Yesterday I wanted to wake up at the sign of alarm clock for not to sleep more than 6 hours. When I heard the alarm, I tried to stand up, but my head was a total mess. If I would move it just an inch, I would feel very dizzy, getting strong vertigo. I forced myself to get to the bathroom and with immense effort I managed to get to the toilet, where I defecated. When I stood up, I got nausea and tried to vomit, but then I did not since the feeling passed. When I looked myself in the mirror, I noticed, that I have a red swelling under my left eye, and when I took a piss, I noticed that the head of my penis is covered with tiny red boils. Then I went slowly to the living room where I laid on the sofa.
I was lying on the sofa the whole day, trying not to move, since even slightest movement of my head resulted in a strong vertigo. I felt no need to eat and drink, I only once went to the kitchen and had one cookie and a glass of water. I continued to lie down, hoping that my condition would improve in time. But it did not. And since I did not want all day to get wasted, at about 2pm I grabbed my notebook and started to write my blog about the second visit of the new girl. And it took me about 4 hours to type it. After posting the blog, I took a nap, and then started to watch Desteni members vlogs, blogs, new Subscription forum videos and went through all of Introduce Yourself section of the Money Forum, to greet all the members. At about 2am, I went to the bedroom.
When I woke up today, I expected the condition to be improved, but it basically stayed the same. I went to the bathroom with great effort, and then stepped to the living room gently, stopping after making a few steps, since every movement resulted in great nausea. When I reached the living room with the kitchen, the nausea became so great that I vomited into the kitchen sink. Of course nothing much came out of me, since my stomach was empty. I felt a bit better after, but vertigo remained, so I just prepared myself I jug of water and placed it on the table near sofa, where I lied down and started to write this blog.
Of course I tried to figure out what is the cause of this condition of mine, and there are many possible factors. If I look back, I can see, that my weekend was quite full, busy and stressful. On the sunday morning I went with my friend to the Nature & Health fair at about 8am. It was an hour drive with my car to the Ljubljana capital city. The fair was big, noisy, and I got involved in several intense and long discussions with some people who I already knew and were exhibiting their product or services. I tried to spread the word about Desteni and invited them to check the material.
One of the conversations took place outside, in the fair yard, where I was sitting down in a bit cold windy an sunny place with some girl, who has decided to live in community at the high mountain farm. I tried to explain her that running away from the civilization and enjoying the nature is not the best solution for the world problems, but she simply kept having a large smile on her face, enjoying her good feeling, and arguing that she was once an activist, but then she realized that one can do nothing against the system and the only thing that one can do, is to care for oneself and be a living example of how one can live in harmony with nature. From the books she found out about how experiments of small groups of people meditating resulted in significant dropping of the crime rate in surrounding area.
So by her believe, collective awareness is changing automatically by keeping joyful an peaceful thoughts in the mind, and it takes just a few percent of population with changed thinking an living patterns, in order to influence the rest of population, and that is suppose to be a scientific proven fact. When I asked her if she eats, and how is she contributing to feed the starved people around the word, she answered that this world is just an illusion, that even human bodies are not real, that she eats very little and simply for the sake of socializing. Many people come to visit their farm and they all return changed. So there is no need to change the system but just to be a living example and let others to also change the way they live by themselves. She did not want to consider my arguments, she hugged me joyfully, said that I will one day realize all this, and then she left. Time will prove, whose solutions are really the best for all.
Me and my friend left the fair at about 3pm and then we picked my forgotten pants from the past Desteni Slovenia group meeting, which waited for me at the Hilda's place, and then we turned home. When we arrived to Radovljica, with is the city, closest to the places where we both live, my friend invited me for a half of pizza, and so we had a dinner. After that I drove him to his place, and I went to my some close relative's place a few blocks away, since we planned to mounting one large advertising sign for some restaurant roof. It was an hour drive, and then it took us about an hour to finish the job in the slightly wind condition. While returning back, we stopped at the Jesenice retirement home and visited my grandmother, who always prepares a lot of food for me to take it to my home.
After returning to my place, I started to tidy my apartment since the new girl was to visit me. All about her visit I already explained in the previous blog post. So the reason for the vertigo could be due too extensive exposure to sun and the wind, too intense stress, physical and sexual activities, or it could be also some food poisoning or anything else that I even did not considered yet. I experience this kind of vertigo and nausea a few times per year for no known reason and it usually ends within one day. But now, it is the same condition already for the second day and I have no idea how long it will take it to improve. If no change after two days, I might go to the doctor to check what is wrong. And if anyone of you who are reading this, have any suggestions, please comment and let me know what to do.
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