Day 30: Schooling in Slovenia self-forgiveness

In the previous post of this blog I have written about the challenges of elementary schools in Slovenia. I will now look into what I have accepted and allowed and transform my thinking and behavior from passive observer and being victim of circumstances to active participant and creator of the world system that is best for all.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the current public education system to be as it is without ever questioning its credibility and quality, instead of realizing that our schools are far away from being effective in preparing children for life and they need a drastic improvement.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the education system to be by the image of industry, where every child enters the school based on the age, is then put in the class of about 30 children and then taught the same material as others in the same way and expected the same results as it would be a robot and not a living being, each with a different background, talent and desires.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money to direct the quality of education where rich people can buy a much better education for their children while the majority of children whose parents have low income are destined to experience a low quality of free public elementary schooling.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that simply by finishing university I am a professional, ready to meet all the challenges in life, instead of realizing that even the psychology graduates who are expected to know how the mind works are not properly educated in essential life skills.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to realize that parents are the most important educators since they influence and transfer their thinking and behavior patterns on their children to the extent that is bigger than anything else that influence children in their lives and that the responsibility of the parents in this world is such that no one is to be allowed to have children before being properly educated how to raise children.
   
   
6. I commit myself to direct myself towards research how our education system works and influence it towards becoming effective in giving a child all the necessary skills and knowledge so that we would be all able to live here in this world as equals and with mutual support and understanding.

Day 29: Challenges of schooling in Slovenia

Days 26, 27 and 28 are in my Slovenian blog

I visited today a local elementary school to find out if they would be willing to cooperate in a research project about the current reading abilities of the children. I talked to the principal and presented the projects and all the benefits for the children, parents and the school. All that school was to do is to hand flyers with forms to the children and they would return the filled forms from the interested parents.

However the principal explained that she is afraid about the reaction of the parents since she already had a very negative experience once. She explained that someone suggested to have the Transcendental  meditation in the the school for the children a while ago. Soon after the announcement, some parents went on the internet and found bunch of negative articles about this trademarked form of meditation.

I have heard about TM before and from what I have found out is that this meditation is promising to deliver a high stage of enlightenment and one is also to pay a couple of thousand dollars for the advanced lessons. While there is nothing ilegal with charging lesson fees, I personally also find this kind of meditation to be harmful and a typical love & light deception.

But the main point here is that the principal developed a strong fear of future criticism based on the past experience. However there is always a reason behind every event. Our thinking and behavior patterns create experiences in life where we are taught about our limitations. One is to learn on this lessons and take self-responsibility and not develop a pattern of fear by projecting a responsibility onto others.

One needs to understand that there will always be criticism from others and there will be always a negative publicity about every single product on the web and no one can do much about it. And there are also those who basically criticize anything and everything simply for the pleasure of criticizing and that is in fact a projected low self-esteem.

It is best to learn on past mistakes and see what could be done different, but then be open to the new events without pre-judging them. Everything is new it this moment, everything constantly changes and past needs to be constantly released in order to be able to accept the present reality. It is of course wise to understand the relation between the cause and the consequence, however accepting and seeing things as they are, without emotional reaction and past-projection is important.

Now about the schooling system in Slovenia it is so that elementary schools have complete autonomy in regards deciding what projects to allow in the schools. There is Ministry of education who prepares the guidelines, however it is upon the school principle and board of directors to decide what to allow and what not. It is understandable that the principle is in a very demanding position since it takes the heat from the children in the schools who have to obey the rules and heat form the parents who want their kids to have freedom and blame the school for everything that is wrong in child's life.

Parents are the biggest influencers when we talk about child's personality development. They transfer their own inherited thinking and behavior patterns onto their children without being full aware of that. And thus the cycle goes on and one from one to the next generation and nothing much changers. So by research and change that I want to implement in our schools I expect to bing a better change that would clear the harmful behavior patterns from the children. I will now also contact other schools in the city to see what their response will be.

Day 25: Relationship breakup self-forgiveness

In the previous two posts of this blog I wrote about my decision to break up with my girlfriend that lived with me for about 4 years. In this post I will take self-responsibility for my decisions in regards to this relationship and correct my behavior patterns in order not to do the same mistakes again.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel hurt and disappointed since my first girlfriend after three years of living together left me instead of realizing that the reason was not me hurting her in any way but her desire to be in relationship where her partner would abuse her as here father abused her on a daily basis.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to initiate any relationship with girls since I did not want to be hurt again and rather waited for the girls to initiate contact with me instead of realizing that rejection is a part of life and that it is best to stay emotionally stable regardless if a girl rejects or accepts me.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to indulge my last girlfriend who made a lot of effort to become my partner for constantly calling me and sending me messages for over a year and then accepted her in spite of initially not liking her very much instead of realizing that person who has issues by accepting NO will also be incapable of equal communication in the long run.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel good when my last girlfriend praised my body details and told me how incredible and beautiful I am instead of realizing that physical obsession is never a good starting point of a relationship and that what makes relationship work is ability of both partners to effectively communicate and understand each other execute what is mutually agreed.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to wait for so long for my last girlfriend to start her process of inner transformation instead of realizing that her reluctance is so strong that she will not start the process unless I break up with her and leave her to face the consequences of her mind patterns on her own.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to see how being in a relationship with I person who thinks that money is the root of all evil and that lot of money automatically corrupts you is influencing me to such extent that even I have started to experience problems with earning money instead of realizing this issue sooner and split with the person with such limiting believes.
   
   
7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of connecting with girls that I like since by comparing my body with movie actors and magazine celebrities I defined my body as less attractive and thus not being worthy of relationship with the girls who I find attractive instead of realizing that what body shape is not what others are attracted by but the confidence and self-esteem that one expresses by non-verbal communication.
   
   
8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to live my life from the state of passive observer and admire achievements of others, believing that I am incapable of achieving high goals due to my physical looks instead of realizing that even people with strong disabilities have been able to do amazing things and thus I am also more than able to achieve much more that I currently perceive to be my limits.
   
   
9. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be paralyzed by the energy of fear and stop in moving forward instead of accepting any challenge in my life as an opportunity to grow and expand by looking deep inside me and pointing out what kind of accepted believe is creating this inner conflict and energy of fear and removing it with assistance of self forgiveness.
   
   
10. I commit myself to open myself to opportunity of meeting a more supportive partner in my life and testing her level of ability and preparedness of becoming my agreement where we would both actively walk our process and support each other as equals.
    
    
11. I commit myself to when and as I see a girl that I like, I breathe and remain here and not allow for her physical characteristics to overwhelm me but engage in the conversation as equals and then by asking questions find out if we she has a thinking patterns compatible with mine to the level that is worth of engaging in a relationship.

Day 24: I decided to brake up with my girlfriend

In the previous post of this blog I wrote how the visit of my good friend opened up my eyes and assisted me in becoming aware how detrimental a relationship is where your partner is constantly telling you that it can not be done, that you will not succeed, that money is root of all evil and a lot of similar limiting and unsupportive claims. One can try consciously telling itself that these statements are not true, however when hearing them every single day for several times, they slip to the subconscious and unconscious mind and start to sabotage you without being aware of.

Yesterday I decided to have a talk with my girlfriend and told her that I suggest to part. She agreed and told me that she also expected me to come to this decision sooner or later since she also was not very committed to our relationships and desired a different lifestyle. I am planning to prepare myself for political an leadership activities and I need a capable and supportive partner who does want the same. However my girlfriend did not want even to dress different, but was always in casual new age clothes and wanted to live without any big responsibilities in the nature and do some agriculture or similar activities.

Our relationship was beneficial for both of us, we learned and realized a lot. I gain experience about how is to be fully physically loved and accepted and I saved here from previous violent relationship and showed her how man can communicate and act peacefully. However now is time to move one. I need a more supportive environment, friends who build me up, who see the solutions instead of problems, who realize that each one of us has power to achieve incredible things and that with dedication and focus we can relatively quickly turn this world into what is best for all.

So today my girlfriend is moving out to her parents place and will focus on finishing the exams for her high school of cosmetics before she graduates in one or two months. My business will thus also stop offering her massage services and I will from now on focus on counseling, educational and informational products that support life. I plan to develop my connections with groups of successful and responsible people that I have been involved in and use my time and abilities to create as big social impact as possible.

I see what are my next challenges and there are a lot of mountains to climb yet. I am looking forward to transform myself to more open, collaborative and successful person, meet new people, expand my perspective and activate unlimited potentials that await me. There are people out there with mentality that speed up creative process to unimaginable levels and there are possibilities that no one would ever dream of.

Day 23: Toxic relationship

Days 21 and 22 are in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday I good female friend came to a visit for a business presentation of the new product that I am selling. It was agreed that I do the presentation also for my girlfriend at the same time. While doing presentation, my girlfriend made a few remarks in relation to my presentation that I did not find very constructive and supportive. But instead of me saying anything to her about that, it was a visiting friends who initiated quite extensive dialogue with my girlfriend and reflected her extremely negative, mediocre and unsupportive attitude.

Later the visiting friend shared her story about how she recently decided to brake up with her boyfriends since he was pulling her down. Before she met him, she had no problem earning a lot of money, however after meeting her boyfriend, her ability to keep money wend down extremely fast. Her boyfriend constantly programmed her with believed that having money is bad, that all rich man are crooked and that it is best to live simple natural life without need to have a lot of money.

Her boyfriend had opinion that he is just being realistic, that his opinion is total true and this influenced also his girlfriend. She tried everything possible to keep her head above the water, but even though she had been aware that money by itself is just a tool, on the unconscious level she adopted the mind patterns of her boyfriend to the extent where she lost the ability to create and attract money. Only after she broke up, she was able to clear the limiting believes that she accepted from his boyfriend and now the money started to accumulate again in her life.

That story made me also consider relationship with my girlfriend. I can easily conclude that she has extremely limiting believes about money and wealth and that she definitely influences me unconsciously. There is also a strong correlation between the time where she entered my life and the time where I started to loose my customers and ability to earn money. It has also been strange to me why all the extensive marketing that I made for my end her business services had no effect and why almost all customers came just once and never returned. I gave her to distribute hundreds of promotional flyers and not even one person called yet.

I am asking myself what is holding me in relationship with my girlfriend and why am I allowing all this destructive and limiting influence. There are definitely things that I like about my girlfriend, like the way she admires me, mostly my body attributes, how we enjoy sex, and how we both tend to research secrets of life. However she is a very stubborn person and every feedback or perspective that I express to her, she accepts as personal attack, does not engage in constructive dialogue, but just fights back and protects her current thinking and behavior patterns without any willingness to change.

When reflecting her patterns of constant criticism of others, exposing only the negative perspective, feeling sorry for herself and fearing of loosing money, she did not consider this as opportunity to change, but started to protect her ego by telling me and others that we are the negatives and that she will not allow to be yelled at and tolled what to do. She consideres herself as a brave working and totally honest girl, who does the best. It is just others who simply do not understand her and see her inner beauty.

I supported her for almost 4 year now, mentally and finically and waited and waited until she would be ready to start her process of inner transformation. She read a lot of spiritual books and told me, how Osho basically saved her life due to constant strong mantal attacks from her parents. I have met her parents and experienced myself extreme level of verbal abuse that she had been exposed to. I admire how she in spite of all the shit that she took in her life, she is relatively sane. However within the context of our relationship where I push myself extremely to transcend my own limiting mind patterns, she is the one that does not want to do the process and is pulling me down.

When entering any relationship I understand that there are some issues by harmonizing the lives of two people who have been living separate and are now together. There is always a question about what is the reason for mutual attraction, what inherited behavior patterns to tolerate and when to see that the magnitude of destructive behavior is too high for a long lasting harmonious relationship. I decided that in my case this tipping point has been reached and I will not longer tolerate the current ways of interaction with my girlfriend. Yesterday's visit opened my eyes. I see now that I have been compromising myself by allowing a person in my life with too limiting mind patterns.

I have been tolerating mental abuse from my girlfriend for too long and this also reflects on my ability to sell my products and earn enough money to cover my monthly expenses. I can simply no longer afford to go even more in debt. I understand that my believes are my responsibility and I am doing my process in order to transcending them, however my girlfriend is obviously influencing me to that extend that she is able to program me with limiting believes faster that I am able to clear them out. I want a more supportive relationship that would not be based only on some sweet words and physical admiration, but deep mutual understanding and willingness to change extensively in order to not only create a harmonious relationship, but also change the world system to what is best for all.

Day 20: Expectations self-forgiveness

These are my self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to my thinking patterns from the previous post of this blog.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become totally excited and thrilled for the subjects that I faced in different periods of my life and to fanatically share my believes in regards to the subject, considering others as stupid and less in value if they do not share the same excitement for the subject with me, instead of realizing that perspectives on any subject change based on the perception of observer and awareness.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define a product or service as something more than others and thus creating energy of good feelings instead of understanding that all products and services are just different shapes and have different use.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that something that I hear or read is absolute true purely because the messenger is presented as expert on its field, instead of realizing that any opinion is just a personal view of on individual and is limited by its current state of awareness and is also influenced by the starting point of the statement.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to expect that everyone has to buy the product that I sell instead of realizing that in the moment of my presentation person can either have different interests or priorities or they currently do not have enough money to buy the product.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to want to be praised for the products or services that I offer and thus allowing the driving force of my activities to become the good public image, instead of understanding that any product that I would ever sell is for some people appropriate at that time and for some not and that it is best to engage in sales activities without any desire for attention from others.
   
   
6. I commit myself that when and as I engage in sales activities, I breathe effectively, remain here, explain the benefits of the product, ask questions and overcome objections and understand that the product is not for everybody and thus accepting YES or NO with the same state of inner stability and equality.

Day 19: Expectations breed excitement and disappoitment

Days 16 to 18 are in my Slovenian blog

Throughout my life I have been doing different things. Every time I discovered something new, I became very excited and wanted to share my findings with others. I explained to others the magnificent details of the things that I found amazing. However in a while I went to the next step by discovering something that was even more exciting than the previous thing. It was like climbing the top of the mountains. Every time I would reach a peak, I would with enthusiasm share the magnificent view from the top, however in time I would discover that there is an ever higher mountain nearby.

In time I learned that I can not possible know how many mountains are still out there in the existence and what mountain is the ultimate in height. Thus I started to share my discoveries with others with less excitement, like I would talk about any other thing. I found out also that even if I would explained my finding to others with biggest enthusiasm, some would not be able to understand the point fully and would not be able to get excited as much as I did. Some would even start to pull me down and claim that I am crazy and that what I found out must be a lie and would not believe it. In that cases I would then become very disappointed, sad and angry.

Similar point has showed up in regards to my business and sales. It is common knowledge that if you are a businessman or salesman, the success of the sales depends upon your belief or understanding about the quality of the product. You have to get excited for the product or service that you are selling. You have the understand the value and the quality of the goods and that customers would be very satisfied if they would possess it. So then you start to explain the benefits of the product to the prospects with excitement and passion with hopes that they would take it. Consequently successful presentation brings joy and happiness and if there are no sales, disappointment, anger and depression appears in ones mind.

However successful businessman and salesman have learned not to swap moods regardless of the result of the sales presentation. With practice one develops the ability of staying emotionally stable on every single occasion. This is achieved by understanding the reality of every single business which is that regardless of how valuable product you have, never will everybody want or be able to buy the product when introduced with the benefits of the product. So every time you try to sell something, there would be some that will buy it and some that would not buy it even if you present with all the glamour in the world. Always there will be acceptance and rejection.

This is so because firstly the purchase power and peoples's interest change during time. For example you might in one occasion present the product to someone and the person would absolutely like and want the product but at that time it would be broke, it would not have enough money to buy it and it would thus decline the purchase. Then in some other occasion, the person that you present the product would have more than enough money to buy your product but would not like it or need it at that time due to different desires or priorities. However the person's interest or priorities or wants and the person's purchase power or the amount of money they currently poses constantly changes.

So the main point in every sales is to be always aware that NO does not mean, NO NEVER, but just NO AT THIS TIME. The same person that currently declined the purchase due to lack of money could soon get enough money and buy the product later. Or some person who has currently no interest in the product could soon become very interested in it due to change in it's life circumstances. Thus it is important to always accept this reality and never get to excited in someone buys the product and especially never get angry and create resentment towards the person who currently does not buy the product. It is best to every single time allow the prospect to say NO without any bad feelings.

Based on this realization it is suggested to at the beginning of presentation to clearly express to the prospect that it is OK to say NO, that you really do not care if they say YES or NO and that you will be just fine and in total acceptance with any decision about the purchase that they made at the end. And this is not best only in sales but in any single situation in life. Even in personal relationships with others you experience acceptances and rejections. So it is generally in all times suggested to always be aware of the fact that sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes is NO. And in each case you are to fully accept the reality, understand that there are substantial reasons for that decision and that by not accepting the reality you just harm yourself by creating the energy of the good or bad feelings in you mind.

Day 15: Money believes self-forgiveness

This are self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to my inherited believes from the previous post of this blog:

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that one must physically suffer and get exhausted in order to earn money in stead of realizing that one can get a lot of money in many different ways, also with not much physical works.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that one can have a lot of money only if one did and illegal activities or deceiving other instead of realizing that one can get rich also by legal and honest activities that improve the quality of other people's lives.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed desire to do things from the starting point of wanting to get attention and praise of others instead of doing what I like and what other people need without allowing myself to feel good if others praise the result of my activities.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to pay attention to my money outcomes and incomes instead of realizing that this is the basic required need if one wants to handle money with responsibility and also get rich.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to hurry and desire to surprise others with my activities without consulting with customers what they really want instead of realizing that others can only be satisfied with me if I fully understand what they want.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become influenced by other people's opinions about me instead of realizing that what others notice and say about me is basically reflection of their limiting and distorted thinking patterns.
   
   
7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of working and collaborating with others,  fearing that I would become overwhelmed instead of realizing that joint effort is important ingredient that multiplies the income and is a must if one wants to get very rich.
   
   
8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that if one has a lot of money it will automatically get corrupt, greedy and nasty towards others instead of realizing that by taking self-responsibility for ones own thoughts and feelings, one is able to successfully direct self towards what is best for all even with unlimited amount of money in possession.
   
   
9. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to get motivated to work only when I did not have enough money and then became lazy when I got enough money to cover my monthly expenses instead of directing myself and working by constantly being energetically stable.
   
   
10. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of braking any single law or rule in the society instead of realizing that rules are only functional in relation to certain states and events and if those states are not present, the rules are not more effective and can be easily disregarded.
    
    
11. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to think that rich people are irresponsible and god money just by chance instead of realizing that one can basically only get the money by managing large project that require extremely big self-discipline and responsibility.
    
    
12. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel small and unimportant in regard to larger scheme of world events instead of realizing that by careful planning, collaboration and accumulation, persistant and focused attention of one single man can make extremely big impact in this world.
    
    
13. I commit myself to read books about how to handle finances and develop habits that will enable me to manage money well, that will prevent me for never ever having too little money and that would enable me to become very rich and thus have power to be very influential in this world.
    
    
14. I commit myself to when and as I feel any positive or negative feeling, I stop and take a deep breath and move myself only based on the principle, removing every single motivation that is based on the energy, since self-control and self-mastering is a key to all great achievements.
    
    
15. I commit myself to develop the skills of working in a group and manage projects effectively in order to be able to earn more money and change the world to become a better place for all much faster.

Day 14: My believes in regards money analysis

Day 13 is in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday when I woke up and was still in bed I had a few hours of talk with my girlfriend to become more aware about my accepted believes that limit my life and that I inherited mostly from my parents. I talked for hours and became more aware of many of this thinking patterns.

The most limiting believes are in regards money, values and wealth. These believes sabotage my life in a way where I do not allow the larger money flow into my life. But I do not accept this anymore and push myself in order to overcome this limitations.

One of the related points is also the ability to work and collaborate in a group. One alone is able to generate only a limited income and in order to earn more money, there is basically no other option but to learn how to work as a team in a network or company of several or more people.

And besides limited believes in regard money, the important point is also to know how to handle the money. This includes discipline to track all the money incomes and outcomes, generated profit or money currently available and fixed monthly costs. Some believes that I got from observing my father:

1. You have to physically work hard in order to earn money
2. Rich people got their money only by dirty business
3. If you have a lot of money, you will get corrupt
4. Don't count your money, just do your work best
5. Surprise others by producing before they even order
6. What others think about you is very important
7. Do not stick your nose in other people's business
8. If you care mostly for yourself, you always be just fine
9. Do what you like, follow your excitement
10. Best to work alone since other people are terrible
11. Don't ask what others want, do what you think is best
12. Eat well, enjoy, have fun, since life is short
13. Respect the law, since your public image is very important
14. You are just a small man, so you have to care for yourself
15. Do not load to much work, have a quiet simple life

Now I am pushing myself to transcending those limiting believes. I have started to work in several international and local groups to learn how to collaborate. I care to ask for other people's perspective before I do projects. I have engaged in business that will generate more money.

But there are still believes in me that needs to be removed. These believes make me bed when trying to sell a product with high value or price. I try to innovate and change things that work well and make them work not so well anymore. I still have resistance in regards keeping up to date records of all my money transitions. And when I get enough money I loose my motivation to work in till I am again short of money.

Day 12: Sleeping habits self-correction

1. I commit myself to when and as I notice that I am tired, I go to bed and take a nap without indulging in watching movies that just entertain my mind and function as distraction.
   
   
2. I commit myself to when and as I go to sleep, I set the alarm clock to the latest time when I have to get up and if I wake up earlier, I go out of the bed without checking the clock and start my daily routine.
   
   
3. I commit myself to when and as I look at the watch or clock during the day, I do this purely in order to estimate how much time I have to the next meeting and do not allow to be influenced about how I feel by the time indicator.
   
   
4. I commit myself to when and as I read or hear some information in regards to sleep, I put in on practical test and see if it really work.
   
   
5. I commit myself to research what the act of sleeping really represent from perspective of life and align my sleeping pattern in order to best support my life and be as much effective as possible in regards to agenda of making this world a better place for all.
   
   

Day 11: Sleeping habits self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepting and allowed myself for information in regards sleeping that I read in the magazines, books and heard from other people to create my believes about how much sleep do I actually need.
   
   
   
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to check what time is it when I go to the bed and what time is it when I wake up and then calculate in my mind how many hours I have been sleeping and then creating a belief if I am rested enough or if I need to continue sleeping.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the digits on the watch and the clock hands to create my perception about time and how one day is sliced into hours and minutes and how I have to feel in regards to what time this measuring devices display instead of simply being here and moving myself in this moment.
   
   
4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perceive each day as the same due to the the same amount of time displayed on the clock instead of focusing on my breath and observing my surrounding and working with what is here in this present moment.
   
   
5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to when I go to bed in the evening to observe the clock and then decide how much I still have time for fun time and watching movies instead of observing how my physical body feel and if it needs rest and if not rather read a supportive book to develop my potentials.
   
   
6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the nice feeling of softness and warmth in the bed in the morning to bring me in the state of procrastination instead of jumping up from the bed and looking forward to many new adventures that each day brings.

Day 10: My sleeping sensations and perceptions

Post for Day 9 is in my Slovenian blog

In the couple of previous blog posts I analysed my sleeping habits and believes. Today my girlfriend shared another information or belief that each hour of sleep before midnight counts double comparing to each hour of slee after midnight. So for example if one goes to sleep at 10 pm, the first two hours of sleep count as four hours of sleep or as much as sleeping from 12 pm to 4 am. I don't know if this is a fact or if this really is true, but this motivated me in considering that I should also try getting to bed earlier and also waking up earlier. Thus today I will go to sleep at about 10 pm and see what will be the effect.

But now I want to write also abut my sleeping sensations. It was about 6 years ago when I started to notice a moving sensation when falling into sleep. When I firstly encountered this, I believed that I am experiencing an earthquake and I became frightened. After couple of similar experiences I became used to this sensation and began to understood what was really going on. The fact is that physical body is constantly shaking and vibrating or pulsating, but we somehow do not register that. The shaking is due to pulsation of the hearth or pumping blood throughout the entire body.

Think about this! Human body is quite large comparing to most of animal species and all the cells in every part of the body need a flow of fresh blood. It is about 2 meters from toes to top of the head and each part needs to be reached. It takes a massive force to pump the blood and hearth is doing this action by contracting and expanding approximately once or twice every single second. Every time when blood is pushed through the veins, the shockwave is created that shakes entire body. So couple of years ago, when I laid down into bed, within the process of falling into sleep I slowly started to feel this vibrations. And now this has become a standard sensation basically every time I go to bed or even lay down just for a short rest.

The next perception in regards sleeping is even more strange and somehow frustrating. It is about perception of time. The experience of time is very different and relative to motivation and also physical movement through the space. It is also very different to being awake and being asleep or unconscious. What bugs me the most is that sometimes when I go to bed for my famous 20 minute midday nap, I set the clock to ring after 20 minutes. Then I relax and wait for the clock to ring. Sometimes when it rings, I perceive it like just 3 second have past since I went to bed and not 20 minutes! So the time duration of sleep somehow does not really matte.

What basically creates the effect of being rested is very specific event that happens during the rest. I observed it for many times and it is like this. Firstly I lay down and totally relax every all the muscles on my body. Then I usually start to feel shaking of the body, like a gentle earthquake. Then after certain time, a transitions occurs where I feel like a weight would be lifted from within my body or my body would become lighter and also my mind clearer. From stage of mind activity and thinking, I would transfer in a stage of no thought but just awareness and presence.

So during my midday nap, the main objective is to experience this sensation of transition from heaviness to lightness where I would become refreshed or reset and ready for a new action. But during the night sleep I guess there is a bit different process going on. But it makes sense that sleeping habits can be improved and thus maximum relaxation and regeneration achieved by using as little of sleeping time possible. This will be my challenge to research and implement in order to make more of my daily potentials. 

Day 8: My sleeping habits analysis continued

Post for Day 7 is in my Slovenian blog

Today was a day when I watched movies until 1 am and I went to sleep feeling great since I watched a very fun sweet 16 movie with a great life lesson. But at the same time I felt bad and guilty since I went to sleep so late. I set my alarm clock to wake up at 7 am, so just after 6 hours of sleep. But when it rang I started thinking that I have not received enough sleep so I pressed snooze a couple of times and was able to get out of bed not before 8 am.

It is funny how strong I believe that I need at least 7 hours of sleep. And this is simply due to mental perception and calculation. I read once that people who sleep 8 to 9 hours a day look better, age slower and look younger. And this is also why I want to sleep around 8 hours every night. I fell great when people ask about how old I am and I invite them to guess. Most people give me 10 years less that my real age and I give the contribution for this to my sleeping habits.

I don't know when and why I got this, but as long as I remember, I have some kind of vision that I will live about 130 years. And according to this vision, I also treat myself good, meaning that I care for my physical and emotion body, assure low level of stress, quality food and then of course quality sleeping time. I perceive sleeping as a very big contributor to my younger looks. I read that proper sleeping length has a very rejuvenating effect and I definitely want to apply it.

Then I have noticed, how the time system, the watches and clocks influence my daily activities extensively. I wish my life would be as simple as the life of animals, who do not have any time measuring instruments and can still live a full life. But people, we have invented devices that slice each day to hours, to minutes and to seconds. And 24 hours day and 365 days year system is nor perfect nor the only one in existence. Different countries measure time and days differently and it is only in near past where we began unifying time measuring systems.

I have researched other time measuring methods like Vedic and Mayan calendars and they are much more holistic and do not diminish the perception of cyclic cosmic events to such limited way as our 24/365 system that needs to leave out a whole day in every several years in order to realign. Measuring each day with the same clock has a great psychological effect. It creates a perception that each day is the same as the day before, while the Mayan calendar defines each day as very different, with different cosmic and planetary influences and is thus not to be treated equal.

My day is based on the visual perception the 12 hour clock image in my mind and perceive the movements of clock hands as climbing or descending. At 6 am the hand is at its lowest point and thus at 6 am want to stay in the bed. When clock hand starts its climb, I also get out of the bed. At noon I am full up and running. However at 3 pm the clock hand is in the middle of descend and I want to take a midday nap. At 6 pm the clock is again at its lowest and I prepare for fun activities. At 9 pm my mental activities diminish. However I do not want to go to bed yet. I want to experience the midnight hour since it is an important event of transition into a whole new day.

I wonder how would my life be if I would not have any clocks or watches, if I would not be able to know what time it is. Would I fell the same during the day? Definitely not. Currently I become tired basically because I see what time it is, then in my mind I immediately calculate how much time I have worked and conclude that I must be tired and I deserve the rest simply due to elapsed time that I calculated. This definitely is not the best way to live a life. I must figure out a different method of managing my life. I must not allow this to continue, for digits on the watch and hand of the clock to control my life to such extend. I will research alternatives in my next blog post.

Day 6: Someone stole my windscreen wiper

You can find my Day 5 blog post in my Slovenian blog

Yesterday it was raining and I had to make a delivery in the town. I decided to take my car that has been parked for couple of days around the corner of nearby building. When I started driving and turned on the windscreen wipers, I was shocked since instead of wiper wiping the raindrops off the windscreen, I bare steel wiper handle scratched the glass. Someone has stolen my wiper! It was friday evening and the car repair shop was already closed. So I decided to make a delivery in spite of my wipers being broken.

After delivery I decided to go to the nearest gas pump and check out if they have the wipers on stock. The pump girl asked me what length of wipers do I need. I did not know that, so I firstly checked the car instructions and there was also no information about that. So I call the car assistance telephone number and asked for the data.

I told them the car brand and model and the operator asked if I need the information for the right or the left wiper. I said that my car has only one wiper handle, but the operator insisted that my car model has two handles. I then checked the wiper again and found out that in deed my car model had two handles, but they did not only steal the wiper from the handle, but completely broke off the second metal handle and I did not notice that in the first place since I was quite under shock. So I decided to wait for the next morning and drive my car to the car shop immediately when they open at 8 am.

After arriving to the car shop next morning, I told the shop receptionist what happend and if they can assist me. They did not had the handle for my car model on stock so I placed an order and it is expected to be delivered on Monday afternoon. This quite thwarted my business plans since I expected to do several business house meetings on Sunday. I will have to see if it will stop raining tomorrow and if I will be able to do the visits in spite ob broken wipers. And the total wipers repair costs is estimated to be about 100 €, so I am also not very happy about additional unexpected cost.

Now I am thinking about if I shall report this car part theft and damage to the police or if this is such a small event they they would not want to bother. Then I am thinking that if it would be better to always park my car in the front of my house where I can see it from my windows and where it would also be near a security camera of nearby Italian embassy. I am thinking about who and why did someone do this to me, if this was a targeted act or a random theft and why they not only stole both wipers but also broke one wiper handle that they would also not be able to use or sell since it is broken.

I am angry that someone did this damage to my car that will take my time and money to restore. Was this a pure vandalism? Did someone see the wipers as opportunity to get some valuable object that could be sold and exchanged for drugs or something? And what can I do now to prevent similar event to happen in the future?

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become shocked when I noticed that my car wipers are not as I would expected to be, since anything can happen with any object that I possess and am surrounded with, especially since they are accessible also to other beings in my community.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to worry about what might happen to my possession in the future instead of realizing that everything in this physical existence is subject to change and under influence of many forces, events and beings that are part of this world.
   
   
3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed not to realize that everything on this world is borrowed to me just for a short time from birth to death and when I die I will leave everything behind so it is best all the time to be aware of that fact and not get attached to anything outside of me.
   
   
4. I commit myself to all the time focus on my breath and observe my surrounding as it is in this very moment and accept the current state pf physical reality without any expectations about how it should be.
   
   
5. I commit myself to always work only with what is here and use the endless opportunities to reach my goals and objections in any possible way that is available.
   
   
6. I commit myself to change the world system so that it will support all basic needs of all living being in this world by implementing Equal Money System that will also remove the need of theft or taking away the possessions of other in order to support oneself.

Day 4: A TV production crew will shoot my portrait

You can find my Day 3 blog post in my Slovenian blog

I am very excited since in half an hour I expect a TV production crew to arrive at my apartment. They intend to shoot a video portrait of my personality. Final product will be a 5-minute long movie but expected time of video recording in my apartment and in nearby park is to be about 6 hours. The edited video is to be aired on about 18th of April 2013 in a new TV show on our biggest commercial TV stations.

The reason they decided to do a movie portrait of me is because a couple of weeks ago I sold one of the last pieces of my professional video equipment to the nearby video production company that shoots ads and show for several national TV stations. It was the young director of Studio Produkcija who ordered me to bring the video equipment for display and at that time I also gave him my business card.

Later this director checked out my web site and noticed a series of my 30 short videos where I explained different perspectives about human mind, feelings and emotions in order for prospect who seek psychological counseling and coaching to know more about my approach and decide to book a meeting with me. Director became very impressed about the videos and decided to call me since they are just producing a new TV show with a multiple times awarded radio host Denis Avdič.

I expect the airing of my video portrait will assist me in expanding my public recognition and this could result also in getting more customers for my Zakladi življenja business and preparation to my planned political career of implementing Equal Money System. So my transition from being on the back of the camera while working for about 10 years as professional photographer, to becoming one of the characters on the front of cameras is becoming more and more real.

Let us now see how the shooting will turn out and what will be the final product and its effect on my business and public opinion.

Day 2: Influence of other being on my life

Since I have started to listen to Desteni videos, especially vlogs and interdimentional interviews, I realized, how much each one of us has been influenced by the structure of systems in this reality that extends beyond what human physical senses can detect.

Similar to electromagnetic radio, TV and mobile phone signals that we can not see, however they do in fact exist, how can we know what other systems and frequency transmissions we have been and are exposed without ever noticing. We may perceive that we have a free well, that we live in a free world but we can not know how extensive we are influenced by many intangible things.

Out thoughts appear in our minds without knowing how they are produced, where they come from and if anyone else is producing them and thus controlling us. Some say certain thoughts are from devil, some from angels, some from god or higher me, so the question is then how to know the origin and starting points of this voices in our heads and the emotional energies that are produced as the result of the following of those thoughts.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to take my thought for granted without every really investigating where they come from and how they influence my life.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be directed by outside influences without making sure that starting point of each of my action is what is best for all.
   
   
3. I forgive myself not to stand up and take full responsibility for my life but instead allowing to be directed by thought and energy polarity of positive and negative feelings.
   
   
4. I commit myself to research all the intangible influences on me and my life and exposing them for what they are.
   
   
5. I commit myself to stop the influence of thoughts, emotions and feelings by focusing on my breath whenever I notica a thought in my mind without me being its creator.
   
   
6. I commit myself to direct myself in every single breath aligned wit the principle of equality and what is best for all.

Day 1: Understanding energy

After completing DIP Lite free online course where I established a habit of daily writing, I am now joining the 7-years daily blogging challenge for Life. This means that for the next 7 years I am committing myself to regularly each day write at least a short blog post that will assist me in realizing and changing some of my thinking and habit patterns that are not based on the principles of equality and what is best for all. Since I already am having two blogs; this one in English language and the other one in Slovenian language, I decided to write every first day in my English and every second day in my Slovenian blog.

So for the first entry of my 7-years Journey to Life challenge I will start by realization how extensively energy of the mind controls my life. For example in the past days I have been involved in a new business launch preparation activities where I was to to a lot of thinking, planning and decision making. By trying to estimate and predict what would be the consequences of different decisions, I tried to figure out the one that would lead to desired results.

Within this thinking I noticed that I started to feel more heavier and heavier until I lost the will to work and I had to take some rest. Usually a 20 minutes nap in my bed assist with recuperating myself until I would become motivated again for the work. While resting I notice that I start to thing in a subconscious way where all the thought and ideas come together and then subconsciously I come to some conclusion that launches me up and gives me a new momentum. Within that I start to feel light or weightless and I immediately go to action.

Common people could say this kind of working process in normal and usual, however I have watched a couple of days a video titled Self Change through Self Movement: DAY 332 where it was explain how this process of work is very limited and that there are better ways to move yourself in this reality. It is in fact living in a polarity of positive and negative energy instead of releasing oneself from the influence of mind energy in totality and directing yourself in every breath as life.

And while doing research on education, I realized how extensively I was influenced by playing the computer games, working with computer, watching TV and practicing masturbation in my childhood years and how this made me extensively addicted to mind energy and need for mind stimulation. I became more and more isolated and not very socialized, satisfied by my own bubble of reality where computers and TV screen became my world of choice within I could enjoy the stimulation of pictures, sounds and feeling of achievement.

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the computer and TV screen to become my main door to experience reality of this life instead of realizing that most of people do even not have electricity and thus no computer.
   
   
2. I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed watching movies to become my favorite way of relaxing when starting to feel tired instead of realizing that it only creates more stress in my mind and filles me with additional pictures of scenes and more information that I then have to process and digest.
   
   
3. I commit myself that when I star to feel tired I take a deep breath and do some proper rest and work with information that is here and move myself within this physical reality.
   
   
4. I commit myself to do more research within physical interaction with other people by attending social event instead of being lazy and only observing people via computer and social networks such as FaceBook.