Today I have had a Skype audio chat with a guy from Slovenia who I met on FaceBook and is managing some Slovenian environmental FaceBook group. I have checked his profile and noticed that he is also involved in the Wikileaks project. So I contacted him and we talked about our backgrounds and current activities. He explained that he is preparing Wikileaks Slovenia project that would expose all the corruption that journalism and police do not want to expose due to lack of will or fear or corruption. Besides exposing the crimes, there is also plan to prosecute those crimes and punish the people who abuse other people and steal large amount of money in more or less legal ways.
I saw here the opportunity to join the forces in bringing the better world, so I wanted to introduce Desteni and the solutions to this guy. After he introduced himself it was my turn to share my background and then I asked him some questions in order to see how he understands the root cause of current world imbalance and what is his idea of fixing the situation. He explained that what is needed is to move to non-profit model of organizations and the way to manifest this model is through the introduction of proper legislation. When I asked him about how he understands the driving force of greed, he answered that this is not his line of job and that he does not care.
I noticed that he became very restless, he constantly interrupted me and started to explain what are his plans and what he needs, how he is totally broke and how sometimes works up to 20 hours per day and that many people from different fields are contacting him daily and wanting to talk to him. He became more and more upset, talking and talking, and did not want to give me the opportunity to explain what are my intentions. I tried to explain that at Desteni we share the same goals of making this world a better place, and that there is course for self-realization and Equal Money System prepared as the effective practical solutions to achieve this goals.
After I explained him that I am interested in cooperation, he said that he does not care about what other people do and that he is only willing to find out how can we help him at the Wikileaks project. He was not willing to even check the Desteni stuff for himself. When I asked him if he is interested in gaining the bigger picture about how and why this world exists the way it is, he replied that the way how general science explains this existence is sufficient for him and that he is only willing to focus on legal approach of fixing this reality. I asked him is he is aware that during our conversation he emotionally reacted and projected his past experiences and I suggested to support himself at understanding how the mind and emotions work with the tools of Desteni, but he did not want to listen.
I explained that I did not wanted to speak with him only to support his project and that my interest is cooperation and the solutions that are best for all, thus we both need to be opened, listen to each other equally and research what solutions are the best. Since he constantly interrupted me, with justification that this is simple the way his personality is, and did not want to listen to what I had to say, I told him that I am not interested in continuing this conversation, that I do not have respect for the people who only want to protect their own interest and then I said good bye.
This was another example of the people who are not really interested in equality and stopping their egos, but just positioned themselves at some activist role and blindly follow what they believe is right, just to feel good and special, which is as much elitism and self-interest as of the people that they are supposedly fighting against. The root cause of evil in this world is self, and the self needs to take the full responsibility of everything that exists, become one with all existence by applying self-forgiveness and then only is one able to change this reality to what is best for all, based not on feelings, emotions, judgements and projections, but on the principle of equality and with inner stability as all as one and equal.
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05 January 2011
2011 - My chat experience with founder of Wikileaks Slovenia
Today I have had a Skype audio chat with a guy from Slovenia who I met on FaceBook and is managing some Slovenian environmental FaceBook group. I have checked his profile and noticed that he is also involved in the Wikileaks project. So I contacted him and we talked about our backgrounds and current activities. He explained that he is preparing Wikileaks Slovenia project that would expose all the corruption that journalism and police do not want to expose due to lack of will or fear or corruption. Besides exposing the crimes, there is also plan to prosecute those crimes and punish the people who abuse other people and steal large amount of money in more or less legal ways.
I saw here the opportunity to join the forces in bringing the better world, so I wanted to introduce Desteni and the solutions to this guy. After he introduced himself it was my turn to share my background and then I asked him some questions in order to see how he understands the root cause of current world imbalance and what is his idea of fixing the situation. He explained that what is needed is to move to non-profit model of organizations and the way to manifest this model is through the introduction of proper legislation. When I asked him about how he understands the driving force of greed, he answered that this is not his line of job and that he does not care.
I noticed that he became very restless, he constantly interrupted me and started to explain what are his plans and what he needs, how he is totally broke and how sometimes works up to 20 hours per day and that many people from different fields are contacting him daily and wanting to talk to him. He became more and more upset, talking and talking, and did not want to give me the opportunity to explain what are my intentions. I tried to explain that at Desteni we share the same goals of making this world a better place, and that there is course for self-realization and Equal Money System prepared as the effective practical solutions to achieve this goals.
After I explained him that I am interested in cooperation, he said that he does not care about what other people do and that he is only willing to find out how can we help him at the Wikileaks project. He was not willing to even check the Desteni stuff for himself. When I asked him if he is interested in gaining the bigger picture about how and why this world exists the way it is, he replied that the way how general science explains this existence is sufficient for him and that he is only willing to focus on legal approach of fixing this reality. I asked him is he is aware that during our conversation he emotionally reacted and projected his past experiences and I suggested to support himself at understanding how the mind and emotions work with the tools of Desteni, but he did not want to listen.
I explained that I did not wanted to speak with him only to support his project and that my interest is cooperation and the solutions that are best for all, thus we both need to be opened, listen to each other equally and research what solutions are the best. Since he constantly interrupted me, with justification that this is simple the way his personality is, and did not want to listen to what I had to say, I told him that I am not interested in continuing this conversation, that I do not have respect for the people who only want to protect their own interest and then I said good bye.
This was another example of the people who are not really interested in equality and stopping their egos, but just positioned themselves at some activist role and blindly follow what they believe is right, just to feel good and special, which is as much elitism and self-interest as of the people that they are supposedly fighting against. The root cause of evil in this world is self, and the self needs to take the full responsibility of everything that exists, become one with all existence by applying self-forgiveness and then only is one able to change this reality to what is best for all, based not on feelings, emotions, judgements and projections, but on the principle of equality and with inner stability as all as one and equal.
.
I saw here the opportunity to join the forces in bringing the better world, so I wanted to introduce Desteni and the solutions to this guy. After he introduced himself it was my turn to share my background and then I asked him some questions in order to see how he understands the root cause of current world imbalance and what is his idea of fixing the situation. He explained that what is needed is to move to non-profit model of organizations and the way to manifest this model is through the introduction of proper legislation. When I asked him about how he understands the driving force of greed, he answered that this is not his line of job and that he does not care.
I noticed that he became very restless, he constantly interrupted me and started to explain what are his plans and what he needs, how he is totally broke and how sometimes works up to 20 hours per day and that many people from different fields are contacting him daily and wanting to talk to him. He became more and more upset, talking and talking, and did not want to give me the opportunity to explain what are my intentions. I tried to explain that at Desteni we share the same goals of making this world a better place, and that there is course for self-realization and Equal Money System prepared as the effective practical solutions to achieve this goals.
After I explained him that I am interested in cooperation, he said that he does not care about what other people do and that he is only willing to find out how can we help him at the Wikileaks project. He was not willing to even check the Desteni stuff for himself. When I asked him if he is interested in gaining the bigger picture about how and why this world exists the way it is, he replied that the way how general science explains this existence is sufficient for him and that he is only willing to focus on legal approach of fixing this reality. I asked him is he is aware that during our conversation he emotionally reacted and projected his past experiences and I suggested to support himself at understanding how the mind and emotions work with the tools of Desteni, but he did not want to listen.
I explained that I did not wanted to speak with him only to support his project and that my interest is cooperation and the solutions that are best for all, thus we both need to be opened, listen to each other equally and research what solutions are the best. Since he constantly interrupted me, with justification that this is simple the way his personality is, and did not want to listen to what I had to say, I told him that I am not interested in continuing this conversation, that I do not have respect for the people who only want to protect their own interest and then I said good bye.
This was another example of the people who are not really interested in equality and stopping their egos, but just positioned themselves at some activist role and blindly follow what they believe is right, just to feel good and special, which is as much elitism and self-interest as of the people that they are supposedly fighting against. The root cause of evil in this world is self, and the self needs to take the full responsibility of everything that exists, become one with all existence by applying self-forgiveness and then only is one able to change this reality to what is best for all, based not on feelings, emotions, judgements and projections, but on the principle of equality and with inner stability as all as one and equal.
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2011 - Exposing secret mind related to submissive personality
This blog post is the extra support for the point that I stopped in the moment a few moments ago and started to expose and defuse verbally. I experienced the tiny skin irritation while I was listening some Desteni video and meanwhile browsed my Record of participation spreadsheet. While my eyes flew over the line where I had a description of the TV show that I watched yesterday, the line of secret mind events happened.
Yesterday I started to note also all of non-Destonian videos and texts that I process, in order for others to be more informed about all the aspects of my Desteni related participation during the day. One of the videos that I watched yesterday was our weekly national television political report called "Globus". I record three pieces of information when I log every blog post or video that I watch, namely the author/source/channel name, the video/post title and the URL. While copy/pasting the name of the TV show to my spreadsheet, I have put myself in the shoes of the person who might watched the show and understood it as not being informative enough in order for the person to gain perspective what the show is about and if it is related to Desteni process. Thus I have added to the name of the show "Globus" also the description in the brackets "(National TV weekly international political news report)".
Now when my eyes caught this description line, there was a reaction. I immediately stopped with listening the Desteni video and decided without mercy to track back "the devil". The first thought behind the emotional reaction that I brought here was that others might interpret my detailed description of TV show as self-praise, thus they will judge me and not accept me. When I went step further in order to expose why would I want to be afraid of this, I found out the desire to be accepted by others. I wanted to prove to others that I am worth of acceptance since I have become such an exemplary Destonian, giving all the best to follow the guidelines of Desteni administration, so I also research the political system by watching the political shows. But the origin of this desire is the fear that I will not be accepted by the Desteni group, that is based on Definition that Desteni group as something more, that is based on my self-accepted believe.
The basic reason for all this is in lack of self-trust due to accepted and allowed personality patterns that I accepted in the past years of my life. Since my father is a choleric dictator, I learned that the best way of me getting what I want (money, things that I desired), and to avoid what I do not want (emotional and physical violence from my father), was to suppress myself, to be quiet and to do what my father wanted me to do. And the same relationship exist even today between me and my father. I still visit him and work for him a few times per week and he still expects me to read his mind and to do exactly what he wants and exactly the way he imagines, without using many words to describe what he wants. Thus this personality pattern is also evident while participating at Desteni. I try not to comment much, not to express myself fully, since I do not want any reactions from others.
But all the fear of being judged from others is based in lack of self-trust. I allowed myself to compromise and abuse myself for many years, allowing personal opinions of others to become the sacred truth and thus learned not to stand up for what I perceived is right/best for all. I have allowed injustice/imbalance/inequality in order to survive in this system where the winner takes it all, where the one that is more powerful destroys all those that are week, if they do not become the slaves of the powerful. Thus I need to align my starting point of creating the Record of participation from wanting to prove to others that I am worth of acceptance and to protecting my current personality/ego, into practical recording in order to equally share the information and support others in the process of exposing what we have become as the systems.
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Yesterday I started to note also all of non-Destonian videos and texts that I process, in order for others to be more informed about all the aspects of my Desteni related participation during the day. One of the videos that I watched yesterday was our weekly national television political report called "Globus". I record three pieces of information when I log every blog post or video that I watch, namely the author/source/channel name, the video/post title and the URL. While copy/pasting the name of the TV show to my spreadsheet, I have put myself in the shoes of the person who might watched the show and understood it as not being informative enough in order for the person to gain perspective what the show is about and if it is related to Desteni process. Thus I have added to the name of the show "Globus" also the description in the brackets "(National TV weekly international political news report)".
Now when my eyes caught this description line, there was a reaction. I immediately stopped with listening the Desteni video and decided without mercy to track back "the devil". The first thought behind the emotional reaction that I brought here was that others might interpret my detailed description of TV show as self-praise, thus they will judge me and not accept me. When I went step further in order to expose why would I want to be afraid of this, I found out the desire to be accepted by others. I wanted to prove to others that I am worth of acceptance since I have become such an exemplary Destonian, giving all the best to follow the guidelines of Desteni administration, so I also research the political system by watching the political shows. But the origin of this desire is the fear that I will not be accepted by the Desteni group, that is based on Definition that Desteni group as something more, that is based on my self-accepted believe.
The basic reason for all this is in lack of self-trust due to accepted and allowed personality patterns that I accepted in the past years of my life. Since my father is a choleric dictator, I learned that the best way of me getting what I want (money, things that I desired), and to avoid what I do not want (emotional and physical violence from my father), was to suppress myself, to be quiet and to do what my father wanted me to do. And the same relationship exist even today between me and my father. I still visit him and work for him a few times per week and he still expects me to read his mind and to do exactly what he wants and exactly the way he imagines, without using many words to describe what he wants. Thus this personality pattern is also evident while participating at Desteni. I try not to comment much, not to express myself fully, since I do not want any reactions from others.
But all the fear of being judged from others is based in lack of self-trust. I allowed myself to compromise and abuse myself for many years, allowing personal opinions of others to become the sacred truth and thus learned not to stand up for what I perceived is right/best for all. I have allowed injustice/imbalance/inequality in order to survive in this system where the winner takes it all, where the one that is more powerful destroys all those that are week, if they do not become the slaves of the powerful. Thus I need to align my starting point of creating the Record of participation from wanting to prove to others that I am worth of acceptance and to protecting my current personality/ego, into practical recording in order to equally share the information and support others in the process of exposing what we have become as the systems.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress and compromise myself by allowing force and energy of others to direct my life and to become a slave, instead of unconditionally directing myself in alignment with all life as one and equal.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on support of others, developing the need to hear opinions of others and to seek approval of my actions, instead of relying on myself in total honesty, trusting myself unconditionally and do what is best for all.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the level of my self-expression, fearing what others might think of me, instead of realizing that if I act in total self-trust, it is not important what others think, since when I am one with all life and support all life, the emotional reactions of others are based on their ego/mind/systems that are not life and are thus agains life and are not worth of being regarded.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as insignificant being who has no power in this word, that I need to be born in certain blood line or rich family with influential connections, instead of realizing that when I stand as equal and one with all life, there is no system/energy/force that is more powerful than me, since I support all the existence and all the existence supports me back equally.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for the systems to rule this word and to destroy the life, taking the feelings and emotions as the energetic reward for becoming the obedient slave/battery/engine of the systems, instead of realizing that the systems do not consider life as one and equal, they only protect their self-interest, wanting more and more energy and thus bringing creation out of balance, thus they need to be removed/aligned with the principle of equality in order for balance/heaven on earth to be restored.
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04 January 2011
2011 - No more mercy in regards to my mind-fucks!
I decided to do more blogs in order to defuse as many subconscious reactive mind patterns, since I have noticed that my mind produces a lot of thoughts that I have been unable to stop by focusing on breathing. I remember to be more successful a few months ago, but now it is like I have accepted thinking as something normal. Due to occasional vertigo and dreams with great hight and and deep water, I have understood it like I have been pushing myself over capacity, trying to compare myself to others who are doing more blogs and vlogs and participate on the forums and making comments much more extensively. I also do not push myself with sleeping less anymore and will focus on that point later, after I feel that I am prepared to go step further. Regardless of how I want to progress much faster, I can not go over capacity of my physical.
I have done almost one blog per day, sometimes also two blogs per day in this holiday time, when I had not much other work to do. However whenever I do my blog, it takes around one hour to finish. First to write it, then check for spelling a few times, and finally share it on several different locations. I have concluded that writing blogs is the only effective way to defuse my mind patterns, since it is the tool where I am able to slow myself down successfully and expose all the points of my secret mind. In regards to this, writing is surely unparalleled tool, however I can only defuse small amount of point within one blog post.
I have noticed, how during the day, hundreds of small emotional reactions are triggered. For each reaction I feel a tiny itch, like a sting of a needle on the skin around my genitals. This reactions are so small and fast that I disregard them and continue with what I do at that moment. I consider them as something very tiny, too small to be worth of paying attention to. But there are numerous reactions like this during the day that compound more and more. Especially when I am exposed to some disturbing event, like watching some report of movie about how fucked up this current reality is, my skin around genitals becomes very itch and I feel the unbearable urge to scratch the skin. After I do the blogs, the condition normalizes, but if I do not blog for a few days, the condition gets worse.
Now I have been considering what to do to deal with this reactions more effectively. I wanted to write a blog post for every single small reaction, but then I would write all my day long, which is not doable, since other things also need my attention. Thus I will also do self-forgiveness verbally. Whenever I will feel the sting-like sensation, I will stop doing whatever I do and ask myself what thought are behind this reaction and I will speak self-forgiveness out loud. If I will not be able to see the secret thoughts, I will immediately start writing in order to bring my thoughts here with the more effective tool and then defuse the patterns.
NO MORE MERCY!
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I have done almost one blog per day, sometimes also two blogs per day in this holiday time, when I had not much other work to do. However whenever I do my blog, it takes around one hour to finish. First to write it, then check for spelling a few times, and finally share it on several different locations. I have concluded that writing blogs is the only effective way to defuse my mind patterns, since it is the tool where I am able to slow myself down successfully and expose all the points of my secret mind. In regards to this, writing is surely unparalleled tool, however I can only defuse small amount of point within one blog post.
I have noticed, how during the day, hundreds of small emotional reactions are triggered. For each reaction I feel a tiny itch, like a sting of a needle on the skin around my genitals. This reactions are so small and fast that I disregard them and continue with what I do at that moment. I consider them as something very tiny, too small to be worth of paying attention to. But there are numerous reactions like this during the day that compound more and more. Especially when I am exposed to some disturbing event, like watching some report of movie about how fucked up this current reality is, my skin around genitals becomes very itch and I feel the unbearable urge to scratch the skin. After I do the blogs, the condition normalizes, but if I do not blog for a few days, the condition gets worse.
Now I have been considering what to do to deal with this reactions more effectively. I wanted to write a blog post for every single small reaction, but then I would write all my day long, which is not doable, since other things also need my attention. Thus I will also do self-forgiveness verbally. Whenever I will feel the sting-like sensation, I will stop doing whatever I do and ask myself what thought are behind this reaction and I will speak self-forgiveness out loud. If I will not be able to see the secret thoughts, I will immediately start writing in order to bring my thoughts here with the more effective tool and then defuse the patterns.
NO MORE MERCY!
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01 January 2011
2011 - About one man who impressed me a lot in past several years
There is one man who I also dreamed about yesterday and who impressed me a lot with his approach, but who is also running away from open contact with me lately. This man has a certain qualities that I admire a lot, however he has also made some actions that I am not a great fun of.
This man is in his fifties, has a house near our city swimming pool with large and robust forged iron fence around, a large slimy dog and about thirty years old son. He has been a manager of our local swimming club, who is the most successful in our country and the selector of our national swimming team. He has also competed in swimming when he was young and his son is also involved in swimming as a teacher. He moved to our region from other part of our country, which is know by its vineyards and a lot more calm people than here, where we all rush, compete and envy to each others.
We started to cooperate in business manner about five years ago and I have become official graphic designer and photographer for the local swimming club and I also shot events and made a lot of designs for the national swimming team and international swimming events, organized by the National Swimming Association of Slovenia. He is a great manager and organizer, he trusted me and gave me a full freedom to express myself as graphic designer and photographer, and there was never the problem regarding money. All my invoices have been payed in time and by the sum of money made, he was one of, if not the largest of my customers. He was very skilled at raising money from different sponsors that I also included and promoted in my design works for the club.
But a few years ago he stopped the orders. This was also the time when I decided to slowly redirect my services to psychological services. I found out that he started to order designs at some of the design student who was also the active member of the swimming club. I found out that this decision was made in order for the club to save money, since her designs were more cheaper, but also lesser quality. However the quality of her work was good enough for the club, and the club also wanted to support her since she was an active member of the club. I was disappointed about stopping working for the club, also since I was not directly explained about that decision, they have cut me off like I became useless for them.
This guy, the manager of the club at that time, decided to run for the mayor office and also became the mayor of our city a few months ago. He really does know how to impress people, how to please them, is good at handling money, making connections and providing the progress. He never deletes anyone from his phone address book and is able to direct attention effectively in order to reach the goals. His campaign was great, he made himself available for anyone in person, had a nice web site and published special editions of the newspaper, to present his program and himself as a reliable and capable person. But there are also some points that he did not excel at the way I expected.
The first point was his cold attitude of cutting me off the swimming club without giving a try to even speak to me one word about it. Then while he was at the pre-elections stand, we talked and he complained how his eyesight is getting worse. I explained him that this is due some mind patterns that he holds to and that prevents him to see the full picture. I suggested him that he invites me to his place, so I can introduce him the Desteni solutions of self-realization and also the political solutions that are very important to understand if he really wants to support all the people as one and equal while playing the role of a mayor. He gave me his word that he will invite me even before elections, but he did not fulfill his promise. I then sent him an email and have also visited the office of the mayor after he was elected, but he did not invite me for a meeting yet.
So this man has been at some points a role model for me, since he was a very successful at his job, was able to raise money, payed all the bills in time and appreciated the work I did. However he is very goal-oriented, supported competition and elitism, and was not able to be really intimately and opened share himself with others. His communication was very narrow oriented, only to have the effect in fulfilling his self-interest. Of course he also provided for others, but only for those, who he saw as a part of his equation to assist him at reaching his goals. I am sure he will also be successful at his function as a mayor, but his narrow view and limited understanding of himself and the world will prevent him from taking care of all the living being equally, so he will be facing many difficulties and will unconsciously do a lot of harm to others if he does not decide to become totally self-honest and start to see the bigger picture.
In my dreams he came to me, very high spirited, ordered my photography services and telling me that my photos will be awesome fantastic, that people will be amazed when they will see them and that we will perform a fantastic show for the people. He came with great enthusiasm and trust, believed in me and my professional abilities, knew how to raise my spirit, how to inspire me and present me a picture of delightful future, so I could feel very good and was looking forward to engage and produce excellent photos. But regardless of his positive attitude, I knew deep inside that there is something wrong, that I am not able to communicate with him as one and equal, since whenever I started some conversation that was outside his field of interest, he would not be able to pay attention to what I was saying, looking around and trying to escape away from me.
Thus I have recognized that his as a faker, who does not really give a damn about what is best for all. I have imagined how I would be able to support him to perform his political function with consideration of the needs of every single living being on this planet, but he decided not to listen to me. He proved that he can not be trusted and that there is no point of loosing any more time by trying to arrange a meeting with him. This is why I have decided to enter the politics also myself, since it is hard to find someone who is completely self-hones and is willing to listen. Many have large ego issues and are failing to make the necessary change that would stop this system of abuse in this world. Slowly but surely, I will do my best to be the one that can be trusted completely and to work for the benefit of all life equally.
This man is in his fifties, has a house near our city swimming pool with large and robust forged iron fence around, a large slimy dog and about thirty years old son. He has been a manager of our local swimming club, who is the most successful in our country and the selector of our national swimming team. He has also competed in swimming when he was young and his son is also involved in swimming as a teacher. He moved to our region from other part of our country, which is know by its vineyards and a lot more calm people than here, where we all rush, compete and envy to each others.
We started to cooperate in business manner about five years ago and I have become official graphic designer and photographer for the local swimming club and I also shot events and made a lot of designs for the national swimming team and international swimming events, organized by the National Swimming Association of Slovenia. He is a great manager and organizer, he trusted me and gave me a full freedom to express myself as graphic designer and photographer, and there was never the problem regarding money. All my invoices have been payed in time and by the sum of money made, he was one of, if not the largest of my customers. He was very skilled at raising money from different sponsors that I also included and promoted in my design works for the club.
But a few years ago he stopped the orders. This was also the time when I decided to slowly redirect my services to psychological services. I found out that he started to order designs at some of the design student who was also the active member of the swimming club. I found out that this decision was made in order for the club to save money, since her designs were more cheaper, but also lesser quality. However the quality of her work was good enough for the club, and the club also wanted to support her since she was an active member of the club. I was disappointed about stopping working for the club, also since I was not directly explained about that decision, they have cut me off like I became useless for them.
This guy, the manager of the club at that time, decided to run for the mayor office and also became the mayor of our city a few months ago. He really does know how to impress people, how to please them, is good at handling money, making connections and providing the progress. He never deletes anyone from his phone address book and is able to direct attention effectively in order to reach the goals. His campaign was great, he made himself available for anyone in person, had a nice web site and published special editions of the newspaper, to present his program and himself as a reliable and capable person. But there are also some points that he did not excel at the way I expected.
The first point was his cold attitude of cutting me off the swimming club without giving a try to even speak to me one word about it. Then while he was at the pre-elections stand, we talked and he complained how his eyesight is getting worse. I explained him that this is due some mind patterns that he holds to and that prevents him to see the full picture. I suggested him that he invites me to his place, so I can introduce him the Desteni solutions of self-realization and also the political solutions that are very important to understand if he really wants to support all the people as one and equal while playing the role of a mayor. He gave me his word that he will invite me even before elections, but he did not fulfill his promise. I then sent him an email and have also visited the office of the mayor after he was elected, but he did not invite me for a meeting yet.
So this man has been at some points a role model for me, since he was a very successful at his job, was able to raise money, payed all the bills in time and appreciated the work I did. However he is very goal-oriented, supported competition and elitism, and was not able to be really intimately and opened share himself with others. His communication was very narrow oriented, only to have the effect in fulfilling his self-interest. Of course he also provided for others, but only for those, who he saw as a part of his equation to assist him at reaching his goals. I am sure he will also be successful at his function as a mayor, but his narrow view and limited understanding of himself and the world will prevent him from taking care of all the living being equally, so he will be facing many difficulties and will unconsciously do a lot of harm to others if he does not decide to become totally self-honest and start to see the bigger picture.
In my dreams he came to me, very high spirited, ordered my photography services and telling me that my photos will be awesome fantastic, that people will be amazed when they will see them and that we will perform a fantastic show for the people. He came with great enthusiasm and trust, believed in me and my professional abilities, knew how to raise my spirit, how to inspire me and present me a picture of delightful future, so I could feel very good and was looking forward to engage and produce excellent photos. But regardless of his positive attitude, I knew deep inside that there is something wrong, that I am not able to communicate with him as one and equal, since whenever I started some conversation that was outside his field of interest, he would not be able to pay attention to what I was saying, looking around and trying to escape away from me.
Thus I have recognized that his as a faker, who does not really give a damn about what is best for all. I have imagined how I would be able to support him to perform his political function with consideration of the needs of every single living being on this planet, but he decided not to listen to me. He proved that he can not be trusted and that there is no point of loosing any more time by trying to arrange a meeting with him. This is why I have decided to enter the politics also myself, since it is hard to find someone who is completely self-hones and is willing to listen. Many have large ego issues and are failing to make the necessary change that would stop this system of abuse in this world. Slowly but surely, I will do my best to be the one that can be trusted completely and to work for the benefit of all life equally.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be fooled by nice word of others, feeling good when they would praise me and my work, instead of realizing that those people are masters of emotional manipulation and that their starting point is only self-interest.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that becoming rich is the goal that I also need to achieve and that money is the result of being committed and obliging person, instead of realizing that money in this system is the result of deceiving and exploiting others, and that what matters in self-honesty at all times, since we are all inter-connected, a part of one reality and in the long run, all can be provided only if we cooperate and share all the resources equally.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself the feeling of resentment after I lost my swimming club business, since I also changed my suppliers many times without explaining them why. What I must do is let go of all my past, any single attachment to my work, remain here in breath and maintain awareness that the change is the only constant in this reality and that I need to accept it the way it is, without any expectations of how reality must be.
- I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to admire any person, defining it as something more than myself and producing the feeling of adoration, instead of realizing that I am equal to any person, that I can also achieve any goal if I want to, and that what it counts is not what goals anyone achieves, but what is the person as the living being, how it is aligned with the principle of equality and how it supports all life as one and equal.
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30 December 2010
2010 - My lectures about Desteni and self-forgiveness announcement
There is a guy who created a Slovenian web site with content that expose world inequality, New World Order, Chemtrails and similar stuff. I met this guy in person firstly at the Slovenian conference "Let us create the world of peace of love" this summer, where I also introduced Desteni. After he has been following my FaceBook posts for several month, he has recently invited me to have a lectures about Desteni for young students in Slovenia and I confirmed his invitation with great joy. I am to hold the lecture at the Youth Center in Škofja Loka city on 9. February 2011 at 8pm.
The other lecture that I am planing to execute is on 2. February 2011 at 5pm at Vita Center in Naklo village which is the very popular wellness center not far from large Kranj city. I have been teaching Taijiquan a few years ago in this centre so I asked them if they are interested for me to hold a lecture there and they were very fun of that idea. This was the first available date and since I will have only 90 minutes time to speak, I am to introduce only the tool of self-forgiveness this time and share the rest of the information about Desteni in the next available dates.
A few days ago Blaž came with his suggestion at Desteni Slovenija forum to create the flyers with the short information about what Desteni stands for in form of a questions and answers, written in the youth slang of his generation and his geographic region. He expects to gain attention from his schoolmates and other young people around were he lives and studies. I read what he wrote and I considered it cool for the described purpose, and I suggested also to design a flyer with the text in the common Slovenian language that would be acceptable and understood by people of all the generations in our country.
Now the point that came up regarding all this actions was how do we introduce ourselves to others, are we allowed to introduce ourselves as members of Desteni or members of Desteni Slovenia, or do we need to request any special permission from Desteni administration. I want to avoid any possible blame, finger pointing and judgement due to misunderstanding, since Vitan already suggested Blaž that he should not print his leaflets in the name of Desteni but as one of the individuals who are joined in the Desteni group. And I want to be sure if there are any objections about me introducing Desteni to groups of people in Slovenia who are searching for the ways to self-realize themselves.
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29 December 2010
2010 - Facing my fears regarding politics
With my recent decision to go into politics, many thoughts and fears appeared. By observing the political arena in our country by watching TV news and political shows, reading newspapers, and by watching many videos and movies regarding American and world politics, like lectures of Lyndon LaRouche, who claim that the real power and agendas are hidden from the public, I became baffled about what is really going on and how the politics is truly shaping our world. Are word presidents just the puppets of the British Imperium and blackmailed by economic assassins and jackals and there is no way of running the country by principles of oneness and equality?
Our Republic of Slovenia has few days ago celebrated the 20th anniversary of independence from Federal Socialistic Republic of Yugoslavia and it has been 6 years since we become a part of European Union. The ruling political party is loosing public support and the opposition is gaining it. International watch has declared that Slovenia falling at providing true democracy, a lot of political end economic elite have become very wealthy and the recent very successful large companies are going bankrupt, for example our largest shop chain with technical good Merkur and our largest construction company SCT. People are loosing their jobs, government is making cuts and rebalancing budget and preparing to get additional loans to stabilize the situation in our country.
I am currently in the process of selling my apartment and moving to our capital city Ljubljana to enter the political arena. Now I am thinking what would be the best way for me to gain perspective how the political parties function, if I should join any party and which one, or if it is possible to be a member and participate in several parties at once to get the much larger picture how each party performs. Then I am asking myself if I should continue my study to gain some higher degree, like PhD and what discipline should I study to be most effective at my future political career.
Next I have been thinking if I am proper candidate, considering my emotional and intellectual state, physical looks and family background to be successful in the politics. Because if I look at people, who were able to climb to top government positions, they were mostly the ones, who were much more emotional stable and able to communicate with the public in very relaxed and amusing way, but who also expressed the power and who had great support from other influential people. I currently feel myself as not stable enough, still a lot of suppressed emotions, and with pretty delicate skin that is not making me the most photogenic.
However if I look at the political elite in our country, especially the prime minister, who has been also working as a model in his previous career, I see that he is deliberately using words to emotionally manipulate with the people, and that this is what also other politicians do and have been doing in the past. I am wondering if people would be able to response to common sense or have they become such mind systems that raising their emotions and national awareness would be the necessary approach in order to move the crowds and bring the change that is best for all. This is certainly something that is needed to be tested in practice.
I am planning to visit all influential political parties in our country and get to know the top politicians. Generally I see that our politicians do care about our nation but some have let the greed to take over and there is too much individualism and too little cooperation. We fight and argue a lot, the feeling of envy has become our national characteristic and nobody really knows why. Perhaps the small size of the country, measuring only 20.000 square kilometers with just 2 million citizens is one of the reasons. We are so small that almost everyone knows each other and there is hard to hide somewhere. But we are also the only country with world "love" in its name and we have never invaded and other country in the whole known history. Sadly that our tourist board is using "I feel sLOVEnia" slogan and emotionally manipulating foreigners to visit our county, but this has become established practice in all the advertising industry.
Maybe our small size would be the important factor at implementing equality system very quickly, as also other people, who are trying to bring some change here, are expecting. So far this has been only the thinking and projecting, but what will actually happen, depends mostly from my physical movement, sticking to the principle, breathing and staying emotional stable in the future. There is no way to know how thing will turn out, especially since all the world has become so tightly connected and a lot of things can happen in no time.
America is going down, China is rising, and has recently became the second largest economic power in the world. I see China has some potential to connect the world countries more effectively due to the communist system, but it also has a very high temper, a lot of anger and internal suppression. Will we be able to connect world-wide and start to cooperate, or will 3rd world war have to eradicate the old systems that do not want to change and integrate? The information technology is giving us support to raise our awareness, but there is a lot of tendencies to control and direct the crowd using press, television and internet. Who and what will prevail, that is the question, and only time will prove.
Our Republic of Slovenia has few days ago celebrated the 20th anniversary of independence from Federal Socialistic Republic of Yugoslavia and it has been 6 years since we become a part of European Union. The ruling political party is loosing public support and the opposition is gaining it. International watch has declared that Slovenia falling at providing true democracy, a lot of political end economic elite have become very wealthy and the recent very successful large companies are going bankrupt, for example our largest shop chain with technical good Merkur and our largest construction company SCT. People are loosing their jobs, government is making cuts and rebalancing budget and preparing to get additional loans to stabilize the situation in our country.
I am currently in the process of selling my apartment and moving to our capital city Ljubljana to enter the political arena. Now I am thinking what would be the best way for me to gain perspective how the political parties function, if I should join any party and which one, or if it is possible to be a member and participate in several parties at once to get the much larger picture how each party performs. Then I am asking myself if I should continue my study to gain some higher degree, like PhD and what discipline should I study to be most effective at my future political career.
Next I have been thinking if I am proper candidate, considering my emotional and intellectual state, physical looks and family background to be successful in the politics. Because if I look at people, who were able to climb to top government positions, they were mostly the ones, who were much more emotional stable and able to communicate with the public in very relaxed and amusing way, but who also expressed the power and who had great support from other influential people. I currently feel myself as not stable enough, still a lot of suppressed emotions, and with pretty delicate skin that is not making me the most photogenic.
However if I look at the political elite in our country, especially the prime minister, who has been also working as a model in his previous career, I see that he is deliberately using words to emotionally manipulate with the people, and that this is what also other politicians do and have been doing in the past. I am wondering if people would be able to response to common sense or have they become such mind systems that raising their emotions and national awareness would be the necessary approach in order to move the crowds and bring the change that is best for all. This is certainly something that is needed to be tested in practice.
I am planning to visit all influential political parties in our country and get to know the top politicians. Generally I see that our politicians do care about our nation but some have let the greed to take over and there is too much individualism and too little cooperation. We fight and argue a lot, the feeling of envy has become our national characteristic and nobody really knows why. Perhaps the small size of the country, measuring only 20.000 square kilometers with just 2 million citizens is one of the reasons. We are so small that almost everyone knows each other and there is hard to hide somewhere. But we are also the only country with world "love" in its name and we have never invaded and other country in the whole known history. Sadly that our tourist board is using "I feel sLOVEnia" slogan and emotionally manipulating foreigners to visit our county, but this has become established practice in all the advertising industry.
Maybe our small size would be the important factor at implementing equality system very quickly, as also other people, who are trying to bring some change here, are expecting. So far this has been only the thinking and projecting, but what will actually happen, depends mostly from my physical movement, sticking to the principle, breathing and staying emotional stable in the future. There is no way to know how thing will turn out, especially since all the world has become so tightly connected and a lot of things can happen in no time.
America is going down, China is rising, and has recently became the second largest economic power in the world. I see China has some potential to connect the world countries more effectively due to the communist system, but it also has a very high temper, a lot of anger and internal suppression. Will we be able to connect world-wide and start to cooperate, or will 3rd world war have to eradicate the old systems that do not want to change and integrate? The information technology is giving us support to raise our awareness, but there is a lot of tendencies to control and direct the crowd using press, television and internet. Who and what will prevail, that is the question, and only time will prove.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breathe effectively.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that thinking is something normal and acceptable and that by thinking I am doing no harm, instead of realizing that thinking is the most profound and deceptive trap ever made.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and project the movie in my mind about what might happen in the future, based on my current information and pictures that I have seen and thus producing fear that this my actually come true, instead of shutting off my deceptive mind projector and sending him somewhere far away for eternal holidays, and allowing myself to be here and acting only in accordance with what is physically present in every moment of my breath.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make assumptions of how politicians are, creating their personalities and predicting how they will respond to me, based only on some pictures and words from the media, instead of allowing myself to meet everyone in person, and then only acting according to how will they actually respond when we meet in flesh face to face.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the world is run by some higher power, fearing of some secret societies and conspiracy theories, instead of realizing that the world system is constituted from the people like me and that I am equally influential and capable of introducing change as anyone else.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I need to be deceptive and to become emotional manipulator in order to make this world a better place, instead of giving myself the opportunity to be totally honest and treating others as one and equal and remaining stable and sticking to the principle of equality no matter what others might think or how they might react.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that any deception and dishonesty is unacceptable and is the reason of why this reality is so fucked as it currently is and that only unconditional honesty at all times is what will eventually liberate us from the prison of the mind and bring heaven on earth.
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