2010 - Facing my fears regarding politics

With my recent decision to go into politics, many thoughts and fears appeared. By observing the political arena in our country by watching TV news and political shows, reading newspapers, and by watching many videos and movies regarding American and world politics, like lectures of Lyndon LaRouche, who claim that the real power and agendas are hidden from the public, I became baffled about what is really going on and how the politics is truly shaping our world. Are word presidents just the puppets of the British Imperium and blackmailed by economic assassins and jackals and there is no way of running the country by principles of oneness and equality?

Our Republic of Slovenia has few days ago celebrated the 20th anniversary of independence from Federal Socialistic Republic of Yugoslavia and it has been 6 years since we become a part of European Union. The ruling political party is loosing public support and the opposition is gaining it. International watch has declared that Slovenia falling at providing true democracy, a lot of political end economic elite have become very wealthy and the recent very successful large companies are going bankrupt, for example our largest shop chain with technical good Merkur and our largest construction company SCT. People are loosing their jobs, government is making cuts and rebalancing budget and preparing to get additional loans to stabilize the situation in our country.

I am currently in the process of selling my apartment and moving to our capital city Ljubljana to enter the political arena. Now I am thinking what would be the best way for me to gain perspective how the political parties function, if I should join any party and which one, or if it is possible to be a member and participate in several parties at once to get the much larger picture how each party performs. Then I am asking myself if I should continue my study to gain some higher degree, like PhD and what discipline should I study to be most effective at my future political career.

Next I have been thinking if I am proper candidate, considering my emotional and intellectual state, physical looks and family background to be successful in the politics. Because if I look at people, who were able to climb to top government positions, they were mostly the ones, who were much more emotional stable and able to communicate with the public in very relaxed and amusing way, but who also expressed the power and who had great support from other influential people. I currently feel myself as not stable enough, still a lot of suppressed emotions, and with pretty delicate skin that is not making me the most photogenic.

However if I look at the political elite in our country, especially the prime minister, who has been also working as a model in his previous career, I see that he is deliberately using words to emotionally manipulate with the people, and that this is what also other politicians do and have been doing in the past. I am wondering if people would be able to response to common sense or have they become such mind systems that raising their emotions and national awareness would be the necessary approach in order to move the crowds and bring the change that is best for all. This is certainly something that is needed to be tested in practice.

I am planning to visit all influential political parties in our country and get to know the top politicians. Generally I see that our politicians do care about our nation but some have let the greed to take over and there is too much individualism and too little cooperation. We fight and argue a lot, the feeling of envy has become our national characteristic and nobody really knows why. Perhaps the small size of the country, measuring only 20.000 square kilometers with just 2 million citizens is one of the reasons. We are so small that almost everyone knows each other and there is hard to hide somewhere. But we are also the only country with world "love" in its name and we have never invaded and other country in the whole known history. Sadly that our tourist board is using "I feel sLOVEnia" slogan and emotionally manipulating foreigners to visit our county, but this has become established practice in all the advertising industry.

Maybe our small size would be the important factor at implementing equality system very quickly, as also other people, who are trying to bring some change here, are expecting. So far this has been only the thinking and projecting, but what will actually happen, depends mostly from my physical movement, sticking to the principle, breathing and staying emotional stable in the future. There is no way to know how thing will turn out, especially since all the world has become so tightly connected and a lot of things can happen in no time.

America is going down, China is rising, and has recently became the second largest economic power in the world. I see China has some potential to connect the world countries more effectively due to the communist system, but it also has a very high temper, a lot of anger and internal suppression. Will we be able to connect world-wide and start to cooperate, or will 3rd world war have to eradicate the old systems that do not want to change and integrate? The information technology is giving us support to raise our awareness, but there is a lot of tendencies to control and direct the crowd using press, television and internet. Who and what will prevail, that is the question, and only time will prove.

1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think.
   
   
2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breathe effectively.
   
   
3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that thinking is something normal and acceptable and that by thinking I am doing no harm, instead of realizing that thinking is the most profound and deceptive trap ever made.
   
   
4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and project the movie in my mind about what might happen in the future, based on my current information and pictures that I have seen and thus producing fear that this my actually come true, instead of shutting off my deceptive mind projector and sending him somewhere far away for eternal holidays, and allowing myself to be here and acting only in accordance with what is physically present in every moment of my breath.
   
   
5. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make assumptions of how politicians are, creating their personalities and predicting how they will respond to me, based only on some pictures and words from the media, instead of allowing myself to meet everyone in person, and then only acting according to how will they actually respond when we meet in flesh face to face.
   
   
6. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the world is run by some higher power, fearing of some secret societies and conspiracy theories, instead of realizing that the world system is constituted from the people like me and that I am equally influential and capable of introducing change as anyone else.
   
   
7. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I need to be deceptive and to become emotional manipulator in order to make this world a better place, instead of giving myself the opportunity to be totally honest and treating others as one and equal and remaining stable and sticking to the principle of equality no matter what others might think or how they might react.
   
   
8. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that any deception and dishonesty is unacceptable and is the reason of why this reality is so fucked as it currently is and that only unconditional honesty at all times is what will eventually liberate us from the prison of the mind and bring heaven on earth.

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