Day 34: Resistance to the new job activities

Days 31, 32 and 33 are in my Slovenian blog

My new job of selling a new product created more resistance than I imagined. While I have been working mostly from home in the past years, and customers would be mostly business people that found me on the internet and came to my office to place an order, I am facing the job now where I will have to go to the customers. And they are not the business people but families with kids and different professions.

I have a mentor who is supporting me in becoming a better salesman and from what he thought me, I realized that I will have to change extensively. Until now I did not have to make a lot of effort in order to get an order since I worked in graphic and web design and photography. The products were commonly known and from my past work references the customers knew what to expect from me. Now I am selling a new product that is a new technology and nothing that has ever existed before. And also the use of the product bring a spectacular results in terms of personal development and transformation of the society as a whole.

The first challenge for me as a salesmen is to test and use the product myself. There can not be a good salesmen that tries to sell the product that he is not using himself. One has to become convinced that the product is of high quality and is beneficial for the user. Since the product requires mind activity, I experience resistance due to my addiction of watching movies and am thus finding reading much less attractive. I will have to discipline myself firstly to star using the product myself and see the result of its use on myself and that will then enable me to become more enthusiastic about the product and will thus also be able to make more sales. At sales in fact you are never selling the product, but yourself.

The second point is that selling this new product requires me to develop new skills and totally change my mindset, develop my self-esteem and transform my attitude towards other people. Throughout past several years I have developed introverted personality with constant evaluation and judgement of others. I was directed by others and became used to wait for the orders. I was basically in a very passive mental mode. The new job requires me to become proactive, to come forward, to make connection with others, ask question and become genuine interested in what other want and need. It is so that certain product can only be sold if it fulfills the needs of others. Thus I have to learn what are the problems and challenges in the life of others and how the product that I represent could solve that problems.

The third challenge is the price of the product that I am selling. The product covers the user needs for several years and is thus a long-term investment. Due to its unique technology, the long-term savings and the incredible benefits of its use it requires from customer to come with quite a lot of money. This bring me even in the bigger mental pressure. I have to become absolutely sure for myself that the product is more that worth of that kind of investment and that it is a life-time opportunity where customer is to find a way of getting the money since it is for its own best interest.

And the last point is that the products comes with such a marketing plan that creates a very good money-making opportunity for me. Due to extensive amount of accepted and allowed limited and destructive believes in regards money, I have a challenge allowing to come such quantity of money in my life.  I have to become convinced that I am worth of receiving money and become rich. I definitely already know how to spend it so that quality of all life on earth will become better and I have to understand that I will not be able to achieve that without firstly allowing a lot of money to come to me and thus becoming very rich.

The most challenging from me is the need of creating a more pleasant personality. So from being a quiet introverted serious person who answers only when asked, I will have to become more relaxed, opened, initiative and happy person. The best effect in sales is made if you smile during the product presentation. And this is very difficult to me. I have become used of being secretive, flat-faced, judgmental and angry. Being happy and joyful is a whole new experience to me, like bringing the fish out of the water. So I must change my personality, my resonances or my water extensively. And this is why I experience such massive amount of resistance that I never imagined.

Day 30: Schooling in Slovenia self-forgiveness

In the previous post of this blog I have written about the challenges of elementary schools in Slovenia. I will now look into what I have accepted and allowed and transform my thinking and behavior from passive observer and being victim of circumstances to active participant and creator of the world system that is best for all.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the current public education system to be as it is without ever questioning its credibility and quality, instead of realizing that our schools are far away from being effective in preparing children for life and they need a drastic improvement.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the education system to be by the image of industry, where every child enters the school based on the age, is then put in the class of about 30 children and then taught the same material as others in the same way and expected the same results as it would be a robot and not a living being, each with a different background, talent and desires.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money to direct the quality of education where rich people can buy a much better education for their children while the majority of children whose parents have low income are destined to experience a low quality of free public elementary schooling.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that simply by finishing university I am a professional, ready to meet all the challenges in life, instead of realizing that even the psychology graduates who are expected to know how the mind works are not properly educated in essential life skills.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to realize that parents are the most important educators since they influence and transfer their thinking and behavior patterns on their children to the extent that is bigger than anything else that influence children in their lives and that the responsibility of the parents in this world is such that no one is to be allowed to have children before being properly educated how to raise children.
   
   
6. I commit myself to direct myself towards research how our education system works and influence it towards becoming effective in giving a child all the necessary skills and knowledge so that we would be all able to live here in this world as equals and with mutual support and understanding.

Day 29: Challenges of schooling in Slovenia

Days 26, 27 and 28 are in my Slovenian blog

I visited today a local elementary school to find out if they would be willing to cooperate in a research project about the current reading abilities of the children. I talked to the principal and presented the projects and all the benefits for the children, parents and the school. All that school was to do is to hand flyers with forms to the children and they would return the filled forms from the interested parents.

However the principal explained that she is afraid about the reaction of the parents since she already had a very negative experience once. She explained that someone suggested to have the Transcendental  meditation in the the school for the children a while ago. Soon after the announcement, some parents went on the internet and found bunch of negative articles about this trademarked form of meditation.

I have heard about TM before and from what I have found out is that this meditation is promising to deliver a high stage of enlightenment and one is also to pay a couple of thousand dollars for the advanced lessons. While there is nothing ilegal with charging lesson fees, I personally also find this kind of meditation to be harmful and a typical love & light deception.

But the main point here is that the principal developed a strong fear of future criticism based on the past experience. However there is always a reason behind every event. Our thinking and behavior patterns create experiences in life where we are taught about our limitations. One is to learn on this lessons and take self-responsibility and not develop a pattern of fear by projecting a responsibility onto others.

One needs to understand that there will always be criticism from others and there will be always a negative publicity about every single product on the web and no one can do much about it. And there are also those who basically criticize anything and everything simply for the pleasure of criticizing and that is in fact a projected low self-esteem.

It is best to learn on past mistakes and see what could be done different, but then be open to the new events without pre-judging them. Everything is new it this moment, everything constantly changes and past needs to be constantly released in order to be able to accept the present reality. It is of course wise to understand the relation between the cause and the consequence, however accepting and seeing things as they are, without emotional reaction and past-projection is important.

Now about the schooling system in Slovenia it is so that elementary schools have complete autonomy in regards deciding what projects to allow in the schools. There is Ministry of education who prepares the guidelines, however it is upon the school principle and board of directors to decide what to allow and what not. It is understandable that the principle is in a very demanding position since it takes the heat from the children in the schools who have to obey the rules and heat form the parents who want their kids to have freedom and blame the school for everything that is wrong in child's life.

Parents are the biggest influencers when we talk about child's personality development. They transfer their own inherited thinking and behavior patterns onto their children without being full aware of that. And thus the cycle goes on and one from one to the next generation and nothing much changers. So by research and change that I want to implement in our schools I expect to bing a better change that would clear the harmful behavior patterns from the children. I will now also contact other schools in the city to see what their response will be.

Day 25: Relationship breakup self-forgiveness

In the previous two posts of this blog I wrote about my decision to break up with my girlfriend that lived with me for about 4 years. In this post I will take self-responsibility for my decisions in regards to this relationship and correct my behavior patterns in order not to do the same mistakes again.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel hurt and disappointed since my first girlfriend after three years of living together left me instead of realizing that the reason was not me hurting her in any way but her desire to be in relationship where her partner would abuse her as here father abused her on a daily basis.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to initiate any relationship with girls since I did not want to be hurt again and rather waited for the girls to initiate contact with me instead of realizing that rejection is a part of life and that it is best to stay emotionally stable regardless if a girl rejects or accepts me.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge my last girlfriend who made a lot of effort to become my partner for constantly calling me and sending me messages for over a year and then accepted her in spite of initially not liking her very much instead of realizing that person who has issues by accepting NO will also be incapable of equal communication in the long run.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel good when my last girlfriend praised my body details and told me how incredible and beautiful I am instead of realizing that physical obsession is never a good starting point of a relationship and that what makes relationship work is ability of both partners to effectively communicate and understand each other execute what is mutually agreed.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to wait for so long for my last girlfriend to start her process of inner transformation instead of realizing that her reluctance is so strong that she will not start the process unless I break up with her and leave her to face the consequences of her mind patterns on her own.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to see how being in a relationship with I person who thinks that money is the root of all evil and that lot of money automatically corrupts you is influencing me to such extent that even I have started to experience problems with earning money instead of realizing this issue sooner and split with the person with such limiting believes.
   
   
7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of connecting with girls that I like since by comparing my body with movie actors and magazine celebrities I defined my body as less attractive and thus not being worthy of relationship with the girls who I find attractive instead of realizing that what body shape is not what others are attracted by but the confidence and self-esteem that one expresses by non-verbal communication.
   
   
8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to live my life from the state of passive observer and admire achievements of others, believing that I am incapable of achieving high goals due to my physical looks instead of realizing that even people with strong disabilities have been able to do amazing things and thus I am also more than able to achieve much more that I currently perceive to be my limits.
   
   
9. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be paralyzed by the energy of fear and stop in moving forward instead of accepting any challenge in my life as an opportunity to grow and expand by looking deep inside me and pointing out what kind of accepted believe is creating this inner conflict and energy of fear and removing it with assistance of self forgiveness.
   
   
10. I commit myself to open myself to opportunity of meeting a more supportive partner in my life and testing her level of ability and preparedness of becoming my agreement where we would both actively walk our process and support each other as equals.
    
    
11. I commit myself to when and as I see a girl that I like, I breathe and remain here and not allow for her physical characteristics to overwhelm me but engage in the conversation as equals and then by asking questions find out if we she has a thinking patterns compatible with mine to the level that is worth of engaging in a relationship.

Day 24: I decided to brake up with my girlfriend

In the previous post of this blog I wrote how the visit of my good friend opened up my eyes and assisted me in becoming aware how detrimental a relationship is where your partner is constantly telling you that it can not be done, that you will not succeed, that money is root of all evil and a lot of similar limiting and unsupportive claims. One can try consciously telling itself that these statements are not true, however when hearing them every single day for several times, they slip to the subconscious and unconscious mind and start to sabotage you without being aware of.

Yesterday I decided to have a talk with my girlfriend and told her that I suggest to part. She agreed and told me that she also expected me to come to this decision sooner or later since she also was not very committed to our relationships and desired a different lifestyle. I am planning to prepare myself for political an leadership activities and I need a capable and supportive partner who does want the same. However my girlfriend did not want even to dress different, but was always in casual new age clothes and wanted to live without any big responsibilities in the nature and do some agriculture or similar activities.

Our relationship was beneficial for both of us, we learned and realized a lot. I gain experience about how is to be fully physically loved and accepted and I saved here from previous violent relationship and showed her how man can communicate and act peacefully. However now is time to move one. I need a more supportive environment, friends who build me up, who see the solutions instead of problems, who realize that each one of us has power to achieve incredible things and that with dedication and focus we can relatively quickly turn this world into what is best for all.

So today my girlfriend is moving out to her parents place and will focus on finishing the exams for her high school of cosmetics before she graduates in one or two months. My business will thus also stop offering her massage services and I will from now on focus on counseling, educational and informational products that support life. I plan to develop my connections with groups of successful and responsible people that I have been involved in and use my time and abilities to create as big social impact as possible.

I see what are my next challenges and there are a lot of mountains to climb yet. I am looking forward to transform myself to more open, collaborative and successful person, meet new people, expand my perspective and activate unlimited potentials that await me. There are people out there with mentality that speed up creative process to unimaginable levels and there are possibilities that no one would ever dream of.

Day 23: Toxic relationship

Days 21 and 22 are in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday I good female friend came to a visit for a business presentation of the new product that I am selling. It was agreed that I do the presentation also for my girlfriend at the same time. While doing presentation, my girlfriend made a few remarks in relation to my presentation that I did not find very constructive and supportive. But instead of me saying anything to her about that, it was a visiting friends who initiated quite extensive dialogue with my girlfriend and reflected her extremely negative, mediocre and unsupportive attitude.

Later the visiting friend shared her story about how she recently decided to brake up with her boyfriends since he was pulling her down. Before she met him, she had no problem earning a lot of money, however after meeting her boyfriend, her ability to keep money wend down extremely fast. Her boyfriend constantly programmed her with believed that having money is bad, that all rich man are crooked and that it is best to live simple natural life without need to have a lot of money.

Her boyfriend had opinion that he is just being realistic, that his opinion is total true and this influenced also his girlfriend. She tried everything possible to keep her head above the water, but even though she had been aware that money by itself is just a tool, on the unconscious level she adopted the mind patterns of her boyfriend to the extent where she lost the ability to create and attract money. Only after she broke up, she was able to clear the limiting believes that she accepted from his boyfriend and now the money started to accumulate again in her life.

That story made me also consider relationship with my girlfriend. I can easily conclude that she has extremely limiting believes about money and wealth and that she definitely influences me unconsciously. There is also a strong correlation between the time where she entered my life and the time where I started to loose my customers and ability to earn money. It has also been strange to me why all the extensive marketing that I made for my end her business services had no effect and why almost all customers came just once and never returned. I gave her to distribute hundreds of promotional flyers and not even one person called yet.

I am asking myself what is holding me in relationship with my girlfriend and why am I allowing all this destructive and limiting influence. There are definitely things that I like about my girlfriend, like the way she admires me, mostly my body attributes, how we enjoy sex, and how we both tend to research secrets of life. However she is a very stubborn person and every feedback or perspective that I express to her, she accepts as personal attack, does not engage in constructive dialogue, but just fights back and protects her current thinking and behavior patterns without any willingness to change.

When reflecting her patterns of constant criticism of others, exposing only the negative perspective, feeling sorry for herself and fearing of loosing money, she did not consider this as opportunity to change, but started to protect her ego by telling me and others that we are the negatives and that she will not allow to be yelled at and tolled what to do. She consideres herself as a brave working and totally honest girl, who does the best. It is just others who simply do not understand her and see her inner beauty.

I supported her for almost 4 year now, mentally and finically and waited and waited until she would be ready to start her process of inner transformation. She read a lot of spiritual books and told me, how Osho basically saved her life due to constant strong mantal attacks from her parents. I have met her parents and experienced myself extreme level of verbal abuse that she had been exposed to. I admire how she in spite of all the shit that she took in her life, she is relatively sane. However within the context of our relationship where I push myself extremely to transcend my own limiting mind patterns, she is the one that does not want to do the process and is pulling me down.

When entering any relationship I understand that there are some issues by harmonizing the lives of two people who have been living separate and are now together. There is always a question about what is the reason for mutual attraction, what inherited behavior patterns to tolerate and when to see that the magnitude of destructive behavior is too high for a long lasting harmonious relationship. I decided that in my case this tipping point has been reached and I will not longer tolerate the current ways of interaction with my girlfriend. Yesterday's visit opened my eyes. I see now that I have been compromising myself by allowing a person in my life with too limiting mind patterns.

I have been tolerating mental abuse from my girlfriend for too long and this also reflects on my ability to sell my products and earn enough money to cover my monthly expenses. I can simply no longer afford to go even more in debt. I understand that my believes are my responsibility and I am doing my process in order to transcending them, however my girlfriend is obviously influencing me to that extend that she is able to program me with limiting believes faster that I am able to clear them out. I want a more supportive relationship that would not be based only on some sweet words and physical admiration, but deep mutual understanding and willingness to change extensively in order to not only create a harmonious relationship, but also change the world system to what is best for all.

Day 20: Expectations self-forgiveness

These are my self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to my thinking patterns from the previous post of this blog.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become totally excited and thrilled for the subjects that I faced in different periods of my life and to fanatically share my believes in regards to the subject, considering others as stupid and less in value if they do not share the same excitement for the subject with me, instead of realizing that perspectives on any subject change based on the perception of observer and awareness.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define a product or service as something more than others and thus creating energy of good feelings instead of understanding that all products and services are just different shapes and have different use.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that something that I hear or read is absolute true purely because the messenger is presented as expert on its field, instead of realizing that any opinion is just a personal view of on individual and is limited by its current state of awareness and is also influenced by the starting point of the statement.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to expect that everyone has to buy the product that I sell instead of realizing that in the moment of my presentation person can either have different interests or priorities or they currently do not have enough money to buy the product.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to want to be praised for the products or services that I offer and thus allowing the driving force of my activities to become the good public image, instead of understanding that any product that I would ever sell is for some people appropriate at that time and for some not and that it is best to engage in sales activities without any desire for attention from others.
   
   
6. I commit myself that when and as I engage in sales activities, I breathe effectively, remain here, explain the benefits of the product, ask questions and overcome objections and understand that the product is not for everybody and thus accepting YES or NO with the same state of inner stability and equality.