Day 96: Money Money Money

Days from 92 to 95 are in my Slovenian blog

I was thinking lately about my mind patterns in regards to money. I asked myself why I was not able to generate wealth with the same ease as some others did. So I decided now to write these points out and see what I discover and realize within that.

As every child I became used for parents to provide for everything I needed. My father was firstly employed in the factory but then started our family business. Even though I was formally employed in our company I have not been receiving salary but had to ask parents to buy me stuff or give me some allowance. Only at age of 25 when I moved to my own apartment and won to work only 8 hours per day, I started to receive salary.

And also then my parents pressured me to continue to work at our or their company and supported me in buying my own apartment. At age of 27 I registered my own business and started earning money on my own. Since I had no expenses with the rent, I generated enough income very easy. I worked just for couple of hours a day and earned enough for the food and invested the rest in the research and development of the projects that I liked.

Three years ago I decided to sell my apartment and move to Ljubljana capital city. I decided for a big apartment where I would live and also work in my studio. The rent was very high and also additional monthly costs. However due to large sum of money from the apartment sale I did not worry about running out of money soon. However now after three years of investing in projects and spending money on travel and networking, I got myself unprepared for the fact that all the money is gone.

I kinda lost track of how much money I have and how much money I need to generate in order to stay in the big expensive apartment. Also the economic situation did its toll and from the business services that I offered there were not enough clients to cover all the expenses. Thus I recently decided to move to smaller and cheaper apartment. Now I am thinking what I have to do in order to improve my financial situation and raise myself high up from the ashes. 

During my regular walks in the nearby hills with the woods I find myself surrounded by plants and think about how Mother Nature is giving us all what we need for free. And we the humans then put price tags on things and sell them to each other. All the land is owned by someone and if you want to have stuff, you have to have money. This fact about money and putting price tags to things that are free seems to me very bizarre and unnatural.

Thus I also find very difficult putting the price tags on my services and deciding what the values of my products should be. I would rather do things for free but this is unrealistic in the system that we currently have. So even though I would rather change the system into something like Equal Money System where a dignified life is unconditionally guaranteed for all, I have to consider current state of reality and then create changes within and as the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to give up due to believe that current world system is all fucked up, that humans are parasites and that it is best for the world for all humans to die out instead of realizing that self-pity and blame is unproductive and I just waste my life and potentials.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to track my incomes and outcomes and thus not being aware of my current financial status instead of realizing that tracking money flow is the foundation of successful human life in the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that if I charge money for my services I within this take money from other people and thus they will have less money instead of realizing that the function of money is to exchange products and services and that money is a recyclable medium.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perceive that people do not have money due to financial crisis and thus bearing to charge money for my services to others instead of realizing that currently there is only about 13% rate of unemployment in our country which means that 87% people have jobs and thus also money and that I can also sell my services to basically anywhere in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to associate business success and wealth with stressful life instead of realizing that rich people manage up to 50 different companies however they use methods of time and priority management where they delegate their employees and thus have even more time freedom that working alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge in watching movies for many hours per days, thinking that that would relax me and free from the anxiety of my life challenges instead of realizing that watching pictures is dumbing my brain down and turning me into even more lazy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rich people are corrupt and have gathered their money only by criminal activities instead of realizing that everyone's life story is different and that some could be involved in some dirty business, however there are also a lot of hones and supportive ways of making money where a great value is added to society and this world.

I commit myself to read books every morning every evening as suggested my successful people since leaders are readers and reading is very important to develop focus and become more effective in this world.

I commit myself to keep detailed record of all my incomes and outcomes to the last cent and do weekly and monthly stats of my income, outcomes and profit since this is a must for every person who wants to live successful life in the current money system.

I commit myself to associate with wealthy people and get advise about what they do in order to I also become equally successful since if you want to become someone, you have to mimic these people.

Day 91: Relationship polarity games

Yesterday my ex girlfriend called me and started crying since her father that she is living with assaulted her and she became afraid that he woud stab her with a knife and kill her. Thus in order to safe her life she went to the woods and spent the night under the trees.

I tried to support my ex girlfriend within three years of living together in realizing that all the violent people came into her life due to her specific behavior patterns that she accepted and allowed. However she refused to engage in the process of behavior transformation. She is like addicted to the energy of bad feelings which she experiences when people are psychical or physical abusive towards hers. And if she will not stop this, she is doomed. It is the same pattern that also my mother lived and it resulted in her making a suicide couple of years ago.

I talked to my current neighbor that worked as a social worker but is retired now. She was met with many cases of home violence and she learned that in every violent relationship there are two people with polarity behavior pattens that attract each other. One plays a role of being abusive person and the other plays a role of a victim. However each one of them need each other in order to continue with this role playing. So just one of them is required to change the pattern and the relationship changes immediately.

Abusive and violent relationship is in fact a learning opportunity where both participants are put on the test of making a realization that neither acting from anger and blame nor feeling sorry for yourself is a supportive way of participating in a relationship. In order for any relationship to work and prosper, everyone that is involved must act as equal, understand each others perspective and then apply the solutions that are in best interest of all.

Basically all life is a test, a school that supports us all in realization how we must change ourself in order to live here in prosperity and abundance. Each one has a limited life span, a limited number of years here on earth that can be used for personal growth or they can be totally wasted. If one does not correct oneself based on the feedback that shows unharmonious results of ones participation, the backchat in the mind becomes so extensive that becomes unbearable. Usually suicide is then the only way that is left from the perspective of such abuser.

So I invite everyone that faces conflict at any place or time in their lives to start as soon as possible the process of inner change. And very effective free beginners online course for this process is called Desteni I Process Lite so I suggest you use it if you want to help yourself. Understand that you can blame no one for what you experience in your life. It is you who has attracted or created it. And only you can change it by taking full self-responsibly and forgive yourself all the illusional unrealistic accepted and allowed ideal, definitions and believes. Save yourself from your own mind because no one can save you but yourself!  

Day 90: Truth about lying

I strange realization today while talking to my direct sales mentor. I asked him about the short suggested time that I should mention to the leads. Usually the presentation lasts about an hour up to two hours, however it has been suggested to set a date only for the presentation that lasts about 15 minute. After I asked him if this is not lying he gave me very interesting explanation.

He said that people are very busy and do not have much time for the direct sales people. But what people are very busy with is very insignificant things, like watching TV. People are constantly very very busy with watching TV. They always find time to watch TV or surf the web or post things on FaceBook or play games. Just to run away from reality and having to change anything.

So we, the sales people want to improve the lives of people with high quality products and we must find a way how to properly introduce them to the leads. If I would be totally honest and say to person that I would need two hours of his time to fully understand the product, no one would want to schedule a date. People simply can not handle the truth and they do not want to listen and understand the facts.

Sales people thus have to lie in order to get into people's home for just a few moments, but then engage in as much entertaining presentation as possible so that leads do not get bored. If the sales presentation is entertaining, from the perspective of the leads, it is like watching TV. Basically people want to be entertained and if the sales presentation is at least as entertaining as watching TV, people will enjoy it and they would not look on the clock all the time.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to always speak truth and nothing but the truth, instead of realizing that people have such unconscious mind patterns that they simply can not handle the truth and that they need to be tricked into listening if the information about hot they can improve their lives has any chance to be delivered. 

Day 89: Prioritizing activities according to awareness

Yesterday evening a friend came to visit me and we had a chat about what has been going on lately in our lives. Especially what are the potentials, how to set priorities, how to direct oneself effectively and how to deal with all possible distractions that come into ones life. We also discussed the role of the money as the motivator to move and the impact that one has on the world when being involved in specific project.

Both of us concluded that we need money to survive in this system so the money is what influences our decisions and directs daily priorites. For me it has never been a problem earning money since I have a lot of skills and knowledge and I am able to learn new things and adopt very quickly. However during my last years of self-realization I became more and more aware of the impact that I have on this world, my potentials and the power of influence and how this world functions, meaning how extensively each of us is connected and dependent on each other. Thus in accordance to the expansion of my awareness also my decisions of what kind of activities I would do changed extensively.

The initial years of my own business life I would do services and products that did not impact this world or had power to change the world system very much. Then I started to notice how my time is being wasted by being just a quiet observer and doing nothing significant to improve the situation. I became aware that most people do things based on self-interest and do not care much about the fellow human being. So at least I wanted to invest my time in activities that would make this world a better place for all. However I found out that generating money for such activities is much more difficult since you stop producing services or products for consumers and start doing activities that creates resistance within the world system as we know it. 

I also found out that working alone would not be able to produce any significant impact and that collaborating with others as a group is necessary for any real change. And that created additional frustration with establishing a proper management system and increased the demand to manage my own life much more effectively. So I am learning now management systems and search for the people who would be qualified for collaboration on such large-scale projects. Finding the people that have strong motivation and possibilities in their life to join the groups that I am involved in and thus increase impact of the group extensively turned out to be quite a challenge.

Currently I gave to manage all aspects of my personal and business life and this means that many points require my focus. Inviting new people in my team would allow me to multiply the results of invested time manyfold since the activities could be delegated to others and less points would require my personal attention. However this also require me to become more responsible and manage money more effectively in order to assure that all team members would have enough money for their survival in this system. So what I need to do now is overcome the fear of possibility to become overwhelmed by managing a group of people. 

Day 88: Self-forgiveness on perfectionism

Days 86 and 87 are in my Slovenian blog

I was collecting contact information from web pages of entities that I was to contact and I intended to create a Google Maps custom layers with the position indicators of that entities. However for the Google to correctly recognize the address and creates a location marker, the street name has to be full length and completely correct otherwise it will not show up. And what I have found on the web sites of around half of entities, were the shortened or declined street names that I then had to individually reference in the search engine and identify the corresponding full name.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to become angry at the web site content creators that shortened or declined the street names instead of realizing that this is usually done in order to simplify long street descriptions and make them more friendly and not to deliberately make my life painful.

When I stumble upon a shortened or declined street name and if I for the purpose of automated information processing need a full long name, I stay here, breathe effectively and utilize the search engine until I get the required for of information.

A few days ago after a short but heavy rainy storm, a leak appeared in the wooden ceiling of my new apartment and the water drops created a big puddle on the floor.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to be angry at my landlady who did not inform me about the leaking ceiling instead of realizing that she could believe that the leak has been fixed.

When I notice some damaged part of the apartment that does not perform as I expect, I breathe effectively, stay here and peacefully communicate with the landlady in order to remediate the problem as soon as possible with mutual satisfaction.

I am preparing to sell some products via direct marketing and I am procrastinating with my outdoor activities since I perceive myself not to be ready and skillful enough in executing effective presentation.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the feeling of fear of rejection and loosing money since I perceive that I am not skillful enough instead of realizing that rejection in this lin of business is around 90% even if you are the most skillful communicator so it is purely a numbers game.

When I go out and make presentation of the product, in case of rejection I remain here, breathe effectively and understand that not every product is appropriate for every person at time of presentation and even if the person likes the product, they could be lacking of money or have different priorities in life. Thus I can always come around at a later stage and reattempt the sale. Many sales require around five attempts until the customer finally says yes and this is the true nature of this business.

Day 85: I got a new companion

Who said the Law of Attractions does't work! Just when I was thinking about come company that would assist me in gaining more motivation for my work and bring some amusement, today I already met some interesting candidate. Let me explained exactly what happened.

Yesterday when I went into woods, at the bus station, when the path started, I black cat was laying in the middle of the path and miaowed. When I approached, it stood up and started rubbing onto my legs. I stroked him a few times and did not know what it wants from me. After short time I continued the walk. I was thinking about that cat when I returned home and wondered why was he staying there.

Today I decided to go into woods again on the same path to see if the cat was still there, however I did not see it. However when I returned and went bye the bus station, I saw him again, ling near the road and miaowing. I asked two elder people that I just met if they know anything about that cat. They suggested that the cat is abandoned since people often leave their unwanted pets near the last bus stations. So I decided to take him to my home and see if we would come along.

The cat hat several ticks and was very stressed. Thus I firstly gave hime something to eat and drink and then removed some ticks. In the first couple of hours it was very restless, but after ome tapping therapy it calmed down. The neighbor suggested to bring it to the vet tomorrow which I will do in order to inspect him if it has some other parasites. I will keep it today in my room over night and see if this will suit it. Then tomorrow we'll go to the next step.

Day 84: Sun-breaking Saturday activities

After storm and rain there were several cold cloudy days where I did not feel like going out and I was also not very suitable weather for doing the laundry. Today the sun finally broke through the clouds and it became more warmer. Thus I washed and hanged the laundry to dry and then went to the woods for a walk to the new hill peak destination called the Head.

But what I was thinking of today was mostly what would be best use of my time to execute the business projects that would also result in making this world the best place for all. Since I live and work alone, basically all the work is done silently unless I would talk with people on the phone or have some business meetings. So what I miss is the company of someone that would assist me and with whom I could talk regularly and reflect easier on my progress. However all the people that I know to be suitable for this kind of cooperation are currently busy so I will have to wait a while to test out this point.

Also the business projects are being developed by business associates and are also best to wait until they are finalized. There are couple of other activities and remaining of the past projects that I could engage and clear however I am not motivated enough to do that. Today thus I invested most of my time to learn some new text by hearth that I would need for the business presentation and I will then start collecting hot leads in order to be prepared when some assistance will be finally available.