Day 111: The time is now

Has it really been already 3 days since I wrote my last blog post? Time moves fast! So much to do and such a short day. But I could do it more. I plan each day but plans then change. Some people change their minds, something else comes up, the weather goes bad, there are accidents. And so each day passes with me asking myself what I could do different? How could I make better use of daily potentials?

A good friend today reminded me: There is no one except us. We are the one. We have the possibility to do everything, to do anything. So I think big, make great plans, but they need to be executed step by step, breath by breath. All this brings great responsibility, but also many potentials. Awareness that one can create whatever it imagines and beyond.

Being master of yourself, a self-directive principle, boss of your every single move, this is a big challenge. In a way I wish there to be some others who would make a decisions and then just tell me what to do, however that would also diminish me, make me a slave. I picked the hard way noe, the narrow path, however I can go wherever I want. I am free now, but also responsible for everything I do.

No more excuses are possible, no more blame, no more anger, no more envy. Enemies from outsides have disappeared. Now the only enemy that is left is inside. The mind, the energy, the force that pulls me down, that makes me feel heavy and tired. I could fight it with lighter, brighter positive energy, however this would not be permanent solution. A polarity of positive and negative, of ups and downs is no way to live life. This is no solution.

Thus one can face it only one bite at a time, becoming aware of it, breathing it deeply in and distributing it equally. Yes, this is the answer. Equality is the way. Doing what is best for all, not allowing any more energy to move me. Just moving yourself as the physical. Based on simple decision. Following ones own principle. The principle that is best for all. Braves are the one who pick this path. An agenda of Heaven on Earth. But it can be done.

It can be done if we stand up together. It can be done if we remove all fear and create ultimate trust. It can be done if we all collaborate towards one single goal. And if that goal is best for all, then it is also best for every individual. A simple plan, the only way to solve all the mess in this world once and for all. Fortunately we are now facing time where possibility of reaching this goals is greater than ever. Thanks to technology, we are able to connect, to see big picture, to become aware of what we have done.

There are no more excuses now. All have equal opportunity to understand, to see what are the consequences of our actions. Selfishness can not be tolerated anymore. We are all in this together. We all share the same existence and we all influence each other. There is no more place for the separation, for the illusion that mind has inflicted. We must not be blind anymore, but opened our eyes wide and face it all courageously. So let's do it while there is still time.

Day 110: Overcoming addiction to sex energy

After I have realized the devastating consequences of participating in the mind, the first step was to stop fueling my mind with the energy of orgasm. I completely stopped watching porn and did not masturbate ever since, nor engaged in any sex activities. I was also very careful about any sexual thoughts during meetings with females. So I am quite satisfied with my self and will commit to celibacy until further.

Now the next step is to overcome addiction to watching movies. I do not possess a TV set, however there are more than enough action pictures on YouTube. And also FaceBook activities tend to be very time-consuming. One of challenges is also to discipline myself in regards to going into bed and waking up.

Many times during the day I experience a feeling of heaviness in my body and I want to rest. Computers definitely effect me since they offer so many potentials but there is also immense speed of change and development in technology that puts one in a state of never achieving the goals. There is no point of stability in this race of information and progress.

Physical of course is the point of stability, like my apartment, the hardware, my body, the breath, however our world system forces each of us to do something, to work, all for the sake of producing profit and money. And there are also things that we consume, like food that needs to be produced, distributed, cooked, eaten and defecated.

I am listening to the audio series about Atlanteans and their civilization on land and water. They expressed by manifesting sound crystals, however they took care for absolute stability and equilibrium in all of existence. Thus everything was the same and nothing changed. The question thus is it best to everything be the same and thus point of complete stability, or do we need constant change in order to be satisfied?

For better self-support I decide now to re-engage in DIP Pro course and continue where I stopped two years ago, so SRA Level 2, Lesson 10. And I will be also working on additional lessons for redefining words. I sent my first assignment to Andrea and am waiting for her response.

Day 109: Releasing the energy

I have now downloaded all the free audios from Eqafe store and have been listening them for the last two days during my walks in the forest and driving around the city. Audios assisted me in realizing the source and nature of the energy and how it sucks life out of the physical until it destroys it completely. Thus I am now more careful about any energetic movement in my body and stop the energy by breathing until it dissipates.

I also went back through my memories of sex and masturbation experiences and realized how the experience of mind orgasm always influenced my physical body. During movement of my penis, I would feel the connection of the points on my penis with my legs. I felt how the tension in my legs would accumulate simultaneously with the accumulation of the sexual energy in my genitals and at the time of orgasm, legs tension would completely paralyze me. Also after orgasm I would feel exhausted and my mind would possess me even more, rendering me incapable of self-movement.

Years ago I started to notice, how lower part of legs would be cold, but I did not pay much attention to it. I concluded this to be normal and I also connected this with me sitting all the time since I have been working extensively with computers from mornings to evenings. Now I can also make strong connection with the activities of the mind, especially with the sex system. Orgasm extracted the energy out of my legs and now they have become very cold. I went once to the Chinese medicine specialist and was very surprised how cold they were and they also sweat a lot during the summer.

So good bye energy and welcome life. I commit myself to release the mind and birth myself from the physical. When I see my mind move or experience andy energetic movements, I focus an breathing until I am again here in the physical and all the energy is gone. I move my body and experiment with all kinds of expressions through movement. Maybe I will build also a special experimental ground in the woods somewhere where physical movement could be expressed in its fullest.

Day 108: Relationship addiction

In relation to listening of What is Sex audios and Bernard Poolman's death based on a heart attack, I became more aware of sexual anergy connections and associations that I created in regards to sex, energy of orgasm and relationships. Also the interviews of death experiences enabled me to understand the process of dying from a new perspective where the extensive influence of the mind or mind-consciousness system is exposed. That created additional motivation to change my habits, especially in regards to masturbation and watching porn.

What I have noticed was that I in a way enjoy being single and master of my time, having peace and silence whenever I want, however a part of me desires to be in a relationship with a woman of specific characteristics, not only for sex, but also as a business associate. I understand this desire is mostly the product of influence from society and my parents who want me to be in relationship, get married and have kids. However many successful people are single since having a steady partner is too much of obligation and time-consuming situation.

In spite of being satisfied with me as being a single person, I occasionally find myself fantasizing to engage in sex or relationship with some young, beautiful woman. This fantasies can be triggered simply by looking at some picture of random FaceBook profile or watching some movie trailer or even meeting some person in flesh. I then imagine myself being with this person and start thinking about how to contact this person in order to find out if she would be a proper partner for me.

Within this thinking I evaluate all the characteristics of the person, like if they smoke and drink, if they are intelligent and educated, if I would like the tone of their voice and smell of their skin and also if they would be willing to start a process of self-honesty and collaborate in business projects with me. I then very quickly conclude that it is a very small chance that some person on the photo would be fully qualified in regards to all that demands and that it would probably be waste of time trying to contact them and research their personality.

However sometimes I would stumble on some photo of a woman that I would find especially attractive, and I don't mean in terms of just being pretty like a photo model or a beauty queen, but there would be a certain face characteristics of a person that I interpret like being very open and relaxed person, exactly the personality type that I always desired. I would then research the profile of the person for example discover that this person is already in relationship or married or even has kids. This realization would trigger a great disappointment and sorrow, that sometimes accumulates into a hearth arrhythmia or a small heart attack.

When I experience this kind of heart problem, I have to immediately bring myself back here, focus on my breathing and stop daydreaming. So this is definitely a proof that mind creates nothing but troubles and can even create a massive heart attack that results in death. This can especially manifest during sex when, as I learned from the inter-dimensional audios, heart literally stops every time when the orgasm is experienced. I will have to become more careful about participating in the mind before it is to late and the mind would destroy my physical body beyond repair.

Day 107: Bernard Poolman died

Days from 99 to 106 are in my Slovenian blog.

It came as a shock when I noticed a blog post that Bernard Poolman died. His daughter Cerise Poolman published that he passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning, 11 August 2013 (SA time) and that his heart stopped beating.

Bernard was my dear friend and a role-model. I had privilege to meet him when I visited Desteni farm two years ago. Based on the work he had done, he can from my perspective be easily compared to Jesus or Buddha. I did not expect him to go so soon, since he was working on the extensive life research and I expected that he has access to knowledge that would enable him to live forever. However I learned that the dimensions of existence that he researched and influenced also demanded from him immense effort so he suffered great pain end pressure while dealing with all the systems.

He influenced and supported me in a very unusual, but effective way. After years of visiting many spiritual workshops, retreats and paying thousand of euros for Reiki, Angelic and other alternative medicine therapies that did not work at all, Bernard assisted me greatly. When I was at the dinner table in the Desteni farm kitchen, we had a conversation. I did not said to him verbally, however in my mind I was saying to him: “Here I am now. I have come here for you to destroy me. Now do it!". And he did. He destroyed me with greater intensity that I ever imagined.

By destroying me, I mean destroying my ego, my false self, my mind that I tried to destroy myself for many years but nothing worked. I knew that gurus and healers are fakers. They just stroked my ego and I required a firm hand to beat the hell out of me. Bernard had his ways, only few people understood why he was doing thing the way he did, but he was exactly what I needed. He was not afraid to speak what he wanted to convey, all he wanted was the truth and what is best for all. He stood up for all living beings bravely and heroically.

My most prominent point was fear of judgement from others. I feared expressing myself and thus developed quiet, introverted personality who was hiding behind computers and cameras. Bernard discovered this right away and gave me a lesson that I will never forget. Now, thanks to his support, I fear no more. I stand up firmly and do not care what others think. And I also learned to support others in similar ways that Bernard supported me. Some are so caught in their minds, so possessed with love and light that need a firms shaking before they realize their bull shit fakery.

I will continue the fight he started, I will keep beating the hell out of me and out of others, until all evil will be removed from this world. The destruction of life must stop, the mind must stop. We have lived in separation for too long. It is time that we learn the lessons, open our eyes and realize what we are doing to self and others. We can do much better than this. We can create a world full of abundance and prosperity. We can create heaven on earth. And we will!

Day 98: A kitty cat

A friend brought a kitty cat to my apartment and it was very fun watching the young animal how it researched the rooms, played with the hanging plant and showed off towards tit's own mage in the mirror. Who would thought that such a small being can be so interesting. It made my day and I laughed watching it and caressing it's furry body was a very nice feeling.

I like cats since they are very clean animals. They lick their fur clean and they do not smell. However there is a downside to cats. They have a very smelly piss and shit. And kittens are no exceptions. So when it made its thing somewhere on the floor of my apartment I was not pleased at all. If I would to keep it I would have to train it to make it's need in the specific place or take it outside. 

Well the plan was not to keep it in the first place since the friend just took it with me for a visit. We then drove to a new farm of our friends who had not yet any cats ant they were very happy to keep it. There friends had two children age about 7 and when they played with the kitten the day when we delivered it, I was shocked about the way how they treated it. They were spinning it and throwing it the air like it was some kind a toy and not a living being.

I was glad that father gave the child a lesson by grabbing him and pushing him in the same manner as he did wit the cat. The child felt very unpleasant and it started to cry but it got the lesson very clearly. Humans are so separate from the reality, living in our minds and not capable of real compassion towards fellow living beings. I would like us to treat animals in the same way we treat fellow humans or even better. There are a great audio recordings about Pets and Owners in the Eqafe.com store that I recommend listening in order to increase understanding how animals perceive us. 

Day 97: The richest man in the world

I just watched a short documentary about Warren Buffett who is the richest man in the world. Well he and Bill Gates take turns each year, but I think you get the point. Watching this movie is the part of my agenda to learn from the rich in order to copy their behavior and eventually also become rich.

While watching the movie some facts surprised me very much. He has a very simple philosophy about how to pick the investments and how to make money on the long term. However, what surprised me the most is how he eats junk food like burgers and Coca Cola and does not care very much about healthy diet. Also what surprised me was that he invested in businesses like Coca Cola and large corporations and that made him multi billionaire. He does not care what the impact of companies is on the society, the basic objective is that he profits from the business and that he makes a lot of money. Also he does not use computers and calculators to make detailed calculations but only reads paper reports abut the businesses and then decides to buy them mostly without even visiting the company or knowing the manager of the company that he buys face to face. 

Documentary firstly shoes his public image and many of his followers that want to pick his brain and also become very rich by hearing what he has to say and reading his autobiographies. However at the end some information is disclosed where it is clear that there is more than meets the eye. He does not only invest in companies directly but also trades stocks and other financial instruments and these bring him the most money without most of the people ever realizing this fact. So it is clear that a simple documentary can not show all the real facts about how Mr. Buffett earned billions and we can only speculate about how he creates all the immense money-flow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel anger towards Mr. Buffett when noticing that he eats and drinks junk food and that he supports manufacturers of junk food due to believe that big brand like Coca Coca have done nothing good for the society instead of realizing that by being angry towards others does not assist me or others in any way possible.

I commit myself to research the ways how rich people make money but then engage and invest in businesses that assist people to improve their health and quality of life.