This man is in his fifties, has a house near our city swimming pool with large and robust forged iron fence around, a large slimy dog and about thirty years old son. He has been a manager of our local swimming club, who is the most successful in our country and the selector of our national swimming team. He has also competed in swimming when he was young and his son is also involved in swimming as a teacher. He moved to our region from other part of our country, which is know by its vineyards and a lot more calm people than here, where we all rush, compete and envy to each others.
We started to cooperate in business manner about five years ago and I have become official graphic designer and photographer for the local swimming club and I also shot events and made a lot of designs for the national swimming team and international swimming events, organized by the National Swimming Association of Slovenia. He is a great manager and organizer, he trusted me and gave me a full freedom to express myself as graphic designer and photographer, and there was never the problem regarding money. All my invoices have been payed in time and by the sum of money made, he was one of, if not the largest of my customers. He was very skilled at raising money from different sponsors that I also included and promoted in my design works for the club.
But a few years ago he stopped the orders. This was also the time when I decided to slowly redirect my services to psychological services. I found out that he started to order designs at some of the design student who was also the active member of the swimming club. I found out that this decision was made in order for the club to save money, since her designs were more cheaper, but also lesser quality. However the quality of her work was good enough for the club, and the club also wanted to support her since she was an active member of the club. I was disappointed about stopping working for the club, also since I was not directly explained about that decision, they have cut me off like I became useless for them.
This guy, the manager of the club at that time, decided to run for the mayor office and also became the mayor of our city a few months ago. He really does know how to impress people, how to please them, is good at handling money, making connections and providing the progress. He never deletes anyone from his phone address book and is able to direct attention effectively in order to reach the goals. His campaign was great, he made himself available for anyone in person, had a nice web site and published special editions of the newspaper, to present his program and himself as a reliable and capable person. But there are also some points that he did not excel at the way I expected.
The first point was his cold attitude of cutting me off the swimming club without giving a try to even speak to me one word about it. Then while he was at the pre-elections stand, we talked and he complained how his eyesight is getting worse. I explained him that this is due some mind patterns that he holds to and that prevents him to see the full picture. I suggested him that he invites me to his place, so I can introduce him the Desteni solutions of self-realization and also the political solutions that are very important to understand if he really wants to support all the people as one and equal while playing the role of a mayor. He gave me his word that he will invite me even before elections, but he did not fulfill his promise. I then sent him an email and have also visited the office of the mayor after he was elected, but he did not invite me for a meeting yet.
So this man has been at some points a role model for me, since he was a very successful at his job, was able to raise money, payed all the bills in time and appreciated the work I did. However he is very goal-oriented, supported competition and elitism, and was not able to be really intimately and opened share himself with others. His communication was very narrow oriented, only to have the effect in fulfilling his self-interest. Of course he also provided for others, but only for those, who he saw as a part of his equation to assist him at reaching his goals. I am sure he will also be successful at his function as a mayor, but his narrow view and limited understanding of himself and the world will prevent him from taking care of all the living being equally, so he will be facing many difficulties and will unconsciously do a lot of harm to others if he does not decide to become totally self-honest and start to see the bigger picture.
In my dreams he came to me, very high spirited, ordered my photography services and telling me that my photos will be awesome fantastic, that people will be amazed when they will see them and that we will perform a fantastic show for the people. He came with great enthusiasm and trust, believed in me and my professional abilities, knew how to raise my spirit, how to inspire me and present me a picture of delightful future, so I could feel very good and was looking forward to engage and produce excellent photos. But regardless of his positive attitude, I knew deep inside that there is something wrong, that I am not able to communicate with him as one and equal, since whenever I started some conversation that was outside his field of interest, he would not be able to pay attention to what I was saying, looking around and trying to escape away from me.
Thus I have recognized that his as a faker, who does not really give a damn about what is best for all. I have imagined how I would be able to support him to perform his political function with consideration of the needs of every single living being on this planet, but he decided not to listen to me. He proved that he can not be trusted and that there is no point of loosing any more time by trying to arrange a meeting with him. This is why I have decided to enter the politics also myself, since it is hard to find someone who is completely self-hones and is willing to listen. Many have large ego issues and are failing to make the necessary change that would stop this system of abuse in this world. Slowly but surely, I will do my best to be the one that can be trusted completely and to work for the benefit of all life equally.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be fooled by nice word of others, feeling good when they would praise me and my work, instead of realizing that those people are masters of emotional manipulation and that their starting point is only self-interest.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that becoming rich is the goal that I also need to achieve and that money is the result of being committed and obliging person, instead of realizing that money in this system is the result of deceiving and exploiting others, and that what matters in self-honesty at all times, since we are all inter-connected, a part of one reality and in the long run, all can be provided only if we cooperate and share all the resources equally.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself the feeling of resentment after I lost my swimming club business, since I also changed my suppliers many times without explaining them why. What I must do is let go of all my past, any single attachment to my work, remain here in breath and maintain awareness that the change is the only constant in this reality and that I need to accept it the way it is, without any expectations of how reality must be.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to admire any person, defining it as something more than myself and producing the feeling of adoration, instead of realizing that I am equal to any person, that I can also achieve any goal if I want to, and that what it counts is not what goals anyone achieves, but what is the person as the living being, how it is aligned with the principle of equality and how it supports all life as one and equal.