Day 107: Bernard Poolman died

Days from 99 to 106 are in my Slovenian blog.

It came as a shock when I noticed a blog post that Bernard Poolman died. His daughter Cerise Poolman published that he passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning, 11 August 2013 (SA time) and that his heart stopped beating.

Bernard was my dear friend and a role-model. I had privilege to meet him when I visited Desteni farm two years ago. Based on the work he had done, he can from my perspective be easily compared to Jesus or Buddha. I did not expect him to go so soon, since he was working on the extensive life research and I expected that he has access to knowledge that would enable him to live forever. However I learned that the dimensions of existence that he researched and influenced also demanded from him immense effort so he suffered great pain end pressure while dealing with all the systems.

He influenced and supported me in a very unusual, but effective way. After years of visiting many spiritual workshops, retreats and paying thousand of euros for Reiki, Angelic and other alternative medicine therapies that did not work at all, Bernard assisted me greatly. When I was at the dinner table in the Desteni farm kitchen, we had a conversation. I did not said to him verbally, however in my mind I was saying to him: “Here I am now. I have come here for you to destroy me. Now do it!". And he did. He destroyed me with greater intensity that I ever imagined.

By destroying me, I mean destroying my ego, my false self, my mind that I tried to destroy myself for many years but nothing worked. I knew that gurus and healers are fakers. They just stroked my ego and I required a firm hand to beat the hell out of me. Bernard had his ways, only few people understood why he was doing thing the way he did, but he was exactly what I needed. He was not afraid to speak what he wanted to convey, all he wanted was the truth and what is best for all. He stood up for all living beings bravely and heroically.

My most prominent point was fear of judgement from others. I feared expressing myself and thus developed quiet, introverted personality who was hiding behind computers and cameras. Bernard discovered this right away and gave me a lesson that I will never forget. Now, thanks to his support, I fear no more. I stand up firmly and do not care what others think. And I also learned to support others in similar ways that Bernard supported me. Some are so caught in their minds, so possessed with love and light that need a firms shaking before they realize their bull shit fakery.

I will continue the fight he started, I will keep beating the hell out of me and out of others, until all evil will be removed from this world. The destruction of life must stop, the mind must stop. We have lived in separation for too long. It is time that we learn the lessons, open our eyes and realize what we are doing to self and others. We can do much better than this. We can create a world full of abundance and prosperity. We can create heaven on earth. And we will!

Day 98: A kitty cat

A friend brought a kitty cat to my apartment and it was very fun watching the young animal how it researched the rooms, played with the hanging plant and showed off towards tit's own mage in the mirror. Who would thought that such a small being can be so interesting. It made my day and I laughed watching it and caressing it's furry body was a very nice feeling.

I like cats since they are very clean animals. They lick their fur clean and they do not smell. However there is a downside to cats. They have a very smelly piss and shit. And kittens are no exceptions. So when it made its thing somewhere on the floor of my apartment I was not pleased at all. If I would to keep it I would have to train it to make it's need in the specific place or take it outside. 

Well the plan was not to keep it in the first place since the friend just took it with me for a visit. We then drove to a new farm of our friends who had not yet any cats ant they were very happy to keep it. There friends had two children age about 7 and when they played with the kitten the day when we delivered it, I was shocked about the way how they treated it. They were spinning it and throwing it the air like it was some kind a toy and not a living being.

I was glad that father gave the child a lesson by grabbing him and pushing him in the same manner as he did wit the cat. The child felt very unpleasant and it started to cry but it got the lesson very clearly. Humans are so separate from the reality, living in our minds and not capable of real compassion towards fellow living beings. I would like us to treat animals in the same way we treat fellow humans or even better. There are a great audio recordings about Pets and Owners in the Eqafe.com store that I recommend listening in order to increase understanding how animals perceive us. 

Day 97: The richest man in the world

I just watched a short documentary about Warren Buffett who is the richest man in the world. Well he and Bill Gates take turns each year, but I think you get the point. Watching this movie is the part of my agenda to learn from the rich in order to copy their behavior and eventually also become rich.

While watching the movie some facts surprised me very much. He has a very simple philosophy about how to pick the investments and how to make money on the long term. However, what surprised me the most is how he eats junk food like burgers and Coca Cola and does not care very much about healthy diet. Also what surprised me was that he invested in businesses like Coca Cola and large corporations and that made him multi billionaire. He does not care what the impact of companies is on the society, the basic objective is that he profits from the business and that he makes a lot of money. Also he does not use computers and calculators to make detailed calculations but only reads paper reports abut the businesses and then decides to buy them mostly without even visiting the company or knowing the manager of the company that he buys face to face. 

Documentary firstly shoes his public image and many of his followers that want to pick his brain and also become very rich by hearing what he has to say and reading his autobiographies. However at the end some information is disclosed where it is clear that there is more than meets the eye. He does not only invest in companies directly but also trades stocks and other financial instruments and these bring him the most money without most of the people ever realizing this fact. So it is clear that a simple documentary can not show all the real facts about how Mr. Buffett earned billions and we can only speculate about how he creates all the immense money-flow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel anger towards Mr. Buffett when noticing that he eats and drinks junk food and that he supports manufacturers of junk food due to believe that big brand like Coca Coca have done nothing good for the society instead of realizing that by being angry towards others does not assist me or others in any way possible.

I commit myself to research the ways how rich people make money but then engage and invest in businesses that assist people to improve their health and quality of life.

Day 96: Money Money Money

Days from 92 to 95 are in my Slovenian blog

I was thinking lately about my mind patterns in regards to money. I asked myself why I was not able to generate wealth with the same ease as some others did. So I decided now to write these points out and see what I discover and realize within that.

As every child I became used for parents to provide for everything I needed. My father was firstly employed in the factory but then started our family business. Even though I was formally employed in our company I have not been receiving salary but had to ask parents to buy me stuff or give me some allowance. Only at age of 25 when I moved to my own apartment and won to work only 8 hours per day, I started to receive salary.

And also then my parents pressured me to continue to work at our or their company and supported me in buying my own apartment. At age of 27 I registered my own business and started earning money on my own. Since I had no expenses with the rent, I generated enough income very easy. I worked just for couple of hours a day and earned enough for the food and invested the rest in the research and development of the projects that I liked.

Three years ago I decided to sell my apartment and move to Ljubljana capital city. I decided for a big apartment where I would live and also work in my studio. The rent was very high and also additional monthly costs. However due to large sum of money from the apartment sale I did not worry about running out of money soon. However now after three years of investing in projects and spending money on travel and networking, I got myself unprepared for the fact that all the money is gone.

I kinda lost track of how much money I have and how much money I need to generate in order to stay in the big expensive apartment. Also the economic situation did its toll and from the business services that I offered there were not enough clients to cover all the expenses. Thus I recently decided to move to smaller and cheaper apartment. Now I am thinking what I have to do in order to improve my financial situation and raise myself high up from the ashes. 

During my regular walks in the nearby hills with the woods I find myself surrounded by plants and think about how Mother Nature is giving us all what we need for free. And we the humans then put price tags on things and sell them to each other. All the land is owned by someone and if you want to have stuff, you have to have money. This fact about money and putting price tags to things that are free seems to me very bizarre and unnatural.

Thus I also find very difficult putting the price tags on my services and deciding what the values of my products should be. I would rather do things for free but this is unrealistic in the system that we currently have. So even though I would rather change the system into something like Equal Money System where a dignified life is unconditionally guaranteed for all, I have to consider current state of reality and then create changes within and as the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to give up due to believe that current world system is all fucked up, that humans are parasites and that it is best for the world for all humans to die out instead of realizing that self-pity and blame is unproductive and I just waste my life and potentials.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to track my incomes and outcomes and thus not being aware of my current financial status instead of realizing that tracking money flow is the foundation of successful human life in the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that if I charge money for my services I within this take money from other people and thus they will have less money instead of realizing that the function of money is to exchange products and services and that money is a recyclable medium.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perceive that people do not have money due to financial crisis and thus bearing to charge money for my services to others instead of realizing that currently there is only about 13% rate of unemployment in our country which means that 87% people have jobs and thus also money and that I can also sell my services to basically anywhere in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to associate business success and wealth with stressful life instead of realizing that rich people manage up to 50 different companies however they use methods of time and priority management where they delegate their employees and thus have even more time freedom that working alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge in watching movies for many hours per days, thinking that that would relax me and free from the anxiety of my life challenges instead of realizing that watching pictures is dumbing my brain down and turning me into even more lazy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rich people are corrupt and have gathered their money only by criminal activities instead of realizing that everyone's life story is different and that some could be involved in some dirty business, however there are also a lot of hones and supportive ways of making money where a great value is added to society and this world.

I commit myself to read books every morning every evening as suggested my successful people since leaders are readers and reading is very important to develop focus and become more effective in this world.

I commit myself to keep detailed record of all my incomes and outcomes to the last cent and do weekly and monthly stats of my income, outcomes and profit since this is a must for every person who wants to live successful life in the current money system.

I commit myself to associate with wealthy people and get advise about what they do in order to I also become equally successful since if you want to become someone, you have to mimic these people.

Day 91: Relationship polarity games

Yesterday my ex girlfriend called me and started crying since her father that she is living with assaulted her and she became afraid that he woud stab her with a knife and kill her. Thus in order to safe her life she went to the woods and spent the night under the trees.

I tried to support my ex girlfriend within three years of living together in realizing that all the violent people came into her life due to her specific behavior patterns that she accepted and allowed. However she refused to engage in the process of behavior transformation. She is like addicted to the energy of bad feelings which she experiences when people are psychical or physical abusive towards hers. And if she will not stop this, she is doomed. It is the same pattern that also my mother lived and it resulted in her making a suicide couple of years ago.

I talked to my current neighbor that worked as a social worker but is retired now. She was met with many cases of home violence and she learned that in every violent relationship there are two people with polarity behavior pattens that attract each other. One plays a role of being abusive person and the other plays a role of a victim. However each one of them need each other in order to continue with this role playing. So just one of them is required to change the pattern and the relationship changes immediately.

Abusive and violent relationship is in fact a learning opportunity where both participants are put on the test of making a realization that neither acting from anger and blame nor feeling sorry for yourself is a supportive way of participating in a relationship. In order for any relationship to work and prosper, everyone that is involved must act as equal, understand each others perspective and then apply the solutions that are in best interest of all.

Basically all life is a test, a school that supports us all in realization how we must change ourself in order to live here in prosperity and abundance. Each one has a limited life span, a limited number of years here on earth that can be used for personal growth or they can be totally wasted. If one does not correct oneself based on the feedback that shows unharmonious results of ones participation, the backchat in the mind becomes so extensive that becomes unbearable. Usually suicide is then the only way that is left from the perspective of such abuser.

So I invite everyone that faces conflict at any place or time in their lives to start as soon as possible the process of inner change. And very effective free beginners online course for this process is called Desteni I Process Lite so I suggest you use it if you want to help yourself. Understand that you can blame no one for what you experience in your life. It is you who has attracted or created it. And only you can change it by taking full self-responsibly and forgive yourself all the illusional unrealistic accepted and allowed ideal, definitions and believes. Save yourself from your own mind because no one can save you but yourself!  

Day 90: Truth about lying

I strange realization today while talking to my direct sales mentor. I asked him about the short suggested time that I should mention to the leads. Usually the presentation lasts about an hour up to two hours, however it has been suggested to set a date only for the presentation that lasts about 15 minute. After I asked him if this is not lying he gave me very interesting explanation.

He said that people are very busy and do not have much time for the direct sales people. But what people are very busy with is very insignificant things, like watching TV. People are constantly very very busy with watching TV. They always find time to watch TV or surf the web or post things on FaceBook or play games. Just to run away from reality and having to change anything.

So we, the sales people want to improve the lives of people with high quality products and we must find a way how to properly introduce them to the leads. If I would be totally honest and say to person that I would need two hours of his time to fully understand the product, no one would want to schedule a date. People simply can not handle the truth and they do not want to listen and understand the facts.

Sales people thus have to lie in order to get into people's home for just a few moments, but then engage in as much entertaining presentation as possible so that leads do not get bored. If the sales presentation is entertaining, from the perspective of the leads, it is like watching TV. Basically people want to be entertained and if the sales presentation is at least as entertaining as watching TV, people will enjoy it and they would not look on the clock all the time.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to always speak truth and nothing but the truth, instead of realizing that people have such unconscious mind patterns that they simply can not handle the truth and that they need to be tricked into listening if the information about hot they can improve their lives has any chance to be delivered. 

Day 89: Prioritizing activities according to awareness

Yesterday evening a friend came to visit me and we had a chat about what has been going on lately in our lives. Especially what are the potentials, how to set priorities, how to direct oneself effectively and how to deal with all possible distractions that come into ones life. We also discussed the role of the money as the motivator to move and the impact that one has on the world when being involved in specific project.

Both of us concluded that we need money to survive in this system so the money is what influences our decisions and directs daily priorites. For me it has never been a problem earning money since I have a lot of skills and knowledge and I am able to learn new things and adopt very quickly. However during my last years of self-realization I became more and more aware of the impact that I have on this world, my potentials and the power of influence and how this world functions, meaning how extensively each of us is connected and dependent on each other. Thus in accordance to the expansion of my awareness also my decisions of what kind of activities I would do changed extensively.

The initial years of my own business life I would do services and products that did not impact this world or had power to change the world system very much. Then I started to notice how my time is being wasted by being just a quiet observer and doing nothing significant to improve the situation. I became aware that most people do things based on self-interest and do not care much about the fellow human being. So at least I wanted to invest my time in activities that would make this world a better place for all. However I found out that generating money for such activities is much more difficult since you stop producing services or products for consumers and start doing activities that creates resistance within the world system as we know it. 

I also found out that working alone would not be able to produce any significant impact and that collaborating with others as a group is necessary for any real change. And that created additional frustration with establishing a proper management system and increased the demand to manage my own life much more effectively. So I am learning now management systems and search for the people who would be qualified for collaboration on such large-scale projects. Finding the people that have strong motivation and possibilities in their life to join the groups that I am involved in and thus increase impact of the group extensively turned out to be quite a challenge.

Currently I gave to manage all aspects of my personal and business life and this means that many points require my focus. Inviting new people in my team would allow me to multiply the results of invested time manyfold since the activities could be delegated to others and less points would require my personal attention. However this also require me to become more responsible and manage money more effectively in order to assure that all team members would have enough money for their survival in this system. So what I need to do now is overcome the fear of possibility to become overwhelmed by managing a group of people.