Day 194: Allowing myself to be pushed to push myself to push others

In January 2020 I took a certified Life Coaching course. I became very excited about how powerful the coaching approach is in terms of assisting coachees in a relatively short time period to reach very high awareness of their life situation, to identify the obstacles, and to find solutions to overcome them. I found coaching to be something that I can deeply impact others by while allowing me not to activate my past selfish character of wanting to feel good by impressing others with the amount of advanced knowledge that I acquired. The fact that coaches are not supposed to be people who give advice, consult or teach and that their main purpose is to only mirror coachees, felt very liberating to me. However, there are some aspects of the coaching business that I do not like.

I learned from one of the coaches who is teaching his Natural Enrollment Method that establishing trust is an important part of the process to get clients. And it takes a lot of time to build rapport to the level where others become comfortable with opening themselves to you as a coach. So while coaching is very powerful it also requires readiness from the coachees to be vulnerable and courageous for them to get the most out of the coaching process. There must be a willingness to change and investment of time and money from their side in order for the coaching process to begin. And for that to happen there is a requirement from me to initially invest a lot my time and money in order to present the power of the coaching process to them and also to present myself as someone who is highly qualified for effective execution of such services and that I am also someone who they can trust with absolute certainty in terms that I will keep whatever they share with me to myself.

In recent months due to the Coronavirus or Covid-19 global event, I found it hard to get enough clients for my coaching business. One factor was my own fears about how far the changes within society will go and how that might influence me personally in a negative way. So all the media information that portrayed the virus as something very dangerous and the quarantine and economy shutdown as something justified definitely distracted my ability to focus on running a coaching business. Instead of investing my time in promoting my services, I spent many hours in research what is actually going on behind the scene of supposed global virus pandemic. And I have been occupied a lot by sharing interesting discoveries about what is the most probable truth all over the social media networks. I also had doubts that I would actually be effective with my coaching services to assist others since the global situation has been changing very fast and has impacted everyone extensively.

What I also noticed is that with the coaching business I definitely am pushing myself out of my comfort zone and consequently I have been experiencing a resistance. A point that I find most challenging is the energetic addition to feeling good. A great number of my past activities have been driven by wanting to prove to others that I am better than them in terms of my knowledge and skills. Consequently, in order for me to maintain my status as a superior being, I did not allow others to reach my level of excellence. That manifested in the form of being envious towards others, analyzing their activities and exposing any of their imperfections, and bullying them for that. So while I am now pushing myself to genuinely assist others to become the best version of themselves, I sometimes experience energy lows due to the persistence of the previous wiring of my mind.

Coaching has also introduced a new dynamic to my life in terms of scheduling. Previously I have been working on projects where I did not have to be so strict with time. For example, when I was doing a creative job and someone ordered me to produce some design or a photo, those were projects that took days, weeks or even months to complete. So just one client kept me occupied for a long time and I had the freedom to work on the project whenever I felt inspired during the day and thus not having to look at the clock very often. And in regards to working for my father, I fit his needs the most if I am available for him as soon as he calls me and to work as long until what he needs from me has been completed. Thus I find it more comfortable if there are others who contact me and give me work because they know what to expect from me and I can take all the time that is needed for me to complete the works to a level that I am satisfied with. And I preferred to have as much free time as possible after executing my creative work until I would be given the next order.

At the business of coaching, there must be people who order the coaching services in order for themselves to be pushed out of their comfort zone. In order for this to happen something has to happen for them to motivate them into desiring to be pushed out of the comfort zone by the method of coaching. And for me to sell the coaching method in general and then me as the coach that others would want to hire, I have to initially push myself out of my comfort zone. So I am also pushing myself to be in groups of people like Destonians that push me to increasingly push myself to push others and thus we have become many who are pushing each other out of our comfort zones in order to break free from of our limitations and to expand ourselves as much as possible. Consequently, we would in time not push each other down anymore due to desire to be more than others but push others up to the level where we can coexist as equals and live our utmost potentials.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my father as someone that I must maintain my relationship with my whole life since I owe him for raising me and that I have to take care for him when he will be older and less capable similar than he took care for me when I was a todler and also less capable of taking care for myself. I realize that my relationship with him is based on him wanting me to feel like I owe him by him telling me many times that I have not repayed yet even for the milk that he purchased for me in my childhood years. I commit myself whenever my father wants me to do something and my mind produces thoughts like: “I have to serve him fast and well since I owe him my life.” to stop and breathe. I then with gratefulness for what he has done for me consider how I can fulfil his current needs however without allowing him to extort things from me by diminshing me and making me feel bad since that is just his projection of his own lack of self-trust and feeling of inferiority as the consequence of his childhood experiences that include loosing his father at a very young age.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider opinion of my father as more important that opinions of others and consequently doing mostly things which I can impress him with. I realize that by me wanting to impress my father I am equally diminishing myself like he is diminishing himself by wanting to impress others and consequently I am responsible for this limiting pattern of selfish interest and energetic addiction to continue in our bloodline. I commit myself when and as am deciding what to do, and my mind produces thoughts like: “Do something that you will be able to impress your father positively as much as possible with so that he will be proud of you.” to stop and breathe. Instead of that I decide for activities where I consider all life as equal and that have a long-term consequence outflow that are best for all being in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would not be able to handle big projects since I get exhausted alreday by doing small projects, especially when I do design activities for my father. I realize that feeling of exhaustion comes from the negative energy of feeling heavy as the polarity of my desire for the positive energy of upliftment that is generated when I feel proud and as someone more after I have done something for my father and he then praises my work, especially in front of other people. I commit myself when and as I do things for other people, especially for my father and my mind it producting thougths like: “Do things in such a way that you will be able to feel good about yourself since positive feelings are what life is all about.” to stop and breathe. Within the realization of how any energetic experience, regardless if being negative or positive, is exhausting my physical body and eventually creating the feeling of polarity oposite, I decide for my starting point for doing anything to be creation of something paractical and tangible, that contributes to making this world a better place for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present my advanced knowledge and computer skills to my father with intention to impress him and intimidate him in order to maintain my superiority towards him instead of realizing that I am by such attitude being the same kind of bully that he has been many times towards me in the past. I commit myself when and as I communicate to my father and my mind is producing thought like: “Show him that he is not able to grasp everthing that you are capable of knowing and doing so that he will be able to admire you.” to stop and breathe. Instead of that I decide when and as I communicate with him to become one and equal with him in terms of using vocabulary that he is able to understand and to also take time to teach him computers skills so that he can increase his capability of independently using the latest gadgets and devices. 

Some additional related Eqafe supportive audios:

Pushing and Pulling Time
Moods Ruled My Life
Daddy Issues
Despite My Best Intentions
My Life of Absolutism
Inequality and Separation in Your Mind
Pride
Discovering self Pride
Losing Self Value Through Validation
Asking for & Accepting Help

Day 193: Tricks and Traps of being a Grammar Nazi

Recently I read a finalized document with a list of words in relation to some projects created by other authors. Some words were singular and some were compound words of two singular words. However, all of the compound words were missing hyphens and thus they were grammatically incorrect. I then posted my observation to a chat group with the authors of the list and started to explain how using the hyphens is important in order to convey the message correctly and avoid misunderstandings. I compared writing words similar to the writing of mathematical formulas where if separators are committed, the final result of the formula will be different than expected. I attached a Quantum Language video with a clear explanation of how low grammar skills make you vulnerable to manipulations from the legal system and how using the correct grammar can empower you.

However, I was pointed out that I can not expect everybody to comprehend words in the same way as I do and that this is beyond my control. I rephrased their answer and what came out is that I was misunderstood because I started to explain the importance of using hyphens and presenting them as a mathematical equivalent instead of just simply explaining that I suggest some grammatical correction of the word list. When I looked at why I decided for a more complex explanation I realized that previous to that I have pulled up a recent memory where I noticed someone else also avoiding hyphens when writing compound words. So I associated both events and compounded it myself in my mind as something that needs to have a deeper explanation because I saw it as a repeating pattern. And I considered the list of words as a document that others will use to learn how to correctly write compound words and thus damage with long-term consequences would be created. Besides that, I already expected from the authors of the list to be more responsible in terms of using correct grammar so I emotionally reacted with disappointment and outrage.

What also came up in the further discussion was that during communication with other members in the groups one should not be so careful about every single grammatical mistake. Because members are from all around the world and each of them is on a different level in terms of language skills. So the point of working together is not to perfect the language but to achieve other the goal of the group that is beyond the vocabulary. That reminded me of the event where year are I have been speaking to a friend of my father about some advanced discoveries and I have perceived my way of communication with him as something that is very normal. However, he told me that he does not comprehend what I am saying, despite us speaking the same language. That surprised me since I could not see at that time how I did not make any effort to level my way of communication to match the vocabulary of the person that I am speaking to. In the past years, I already discovered that one of my characters or behavior patterns is trying to impress others with the advanced secret knowledge that I have gathered. And I have not been only sharing the knowledge for the purpose of impressing others and feeling good about my superior know-how but have also used more advanced vocabulary and grammar for the same purpose.

In a similar way, the legal system works since it uses vocabulary and grammar that is quite different than how common people communicate. They even have their own Black's Law dictionary where definitions of the words are different than in common dictionaries. My language research was thus also for the purpose of protecting myself from any legal attacks by others. However, I have never pushed myself so far to really excel at grammar, not in Slovenian, nor in the English language. Previously my motivation was self-centered and energy-based and I commit myself to change this. I commit myself to slow down and to perfect my Slovenian and English language skills for the purpose of better communication and collaborating together to bring a better world and to also use Quantum Grammar to effectively establish agreements and protect those who are not able to do so due to their weak language skills.

Additional supportive audios in regards to this blog post:

The Value in Vocabulary
The Nature of Words
How Language Substantiates the Mind
Language: the Sceptre of Creation
Encoding Communication and Programming Relationships
Who am I as Language
Equalizing to Language
Unconscious Effects of Reacting to Language
Is Your Communication Sound

Day 192: My greatest fears

Within one of the recent chats of our Desteni support group for self-perfection, we were discussing how to face the emotional challenges related to the Coronavirus or Covid-19 global shutdown. It became clear that what the majority of people are afraid of the most is not becoming infected with the virus and becoming sick but something else. One of the biggest fears, in general, is, of course, dying however since the death statistics were not as bad as presented in public media, that was not the main issue. The main problems that people saw were related to a lack of food that could cause starvation and as it was also evident from popular memes, the biggest fear was lack of toilet paper, lol. Except that in Slovenia the product that people have purchased the most was actually the yeast. I am now also going to look at what my biggest fears for me personally are in relation to the recent global situation.

So as I wrote in my previous blog post, the biggest change for me was that the source of income from my father that I have been relying on was gone and thus I was not able to pay for the rent anymore. However, in relation to that, the actual fear was that the landlord would lash out on me with anger and thus disturb my inner peace with a projection of his emotional energy. Or maybe he would even demand that I move out of my current apartment. And this situation was also related to my feeling of shame and discomfort since several years ago I was also not able to pay for the rent for several consecutive months. I still owe him that money and occasionally the landlord still brings this point up and I feel uncomfortable about that. In a way, I did pay him for that missing rent however it was in the form of alternative digital currency that was expected to become convertible to fiat currencies very soon however that did not happen to this day. So regardless of him having the funds on his account he, equally like me, is not able to use it in a practical way. And also a girlfriend of the landlord that lives nearby has several months ago made an attempt to convince the landlord to make me move out due to her predictions that I will not be able to pay for the rent due to her false perception that my monthly income was far less than it actually was. Thus I am also uncomfortable that her predictions became true although the actual cause now is something very different and also she could not predict that. I have read that currently, one-third of the people in the United States can no longer afford to pay for the rent so knowing that I am not the only one with such a challenge does assist me a bit. And what I see is that beneath this feeling of shame and discomfort there is my old main pattern of fearing to be judged by others and not wanting to display any of my mistakes publicly. My father at the end of each year has been proudly announcing to the world that he is completely debt-free and I also wish to be able to say that however in recent years I was not able to do that.

What is also related to the lack of money is my dependency on social support money for the past several years that is also something that I am not proud of. Because of that my father is seeing me as a looser and has shamed me many times and I do not want to experience that ever again. However, I am not so much concerned about what my father says since I have realized that he is speaking from his own insecurities about himself that he compensates with a craving for attention from other people and the need to be recognized in public as a good person. And I also do not want money to be the main focus in my life since it is just an arbitrary means of exchange in ways that are hard to wrap the head around it. Some people are allowed to create money out of thin air in abundance while others are not allowed that and are even prevented to get it enough to support themself with it properly. Besides that, there are constant periodic financial crises that create worldwide depressions. So regardless of how much money someone has, it can all be taken away in a moment by some completely unexpected event. Consequently, I also do not want to be attached to money while I actually have always been able to find ways to have my basic needs met. And I am researching options and development of global events that have the potential to turn the money into something more stable and fair.

The next point that is also related to money and survival is the vaccination agenda and 5G network. I watched many documentaries that explain how the existence of coronavirus has been deliberately blown out of proportions in order to enforce mandatory vaccination. And that many of the cases where people got sick or even died were connected to the rollout of the 5G network that influenced the human body in a negative way. Then also how if we allow the vaccination agenda and further implementation of 5G, each of us could become controllable and enslaved even more. Or also prevented from accessing your own bank account and food if not complying with the controllers. And how the 5G has been weaponized and can be used to target groups or individuals to disable their body functions or even kill them. Also, we could see how in a relatively short amount of time governments have taken legal measures and public media has focused on spreading mostly negative news that resulted in people's movement becoming restrained and their sources of income diminished, in some cases to zero. So the underlying fear in regards to this point is about the same scenario to be repeated in the future even faster and with even stronger negative consequences for me and others.

Besides initial ranting and raving I now also going to assist myself with the writing of some self-forgiveness and self-correction statements that I learned at the free online course DIP Lite that I also recommend to others:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that due to the current state of almost all people in the world being connected via the internet and making friendships on social networks with thousands of individuals from all over the planet, we now comprehend how similar and interdependent we are and thus we will not turn against each other ever again. I realize that while there exist technical potentials to increase the speed of self-realization, the actual process of real inner transformation takes many years of diligent work and many are still in the beginning stages of this process. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “I can now relax and have complete trust in the future of peace, happiness, and abundance.” to stop and breathe. I then rather keep myself open to any kind of event that might happen at any time and rely on my ability that I will always be able to find a solution to any challenge that I face in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone controlling me as something bad and unacceptable due to my perception that I am free, that I need to stay free, and that anything that will limit my freedom has to be opposed with maximum force. I realize that each of us is already living within many physical, mental and spiritual limitations and that sense or state of freedom is relative and can be practically lived only with consideration of the outflow consequences of acts of every single individual in existence since we all share one existence and every action has its consequence. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “Every restriction enforced by others onto me is wrong and I will fight it and protect my current freedom!“ to stop and breathe. I then rather take time to see why the certain new limitation has been established, if it is for the long-term benefit of most living beings and to see how many freedoms I still have that allow me to move, create, express and to provide for my basic needs of survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the character of a victim due to all the physical, mental and spiritual limitations that I currently experience and that since I am not able to be aware of all the existence and control every detail of it I demand to be taken care of by someone who has more control since I am entitled to be so. I realize that while I am experiencing certain limitations I also have many options to overcome them and expand myself which would be a much better use of time and my potentials than not moving and staying in a state of self-pity. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “You are so small, weak and insignificant so you have the right to be taken care of.” to stop and breathe. I then rather write down all my weaknesses and the options for becoming stronger in those areas and move effectively every single moment in order to become more able and respond to everything that I am facing in my life.

In regards to this blog post, I also suggest listening to these supportive audios from the Eqafe website where Every Question is Answered for Everyone:

The Unpredictability of Life
Who's Responsible for the Enslavement of Mankind
How I Justified taking Control of Existence
Justifying Control on the Premise of Unity
When the Creators Lost Control
My Life as a Bossy Perfectionistic Control-Freak
Unpredictability of Consciousness
Money Consuming our Minds
Master of War
Everything Must Be Just So
What Is Inner Control
Freedom of Expression
What Does it Mean to Redefine Freedom
Practicality within Redefining Freedom

Day 191: I can no longer count on my father helping me

The new measures that I implemented in recent weeks, as described in my previous blog post, assisted me in calming down my heart area. Since I stopped spending many hours online following coronavirus related to mainstream and alternative news and long videos about all the possible background happenings, my mental state became sufficiently stable. I now have a routine of checking emails and social media messages only twice per day and I read national media news articles once per day, just to be properly informed about the economic and social changes in our country. I do daily planning of my activities and then I execute them one after another without any deviation. That assisted me in becoming very motivated to wake up in the morning, knowing that I have enough work for more than the whole day. And I get satisfaction from ticking off the tasks that I completed and reviewing the list of all completed daily achievements before I go to sleep. However, I noticed also one relapse that I see connected to a fear point due to some other new situation.

That new situation is the realization that my father is currently not able to assist me financially wise. In the last several years, I have been with approximately constant quantity doing some graphic design and administrative work every single month. And usually, he has been paying me for my executed work pretty regularly every single month. In February 2020 I worked especially a lot for him and I have been looking forward to the earned money. However, that is also the months when our government started to implement the lockdown and his clients did not pay him for the services that he charged. Consequently the following month he was not able to pay me. However, I then also assisted him by preparing the application for the extended financial limit on his bank account. I assumed that he will also pay for what he owns me when the bank will grant him the limit. So I waited and waited and then I called him to check the state of the application. I was quite shocked to hear from him that the bank approved the limit however he already spent all the money on his personal needs like extending the registration of the car and similar.

My father liked to play the character of a savior and has effectively assisted me a couple of times when I was in financial troubles. He is very ingenious and innovative however it looks that the current situation was also too much for him to handle since it is a massive global event that changed the situation in basically all the people on this planet. I often considered how I am relying on him saving me every time I am in trouble and how I also still was playing the polarity character of a victim just to keep some relationship with him as my father. And I often wished for some event to happen so that I could have a good reason to break this attachment to him and become more self-reliant. And now it seems that this global shutdown is exactly what I wished for and I actually am now very focused on developing my own Life Coaching business services that should generate sufficient source of income for me in order not to have to rely on my father anymore.

So I had been pushing my business point forward however I do not find it so easy. The most challenging point for me currently is getting clients. I have been studying any ways of how to get them and have invested many days of researching and testing methods and apps for booking and customer relationship management. I have thousand of contact in my address book, thousand of Facebook friends, and thousands of LinkedIn connections that I am able to use to get for marketing. The challenge is how to merge all the contacts to have a complete overview of all my previous communication with any of my contacts and how to systematically follow-up with each of them without anyone falling out of the sales funnel and to avoid any embarrassment due to forgetting any of my past communication with any of them. So far I could not find and CRM that is able to amalgamate all these sources of information and it seems that I will have to develop some kind of CRM system on my own. And then there are all sorts of decisions I have to make like assessing who would be most prospective contacts and to sort them for the purpose of sequential drill-down.

But the most disturbing thing for me currently is that I have not been able to pay for my rent for the past two months. The rent is being collected in cash by the son of the landlord that also lives in my apartment building. I am meeting him several times per month since he often works in his shed fixing his bikes and experimenting with housing construction using natural materials. Last month when I was not able to pay for the rent the son of the landlord expressed quite a lot of anger about being late with the rent because his father also urgently needed money. I felt very uncomfortable because of that and went into fear. I asked for government support in regards to the rent and I was approved however only for one month and I expect to get the money only the next month. So when the son of the landlord called me if he can visit me to collect the rent for this month I again went in fear about him becoming angry again. Luckily he comprehended the situation and he also showed no signs of resentment while I have been meeting him at the backyard where he has been doing extensive cleaning of the clutter from the attic.

The relapse that is probably connected with all this additional fear of survival manifested as problems with skin cracks between my toes, especially on my right foot. It seems that the circulation and energy flow through my legs again decreased to an insufficient level. I took care to walk a lot barefoot through each day and I even started to do barefoot hiking to the nearby mountain each weekend however it looks like that was not enough. So I decided for additional support in the form of toe socks which I already wore in the past. I ordered a dozen of such cheap socks from China and a couple of more expensive socks from local online stores that would get me through until the overseas shipment arrives. It is not a permanent solution however toe socks effectively prevent shin of the toes to press on each other the moisture between toes to accumulate there. I figured out that my week leg circulation is mostly genetic due to inherited fear patterns from my father. And my job has been mostly related to working with a desktop computer in a sitting position on a chair or with a laptop computer in a lotus sitting position on my bed with my legs crossed. So I do generally do a lot of mental intellectual work where my legs are still and I can not move them a lot. However, I have a plan for my Life Coaching services to be executed also in a standing position or while I walk around my office or even at the nearby path along the bank of Drava river.

I just heard today that the lockdown is slowly being lifter in our country. From today we are able to freely travel to other municipalities without going through the checkpoints with a special permit on their borders and also libraries and schools will start to open gradually with the beginning of the next week. Hopefully, also other businesses will start to be opened again and the financial transfers will get back to normal soon. I heard some predictions that the global economic situation will become even worse due to plans to completely collapse the current fiat financial system in order to then implement a completely new one that will be much better for all being on this planet. So let's see what will actually happen.

And here are some related suggested supportive audios from the Eqafe webstore with basically Every Question Answered For Everyone:

Why Fear Feels Different to Different People
Money Fears
Why we create Fear instead of Solutions
The Design of Fear of Loss
In Fear of the Future
Adaptation and Survival
Internal & External Process

Day 190: Trying to be prepared for what could happen in the future

In the last couple of days, I noticed how I have become increasingly anxious. This has been reflecting in the form of frequent heath arrhythmia and stronger tremors in the area around my heart. I had difficulties with relaxing enough to fall asleep in the evening and even though the day I occasionally had pressing episodes where my breathing became more difficult. Yesterday while I was sitting in the backyard garden and had a vegetable salat in the sun I felt like my heart was slowly giving up and I got scared about dying soon. I called a doctor on the phone and based on my answers to her questions she concluded that my heart is just fine and what I am experiencing is mind-related. Then I also borrowed a blood pressure measuring device from one of my neighbors. The results showed that my blood pressure and pulse are normal. That assisted to calm myself down pretty much, however, I realized that I need to take additional measures to protect myself from too much stress.

During the coronavirus lockdown, I took a lot of care to handle the situation in a calm and peaceful way, paying attention to not overwhelm myself. I did physical exercises in the morning, took regular 1-hour daily walks, stocked myself with food and continued to work from my home. When I noticed the anomalies in regards to my heart I concluded that daily routine was not enough to ground me sufficiently so I went for a longer and more strenuous hike. I noticed that it assisted me a lot so I repeated it a week later and I decided to do it also on each of the following weekends. Additional measures were cutting down the time spent on social media, removing myself from online dating websites and focusing on my personal needs. I restarted to use the Nirvana app that is a companion software of the Getting Things Done methodology that I discovered years ago by reading a book about it. While in the previous months I did moderate planning of my activities, I have now with that app collected and organized all the projects, tasks and reoccurring events. It now helps me to avoid procrastination and laziness and it assists me in being much more productive each day so I am now much more satisfied with myself.

The following are the related statements of self-forgiveness, realizations, and commitments that I learned to apply at the free online self-perfection course Desteni I Process Lite and I suggest you to also try it out to assist with directing yourself effectively:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the discoverer and sharer of the deepest life secrets. I realize that while digging for and forwarding shocking information made me feel good and useful to others, I lack within that to find a way to monetize it and to provide a stable source of income for my basic needs. I commit myself to when and as I look at my passions to ask myself about the core reasons for doing that and to then look at how I can turn it into a business or or doing it as a hobby while providing myself an additional source of income to at least cover all of my monthly expenses.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can protect myself from all negative influences the most by researching how things in this world work which means spending a lot of time watching all the available documentaries about secret societies, financial and legal system and every interesting fact that I stumble upon. I realize that there are a lot of contradictive theories that are all very concerning and absorbing all this information has created many fears and insecurities within me. Thus I commit myself to only occasionally follow the sources of information that proved so far to be the most reliable and are in a form that takes as little time as possible from me to digest the infromation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that possession of a large quantity of information is the best way to protect myself from all the possible harm. I realize that while the expected result would have to be in me becoming more self-confident, the accumulation of information actually made my mind even more restless and every situation that I found myself in triggered a lot of thoughts about all kind of possible reasons why I am experiencing something and made me confused about how to respond to situations that I am facing in real-time. I commit myself instead of creating assumptions based on accumulated knowledge to rather ask people that I am meeting about what is their reason for doing something. And to also ask other people in the actual situations that I find myself in about what is the nature of any manifestation in my physical proximity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to build my stability on the information that I gathered in the past instead of realizing that any information that I possess can become outdated and that it could also be false in the first place. I commit myself to when and as I am facing a situation in my life and my mind is trying to assist me by fetching all kinds of supposedly related information that I integrated in the past or trying to associate the current event with any of my past experiences, to stop and breathe. I then rather face every single situation as something completely new and not even slightly related to anything that I know about or have experienced in the past by doing real-time research based on what I can verify by tangible evidence at this present moment.

And here are some additional suggested educational audios to listen from the Eqafe website with Every Question Answered for Everyone:

Hidden in Secrets
Secrecy
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Secret Information
Technology Brainwashing & Body Influence
Self-Image and Fear of Others
Living Fear
Mental Hoarder

Day 189: How the new Coronavirus and Covid-19 influenced me

We are in the 2nd week of the new Coronavirus shutdown in Slovenia where we are not permitted to travel outside the municipality where we live, with some exceptions. The new government directive is that we must stay at home and go out only for shopping for groceries, occasional walks and to go to work if you are the lucky employee where the business has not been shut down. Now face masks are mandatory on all closed public spaces like stores for example. Public media present the picture of the situation where the hospitals are full of COVID-19 patients while those who have actually visited the hospital say that they are almost completely empty. I have noticed how I emotionally reacted in front of some people in this situation so I am going to do a few self-corrections.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when the security guard offered me to disinfect my palms in at the entrance of the store where I wanted to buy some groceries. Within that, I forgive myself for refusing to use the disinfectant with the justification that I do not know what its ingredients are and that it may actually harm me. I realize that the security guard has just been doing his job and that I could explain myself, accept or refuse his offer while remaining emotionally stable. I commit myself to when and as I visit a store and I am confronted with a new situation and my mind is producing thoughts like: “What the fuck is now this? How far will the forcing of things onto me go on? How more strict will the situation become in the future?” to stop and breathe. I decide to constructively analyze the situation, stay stable, ask questions about the reasons for the change, asses possible threats and then decide about my response while considering others as equals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become annoyed when the grocery shop assistant told me to use the plastic gloves to pick the fruit and then me telling her that I do not believe in what public media is telling us about the danger of viruses. I realize that she was also just doing her job, following instructions of her superiors with thought that this will bring more safety. I commit myself to when and as someone tells me to do something in regards to virus scare and my mind is producing thought like: “I am allowing no one to command me and to tell me what to do!“ to stop and breathe. I then consider also the point of view of those who are telling me things and maybe decide to obey their suggestion since things like wearing gloves can not harm me and is a very small nuisance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with the fear when noticing how people have panicked and went on a mass grocery shopping. I realize that I allowed myself to be afraid of food running out and me having to starve while the government explained that they have food reserves that are enough for several months. I commit myself to when and as I observe compulsive buying in the stores and my mind is producing thoughts like: “Look how people are smart and stocking themselves just to be safe so learn from them and do the same1” to stop and breathe. I then rather consider trusting the government and buying for myself only what I need for the next several days since if I would overbuy, I would contribute to the store going out of items for those who currently need them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to fear that the deep state members will use this fake coronavirus pandemic to enforce compulsory vaccination and that I will be chipped and become a slave where my health will also deteriorate due to vaccination and 5G network. I realize that I am creating such fear due to the projection of a negative future in my mind. I commit myself to when and as I notice the new events happening in this world and my mind is producing thoughts like: “Look at all the catastrophes that the deep state will certainly use for their depopulation agenda!” to stop and breathe. I then consider the possibilities of all kinds of scenarios, but pay attention to not overthink and rather remain calm and respond only to actual threats that manifest themselves in my close proximity that I am actually able to protect myself from in a practical way.

Here are some suggested related audios to listen:
The Evolution of Viruses (Part 1)
The Evolution of Viruses (Part 2)
Fighting off Viruses
The Virus and the Body
Mind + Virus Versus Body
The Evolution of the Common Cold
Flu, Fear & the Future

Day 188: A balance between the inner and outer

This is a reflection on my current experience of myself in relation to recent events in my personal life and news about global events. The biggest points are engagement in online dating, dental issues, legal threats, developing my new business services, visiting the gym, inner transformation process, Coronavirus, U.S. elections, new Slovenian government, and the global money system.

It has been about two weeks since I reengaged in an active online dating. I updated my existing profiles at some of the dating websites and created new profiles at most promising dating sites and apps. It has been a massive investment of my time and also some money to present myself in the best way possible to single women, to browse their profiles and like the ones that I found to be most compatible with me. With some that responded positively, I engaged in extensive online conversations, voice chats and in some cases even traveling and meeting them live. The process of weeding out all the fake scamming and phishing profiles has been quite frustrating and the percentage of those who actually responded was very low. In the chats with those that responded I learned many new things and had to make decisions in regards to the level of compatibility and predictions how my life in a long-term relationship with them would influence me personally and business-wise. And mostly I have been wondering about my motivation and expectations about wanting to be in a relationship in the first place or do I actually need to be in a relationship to achieve the effects that I expect from being in a relationship with someone else. For example how much would someone else contribute to me becoming more motivated in doing something and suggesting to me what to do in order to compensate my indecisiveness as a typical Libra? And to what level is dating possibly for the most part just a distraction from empowering myself on my own and becoming able to function without the need of being directed and approved by someone outside of myself?

The tooth pain and a visit to the dentist made me think about my current dental state, the future of losing even more teeth by getting older and the general role of the teeth for practical processing of the food and the social acceptance while smiling and thus displaying own teeth to others. For example, even though dating the feedback of the girls showed how much value they give to an outer presentation, including how the teeth look. And that also created concern about the relationship dynamic if the situation of my teeth would worsen a lot. Then I wondered about the national medical insurance, how our dental system works and the long waiting periods or high costs of dental appointments if deciding to pay it all by myself and the option to travel to Croatia where they have better dental equipment and much lower prices. I even considered if I could apply any of the other dental options that I heard about like stell cell implants for the extracted teeth to regrow or to initiate the process of growing the complete new set of teeth like some were able to achieve when transitioned to breatharianism. Or how the new plasma science that the Keshe Foundation has been developing has a similar potential of directly providing the necessary energy that we extract by eating food and thus we would not any longer have the need to use the teeth for food crushing and consequently they would stay in perfect condition.

Some level of anxiety that I experienced in the past couple of years was also due to legal threats and discovering how the global system of money, religion, law, and enforcement works. Like how the birth certificates are being used to create fictions, value for the banking system, a life of bondage by the assumption of consent and expanding the monarchistic dictatorship of the Roman Catholic Church all over the globe by creating wars and killing millions of people. And how each one of us has the power of claiming own life by taking similar procedure that has been almost literally exposed in the Jupiter Ascending moving and transitioning from using national languages that have been deliberately corrupted into babble into using the Correct-Sentance-Structure-Communication-Parse-Syntax-Grammar-Performance. I was glad to see that withing the current U.S. elections presidential candidate Andrew Yang talked so much about the importance of transitioning from the current system of consumerism, perpetual growth, and debt into making the quality of life as the primary objective by providing Unconditional Basic Income in form of a Freedom Dividend and finally enjoying the fruits of all kind of automation, robots and artificial intelligence that we have developed. Even the leader of the new Slovenian government has expressed plans to move in this direction and supposedly the global news obsession about the New Human Coronavirus, fake or not, could be the additional motivation or just a public distraction in order for the new global financial system to be implemented that would finally free the humanity.

With the development of computers and the internet, we are increasingly becoming connected and able to share information with anyone all over the globe in a matter of milliseconds. However, digitalization also presents the challenge of creating illusions and fake news so one needs to be very cautious about everything that is online. It is all a reflection of our own mind where we equally create parallel virtual worlds in our imagination where we hide and pretend and think that our actions there has no consequence. That can be addictive and if we apply the same principle also in this physical world that we all share, the result is the destruction of our life sources that has become more and more evident. Since what we can see out there is merely a reflection of what is within us, it is best for all to walk the path towards manifesting a Virus Free Mind. So while we can all satisfy our curiosity about what is going on in this world it is best to stay balanced and spend at least equal time walking the process of self-reflection, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and self-commitments with the support of online courses like the completely free DIP Lite course with experienced live buddies. And while we can not change the basic structure of our physical body and all of its characteristics that we inherited, we still can improve it by selecting a diet that would best support our physical body and exercising in order to stay fit the best way possible. Thus I also have improved my eating habits and increased the frequency and visiting the gym in order to make the best of all the potentials that I have within all the limitations that are beyond my power of conscious influence.

The field in my life that needs more movement has remained my business activities. It is interesting how I become excited about something like becoming a Certified Life Coach and imagining how offering such services would best fit my lifestyle and would support others the most and they observed how things are not moving as fast as I hoped to. There is a question of how actually I am influencing this world by my current activities and if there are actually positive consequences that I am not even aware of. Like is it more effective to be politically active out there, is talking and assisting others face to face personally or in group formation more important, should I blog and vlog more, especially in the English language, or is my inner process of transforming my own mind patterns the most important since it resonates on a subtle level and creates a ripple effect on all levels of existence? Well so far I am moving slowly but steadily in all those areas and I just wish that it will create a synergetic accumulative effect that would result in a better world for all as soon as possible. I definitely feel resistances in the form of physical tiredness and it is not easy to identify what portion of it is simply muscle tiredness from lifting weights at the gym, how much of it is the mental tiredness due to absorbing and processing an incredible amount of information on a daily basis, to what extend my awareness is just becoming more integrated with my physical body that is under influence of planetary gravitational force, how much the two teeth with root canals in my mouth contribute to the feeling of lack of energy, does the electromagnetic fields from all the cell towers, wifi networks, and other possible influences play I significant role in how I currently feel, and what am I able to do to feel more light, energized and productive. Anyway, I simply do my best in every single moment and make sure that I remain emotionally stable as much as possible within the realization that we are all in this together, that we are all one and that if I keep such awareness, I will be just fine no matter what happens.

Suggested related supportive educational audios:
Balance
Creating Balance in Change
The Balance in Support
The Good Times & the Bad
In Balance with your Body
Creating Balance while Changing Yourself
The Trinity of Dependence, Independence and Interdependence
Over Disciplined and Overindulging
Me Time and We Time
When You Change & When You Don't
Split into Two Worlds
Insecurity-Confidence Polarity
My Intelligence is my Only Friend
Mind-Made Choices