the perception of cyclic cosmic events to such limited way as our 24/365 system that needs to leave out a whole day in every several years in order to realign. Measuring each day with the same clock has a great psychological effect. It creates a perception that each day is the same as the day before, while the Mayan calendar defines each day as very different, with different cosmic and planetary influences and is thus not to be treated equal.
My day is based on the visual perception the 12 hour clock image in my mind and perceive the movements of clock hands as climbing or descending. At 6 am the hand is at its lowest point and thus at 6 am want to stay in the bed. When clock hand starts its climb, I also get out of the bed. At noon I am full up and running. However at 3 pm the clock hand is in the middle of descend and I want to take a midday nap. At 6 pm the clock is again at its lowest and I prepare for fun activities. At 9 pm my mental activities diminish. However I do not want to go to bed yet. I want to experience the midnight hour since it is an important event of transition into a whole new day.
I wonder how would my life be if I would not have any clocks or watches, if I would not be able to know what time it is. Would I fell the same during the day? Definitely not. Currently I become tired basically because I see what time it is, then in my mind I immediately calculate how much time I have worked and conclude that I must be tired and I deserve the rest simply due to elapsed time that I calculated. This definitely is not the best way to live a life. I must figure out a different method of managing my life. I must not allow this to continue, for digits on the watch and hand of the clock to control my life to such extend. I will research alternatives in my next blog post.
06 April 2013
Day 6: Someone stole my windscreen wiper
You can find my Day 5 blog post in my Slovenian blog
Yesterday it was raining and I had to make a delivery in the town. I decided to take my car that has been parked for couple of days around the corner of nearby building. When I started driving and turned on the windscreen wipers, I was shocked since instead of wiper wiping the raindrops off the windscreen, I bare steel wiper handle scratched the glass. Someone has stolen my wiper! It was friday evening and the car repair shop was already closed. So I decided to make a delivery in spite of my wipers being broken.
After delivery I decided to go to the nearest gas pump and check out if they have the wipers on stock. The pump girl asked me what length of wipers do I need. I did not know that, so I firstly checked the car instructions and there was also no information about that. So I call the car assistance telephone number and asked for the data.
I told them the car brand and model and the operator asked if I need the information for the right or the left wiper. I said that my car has only one wiper handle, but the operator insisted that my car model has two handles. I then checked the wiper again and found out that in deed my car model had two handles, but they did not only steal the wiper from the handle, but completely broke off the second metal handle and I did not notice that in the first place since I was quite under shock. So I decided to wait for the next morning and drive my car to the car shop immediately when they open at 8 am.
After arriving to the car shop next morning, I told the shop receptionist what happend and if they can assist me. They did not had the handle for my car model on stock so I placed an order and it is expected to be delivered on Monday afternoon. This quite thwarted my business plans since I expected to do several business house meetings on Sunday. I will have to see if it will stop raining tomorrow and if I will be able to do the visits in spite ob broken wipers. And the total wipers repair costs is estimated to be about 100 €, so I am also not very happy about additional unexpected cost.
Now I am thinking about if I shall report this car part theft and damage to the police or if this is such a small event they they would not want to bother. Then I am thinking that if it would be better to always park my car in the front of my house where I can see it from my windows and where it would also be near a security camera of nearby Italian embassy. I am thinking about who and why did someone do this to me, if this was a targeted act or a random theft and why they not only stole both wipers but also broke one wiper handle that they would also not be able to use or sell since it is broken.
I am angry that someone did this damage to my car that will take my time and money to restore. Was this a pure vandalism? Did someone see the wipers as opportunity to get some valuable object that could be sold and exchanged for drugs or something? And what can I do now to prevent similar event to happen in the future?
Yesterday it was raining and I had to make a delivery in the town. I decided to take my car that has been parked for couple of days around the corner of nearby building. When I started driving and turned on the windscreen wipers, I was shocked since instead of wiper wiping the raindrops off the windscreen, I bare steel wiper handle scratched the glass. Someone has stolen my wiper! It was friday evening and the car repair shop was already closed. So I decided to make a delivery in spite of my wipers being broken.
After delivery I decided to go to the nearest gas pump and check out if they have the wipers on stock. The pump girl asked me what length of wipers do I need. I did not know that, so I firstly checked the car instructions and there was also no information about that. So I call the car assistance telephone number and asked for the data.
I told them the car brand and model and the operator asked if I need the information for the right or the left wiper. I said that my car has only one wiper handle, but the operator insisted that my car model has two handles. I then checked the wiper again and found out that in deed my car model had two handles, but they did not only steal the wiper from the handle, but completely broke off the second metal handle and I did not notice that in the first place since I was quite under shock. So I decided to wait for the next morning and drive my car to the car shop immediately when they open at 8 am.
After arriving to the car shop next morning, I told the shop receptionist what happend and if they can assist me. They did not had the handle for my car model on stock so I placed an order and it is expected to be delivered on Monday afternoon. This quite thwarted my business plans since I expected to do several business house meetings on Sunday. I will have to see if it will stop raining tomorrow and if I will be able to do the visits in spite ob broken wipers. And the total wipers repair costs is estimated to be about 100 €, so I am also not very happy about additional unexpected cost.
Now I am thinking about if I shall report this car part theft and damage to the police or if this is such a small event they they would not want to bother. Then I am thinking that if it would be better to always park my car in the front of my house where I can see it from my windows and where it would also be near a security camera of nearby Italian embassy. I am thinking about who and why did someone do this to me, if this was a targeted act or a random theft and why they not only stole both wipers but also broke one wiper handle that they would also not be able to use or sell since it is broken.
I am angry that someone did this damage to my car that will take my time and money to restore. Was this a pure vandalism? Did someone see the wipers as opportunity to get some valuable object that could be sold and exchanged for drugs or something? And what can I do now to prevent similar event to happen in the future?
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become shocked when I noticed that my car wipers are not as I would expected to be, since anything can happen with any object that I possess and am surrounded with, especially since they are accessible also to other beings in my community.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to worry about what might happen to my possession in the future instead of realizing that everything in this physical existence is subject to change and under influence of many forces, events and beings that are part of this world.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to realize that everything on this world is borrowed to me just for a short time from birth to death and when I die I will leave everything behind so it is best all the time to be aware of that fact and not get attached to anything outside of me.
- I commit myself to all the time focus on my breath and observe my surrounding as it is in this very moment and accept the current state pf physical reality without any expectations about how it should be.
- I commit myself to always work only with what is here and use the endless opportunities to reach my goals and objections in any possible way that is available.
- I commit myself to change the world system so that it will support all basic needs of all living being in this world by implementing Equal Money System that will also remove the need of theft or taking away the possessions of other in order to support oneself.
04 April 2013
Day 4: A TV production crew will shoot my portrait
You can find my Day 3 blog post in my Slovenian blog
I am very excited since in half an hour I expect a TV production crew to arrive at my apartment. They intend to shoot a video portrait of my personality. Final product will be a 5-minute long movie but expected time of video recording in my apartment and in nearby park is to be about 6 hours. The edited video is to be aired on about 18th of April 2013 in a new TV show on our biggest commercial TV stations.
The reason they decided to do a movie portrait of me is because a couple of weeks ago I sold one of the last pieces of my professional video equipment to the nearby video production company that shoots ads and show for several national TV stations. It was the young director of Studio Produkcija who ordered me to bring the video equipment for display and at that time I also gave him my business card.
Later this director checked out my web site and noticed a series of my 30 short videos where I explained different perspectives about human mind, feelings and emotions in order for prospect who seek psychological counseling and coaching to know more about my approach and decide to book a meeting with me. Director became very impressed about the videos and decided to call me since they are just producing a new TV show with a multiple times awarded radio host Denis Avdič.
I expect the airing of my video portrait will assist me in expanding my public recognition and this could result also in getting more customers for my Zakladi življenja business and preparation to my planned political career of implementing Equal Money System. So my transition from being on the back of the camera while working for about 10 years as professional photographer, to becoming one of the characters on the front of cameras is becoming more and more real.
Let us now see how the shooting will turn out and what will be the final product and its effect on my business and public opinion.
I am very excited since in half an hour I expect a TV production crew to arrive at my apartment. They intend to shoot a video portrait of my personality. Final product will be a 5-minute long movie but expected time of video recording in my apartment and in nearby park is to be about 6 hours. The edited video is to be aired on about 18th of April 2013 in a new TV show on our biggest commercial TV stations.
The reason they decided to do a movie portrait of me is because a couple of weeks ago I sold one of the last pieces of my professional video equipment to the nearby video production company that shoots ads and show for several national TV stations. It was the young director of Studio Produkcija who ordered me to bring the video equipment for display and at that time I also gave him my business card.
Later this director checked out my web site and noticed a series of my 30 short videos where I explained different perspectives about human mind, feelings and emotions in order for prospect who seek psychological counseling and coaching to know more about my approach and decide to book a meeting with me. Director became very impressed about the videos and decided to call me since they are just producing a new TV show with a multiple times awarded radio host Denis Avdič.
I expect the airing of my video portrait will assist me in expanding my public recognition and this could result also in getting more customers for my Zakladi življenja business and preparation to my planned political career of implementing Equal Money System. So my transition from being on the back of the camera while working for about 10 years as professional photographer, to becoming one of the characters on the front of cameras is becoming more and more real.
Let us now see how the shooting will turn out and what will be the final product and its effect on my business and public opinion.
02 April 2013
Day 2: Influence of other being on my life
Since I have started to listen to Desteni videos, especially vlogs and interdimentional interviews, I realized, how much each one of us has been influenced by the structure of systems in this reality that extends beyond what human physical senses can detect.
Similar to electromagnetic radio, TV and mobile phone signals that we can not see, however they do in fact exist, how can we know what other systems and frequency transmissions we have been and are exposed without ever noticing. We may perceive that we have a free well, that we live in a free world but we can not know how extensive we are influenced by many intangible things.
Out thoughts appear in our minds without knowing how they are produced, where they come from and if anyone else is producing them and thus controlling us. Some say certain thoughts are from devil, some from angels, some from god or higher me, so the question is then how to know the origin and starting points of this voices in our heads and the emotional energies that are produced as the result of the following of those thoughts.
Similar to electromagnetic radio, TV and mobile phone signals that we can not see, however they do in fact exist, how can we know what other systems and frequency transmissions we have been and are exposed without ever noticing. We may perceive that we have a free well, that we live in a free world but we can not know how extensive we are influenced by many intangible things.
Out thoughts appear in our minds without knowing how they are produced, where they come from and if anyone else is producing them and thus controlling us. Some say certain thoughts are from devil, some from angels, some from god or higher me, so the question is then how to know the origin and starting points of this voices in our heads and the emotional energies that are produced as the result of the following of those thoughts.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to take my thought for granted without every really investigating where they come from and how they influence my life.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be directed by outside influences without making sure that starting point of each of my action is what is best for all.
- I forgive myself not to stand up and take full responsibility for my life but instead allowing to be directed by thought and energy polarity of positive and negative feelings.
- I commit myself to research all the intangible influences on me and my life and exposing them for what they are.
- I commit myself to stop the influence of thoughts, emotions and feelings by focusing on my breath whenever I notica a thought in my mind without me being its creator.
- I commit myself to direct myself in every single breath aligned wit the principle of equality and what is best for all.
01 April 2013
Day 1: Understanding energy
After completing DIP Lite free online course where I established a habit of daily writing, I am now joining the 7-years daily blogging challenge for Life. This means that for the next 7 years I am committing myself to regularly each day write at least a short blog post that will assist me in realizing and changing some of my thinking and habit patterns that are not based on the principles of equality and what is best for all. Since I already am having two blogs; this one in English language and the other one in Slovenian language, I decided to write every first day in my English and every second day in my Slovenian blog.
So for the first entry of my 7-years Journey to Life challenge I will start by realization how extensively energy of the mind controls my life. For example in the past days I have been involved in a new business launch preparation activities where I was to to a lot of thinking, planning and decision making. By trying to estimate and predict what would be the consequences of different decisions, I tried to figure out the one that would lead to desired results.
Within this thinking I noticed that I started to feel more heavier and heavier until I lost the will to work and I had to take some rest. Usually a 20 minutes nap in my bed assist with recuperating myself until I would become motivated again for the work. While resting I notice that I start to thing in a subconscious way where all the thought and ideas come together and then subconsciously I come to some conclusion that launches me up and gives me a new momentum. Within that I start to feel light or weightless and I immediately go to action.
Common people could say this kind of working process in normal and usual, however I have watched a couple of days a video titled Self Change through Self Movement: DAY 332 where it was explain how this process of work is very limited and that there are better ways to move yourself in this reality. It is in fact living in a polarity of positive and negative energy instead of releasing oneself from the influence of mind energy in totality and directing yourself in every breath as life.
And while doing research on education, I realized how extensively I was influenced by playing the computer games, working with computer, watching TV and practicing masturbation in my childhood years and how this made me extensively addicted to mind energy and need for mind stimulation. I became more and more isolated and not very socialized, satisfied by my own bubble of reality where computers and TV screen became my world of choice within I could enjoy the stimulation of pictures, sounds and feeling of achievement.
So for the first entry of my 7-years Journey to Life challenge I will start by realization how extensively energy of the mind controls my life. For example in the past days I have been involved in a new business launch preparation activities where I was to to a lot of thinking, planning and decision making. By trying to estimate and predict what would be the consequences of different decisions, I tried to figure out the one that would lead to desired results.
Within this thinking I noticed that I started to feel more heavier and heavier until I lost the will to work and I had to take some rest. Usually a 20 minutes nap in my bed assist with recuperating myself until I would become motivated again for the work. While resting I notice that I start to thing in a subconscious way where all the thought and ideas come together and then subconsciously I come to some conclusion that launches me up and gives me a new momentum. Within that I start to feel light or weightless and I immediately go to action.
Common people could say this kind of working process in normal and usual, however I have watched a couple of days a video titled Self Change through Self Movement: DAY 332 where it was explain how this process of work is very limited and that there are better ways to move yourself in this reality. It is in fact living in a polarity of positive and negative energy instead of releasing oneself from the influence of mind energy in totality and directing yourself in every breath as life.
And while doing research on education, I realized how extensively I was influenced by playing the computer games, working with computer, watching TV and practicing masturbation in my childhood years and how this made me extensively addicted to mind energy and need for mind stimulation. I became more and more isolated and not very socialized, satisfied by my own bubble of reality where computers and TV screen became my world of choice within I could enjoy the stimulation of pictures, sounds and feeling of achievement.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the computer and TV screen to become my main door to experience reality of this life instead of realizing that most of people do even not have electricity and thus no computer.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed watching movies to become my favorite way of relaxing when starting to feel tired instead of realizing that it only creates more stress in my mind and filles me with additional pictures of scenes and more information that I then have to process and digest.
- I commit myself that when I star to feel tired I take a deep breath and do some proper rest and work with information that is here and move myself within this physical reality.
- I commit myself to do more research within physical interaction with other people by attending social event instead of being lazy and only observing people via computer and social networks such as FaceBook.
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