I have exposed already that I have become used that knowledge and information is what is important on this world in order to succeed and be accepted by others. This is the most prominent general programming that I have received from my parents, educational system and overall media. In the past, there have been many moments where I felt very good about my ability to articulate my verbal expression to the extent that some people were amazed. Like in politics for example, people use uncommon vocabulary simply with awareness that if others are not understanding clearly the meaning of all words that they use, they would be considered as smart and more important than others. I have become used to express myself cerebral to the extent that it has become a part of my default expression. I have found strange to see that some people are not able to understand what I am saying and I have attributed this to their poor vocabulary, since they supposedly did not read as many books as me.
My life has been very much turning around knowledge and information and my approach has been mostly thought logical, analytical and intellectual mind. I have been aligning my movement as the individual system within the collective system, based on the information feedback. So I was not actually moving myself based on some deep realization, and lived basically in my mind. Since Desteni process is about stooping down from the mind into the physical, it is quite hard and challenging process. My initial approach showed my attempts of analyzing the Desteni knowledge, integrating it into my mind and sharing it through my mind. This has resulted in mimicking others, copying words and trying to be like others. I tried to fit in, but fitting into Desteni by using the mind is not very successful. So I am now pushing myself forward with intent to release the mind and to become one with the physical.
Some have suggested me to align my blogs and vlogs with the starting point to support the Desteni Income Plan. I understand this suggestions like I am suppose to emphasize the information about the Income Plan, Introduction To Desteni Course, Structural Resonance Alignment Training and Equal Money System. So, to share the message more extensively and underline their benefits for the individuals as for the world society. I could do that simply by integrating more information into my blogs and vlogs, but I feel like I would be dishonest at this moment. Like so many times before, I have tried to present myself as something more, using certain information or becoming a part of some group. I was in deed seeking for some answers about what is the meaning of life, however I have acted at all this occasions basically from my mind, fanatically shared just the knowledge and information and thus produced the opposite effect. I have learned my lesson and I am not going to make the same mistakes again.
So I am not going to try anymore to use my blogs and vlogs or the Desteni in order make myself important in the eyes of others. I am going to stabilize my feeling and emotions first, and then share the message, tools and the solutions of Desteni. I understand that it is in vein to share something that has not yet become a part of you as the physical. So I am at this moment not trying to 'advertise' everything about Desteni, but only the points that have become a part of my personal realization. I will use my blogs and vlogs in order to share my current self, without attempt to present myself as something that I am actually not. I understand that I have many points to face and release, so that is my primary goal at this moment. I feel too much separated from what Desteni stand for in totality, so I do not want to represent something that has not yet become a part of me, as the living word of who I am.
I would very much like to help others and bring the solutions to this world, but I can not help others if I do not help myself first. We all perceive others through the filter of our personality, so how is one able to support others, if one can not see clearly the root cause of the problems. Helping others has in fact become a common way of running away from facing ourselves. All the pre-conditioned programming that we have accepted, allowed and become need to be released first in order to become qualified for supporting other at the process of self-realization. I understand that there are many problems in this world currently: starvation and wars, and these are the reasons to hurry. But in order to bring the proper solution that would remove the root cause of this problems, one needs to walk slow and collaborate with others in order to bring the best solution that would stand the test of time. There have been many revolutions, many people who have moved masses of people, but they all failed. They were unable to see the whole picture, since they have not yet gained the full understanding of who they are as selves in the first place. So let us now learn from others, from the history, and walk slow and together, in order to not make the same mistake again.
- I forgive myself for allowing myself for wanting to help others, instead of first helping myself and then helping others, since I can only help others to the extent of my personal realization.
- I forgive myself for allowing myself to hurry, since if I move fast, I am not able to face all the points that need my attention in order to be effective in making this world a better place.
- I forgive myself for allowing myself to work alone in order to feel special, for other people to perceive me as the one with the best solutions, instead of realizing that we are all interconnected, we all contribute to this reality equally, and that we need all to work together as equals in order to bring the heaven on earth.
- I forgive myself for allowing myself to perceive life as a road which has a start and the end and has a limited length, so I need to hurry and do as much things as possible, to live as fully as possible, caring just for self-gratification, instead of realizing that time is just a projection of the mind, and that what actually exist is only this present moment. Thus to live means to be fully present with your full awareness here in every moment of every breath and not allowing any thoughts, feelings and emotions to distract me from living here.
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